Chapter Twenty-One
The next morning when I went to the clearing Declan paced back and forth, moving over fallen trunks and rocks, without missing a step. I stood silently, watching the pondering look on his face. He was concentrating extremely hard on something. I took another step forward, standing in a stream of sunlight. The rays beamed off my yellow wings that I had finally set free, reflecting a shimmer from the dew on a tree branch. One of the rays caught Declan in the eye, causing him to lose his footing and trip forward. He lifted his aqua eyes to me.
“Calliope,” he breathed, surprised. He hadn’t heard me coming, which was saying something. I was becoming more stealth-like. I was officially all-faery.
His eyes grew wide as they took in my wings, but couldn’t say another word. He gravitated toward me.
My wings fluttered effortlessly behind me, reveling in their true environment. “If I come to Faylinn, how will I know what to do?”
“It will come to you,” he said. My father’s words echoed in my mind. “If nothing else, I think you have a pretty wise man you can turn to.”
I smiled humbly. “Faylinn loved my father, right?”
He nodded, assertive. “Faylinn was at its liveliest during his family’s reign.”
“What if they don’t accept me like you think they will?”
“There is no way they could deny you,” Kai’s voice descended from his favorite branch. I looked up to him and he smiled. A genuine smile. Butterflies twirled in my stomach. I tore my eyes away.
“Then I want to go. I want you to take me to Faylinn,” I said with finality.
Declan pulled me into his arms before I could react and spun me around. His grip made it difficult to breathe, but he was laughing. I couldn’t interrupt his delight. I invited his delight with open arms. The moment I made the decision to go, I had that intuitive feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was the right choice.
“This isn’t going to be as easy as Allura was making it seem, you know.” Kai was down on the ground with us now.
Declan stopped and set me down, the smile vanishing from his face. “No, it’s not,” he agreed. “We must get in undetected first.”
“That’s nearly impossible. There are five to six Keepers at every post.”
“Well, how did Allura escape undetected?” Declan questioned.
“She never told me,” Kai said. “I assume since you’ve been gone she’s gotten friendly with another Keeper.”
Declan shifted uncomfortably. Since Declan had been gone? “So, you and Allura were…” I let the sentence allude to whatever it was they were.
“No,” Declan denied immediately. “I mean… we were never anything official. We are friends. Have been since we were kids.”
“Oh.” There was a twinge that settled in the base of my heart. Was I jealous? It wasn’t as if either of them hadn’t had a life before me. I didn’t have the right to be jealous. I loved Cam.
Kai stepped in between Declan and me, moving the direction of the topic back to the issue at hand. “So, you understand what this means? Accepting to come with us?” he asked me.
“I suppose I have to do whatever it takes. Whatever gets thrown my way, I’ll have to roll with the punches.”
Kai laughed. “Roll with the punches. A line you want to hear from your future queen.”
“Kai,” Declan warned.
“It’s fine,” I amended. “I realize I’m not exactly queen material. I get that I’m not what you had in mind, but you’ll have to take me or leave me. You all seem to believe I’m your only hope.”
“Don’t get me wrong, Your Highness.” I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue as a crooked smile tugged at Kai’s mouth. “You’ll be able to take over the kingdom and rule the way it should be run. I have faith in that. I simply worry for your well-being.” The way he said that he worried about my well-being was sincere, as if I actually mattered to him. But what did I care of how Kai felt about my well-being? “I like your wings, by the way.”
I felt my cheeks flush and looked away.
“Kai and I will have to set up a strategy, some sort of plan to get by the boundary undetected, so it may be a few days before we leave,” Declan said.
“A few days,” I repeated to clarify. Surely, I hadn’t heard that correctly. “I still have like six months until my graduation. You want me to leave before my senior year is even over?”
They both looked at me as if I was slow.
“Did becoming Faylinn’s queen mean something different to you than it did to me because…” Kai peered at me in puzzlement.
Declan spoke, “Calliope, what Kai is trying to say is that if you have chosen Faylinn, why would finishing out the year be necessary?”
I shrugged tensely. “I don’t know. I just didn’t imagine leaving so soon.” I began to pace uncontrollably. “I still haven’t even told Lia what I am. How am I supposed to leave now? What is everyone going to say about me? Will they all think I disappeared? Oh, the rumors…” My head began to spin. It felt like I might faint if I didn’t sit down.
I noticed there was silence and it carried on after I stopped babbling. They hadn’t answered me yet and I knew that was a bad sign. When I peered up, they were looking to one another, as if trying to decide who was going to be the bearer of bad news. I really didn’t like their silent connection. I didn’t even ask. I simply glared, letting the fury burn through my eyes and they knew it was time to speak up.
“Fae magic works in ways that causes humans to eventually lose their memories of faeries,” Declan said. “It’s for our protection.”
“I would be erased from their memories?” I asked, incredulously.
“It’s a chance,” Kai said. “Out of sight, out of mind sort of thing.”
“You still have human blood running through you, so it might not have any affect. They haven’t had any issues with remembering you thus far,” Declan said.
“But it’s still possible,” I pressed.
They both nodded solemnly. At least they had the decency to appear apologetic.
“It’s possible,” Declan said quietly, measuring my reaction to see if this would be my breaking point. I thought that I’d already reached it, but they kept throwing curve balls.
I didn’t have much of a choice anymore. I was kidding myself into thinking I could have a normal life as a faery in this world. The physical changes were becoming too unnatural, and it was exhausting trying to constantly hide them.
“When do we leave?” I questioned, without inflection. I might as well get straight to the point. It was the only thing left I needed to know.
“I suppose we can leave when you feel comfortable, but I would urge you to make the decision soon. I’m not sure how much longer we will be safe here,” Declan cautioned.
I stopped and looked at him. “I thought you said Favner didn’t know I was still alive.”
Declan rested his hand on my shoulder, wanting to comfort me. His rough fingers brushed my bare shoulders. “I would like to believe that, yes, but I would still like to be sure, and the longer this drags out the more suspicious he could get. Allura isn’t the only one who can sense a change.”
“It’s Thanksgiving. I would at least like to have a few days with my family for the holiday before we go.” I said assertively.
“Is three days enough?” Declan asked.
I swallowed. “Three days?”
“The magic number,” Kai said wryly, trying to lighten the mood and failing miserably.
I sighed, surrendering. “Okay. I’ll be ready in three days.”
Without having much time, I had to make things right in my human life. It almost felt like a funeral, like I was dying and needed to get all of my affairs in order. I sort of was though, wasn’t I? Calliope Willow Holbrook wouldn’t exist in Walhalla. In three days it was very possible that I would cease to exist at all.
Being the Thanksgiving holiday, we had the rest of the week off from school. I tho
ught about calling Lia before dropping by, but I didn’t want to give her the option to turn me away. Lia deserved more from me. My dad was just going to have to deal with me revealing this to my closest friends. They were the only ones who had always been honest with me. They deserved the same in return from me. No matter the consequences.
I heaved a sigh, building up the nerve to proceed, before knocking on the front door of her house. It was about a minute before I heard the turning of the lock and Lia peeked her head around the door.
“Oh, are we friends now?” was her greeting.
“We’ve always been friends and you know it,” I replied even though I knew she had every reason to be angry with me.
“You haven’t really acted like it.” She stood straight with her hand on her hip.
“I know, but I promise I have a good reason.” I swallowed back my fears. This was Lia. She deserved the truth. She didn’t deserve to be kept in the dark. It was as if I needed to keep reminding myself.
“Are you going to tell me that good reason? Or are we just going to stand here and have a staring contest?”
“Can we go somewhere private?” I asked.
“Come in.” She sighed agitatedly and stepped aside, letting me pass into her entryway. “My parents aren’t home, but we can still go up to my room if you really need the privacy.”
I followed her up the stairs and prepped myself for what I would say. She closed the doors behind us and sat on her bed, waiting for me to explain. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t already told someone about this, so I didn’t know why it was so difficult to gain the courage to tell Lia now. Maybe it was because I knew how her brain worked. She was a scientist. She’d want to know how it was possible. She’d want to run tests and log data. And what I am wouldn’t be able to be explained logically. But this was Lia I was talking about. I could trust her. She wasn’t going to turn me into her next science experiment… or someone else’s, for that matter.
I hoped.
“Well…” she said impatiently.
I took a deep breath. “Lia, we’ve been friends for almost four years now. You know me. You know I’d never lie to you, right?” She nodded. “You know I’m not crazy. You know I would never do anything to purposefully hurt you or frighten you.”
“Callie, just spit it out already.”
“I’m not all human.” The words spewed out of my mouth. I pulled my hair out of the two braids on either side of my head. “A couple of months ago I learned something about myself.” I lifted my hair back into a ponytail, wrapping the rubber band around my golden curls to keep them back. My ears were completely visible now.
Lia didn’t shy away from me, didn’t scream. She simply stared, catatonic. What if I sent her into some psychotic break? I cautiously loosened the bustier and my buttery wings leisurely uncurled behind me from underneath my shirt.
“I’m a faery.”
Lia swallowed and shifted cautiously back on her bed, away from me. Her mouth fell open as her gaze took me in. I knew it wasn’t every day that your best friend revealed they were a faery, but I expected more of a reaction.
“Lia,” I prompted.
She blinked. “You’re. Not. Human,” she said slowly.
I shook my head. A few expressions flashed across her eyes, but she blinked them away before I could pinpoint her thoughts. She stared at me now with a trace of fear and I hated myself for it.
“Lia,” I hesitantly asked.
“Just give me a minute, okay?” Her chest rose rapidly while her eyes stayed glued on me, taking in my new appearance.
“Okay.” I stood still, letting her observe me. It felt strange letting someone stare at me, even if it was my best friend, knowing I was being judged. I did in fact feel like I was being looked at as a science experiment. What if she wanted to take a sample of my wings or take a blood sample? No. She wouldn’t do that. This was still Lia I was talking about. I waited patiently for about five minutes and then decided it was time to intervene.
“Lia, will you please say something?”
She rubbed her eyes, blinked, and cautiously took me in again. “You have wings,” she whispered as if saying it any louder would give me fangs or devil horns. “And pointed ears,” she observed a little louder. “Scientifically none of this makes sense, but there you are and here I am looking at you and… you’re real. You are a… faery?”
I nodded.
She folded her arms securely over her chest. “How?”
I pulled down my shirt the best I could without squishing my wings. I sat down next to her as carefully as I could, gauging her response and how uncomfortable with my proximity she was. When she didn’t shy away I explained everything from the beginning, starting with my super human hearing and the pull to the forest. Her mouth dropped at all the places mine did when I learned them. She didn't try to interrupt once. Her silence was all I needed to know she was completely enthralled with the explanation of my behavior, like I was retelling a bedtime story. When I was finished she looked at me skeptically.
“You hid all of that from me?” Her forehead ruffled. “Why?”
“Because I was scared. I’m scared Lia. Wouldn’t you be? It’s all a little crazy.”
“But I’m your best friend,” she said adamantly. “You should be able to tell me anything. You should have told me from the beginning. I would have been there for you. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. Every deep dark secret.”
I shifted, uncomfortable with her tone. I understood that she was really upset with me, but it didn’t make sense for her to be so frustrated.
“I’m sorry?” I tried.
“I forgive you,” she sighed, looking me up and down, still examining me. Her eyes softened when she peered at my wings. “Can I touch them?”
I chuckled. “I guess.”
Her hand reached behind me and gently stroked my wing like you would rub a flower petal between a couple fingers. A small warm smile appeared on her lips. “They’re so smooth… like a rose petal.”
“Yeah,” I laughed lightly.
She sat back and sighed again. “Will you give me a minute?”
My brow crossed and I nodded. She got up from her bed and left her room, opening and closing the door behind her. She stayed away for about a minute before coming back in. I watched her linger in the doorway as I remained in the same spot on her bed.
“Lia?” I asked calmly.
“Just making sure you’re still there and not a figment of my imagination or a dream.” She closed the door behind her and sat back down on the bed. Her eyes lit up now. “So, tell me more about Kai and Declan. Are they hot?”
I rolled my eyes because, of course, that would be the next topic for discussion, but I said, “Unbelievably so.”
“You like one of them, don't you?” she pried.
“Like them. As in like, like? No, no,” I denied. Since the night that I overheard them, I tried to banish their words of affection for me because it wasn’t possible anyway. There had been more important things to worry about. From day one they had been my mentors. My mind focused on them as separate individuals, my friends. Declan was kind and thoughtful, always willing to guide me. Kai, though maddening, was confident and witty, a silent pillar of strength that I could rely on. They had definitely sparked something inside of me, but it was pointless. We could never be anything anyway. “No, they are just my friends.”
“Liar.”
“I mean, sure they’re good guys. They’re brave and, yes, attractive and they watch out for me, but…” Did I care for them? Yeah, sure. I cared about what happened to them. Did I think about them in a deeper sense? I didn’t know. My feelings for them were so foreign. I’d only loved one person in my entire life and that was Cameron.
“They have protected you for years. That’s commitment,” she said.
“Well, Declan has. He has out of guilt. He was supposed to kill me,” I reminded her. “Kai didn’t come until just recently.”
Lia didn?
??t speak; she was lost again, taking in my appearance. “Now that I see it all together, your ears, your wings, your eyes… you’re incredible.”
I bowed my head, embarrassed by her scrutiny. I swallowed.
“This is going to take me a while to get used to.”
I sighed in glorious relief. “I understand completely.”
The only bit I hadn’t tacked on yet was that I was going to Faylinn to stay. “Lia,” I prompted for her to look me in the eyes, so I could get her full attention again.
When her eyes met mine and I didn’t speak, she filled the silence. “What?”
I took a deep breath. “You remember the part where I mentioned that I’m sort of the next in line to rule Faylinn?”
I didn’t need to explain. It clicked before I could even say it. “You’re going to leave, aren’t you?”
“Faylinn is where I belong now.”
Her gaze softened, her eyes tilted down, forlorn. “When do you leave?”
“Friday.”
“What?” Her cheeks flushed red. “That soon? What about the rest of the school year? And graduation? And your family? Can’t you wait a little longer?”
I shook my head. “I can’t. It’s important that I leave soon.”
“Matt will be home for New Year’s,” she said hastily. “He’ll want to see you. You have to at least say goodbye to him. Wait until January to go.”
“Lia, I can’t. I have to go now. There’s a… situation in Faylinn with the king there now. I have to go and help fix it.”
“What kind of situation? It can’t possibly be something that can’t wait if you’ve already waited this long.”
“It’s not that simple, Lia.”
“So simplify it,” she pressed, troubled.
“Lia…”
She took a deep breath, calming herself down. “I’m sorry. I just can’t stand the thought of you missing everything.”
I clenched my jaw, fighting back the tears. “I know.”
She was silent for a moment and her lip quivered. “Will I ever see you again?”
Declan and Kai’s most recent revelation echoed through my thoughts. Humans tend to eventually forget us for our protection. “I hope so,” I said, fighting the urge to cry.
Water built up inside her eyes. “Have you told Cameron yet?”
I could only shake my head. I couldn’t think about saying goodbye to him yet. Two days. I still had two days to think about how to tell him. Plus it was Thanksgiving. I couldn’t possibly bother him and his dad during the holiday. I imagine they’d probably end up at his grandparents anyway. His dad could barely make macaroni and cheese.
“What are you going to do about Cameron?” Lia looked at me sympathetically and began to shake her head. “He’s going to have a hard time with this, Callie.” Her words told me what I already knew.
“He’ll be fine,” I amended. He had Isla now. I wasn’t someone he relied on anymore. If anything, I relied on him. This would be harder for me than him.
She shook her head resolutely. “Calliope, you’ve been denying he would come around for so long that you’ve grown blind. This will tear him apart. Is he not a factor in your decision at all?”
“Of course he is,” I insisted. “I’m not taking this decision lightly, Lia. I’ve been debating this for weeks. Aside from my family he’s the one thing holding me back, but I can’t let him dictate my life anymore. I have more important things at stake now than my love life.”
“Losing you will kill him,” she said softly, as if she was trying to hurt me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, tears streamed down my cheeks. “Thanks for that.”
“He’s already lost him mom. You’re the closest thing he has to family aside from his workaholic dad. Did you ever think of that?”
I shook my head stubbornly and covered my ears. “Why are you being so cruel, Lia? Please stop.”
Lia reached over and took my hands. “I’m just preparing you, Callie,” she said. “I want you think thoroughly about every possible aspect. You think you don’t matter to us. I see in your eyes the duty you already feel for this Faylinn place, but we, humans, will feel a part of us missing for the rest of our lives.”
If you even remember me when I’m gone.