Blank.
He was in the bed. Curling up he sought safety in darkness. He would never escape.
8
Lose Control
Axel sat up slowly; he had a restless night and he was a little upset that he wouldn’t see Iris today. Her light eased his pain. She was wild, free and everything he wanted. There was something about her and he gravitated towards it. She was something new and desirable. Mother sat to his right. She’d fallen asleep at his bedside. She always knew when something happened between him and father. It didn’t matter how much he tried to hide it—she knew. He grunted at the sharp pain in his stomach, it was still store. He swore under his breath when he saw she’d awaken. He didn’t mean to wake her.
“Bumblebee.” Her words were a simple whisper in the silent air. It was a nickname she gave him when he was there. Bees where his favorite insect even though he got stung. It wasn’t his fault that he desired to zoom like bees, they had needles for butts—it was all very grand for a three-year-old.
“Mother, you shouldn’t be here. I want you to get your rest. Then we can take our walks again.” His mother had a heart condition and he hated talking about it. There were only two surgeons in the country who could perform the surgery, but it didn’t guarantee she’d survive. Axel knew they were well off, but he saw the stress it caused father; and the medical bills were on the rise. He wondered if father felt suffocated, mother wasn’t the only person with issues. Thinking about mother’s condition made him nervous. Her chances for survival decreased every day and her will to live—it frightened him to his very core. His mother always knew when he and father got into an argument, but she was oblivious to everything else and he wanted to keep it that way. He wanted her to focus on healing. Axel didn’t want to think about the dark place he would go. Its inky tendrils waited hungrily for something to devour. He couldn’t give in to it. He smiled when mother reached out tentatively and ran her thumb across his brow.
He felt a shift and sank gratefully into her embrace. His mommy was loving and would always protect him.
“Bumblebee?”
“Yes, mommy.”
“Would you tell me if something was wrong? It hurts mommy when you’re sad.”
“I promise.” He wouldn’t keep anything from Mommy if it made her sad. He like to see his mommy happy. He grinned happily once he saw she was satisfied with his answer. “You are my world honey. Mommy loves you.” He laid his head in her lap while she stroked his hair. They would get through this together.
***
Iris walked the halls, she felt like everyone was watching her and the feeling unsettled her. She was the runt of the pack surrounded by wolves who wanted nothing but to see her fall. A frown marred her pretty face when she noted an unfamiliar female approaching her. She felt her hackles rise; after snapping earlier at Crystal she didn’t feel very trusting now. Things with Axel seemed off, and she still couldn’t shake the feeling that she was the main attraction at a freak show. Iris held the retort that threaten to spill from her lips when the girl’s steps fell in line with her own.
“Did you hear?” she asked. Iris continued walking hoping the girl got the hint. She sighed internally as the girl continued. “Axel and Brad got into a fight.” Iris didn’t spare the girl a glance, she didn’t understand what this had to do with her.
“Word is the fight was over you.” The girl said stopping Iris in her tracks by standing in front of her. Iris watched her with a blank expression, the girl was waiting for her to give something away but she wouldn’t give anything away. She probably was one of Crystal’s lackeys anyway.
“Iri! I’ve been looking all over for you,” Natasha said running up to her. She gave the brunette who held Iris up a cool glance.
“Becky,” Natasha said coolly. Iris watched in surprise as the girl Becky flushed before taking off.
“What the hell was that about?” Iris asked.
“You alright?” Natasha shot off cutting her off. Iris wondered if she purposely changed the topic or if she was concerned about her. She did act out of character. There was so much going on, her emotions were running rampant between Axel and Cheese.
Why am I so conflicted? I mean they’re both hot.
“Yeah, I was just fed up with her crap. I don’t even know why I wasted my time with her,” she griped. She knew why. She did it for her mother. Crystal and her friends were the kind of friends her mother would expect her to bring home.
“I only stuck around for you. You should’ve seen her face after you walked away. It was hilarious,” they both giggled exiting the school. “Well you want a ride home?” Natasha asked her heading towards her car. It wasn’t the first time she offered and Iris always rejected the idea. She was still terrified of the possibility that everyone she called a friend would use her for money and exploit her. It happened to the rich and famous all the time. People always called them snobbish and snotty when they kept to themselves and within their social circle. They did it because it was safe. You wouldn’t have to worry about someone who’s just as wealthy as you, using you for money. They had their own.
“Thanks, but you know my ride is on its way. I’m good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Have it your way. Axel is a good guy. Different but good.” Iris frowned after Natasha’s retreating form. Why would she say he was different? It didn’t sound good when she said it. Was she trying to warn her about something? She climbed into the vehicle when Ryan pulled up. He was a life saver; he never drove anything ostentatious always taking her feelings into account. He was so thoughtful of her. She climbed into the Ford fusion and looked up in surprise. Chester was stretched out in the back seat. He reached over and dragged her into the vehicle. She giggled falling across the seat into his lap.
“Cheese what are you doing?”
“I’ve been in the studio all day and I’m bored. You left me. You should come with me. You would have so much fun. You could come on tour with me.” Iris fought the flush that started in the pit of her stomach and worked its way up; clearly she was a boiling pot with the lid on ready to explode. He was always jesting with her. She still couldn’t stop the dramatic thump in her chest. Her heart wouldn’t be able to handle it. She was simple and plain. She was just Iris.
Chester watched the blushing girl and he groan. He was feeling stiff and in more than one places. The blushing girl didn’t help matters. She was so beautiful and she didn’t see it. He would give anything to keep her by his side. She was the one constant never changing. “No hug for me?” He watched as she mumbled before flinging herself in his arms. It was where she belonged. He sighed blissfully when she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Her honey color eyes were beautiful. They were so warm, the brown so light that they looked golden, long lashes fanned her eyes and he smiled. There was no mascara or anything or her face. She always complained that it made her eyes stick. He chuckled at her. She hated makeup to her mother’s horror. He thought she was perfect. There were other qualities she couldn’t hide no matter how hard she tried, like her ample breasts and shapely hips.
“How was your day?”
“Pretty boring. Nothing spectacular or anything happened,” her mind immediately flashed back to Axel and the comments Becky made. Was it true? Why would he be fighting? His blues eyes flashed in her mind. Then she gazed into Chester’s violet ones. God, she was so screwed.
When they arrived, her mother was at the entrance waving and calling for her. Iris wanted to become a bug, and scurry away into the darkness forgotten and alone. “I’m sure it’s not that bad.” Chester laughed, noting her reaction.
“Jean-Pierre is here. He wanted you to walk in one of his shows Iris! How wonderful!”
“Then again maybe it is. See ya. I’ll be in the studio.” Iris stood after his retreating form thunderstruck. Why would he leave her?
Traitor! Sellout! You hot hot betrayer. Damn you!
She stood looking after him forlornly as he escaped. If he wanted to take her with him,
this was the perfect time to do it. She remained the sole speck on the glass before it was obliterated by a wet paper-towel driven repeatedly into her with circular motions until she no longer existed. This was probably just an excuse for Jean-Pierre to feel her up. She thought they liked their models taller and skinner.
“Hi honey,” her mother said pulling her into a hug. She shot daggers at Jean-Pierre who stood behind her mother.
What a pig.
She entered the house with her mother and set her things down.
“Well, I leave you two to it. I told Angelo that you’ll be using a portion of the studio to do your work. He’s at the gallery right now.”
“Perfect. I’ll be able to work in peace.” Iris shivered and it wasn’t a good thing. Jean-Pierre made her nervous. Why was a twenty-four-year-old man interested in a seventeen-year-old girl like her anyway?
Once they were alone in her dad’s studio she sneered at him. “I know what you’re up too, and it’s not happening? Trying to get me alone and make your move.”
“Why don’t you call me Jean,” he whispered in her ear. The sound reverberated in her ear making her shiver. She held her breath and attempted to back away, but he moved closer to her.
“It seems I’m not the only one with sinful thoughts parading around in their mind.”
Iris bit her lip. She was afraid it was going to bleed. Her fist remained tight at her sides. Jean-Pierre was dangerous and his eyes glittered mysteriously. “I’ll be your lip. I won’t cry. You can bite me.” He whispered seductively into the air. Iris body grew warm; he was experienced mature and everything she wasn’t. She wanted to return to the safety of Chester’s arms.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to walk in your show.” She gasped.
Dear god, don’t let me sound needy. This is not happening. He’s a perve!
“Why not!” he exclaimed. “You are perfect!” he said his hands going to her hips. Iris felt like she been touch by fire. It was such an intimate gesture. She held still completely out of her element. His hands travelled up her sides; his touch feathery. Iris hadn’t realized her breathing had been coming in short pants. He’d woven a spell. She stood before Asmodeus, vulnerable and terrified of his power. The ring of her phone broke the spell. Her hand tremored as she placed the phone to her ear.
“Are you done yet Iri?”
“Chester,” she sighed happily into the phone. She backed away slowly away from Jean-Pierre and once she was near the door she fled. She didn’t know why her traitorous body responded to him. What was wrong with her? She smiled joyously when she spotted Cheese on her bed looking at his phone. His blond hair styled messily on his head. When he turned those violet eyes on her all thoughts of Jean-Pierre were obliterated from her mind. She climbed into bed and snuggled with him.
“Are going to do it?”
“No, fashion isn’t really my thing. Thanks for deserting me by the way.” He howled and rolled away. “That hurt Iri.”
“Serves you right for leaving me,” she huffed out. He smiled as they both lay face to face staring deeply into each other eyes, their legs intertwined.
“I will never leave you,” he whispered. Iris smiled at his declaration and knew everything would be okay.
9
Innocent Rose
Iris waved at Chester dejectedly before going to school. She wished his declaration of never leaving her side would mean more, but they were only friends. She remained the prime specimen in a lab, people continued to stare and whisper. Did something else happen that she wasn’t aware of? Suddenly, one of the people in question walked up to her. She looked at him perplexed.
“Sorry, didn’t know you and Axel were dating. Be careful, he’s dangerous you know.”
She frowned further. What was Brad a jock from the football team doing talking to her? Even though she was ranked among the popular she remained in her own class. She wanted to rebut him, but she bit her tongue. Why would she please any of them? She ignored him and continued to her next class.
“See ya round, innocent rose.” He chuckled as he walked away. Iris eyes widen for a moment. Was that what this was about? Her virginity? This was clearly a testosterone filled issue. It had nothing to do with her. She shook his comment off and continued to her class. Settling into her seat, it felt strange to not have Axel sitting behind her. Oddly class had been boring, Natasha sat to her left rocking in her desk. The sounds she made were in sync with the ticking of the clock. She wondered what Axel was doing and the reasoning behind his absence in school. She hoped it didn’t have anything to do with his mother being sick. He held up his end of the bargain, she would have to give him her number.
“Hello anyone there?”
“Huh?” she looked up at Natasha. “I wondered what’s got you spacing out.”
“I was just think about Axel.”
“Really?”
“No Natasha not like that. I just, oh I don’t know. He wasn’t in class and Brad said something pretty weird to me.”
“What did he say?”
“He called me innocent rose.”
“Well, from the sounds of it. Axel kicked as his butt. He was banged up pretty bad. You know, if you want to see him that bad he doesn’t live too far from the school. Here’s his address.” Natasha said passing a piece of paper to her. Iris looked at her in surprise. She didn’t know Tasha knew him.
“Our parents are friends,” she said answering her unspoken question. She watched her friend retreat down the hall. Why was everyone acting so strange? She wondered if there was anything in the lunch meat.
Iris found herself in front of a nice two story two-car garaged home. It was the type of home you’d expect to see in suburbia middle class America. The red brick told of its traditional style, and the bushes were trimmed meticulously. It was a nice colonial styled home. She stood facing the door with her hand raised and wondered why she was even here. She was just here to drop off Axel’s homework and hightail it back home. She glanced behind her. She had Ryan parked the car a couple of blocks away from the house.
“I don’t even know what I’m doing here,” she said aloud running her hands through her hair.
Iris stood at the formidable mountain. Its jagged cliff sides seemed imposing and dared her to take a step closer. She moved to take a step, suddenly loose boulders came down the mountain bringing her to a halt. She swallowed her nervousness and screeched when a hand fell on her shoulder.
“What are you doing here?”
“Axel,” she whispered staring into his blue eyes. Today they seemed darker and much more imposing. Why was she here? She held her breath as he circled her reminding her of a predator right before it pounced tearing into the flesh of its prey. “What are you doing her little swan?”
She looked on bewildered that was a new name, one he’d never used before. She chewed her lip nervously. She was standing trial, those who judged sat at tall and threatening podiums watching her squirm like a worm from a bird.
“Homework?” she continued to watch him as he circled her. Why did he pace around like the wild things of the amazon? She gulped nervously. This wasn’t the same shy boy from before. She watched as indecision flickered behind his eyes, he grabbed her hand and she followed him into the unknown.
She watched Axel as he stretched out on the bench in the empty park. The sun would be setting soon and she knew she was going to have a lot of answering to do once she made it home. For some strange reason, she couldn’t shake Axel, he fascinated her. His hair was unkempt on his head, he wore a dark leather jacket, jeans and boots. It was a complete different look than what she was accustomed to seeing. He had the whole rebel thing going on.
“So are you going to just stand there and look at my pretty face all day?” Iris didn’t like him when he was this way, it reminded her of a certain someone who couldn’t keep his hands to himself.
“Who said anything about your face being pretty?” She huffed out crossing her arms. He turned on his side facing her. ?
??Hmm, this is new. You don’t think I’m attractive?”
Iris stared into his beautiful blue eyes but a pair of violet ones flashed in her mind. “I’ve seen better, I was just here to check on you. You missed class today.” She said turning on her heel. She needed to get back. The moment she turned her back, she became the lamb exposing her vulnerability to the wicked wolf who waited to devour her.
She inhaled sharply as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back into his chest.
“I like you. You’re something else, something different, and something new.” Iris turned in his arms and gently shoved his chest. “What’s with you? I never know what I’m getting.” She said frustrated. She watched confused as he gave her a devious smirk. “I’ll let you in on a little secret.”
Iris held her breath. She wanted to know.
“They call me Jay.” Was that it? What was so secretive about that? It was nothing but a nickname. It didn’t seem like anything special. She shrugged her shoulders at him.
“Look I’ve got to go. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He took her by surprise when he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. His lips were on hers and when he bit down on her bottom lip she snatched her face away.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” It didn’t matter whether she liked that kiss. It didn’t belong to him.
“I just thought I should satisfy that burning curiosity of yours.”
“You are such a bastard,” she said storming away from him. She heard his dark chuckle behind her. What was wrong with him?