“Crawl up from the bottom again, Anya.”
I crawled up the bed and as I did it, the thought came to me. I didn’t know if I should, if I was even allowed. But I did it anyway.
So when I got to him, I moved between his legs but stopped, bent and kissed his flat abs. Then I moved up and stopped to kiss his chest. Then up his body until my face was to his neck and I kissed him there, smelling his cologne.
I knew my decision was right when his arms closed around me and his thighs pressed in, imprisoning me.
“My baby, so fuckin’ sweet,” he muttered.
I rested my head on his shoulder.
One of his arms shifted down and his hand cupped one of the cheeks of my behind gently.
“It hurt?” he whispered.
“Tender,” I whispered back.
“First time, I went gentle.”
Oh God. That was gentle?
“You fuck up that big again, Anya, you’ll be callin’ off work and spendin’ a week in my bed to recover.”
“Knight –”
His arms gave me a squeeze.
“Came hard, feel good, do not piss me off.”
I fell silent.
“You learn your lesson?”
I hoped so.
I nodded against his shoulder.
His arms gave me a squeeze as his fingers at my behind dug in gently.
Then he said quietly, “I believe you but I wanna make it clear. Shit might go down between us that’ll make this go bad. You don’t leave until we both know there’s nothin’ we can do to retrieve what we had. And if you believe that and I disagree, then you talk to me before you leave me. You might hear fucked up shit about me from a variety of sources. But you talk to me before you react. I will confirm or deny, I will be honest and last, I will explain. If it’s shit I don’t want you to know yet, I’ll explain that too and you’ll wait until I’m ready. You feel you can’t, then, babe, you still fuckin’ talk… to… me before you leave me.”
I nodded against his shoulder again.
Knight kept talking.
“You can believe about ten percent of anything that comes outta Nick’s mouth. This will not be somethin’ you need to concern yourself with because you will never see him again. If the impossible happens and you do, I don’t care if you’re walkin’ down the street, he’s across the street from you and a half block up, you fuckin’ call me. Get me?”
Another nod.
More from Knight.
“I do not give charity fucks. I don’t know what he said to you but honest to Christ, I don’t even know what that is. Bottom line, no one, Anya and when I say that,” his arms and hand gave me another squeeze, “I mean no one has had my time, my attention and my cock the way you do. And you don’t have those because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. You have that because you’re everything that’s you. Somethin’ in you made it easy to believe the bullshit Nick fed you. We gotta work that out, babe, and with that project, I’m all in. But there is no… fuckin’… way a woman like you, not just one who looks like you, but a woman like you should ever think in a million fuckin’ years she’s a charity case. You need to understand, baby, that in this scenario right here in this bed no matter whose ass is tender, I’m the lucky one. You with me?”
At the word “lucky” my head jerked up and I stared at his shadowed face.
“What?” I breathed.
“You aren’t with me,” he muttered.
“Are you serious?”
“Are you comfortable with the fact that my boys roughed up your landlord?”
My body stilled and I whispered, “Honey –”
“Answer me, babe, are you comfortable with that?”
“Can we –?”
His hand came to my jaw and his arm around me got tight, pulling me closer and he whispered, “Anya, babe, answer me.”
“No,” I blurted.
“But you’re settin’ it aside because you’re drawn to me and I’m makin’ you happy,” he surmised.
“Yes.”
“Then babe, I’m the lucky one because with you, I’m not settin’ shit aside. And with me, I think you already get without really knowin’ that you always will.”
My hand slid up his chest and I whispered, “Honey, let’s not talk about this.”
“Bury your head, baby, please, God, do it. But straight up, you give me good, normal and clean and you do it knowin’ you’ll never get that back. I’ll take that. Fuck, yeah, I’ll take that. But I’ll only take it knowin’ somewhere inside you, you get what you’re givin’ to me and you understand it’ll never be returned.”
“You’re scaring me again, Knight.”
“Enough to ask me to leave?”
“No,” I whispered and his hand clenched my jaw.
“Christ, my baby,” he whispered.
I didn’t want to talk about this anymore so I changed the subject.
“I’m sorry I believed Nick,” I said softly.
“You believin’ him didn’t say shit about me. It said shit about how you feel about you. We’ll work on that.”
God, he was scary, scary sweet and I was thinking scary smart too.
“Bet I bought myself a bad girl,” he muttered and I blinked.
“Pardon?”
“Baby, how many times did you come on my face?”
I bit my lip.
Then I shared quietly, “I lost track.”
Knight burst out laughing, both is arms closing tight around me as he shifted us down in bed and rolled me to my back, him at my side.
When he stopped laughing, his hand slid up to curl around my neck, palm at my throat.
“You gonna be a bad girl?” he whispered.
“I haven’t decided,” I whispered back and his hand spasmed.
Then he asked, sounding appalled, “I hurt you?”
“Uh… yeah, Knight. You spanked me.”
“Too hard?”
“Um…”
“That you couldn’t stand the pain, Anya, that it didn’t feel good even as it felt bad. That kinda too hard, babe. I didn’t get that from you, not even close. When I was done, you were soaked.”
“Well that’s because, um… the answer’s no. If that’s too hard then it wasn’t. Not even close.”
His hand relaxed as did his body.
God, how could this guy have just spanked me, my bottom still felt warm and tender and yet at the same time he was unbelievably sweet?
“We need a safe word,” he muttered.
“Probably,” I muttered back.
“No, babe, we do. We should have worked that out before but I’ve been goin’ easy on you, payin’ attention, not pushin’ too hard. Didn’t think we’d be here this quick. I’ll think about it, give it to you before I take you again.”
Easy on me.
Something, maybe, to look forward to.
“Okay,” I said softly.
At my word, he gave me a squeeze before he shifted, yanking the covers out from under us, flicking them over us then settling onto his back. He rolled me and tucked me into his side.
Then he ordered, “Sleep, baby.”
“Okay, Knight.”
I settled in. Knight’s arm around me drew me closer then relaxed. My arm snaked across his flat belly, curled around and I held on.
Then I called, “Knight?”
“Yeah, babe.”
I bit my lip.
“Babe?”
I stopped biting my lip.
Then I whispered, “Uh… you should probably prepare for me being bad, um… occasionally.”
Knight went still for a moment before both his arms locked around me tight and he burst out laughing.
* * * * *
I turned the corner to Knight’s study.
Nick was crouched at the safe. It was open. He was rifling through it.
I opened my mouth to say something when his head turned to me.
Then he surged out of his crouch, flying through t
he air toward me, his entire head had changed from Nick to a wide, gaping mouth filled with rows and rows of sharp, lethal teeth.
* * * * *
I jerked awake and, still held close to Knight’s side but still half asleep and feeling his arm around me as a prison, I yanked away from it on a roll.
“What the fuck, babe?” His drowsy, deep, rough voice came at me and I froze.
Torso up and on my ass in the bed, I lifted my knees, soles of my feet to the bed and put my elbows to them, head to my hands and took in a deep breath.
Knight’s hand curled around my wrist.
“Anya?” he said softly.
“Bad dream,” I whispered.
“Jesus, it’d have to be,” he muttered, pulling gently at my wrist but my head came up. My hand dropped to the bed taking his with it and I looked to his shadowy head.
“Nick was trying to get in your safe,” I announced and I felt as well as saw his body go rock-solid.
“What?” he whispered, that vibrating, angry heat starting to emanate.
“He didn’t open it or not that I know of. I heard him come in and got to him pretty quickly because I thought he was you. I turned the corner to your study and he was crouched at your safe. It wasn’t opened. He moved away from it, shared his tale of treachery, I got his keys then he took off. With, um… everything that happened when you got here, I forgot to tell you.” I twisted my wrist dislodging his hand but finding it and curling mine around. “I’m sorry, honey. I totally forgot.”
His hand squeezed mine and tugged as he said, “Don’t worry about it, baby. I’ll deal with Nick.”
I nodded, felt the vibrations had stopped, the blaze retreating. I let him pull me down to him and arrange me pressed to his side again, held close.
I pulled in a deep breath then snaked my arm around his gut. Then I pulled in another one and forced my body to relax against his.
His hand at my hip gave me a gentle squeeze and he murmured, “That dream, was it about Nick?”
“He was crouched by your safe,” I whispered. “Then he came at me, flying through the air and his entire head had become a mouth full of teeth.”
“Fuckin’ hell,” I muttered.
“Yeah,” I agreed quietly, pressed deeper into his side and his arm got tight around me.
“When was he there?”
“Around ten fifteen.”
“Doorman gets off at ten. Fuckin’ motherfucker, Nick,” he muttered. Then, “I’ll change the locks. He came when no doorman was on. They haven’t changed the door code since he left. I’ll tell Spin. He’ll deal with the code change. Nick won’t be able to get into my place starting tomorrow. He won’t be able to access the building in a few days. Yeah?”
“Yeah, honey.”
“Shits me he got to you at all much less when I wasn’t there.”
“He didn’t expect to see me.”
“I’ll bet he didn’t, fuckin’ motherfucker.” Knight was muttering again.
“I dream a lot, Knight. They’re not all good. I’m used to it. It’s okay. Nick’s not a fun guy to be around but, really, I’m okay.”
“Shits me he got to you at all much less when I wasn’t there, Anya, no matter if you’re okay or not. It’s fuckin’ five thirty in the morning. You had a crazy-ass dream. You’re freaked. He filled your head with garbage. And you’re not with me to have any of that shit happen to you.”
“You can’t cushion me from the entire world, Knight.”
“I can try.”
My stomach dropped.
“I’ll take measures,” he went on like he didn’t just rock my world. “You feel safer here, we do your bed for a while. Go back to mine this weekend when the code’s changed. Yeah?”
“Okay, honey,” I agreed quietly.
“Now you got an hour to sleep. You gonna be able to do that?”
“Yeah.”
“Then do it.”
I smiled against his shoulder.
Then I whispered, “Okay.”
Knight’s arm gave me a squeeze.
I felt my belly warm, that tingle gliding up and down my spine, over my scalp, all along my skin until it felt like it was going to consume me.
And I didn’t mind.
Not even a little bit.
It felt great.
Chapter Eleven
The Real You
“Tight, Anya.”
After his soft words sounded against the skin of my neck, my limbs around Knight squeezed and I stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, nose stinging, heart beating hard.
It was Sunday morning and Knight just made love to me.
Made.
Love.
To.
Me.
Not bossy, not dirty, not an exercise in control. I got to touch, taste, lick, do what I wanted to do and so did he (as usual). It was slow, lazy, gentle.
And beautiful.
Honestly, I didn’t know he had that in him. He told me he could do normal, gentle. But after a week of what we’d had, I didn’t really think about it. I expected since I was giving it to him the way he liked, he’d take advantage of it.
And he did.
But he woke up in a different mood that morning and gave it to me sweet, letting me give it back. I loved it and from what I could tell, he did too.
This meant I had it all from Knight, at least in bed. Scary, crazy, hot. Adventurous. Consuming. Excruciating. Exciting. Unexpected. Slow. Lazy. Gentle. Sweet.
Never in my life, any aspect of it, had I had it all or even expected to.
Now, I did and to say it moved me was an understatement.
Knight quit nuzzling my neck with his nose and lips and his head came up.
My eyes went to his.
His looked into mine a quarter of a second and he whispered, “Baby, what?”
“You want a surprise?” I whispered back, not about to tell him what. Not then. Maybe later.
Hopefully it would be later after it stayed good in a way I knew it always would be.
He held my eyes for long moments and I knew he did it coming to a decision.
Then he came to it.
“Yeah,” he answered, thankfully and it had to be said thoughtfully letting it slide.
“I called my Sunday clients, all of them. Moved them. Now my Sundays are free.”
His eyes went hooded and, seriously, that was a good look.
“So you’re mine all day,” he said softly.
“Every Sunday,” I replied just as softly.
One side of his lips curved up and he kept talking softly when he said, “Thank you, baby.”
He wanted that. Me. All day Sunday.
God.
“You’re welcome, honey.”
His hand came up and his fingertips trailed along the apple of my cheek as he muttered, “Fuck, my baby’s sweet.”
So was my Daddy.
“I have another surprise,” I announced and his eyes went from his fingers now at my temple to mine.
“Yeah?”
“Anya Gage’s World Famous Toasted Almond Pancakes with Almond Infused Maple Syrup. I brought all the stuff over last night.”
That got me a full grin. “World famous?”
I grinned back. “Totally.”
His eyes went to my mouth, his pupils dilated then they came back to mine.
“My shirt, no underwear while you make them.”
Back to bossy.
My womb convulsed.
“Okay, Daddy,” I whispered and his hips between mine pressed in.
“Fuck, how did this happen?” he muttered like he was talking to himself, his eyes moving over my face.
“What?”
He looked back into my eyes. “You’re perfect, baby.”
I blinked.
Then I whispered, “Knight –”
“No, Anya, no fucked up shit outta that sweet mouth. I’m not gonna listen to it and I’ll work my balls off, I don’t care if it takes decades, to make you stop even thinkin’ it
. Instead, you gotta know that every second I spend with you it becomes more and more clear you were made for me. A gift I don’t deserve, didn’t earn but I’m not giving it back.”
My nose started stinging again and I demanded quietly, “Stop it.”
“Not gonna do that, Anya. Not ever. Not until you get it, baby.”
“Girls, we’re like this,” I explained quickly in an effort to move us off this topic. “Except for girls like Sandrine who, from her Dad on up, had men spoiling her rotten and convincing her she’s precious, which, as you know, causes its own issues, we spend hours convincing ourselves we’re faulty. Even Vivica, who’s totally awesome and mostly knows that, she’s also totally ambitious and driven to be perfect and create the perfect life. You just have to roll with it.”
“Bullshit,” he replied instantly and I blinked.
“Pardon?”
“Sandrine’s Dad knew what he was doin’. It’s Sandrine now who’s fucking up. You got a girl who’s worth it, you’re her Dad or you’re her Daddy, you spoil her rotten. You let her know she’s precious, not convince her of that shit, because it’s not about convincing. It’s about understanding it’s just fuckin’ true.”
Now I was blinking for a different reason. Rapidly.
“Seriously, Knight, stop it,” I whispered.
“Deep breathe. Control those tears. And I’ll let it go after I say this. We haven’t had the time to get into what Nick did to you and how you believed it so easily. Your aunt, she was negligent, which has the power to create wounds, and on top of that she was a cunt, which scores those wounds deep. You’re right, everyone should work to make a better life for themselves however they gotta do it. But that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t hope and expect good things to come their way. Random and unexpected. Regularly or infrequently. It doesn’t matter, good things happen just like bad. And it’s fucked up not to think you’ll get your share of those, babe. And even more fucked up that, when you do, you feel you don’t deserve them or they’re jacked in some way that reflects on you. Nick is an asshole but that doesn’t mean he isn’t smart. The way he’s smart is he’s observant. He notices shit. It’s a trait that could be put to good use and sometimes, he’s in the mood, he can use it that way. He’s also got a deep, fuckin’ mean streak and that’s what he works at. He saw you, he read you, he was pissed you were walkin’ to him from my bed when he wants you in his and he cut you, went straight in for the kill usin’ exactly what he knew would make you bleed. What you gotta get is, that’s his shit. You gotta turn that shit back on him and see he’s actin’ on spite. And he’s doin’ it because he wants the gift of you, cannot have it and it pisses him off. So what he did was a jacked up, nasty, twisted compliment. And you should have just smiled to yourself, crawled in my bed and waited for me to come home and show you the real you.”