“I guess you’re not.” He whispered.
He took out his phone and called some people, telling them what happened to Astrid.
They carried Bryan out on a stretcher. If he wasn’t unconscious, I would have hit him in the head once again. I can still taste bile in my mouth just by looking at him.
I tried to calm my nerves. I clenched my fists and I found that my knuckles were also bleeding slightly.
“You should let them attend to that.” John said to me.
I took a deep breath. “I will live. Not the first time I got into a fist fight.”
Finally, they brought out Astrid on a stretcher. She has an oxygen mask on her face.
“Who’s a relative?” One of the paramedics asked.
“I’m her boyfriend.” I replied, even before John could open his mouth.
“We’re bringing her to the hospital now.” The guy said.
“I’ll come with you.”
They let me ride with her in the ambulance. I was still high on adrenaline. I cannot calm down until I know that Astrid was going to be fine.
I looked at her limp body. I took her hand and kissed it. I cannot help the tears that are pouring from my eyes again.
God, I love her! I love her!
I always have! She was my life. She is my life. And now, I cannot believe that I came so close to losing her. And it’s all my fault.
Bryan would not have the guts to even come near her if he knew I was still protecting her. He must have known that we were having problems. He must have waited for me to drive away and then he saw an opportunity to attack Astrid.
When we reached the hospital, she was taken to the emergency room and I was asked to wait outside. I didn’t want to. But some nurses pushed me towards the waiting area.
“We will take good care of her, don’t worry.” Somebody said to me. It was a nurse, I think.
I was pacing back and forth, praying to God that she will be okay, that her fall didn’t cause any concussion or severe injury.
I shouldn’t have walked out on Astrid.
She was saying goodbye to me. She was wishing me happiness. I walked away thinking I only need to give her space for a while. And give myself some time to breathe… compose myself… before I say any more that will further decrease my chances of being with her.
No! I wasn’t saying goodbye to her at all. Never!
And I pray to God that I still have one chance to make it all right. To undo everything I did in the past few months. I didn’t want to lose my memories of her. And it wasn’t her fault that I did. But damn, she suffered the most! I made her suffer because I was afraid to face what I feel for her.
Adam arrived at the hospital, followed by John.
“Where is she?” Adam asked me.
“Inside.” I replied.
“Bryan did this?” Adam asked John. I don’t know why he didn’t ask me, I was the first one on the scene. John came a bit later.
Has Bryan not done enough to Astrid? He knocked up her cousin, her best friend. They stole Astrid’s dream wedding. They robbed Astrid of her faith in ‘ever afters’. They crushed her dignity and self-esteem.
I remembered their conversation before I came in. Bryan was so mad at Astrid because he waited too long for her. Yes. Bryan wanted Astrid so much but she wanted to wait until marriage. And that night I went to the wedding with Astrid… she shared herself with me. I was her first. And it was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. I was Astrid’s first… I was the only man in her life.
Dannie and Nicole came to the waiting area, a look of panic evident on their faces. Of course! They love Astrid to the core. Even John and Adam. They all cared for Astrid.
Dannie and Nicole were looking at me angrily and I know why. For the past months I have been hurting their friend and they haven’t forgiven me yet. The last time I saw them, they were all for me and Astrid. Now, if looks could kill, they would be responsible for my murder.
Just then, my head snapped up as a realization hit me. I stared at them closely.
“Dannie.” I said looking at Astrid’s semi-feminine friend.
“Nicole.” I said looking at Astrid’s girl best friend.
They stared back at me, equally dumbfounded. I’m sure I haven’t seen them since my accident, so there was no way in hell I should know who they were.
And how would I know that I was Astrid’s first… that I was the only man she’s ever been with?
Unless…
Now, maybe the adrenaline rush died down. I finally felt what my body has been telling me. My knuckles were painful, and I felt dizzy, like everything was spinning.
I sat down on the chair, holding my temples, trying my best not to scream from the pain. Everything was getting blurry.
“Nurse!” I heard somebody shout. I think it was Adam who first realized that something was happening to me.
And after that, there was only darkness.
Chapter Thirty-Five
WEDDING ALBUM:
A collection of the snapshots and pictures captured during the wedding day. The Wedding Album holds all the memories of the most wonderful day between a husband and a wife.
Ryder.
I have to meet her. The girl I spent half a day looking for around the city! I thought I will never see her again.
“I’ll cover the bar, guys!” I told my bartenders. I took my jacket off and grabbed the baseball cap of one of my staff and wore it on my head. “Borrow for a while okay?”
He looked at me like he thought I was high or something and then he nodded.
I watched her. She was alone. Now, I wish I knew some pick-up lines. Or I knew how to use them effectively! But so far the only things that I can remember hearing around were:
‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’
or
‘I lost my phone number, so can I have yours?’
and
‘If I say you have a wonderful body, will you hold it against me?’
They are so lame and corny! Who invents these things? And I doubt any of them are going to work on her. Damn! I am not good at this!
She ordered a margarita. I guess here’s my cue.
“The best margarita in town for the beautiful lady.” I said. Even I thought that sounds creepy! “Can you sign, Ma’am?”
She didn’t answer. She just stared at me. Her expression looked… I don’t know, star-struck or something. Hmmm… I guess she likes what she sees. That gave me the confidence I needed.
“Can you sign, Ma’am?” I repeated.
“Oh.” She said and she signed the tab. I can’t help but notice that her fingers were slightly shaking.
“Thank you.” She said.
“You’re welcome Madam.” I said. “Enjoy your drink. Just call me if you need anything else.” I said, grinning at her, flashing her my perfect set of teeth and the dimples on my cheeks. Flirting. Yes, I am definitely flirting with her, and she looked dumbfounded.
“And what name would I ask for?” She asked.
There! We’re getting somewhere.
“Ryder.” I replied.
“Alright. Thanks, Ryder.” She said.
I stood there for a while, waiting for her to tell me her name. But she only smiled at me and I realized that was the only reply I was going to get. She’s teasing me. Alright! Two can play this game.
“Alright. Perhaps when I bring you your next drink.” I said, and I winked at her.
I felt like a high school boy reeling with excitement. What is it about this woman that unnerves me? She got under my skin the minute I laid eyes on her. And I can’t forget the feel of her in my arms. Although I doubt that she recognizes me from the jewelry shop.
She was talking on the phone with her friends.
“Find me a straight guy!” She said loudly over the receiver.
I smirked. I couldn’t help smiling. What would she need a straight guy for? She can have her pick here at the bar. Doesn’t she know how beautiful she is
?
“You shouldn’t eavesdrop on other people’s conversation.” She said, not looking at me, but I know she’s talking to me.
I approached her. “I wouldn’t have, if your voice wasn’t that loud.”
“Oh sorry.” She said. “People talk loud on bars, you know. Well, you should know.”
“Yes, I know.” I grinned at her again. “So, what’s the quest for the straight guy for?”
“Not just a straight guy. But a straight guy who’s willing to do anything for a couple of grand.”
“You’re not doing porn, are you?” I asked, and God, I hope she says no.
“Oh my God! No!”
I sighed in relief.
“Now, I’m intrigued. What could a girl like you possibly need a straight guy for?”
And so, she told me the story of her life, with tears in her eyes.
For the life of me, I could not believe everything she told me. How can someone bear to hurt her? She looked so fragile, so vulnerable. She looked like she has so much light and fire inside her. How can somebody afford to put it out?
She wanted her pride back. She wanted to save her face. And I couldn’t believe what I was doing. I was agreeing to her plan, letting her think I was a bartender in need of extra cash. If I was not so touched by her breakup story, I would have laughed.
She wanted to bring a guy to the wedding who could pretend that he was smart and rich, wears an Armani suit and drives a very expensive car.
Harvard Degree, investments here and there. She’s inventing the man who will annihilate her ex-fiancé’s pride. She wants to redeem her dignity by showing up at the wedding with a man that is like a slap in the face to her ex, even if he was just pretending.
Well, that would be very easy for me. Because… basically, she wants me to pretend to be… well… ‘me’.
***
The feel of her lips on mine was… magic. It was like there were fireworks everywhere. All night, I felt myself drowning into our charade. I cannot get my hands off her. I hold her and kiss her, praying that this day never ends.
Her eyes sparkle when she looks at me. She erupts like a firecracker in my arms when I kiss her. She genuinely laughs at my jokes. She was not afraid to show me that she feels hurt and she needed me to hold her. She needed me to save her.
And she doesn’t even know who I was. She was parading me to her family, saying that I am the rich hotshot guy who owns a chain of restaurants in New York. She thought that was part of the act. I wonder how she’ll react if she finds out… that’s who I really am.
Here she is, kissing me, hugging me. Ryder, the bartender. And she didn’t care. It’s me she wants, regardless of what I am.
She was drowned and drunk on both the liquor and her grief. But I admire her. No one could go through all this pain and live to tell about it.
Then she started crying. She hugged me. And the next thing I knew, she was kissing me.
I didn’t want to take advantage of her. She was sad and drunk. But she’s a cannonball in my arms. I can feel her heat radiating to my skin. Her kisses are sending me over the edge. I tried to hold on to my last string of control. But when she pushed me on the bed and mounted me, I lost it! I was only human, and my body craves this woman like a drug.
I kissed her. She melted in my arms. She was whispering my name over and over and it was the sweetest sound I have ever heard in my life.
We lost our clothes. I was lost in ecstasy. And when I went inside her, she squirmed in pain. I felt a tearing sensation. Damn! No wonder she was too tight. I leaned down and kissed her. She was crying.
“I’m sorry, love.” I said to her. But I know I wasn’t! This is probably the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. She was a virgin. She was mine first. I was the only one. And I knew from that moment on, I intend to keep it that way…
***
I just got back to Malibu, and my manager told me that a woman was looking for me. I was not really interested. There was only one woman I was interested in and I’m getting impatient. I want her to get over her past, her grief. I want her to fulfill her promises so I can finally work my way in to her life. I want her to start fresh, fix herself and then open herself up to trusting another man again. And I wanted to be that man. I want her to know the real me.
She wanted me. I know she did. Her eyes had a certain gleam when she stared up at me. She blushed at the simplest touch of my skin against hers and she went mindless with me that night. And she thought I was a bartender, desperate enough for money that I took the job of pretending to be her boyfriend for a night. But still she wanted me.
This was the woman I was looking for my entire life! A woman who would want me for me… not for my money. It’s a good bonus that she’s sweet, beautiful, and her touch makes me explode.
I cannot wait to pay Astrid Jacobson a visit.
“Sir…” My bar manager said. “This woman was asking for you a couple of days ago. She left a message.”
I didn’t even look up from the papers I was signing. I let Donald continue.
“She told me to tell you that… Astrid Jacobson was looking for you.”
Now, he got my undivided attention. I stared at him for a while.
“Astrid Jacobson?” I echoed. He nodded. “You’re sure? Strawberry blond chick, enchanting violet eyes?”
Donald grinned. “Yes. Quite a breathtaking lady, Sir.”
So she found me. Now, she knows who I am.
“What else did she say?”
Donald smiled at the memory of Astrid, and I wanted to punch him in the face. I controlled myself and raised a brow at him. He cleared his throat and said, “Well, she asked me to tell you that when she does find you, she cannot wait to… kick your ass.”
Oh! That’s why Donald was smiling. Feisty Astrid! God, as if I needed another reminder why I wanted her in the first place.
I called up Adam Ackers to ask… no… force him to tell me where Astrid is at that moment. After five minutes, he texted me her exact location and I wasted no time going to where she was.
I found her, talking to a man… a familiar man. Her ex-fiancé. Jealousy reeled through me when I saw them talking. Is she still not over him?
But as I come closer to them I realized they were fighting. She slapped him and turned on her heel. Luckily, I was already only a foot away from her. She collided into me and I caught her in my arms immediately. Her blush told me how angry she was. I wrapped my arms around her and stared angrily at her ex.
“I see you haven’t lost your touch, Bryans.” I said to him. “It seems you still want the things you do not have.”
“Are you really sure you have her? You don’t know her as much as I do.”
I raised my chin to him, feeling proud and honored, “I think I know her now more than any man does.” The translation of that in my head was, “She wanted me enough to offer me what she didn’t offer you!”
“I doubt she loves you that much!” He said. Translation: “I’m the biggest fool for losing her! Now I want her back and I want you to give her up!”
“It doesn’t matter. I love her more than enough for the both of us.” I said. The real translation of that, if he's smart enough to decipher it is, "I am never giving her up so fuck off!”
She was still crying when I took her away. I let her. Then I tilted her chin up so she could look at me. I realized I missed her so much! It’s so not like me because I barely really know her.
“I was told you were looking for me… and I was told that you couldn’t wait to kick my ass.” I said. Her temper amuses me.
I didn’t see what was coming next. Her palm connected to my cheek in a force that sent my head flying sideways. That should have made me angry but it only made me want her even more. She was not thrilled with me now that she found out I lied about who I was.
“Ouch!” I took a deep breath. “I can’t say I don’t deserve that. Anything else?”
“Damn it! Who are you?”
I was
actually excited to introduce myself to her, as Ryder Van Woodsen, hoping she would be thrilled that the date she brought to that wedding was real. That I wasn’t pretending about who I am.
But damn! I should have kept my mouth shut!
When I told her who I was, she actually ‘hated’ me. And at the end of that night, she returned my ring. She loved it when she thought it was a cheap replica. But she found out that it was real, she didn’t want it anymore. And she wanted me less…