“Take the day off.” Deciding I needed to stop hovering, both for her sake and mine, I managed to smile. “I know the boss.”
“Yeah…” She gave me a smile that got all sorts of things stirring inside me. “I know you do.”
She kissed me once more, stroking a hand down my chest. Then she pushed me back, nudging me out of the guesthouse where we’d spent the past two days. It’d started off innocently enough. After we’d finally gotten to our breakfast on Christmas morning, she said she needed to call her parents, and I said I needed to call mine. She’d gone back to her place, and I’d done my usual brief best wishes on two separate phone calls.
And then I’d paced for nearly an hour before deciding to check with her to see if she had any plans for the rest of the day. After all, it was only polite.
She’d invited me in to see the gifts she’d gotten, and I’d stayed the rest of the day, and all of yesterday as well. Before I’d fallen asleep last night, her warm, naked body snuggled in my arms, I’d regretted not having given the staff the entire week between Christmas and New Year’s off.
But we both knew that things would change on Tuesday morning when we had to get up for work. Except she’d woken up nearly two hours ago, and I hadn’t thought much of it, still mostly asleep. But when my phone’s alarm went off ninety minutes later, and she wasn’t back in bed, I’d gotten up to find her.
She’d been lying on the couch, arm flung over her eyes, her mouth tight with lines fanning out. The bright knot of panic in my stomach had surprised me, but it hadn’t stopped me from trying to make her feel better. It hadn’t worked though. She still looked miserable.
But if she said she was fine, I’d have to trust her. That didn’t mean I wasn’t going to worry about her while I was at work.
Just a few short days remained until the end of the year. Outside my office, everything was a flurry of activity, and the phone rang endlessly. I should have been busy too, but instead, I sat in my office and kept seeing Astra’s wan face, the tight lines of pain around her mouth and eyes.
I’d texted Didi earlier and asked her about the massage therapist, if she was any good. Didi texted me back a few minutes ago. Yes, Sean was very good – she used him herself.
Great.
Astra was going to have a guy who wasn’t me putting his hands all over her sexy little body.
But if it helped…
The knock on the door came at the best possible time.
“Come on in,” I called out, grabbing a pen and the file in front of me, staring at it intently, even though I had no idea what I’d been reading ten minutes earlier.
Didi came in, a knowing smirk on her face as she sauntered over to my desk.
“Changed my mind,” I said, barely sparing her a glance. “Go back out. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Is that any way to greet your best friend?” she asked, her teasing tone wounded.
I glared at her. “When you come in here like that? Hell yes.”
“Like what?” The wide-eyed look of innocence was just a bit too much, even for her, because after all of three seconds, she started to grin.
I scowled. “What are you laughing about?”
“Am I laughing?”
“You get really annoying when you answer questions with questions, you know that, right?” Leaning back, I watched as she dropped into the chair across from me and made herself comfortable.
“I called you a few times over the last two days.”
“Yes. I know. I texted you back. Told you I was busy.”
“Uh-huh.” She tapped her fingers on the arm of the chair, still smiling smugly. “See, I got a bit worried after you pulled that line…oh, say the fifth time. So I texted Astra, asked if she’d seen you. Told her I couldn’t get a hold of you and was just a bit worried.”
Shit. Fighting the urge to squirm under Didi’s insightful stare, I leaned forward over my desk and reached for my pen...only to realize it was already in my hand. “Mind if I work while you do your rambling? I’ve got a lot to do before next week.”
“I bet. Is Astra still on the list?”
Blood rushed to my cheeks, and I slammed the pen down. “What the hell…did you pester her until she told you just to shut you up?”
“I knew it!” Didi pumped her fist in the air triumphantly.
I had a feeling I just walked into a trap.
“See, I did text her Christmas night. I was hoping maybe she could drop in on you and say hi if she wasn’t busy. Just so you weren’t completely alone the past couple of days.” Didi looked like the proverbial cat who ate the canary. “I know you say you don’t care if it’s Christmas or not, but you shouldn’t be alone, and I worry. So imagine my surprise when Astra said you two had actually spent the day together, and you’d just run out to grab you all some food for dinner?”
I’d actually just gone up to the main house to grab a couple bottles of wine to have with the dinner Astra cooked up for us. A dinner we both needed after having burnt off quite a few calories in her bedroom. I’d thought that after getting back to my place, I would have wanted to make some excuse to stay, but all I’d been able to think about while deciding on what to drink was that I needed to make sure I took everything I could possibly need so I didn’t have to leave her again anytime soon.
“So, Astra didn’t really tell you anything,” I said finally.
“No.” Didi shook her head, crossing one long leg over the other. “But you just did. So what happened?”
Running my tongue across my teeth, I debated how much to tell her.
“Don’t even bother trying to snowball me.” She pretended to study her nails.
I wasn’t fooled. She wouldn’t have been here if she felt as nonchalant as she was trying to look. I loved her, I really did, but I was tired of my personal life being anything but personal.
“You know what? This is none of your business,” I snapped. “Can you just go? We can talk later. I have a lot of work to do before next week.”
“You’re not getting rid of me so easily, sweets.” Didi laughed, clearly delighted. “Not when this is clearly a big deal.”
Part of me wished we were still kids so I could do something stupid like throw a pencil at her.
“The fact that you’re trying to talk around it and kick me out tells me things are even more serious than I thought.” She leaned forward, every inch of her intent. “You two spent the holiday getting it on.”
“Shit.” Eying the pen on my desk, I tried to decide what was more important – being mature or distracting Didi. At that moment, I wasn’t really sure.
“Hey, it’s not like I’m looking for locker room talk.” She stuck her tongue out at me.
Why was I trying to be mature if she was going to do things like that?
“Trust me, your girl is straight as they come.” Didi shrugged. “Besides, she’s not my type. And I’m in love with my girlfriend, okay? I’m asking for you.”
“For me.” Drumming my fingers on the desk, I stared her down. “How is digging into my love life for me?”
“See that?” Her smile softened. “You actually think you have a love life again. You see yourself as having a life again, Dash.”
She rose from the chair, grimacing a little. I didn’t say a word, still trying to process the bombshell she just dropped on me. Because she was right. I hadn’t even blinked at using that phrase. Love life.
“Man, I’m getting too old to try and conquer the black diamond hills, you know that? But don’t tell Christal.”
She rubbed her back, twisting to the left, then right before dropping her hand. and meeting my eyes.
“You probably aren’t aware of this, but you’ve smiled more since Astra came around than you have in a long time. She’s good for you, Dash. And I bet if you were honest with yourself, you could see that for yourself.”
I barely registered the door closing behind Didi as she left. I hadn’t told my best friend, but it wasn’t about being honest with my
self. I already knew that Astra was good for me. And it wasn’t even about me feeling like I was betraying Layla. I’d worked through most of that too.
No, now it was about me deciding if I could let myself get that close to someone again. If what I might be able to have with Astra was worth risking my heart.
31
Astra
The restorative powers of some rest, a good massage, a cool compress, and the right kind of herbal tea were amazing.
I almost felt normal as I made my way into the clinic Wednesday morning.
Granted, I’d have felt better if I’d been at home for one more day, sleeping off the dregs of what had almost been one murderous migraine, but I had too much to get done between now and O-Day. Opening Day. When the clinic finally started taking in patients.
No. Clients. We were calling them clients.
As I parked in front of the clinic, I nudged my sunglasses up my nose and told myself I would only clear a few things off my desk, touch base with the director of admissions on a couple of subjects, then maybe check in with Dash on one or two other things.
That was it.
I’d be in and out within two or three hours, then I could go home and sip tea and soak in a tub and nurse the remnants of the headache so I’d be completely recovered tomorrow. I knew from past experience that I’d be far more effective working at one hundred percent for two days, than if I pushed too hard today and couldn’t give it my all tomorrow and Friday. While the massage therapist had done some serious miracle work on the tension build-up in my neck and shoulders, I had to take care, or I’d end up with a full-blown migraine right in time for the clinic’s doors to open.
I’d been dealing with them off and on since I was in middle school, and I knew the signs. It was one of the reasons I always avoided using any kind of medication to treat my ADHD. They’d just made things worse, so for me, it was easier to deal with my attention issues without drugs than risk increasing frequency and intensity of migraines.
The California sunshine beat down on my shoulders as I walked across the parking lot, my eyes on my shoes so I wouldn’t have to take in any more light than needed.
Once I was in the lobby, I tugged my sunglasses off.
Immediately, I wished I hadn’t.
The bright light was almost too much, spilling in from the skylights with far more intensity than I could recall. But then again, this was the first near-migraine I’d had since moving here. Lights always seemed sharper, brighter when I was in this state.
Maybe I should have thought about moving to Seattle.
Blinking to clear my eyes, I started forward.
It was a good thing I brought my tea with me because I would need more. A lot more.
Since the new-age store was just down the street from the masseuse I’d left just an hour earlier, I picked up some tea on my way here. The bookstore where Didi worked was right there too, but I hadn’t stopped in. I wasn’t sure how much she knew about Dash and me, or how much he wanted her to know. I preferred not to lie whenever I could avoid it.
Despite how good the massage therapist had been, I could feel the knots in my neck already tightening up. He’d told me he needed me back in within two weeks, but I had a feeling we’d be pushing it at that, so we worked something out for me to go back in next Tuesday, the first day he’d be open after the new year.
Now I wished he do an office visit – here. Now. My office.
The thirty-minute quickie he’d worked me into wouldn’t cut it now that I was back in the thick of things.
“Hey, Ms. Traore…wow. Are you okay? I thought you were out sick again today.” The receptionist who manned the front desk looked worried as I started past her.
I smiled, hoping it looked more convincing than it felt. “A bit of a headache, that’s all.” Flapping a hand at her, I headed for the door that separated the administrative offices from the clinic area. “I’m just here to do a few things, and then I’ll be heading out again.”
Once in my office, I hit the lights and sagged back against the door.
Yeah, I definitely should have stayed at home again. I’d really thought sleeping almost the entire day yesterday would’ve knocked this thing out enough for me to get through part of today.
“Just get done what you need to get done,” I told myself.
And the first thing…another cup of tea.
And ten minutes of no light, no noise.
It was more like fifty minutes – and a nap.
It wasn’t intentional, but as the pounding at the base of my skull increased, I realized tea wasn’t going to cut it this time, and I relented, getting into my purse to dig out one of the pills my neurologist back in Philadelphia had prescribed for me to take if the headaches got out of hand.
The pills always made me a little tired, and despite having slept almost the entire day yesterday, I ended up drifting off at my desk, my head pillowed on my arms, my half-empty cup of tea going cold next to me.
A text from Piety woke me up.
The chime from my phone had me stirring, and I lifted my head, the dry taste in my mouth making me shudder. I reached for the tea as my phone’s screen lit up, signifying another text.
I see your car. I don’t see you. Thought you were out sick. Where are you?
The second text read:
If you’re sick, I’ll send Kaleb by. Not to be a paranoid mama-to-be, but I’m a paranoid mama-to-be.
Laughing a little, I picked up the phone. Whether it was the pill, my third cup of herbal tea, or the short nap, I felt close to human even if a little stiff from the awkward way I’d been sleeping. I tapped back a response.
I’m in my office. Had one of my headaches. Just here to get a few things done, then I’ll probably leave.
Five minutes later, the door opened.
Piety was smart. She didn’t turn on the light. Instead, she came over with a piece of toast slathered with peanut butter. Eying it with distaste, I shook my head. “No, thanks.”
“I know you. You probably haven’t eaten today. That won’t help you fight off another headache later on.” She put one finger on the plate and nudged it across the desk. “Eat it. Carbs and protein will work wonders.”
I glowered at her. “If I eat, will you beat it?”
She grinned at me. “I’ll do the Weird Al version if you do the Michael Jackson one.”
Her joke, lame as it was, made me laugh. Knowing she was right, and that she wouldn’t leave me alone unless I did what she said, I picked up the piece of bread and dutifully bit into it. “How are things going?”
She leaned a hip against my desk and tugged her phone out of her pocket. “We’ve already got half the beds filled. Isn’t that something?”
“By the end of next week, they’ll all be filled.” I refused to admit that having some food in my stomach was helping.
There was no point in saying it. Piety already knew. She was a good friend too. She didn’t say I told you so.
“We’ve had calls from places in Nevada expressing interest.” She slanted a look at me. “You should talk to Dash when we’re six months in about working on an expansion over the next two years.”
“Why wait?”
“Any sooner, we won’t have good numbers to put in front of the others on the board. And we shouldn’t expand within the next twenty-four months, period. Rehab, true rehab, isn’t a quick thing. But if we start working on the plans now, it will make it easier when we actually put things in motion.” Now she smiled. “And in case you haven’t noticed, he has it in his head how he wants to run things, but when you go to discuss something with him, he listens to you. He doesn’t reject you out of hand.”
“That’s because I out-stubborn him.” I gave her a partial grin
“And here I was thinking it was because he spends the first few minutes staring at your boobs, then his brain kicks in and realizes that you actually make sense.”
I flushed. “You’re such a comedienne.”
“Do we ne
ed to call maintenance?”
At the sound of a new voice, we both looked toward the door. Turk stood there, a tired smile on his handsome face.
“Wow. You look like you feel as bad as I did,” I said.
He hitched up a shoulder. “Bad headache. Took forever to get any sleep last night.” Eyes sliding up to study my dark lights, he repeated his question, “Do we need to call maintenance?”
“No.” I rubbed at the tension still lingering in my neck. “A migraine tried to choke-slam me yesterday. I’m warding it off so I can finish up some work.”
He gave me a sympathetic smile. “My mom used to have those all the time. If you can fight one of those and be here, you’re one tough piece of work. Anyway, you wanted to know when we had a list – the incoming client list has been turned in. Mr. Lahti has it.”
“Thanks.” Seeing the lines of strain fanning out from his eyes, I made a split-second decision. “Hey, I don’t know if you’re into it, but I use this herbal tea that helps a lot with my headaches. I can’t take a lot of other medications – they don’t settle well with me – but the herbal stuff helps a lot. You want to try some? I’ve got it with me. I can make you up a cup.”
He checked his watch. “I don’t know. Maybe later. I’ve got a meeting with the rest of my team in ten.”
“I’ll just measure you some out and write down the instructions then, okay?”
“Sure.” He made a face. “Can’t guarantee I’ll drink it if it tastes like some of the ‘herbal tea’ my mom used to make.” He made the air quotes with a pained smile.
“Like I’d drink anything that tasted bad,” I countered.
I eyed the clock as Turk left, trying to recall if Dash had mentioned any meetings. I felt normal-ish, but if I went out there and faced the light, so to speak, and he wasn’t free…
“His door was open as of five minutes ago,” Piety said, reading my mind.
“Okay. I’m going in.”
“You should be at home.” Dash came out from behind the desk, his mouth set in a firm line.