Chapter Fourteen - Next Level
Most of Sunday was spent with the kids, reading to them, playing games, talking about what they had done for others on Saturday. Alice returned from her week of vacation mid-afternoon and the two of them enjoyed a little wine as a coming home toast while Laura filled her in on the activities of the weekend.
"You, lady, are something to behold. I go away for a week and when I get back, you're running the place like a pro. That was great thinking, the kind this organization needs."
"Maybe less good thinking than a sense I owed those people something for being there when I needed them. Anyway, it all worked out. Ever had a ride behind ol' blue on a hay trailer? We should have taped it for a session on what not to do on your weekend. It was a blast."
"No, can't say that I have; something to look forward to. Anyway, who's car is parked over at the carriage house? Not one I recognize."
"Oh God, Alice, I almost forgot to tell you. The boys are feeling their testosterone these days. Remember the supervisor at the shelter the night you were there, nice looking, somewhat small statured woman? She latched on to Dennis yesterday at the cook-out; I don't think he was running very hard anyway. Franz apparently has a girlfriend in there as well, and I'm sure he has known her for a while; they seemed to really know each other when the girls got here. Somehow, I think this is all about watching football, beer, and pizza, some of one and lots of the other. It was so funny watching Angie and Dennis; he was tiptoeing around her as though she was fragile, protective, all that. I guess I never thought much about his lifestyle."
"I think Dennis and Franz deserve better than what they have been getting from life. Not that Windmere hasn't been good to them; it has, but it can't replace human interaction, if you know what I mean. A little action couldn't hurt them."
"Alice Hamilton, I'm shocked. Well, maybe not very shocked. Actually, I think you're right. Since we're being basic here, I learned some things about the white house over the past few days, like who built it and so on, but how much more do you know? Guess I'm more than a little curious, and I'll admit it's because Ryan figures in there pretty big. Talk to me?..please?"
"I can't add much. Back almost three years ago now when they were still living in it, they had parties in there now and then, just for the fun of it I guess. It's a beautiful house, and Mary did a wonderful job of bringing things together you would never think go together. It has five bedrooms, I think, and at least as many bathrooms. The first floor is an arc, so each room is open to the rooms next to it but you can't see the one beyond. Makes the whole place seem larger than it is, and it's already large enough. Anyway, Mary died in her bed in the house, with him holding her hand. It was nearly as hard on the rest of us as it was on him, and we were scared to death he couldn't weather it, they were so much like one person. The original owners of all this managed to have a private cemetery permitted when the big house was built; I guess they could afford the paperwork; it's in the trees out behind the white house. Ryan and Mary discovered it all overgrown and neglected when they were laying out the house, and had it cleaned up out of respect. That's where she was laid to rest. After that, the house was ordered closed up, and no one was to go there, ever. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but the guys maintain it when they have a chance, so it hasn't really deteriorated; mostly needs a major dusting I would guess. I don't know what will ever happen to it; to tell the truth, I think Ryan is still mourning for her, so your guess is as good as mine, but I also believe if anyone can bring him out of it, you can; it will just take a lot a patience."
"Strange, but I heard almost that exact same speech from Judge Harry the other day: 'Be patient.' I know Ryan likes me, and the kids, but something is holding him back and I just do not know what it is. Maybe you two are right after all; patience. But, new subject, now that you mentioned dusting?.." and Laura told Alice the story about Leslie, the whole unvarnished story. Alice listened thoughtfully, considered the situation, and after a minute or two responded.
"You can't kill the bastard, even Judge Harry can't do that, at least I don't think so. If this girl is willing to pull herself up, I do have an opening in the housekeeping staff. Susan's husband is transferring, so I'm losing her by the end of next week. We could start this girl say Tuesday so she can learn the routine from a really good worker. If she's half the person you say she is, we'll lose her in a couple of years, but you can deal with that."
"Me, deal with that?"
"Yes, you. I foresee you will be mistress of the manor at that point in time, and staffing is one of the jobs. So there!"
"And you're just going to waltz out of here one of these days?"
"No, not exactly. I'll be in large motor home, with my belongings, and Vincent?Vinny."
"That's it, Alice. You've been holding out on me; start talking."
"Ah, well, I didn't exactly mean to say anything about that just yet, but I guess now is as good a time as any. You know this past week I went back for a high school reunion, homecoming, whatever they call it these days. I have no idea why I did that; first time in years. The crazy thing is, I got the class newsletter that comes in now and then from back east, but to tell the truth, I didn't take time to read it and just pitched it, at least I thought I did. Then I saw it again on the coffee table, even though I'm sure I threw it out. Anyway, I opened it that time and read that my old high school was going to be demolished and my class wanted to do something in remembrance. So, we were to meet at the reunion and think of something. I decided it was just not worth the bother, and I know damned good and well I threw that letter into the trash that time. Next day I found it laying on the floor in the living room. Needless to say, I don't believe in things like that, but it was getting to me, and I decided to take another look. It was almost like the prompt I needed to get out of my rut and start living again, so I did, and the rest is history. I went. None of us have aged of course, even though we hardly recognized each other. It was the craziest thing but there was a fellow I went out with a time or two in high school, nothing real serious, and we went our different ways after graduation. I recognized him as though we had never been apart; Vinny Lupinacci, Vincent. Character extraordinary. Anyway, Vinny and I hit it off real well; his wife passed a couple of years ago, so we're sort of in the same boat. He's been very successful, but retired to, as he says, 'do some living before I die'."
"And I assume that 'do some living' now includes you?"
"Patience child; I'm getting to that. Anyway, we sort of danced the night away, had a really good time, and I agreed to come see the pictures of his grandkids if he would look at pictures of my grandkids."
"So, you were lured to his hotel room, is that your story?"
"Not exactly. Vinny has a motor home, a really big motor home, and had a rental car for local use. So, we went to his motor home and looked at pictures?..and things. Did you know you can get a motor home so big it comes with a built in wine cooler, and a king sized bed?"
"You're changing the subject."
"No, I'm just sort of?..maybe?..delaying?"
"You were in the motor home with the wine cooler, and the king sized bed. Alice, are those two things somehow related? Were you a bad girl?"
"No, I wouldn't say bad exactly. Vinny and I are both consenting adults, and there was nothing bad about it; in fact, it was great. He's a great guy, in great shape, and to tell the truth, it all just seemed so natural. He makes those ED drugs advertised on TV look like tranquilizers. I don't know if he really will call or not, but I hope so. If he doesn't, well, I had one hell of a good time anyway, so there. If he does, and he really does ask me to go along, I'll go. I'm not going to get any younger; no sense blowing an opportunity like this, if it comes along."
"So, what happens if he doesn't call?"
"I go on living, but I realized there is a lot to see, and I need to go see it. I love it here, but my time is running. I wasn't kidding when I said this would be your place to run; I really believe that. So, I'm going on tour, ready or not
."
"Wow, I'm not so sure about trying to fill your shoes; you just seem so great at keeping it all together, knowing just what to do, and you make it look really easy."
"Look, don't try to fill my shoes; they aren't the ones he's looking at. You know that, I know that, and as for the rest of it, after what you pulled off yesterday, it's a piece of cake. No hill for a real climber. Now, I need to get back to my place and put some serious thought into my future out in the wide world. You do the interview tomorrow with the new girl; you know the drill. Okay? See you in the morning. Can't wait to see Doris' face when I tell her."
And with that, Alice retreated to her own cottage and Laura was left with some very mixed emotions. What Alice had said about running the place seemed reasonable, but could Laura really do it? Was there maybe someone else in line? She was still somewhat unsure of herself in some ways, and she knew managing even a part of an enterprise like Windmere was not for the faint of heart. Still, there were Doris and Marie, Dennis and Franz, Cal and Roger?..and Ryan. What was holding him back; was it something she said or did? She wanted very badly to take a step up in their relationship, and now with the divorce behind her, she was free to make her own decisions; things were progressing, however slowly. Time to corral the kids and get things wrapped up for the day. The next day would come whether she was prepared or not. As it turned out, the new day would bring an event which she both longed for and was unprepared for at the same time.
The morning kitchen scene was chaotic when Alice dropped her bombshell to the rest of the staff, but as disruptive as it seemed, the unspoken transition of authority to Laura gained instant traction. In considering it later, Laura puzzled about how clear a transition it had become, yet she was by far a junior partner at Windmere; was there something she was missing in all this? She resigned herself to being on the learning curve, but even at that, she had learned a lot about the White House, Ryan, Alice, and a lot of other things. It was time to earn her keep and she headed for her office, stopping along the way in the center area to pick up some printer paper for the small color unit in her office. It was at that point Ryan came in, returning from a weekend field trip, and saw her at the supply cabinet.
"There's our miracle worker girl. Roger sent me the pictures he took Saturday. How in the world did you manage to pull that off, and on such short notice? Everybody in the pictures looked fat and happy, except for that one girl; maybe you can explain her later today when things calm down a little."
"It just seemed like a good idea at the time, and the whole thing sort of came to life all at once. The guys with the tractor were a riot, and to tell the truth, the whole thing made me feel good. I think everybody felt that way."
"So, you should be rewarded, but," he said as he kissed her on the forehead "that will have to do until you're better paid."
There are moments in each person's life when things happen that seem to be outside them, almost as a third person. Such a thing happened to Laura at that moment, probably not beyond her will to control but certainly beyond her desire to control, and she heard someone say, in her own voice: "You missed; my lips are way down here."
She had no more heard herself say those words than she realized what she may have just done to their relationship; where was her patience now when she needed it so much? What would he do? Were things ruined? Would he be angry, or just pull away?
Ryan heard the words escape her lips, felt her nearness, even her warmth from being so close to him, and it was too much for his self imposed restraint. Hands still on her upper arms, he leaned back just a little, gazed straight into her beautiful eyes, and said simply: "Do overs?"
Laura's voice was small and trembling when she answered with one word: "Please."
Slow motion would have seemed like light speed, but there was no more hesitation, no going back, not this time. Just the two of them in their own world. As his arms encircled her, and his lips found hers, the thought occurred to Laura that she didn't need the ream of paper for anything just then, but she did need both arms around this man, and she simply let go of the package, at about shoulder height. It was not a significant event in the context of the pure emotion the two of them were generating at that moment, but in the remainder of the world the heavy package of paper made a significant impression when it hit first the end of the copier, then in a ricochet fell into the metal waste can, turning it over and striking the nearby desk leg. In his office early, Roger had missed all the quiet conversation between Ryan and Laura, but the crashing sounds brought him quickly to his office door to investigate; and just as quickly, he turned around and went back to his desk, with one thought emblazoned in his mind: 'Now, by God, we're getting somewhere with those two.'
It was similar with Marcia, arriving for work as usual, and doing a high speed u-turn in the hallway. Time for one more cup she thought; no sense disturbing things now.
Slowly it dawned on the two lovers that they were standing in the middle of an office that would soon be busy with other people. Their full contact, no holds barred kiss, had literally taken the breath from both of them, and they stood holding each other until the tumult subsided enough that they could at least talk. Laura was first to speak, but still with a very small and somewhat shaky voice. "Do you promise to reward me like that again if I do more good deeds?"
"Count on it, but just in case I think maybe we should practice in between times, okay?"
"Okay, I'm sure I can work that into my schedule."
"In the meantime, do you realize we have brought an entire corporation to a standstill by taking over the main office?"
"Yes; do you care?"
"No, but we probably should let these people get to work. Okay?"
"Okay, but I want a rain check on a replay"
"A whole book of rain checks, madam. Now hie thee to thy office and crunch some numbers for the stockholders. Oh, almost forgot to mention we have a merger group here next week I need you to sit in on, probably as much to referee as aid and abet. And save some practice time this evening. No sense forgetting what we just learned." Ryan's grin said he would certainly not forget, and he looked forward to a replay.
For her part, Laura simply said "Yes, master; off I go to the salt mine. I know: practice, practice, practice. Slave driver." And with a giggle she departed for the confines of her office.
As the week wore on, Laura and Ryan had occasional moments to share between the two of them, but had not gone on an all out romantic binge. She would make it a point to stop by his office first thing in the morning and see if his neck was bothering him, and it seemed every day he had some sort of problem with it that needed her attention. The understanding between the two of them was that massaging his neck constituted a good deed for the company, if not for him personally, and should be rewarded. It was a silly game, but it invariably ended up with them in each other's arms before getting on with the day's work. The evenings offered them less protection in the form of other staff being around to slow thing down, although Jack and Amanda were certainly around. On more than one occasion Ryan had suggested they come to the great room with a movie DVD, or to watch some kids special. It was true that the great room, when not otherwise occupied for business, could be used by anyone, but when he had moved from the White House to the apartment , it became recognized more as Ryan's living and recreation room, although he did not spend an exorbitant amount of time in it. Things had changed in the last few days, not only between Ryan and Laura, but in his relationship with her children. Whether they sensed something or not, they seemed closer to him than before. Amanda was openly accepting, and more than once had fallen asleep in his lap, to be carried gently to her bed in the cottage. Jack was less accepting, and it occurred to Ryan they needed to talk, with no one else around, man to man as it were.
Saturday morning after his run, Ryan wandered out toward the carriage house, but not aimlessly. He was well aware of what went on around the place, and he knew Jack and Franz often spent Saturday mornings dismantling thi
ngs so Jack could learn what went on inside and how to determine a problem without having to always disassemble things; even at the tender age of six, it was an invaluable education, although to Jack it was simply entertainment. True to form, Ryan found the two of them in the repair shop with a small engine in complete disassembly on the workbench. He had to admit to himself he would have no idea where to start putting it back together, and he highly respected Franz for his abilities. Moreover, he had heard about the hosting event Franz and Dennis conducted over the past weekend, and Ryan became more aware of this man as a person. But, that was not the point of the mission this morning.
"Good morning, gentlemen. Doing a little surgery on the one lunger?"
"'Morning Ryan; yes, we are. Fill him in assistant mechanic Jackson."
"Yes, sir. I found this ol' thing on the junk heap down by the old farm house, you know, where they found ol' blue. Anyways, it was on a mini-bike and Franz said if we could get it running and my mom said it was okay, I could learn to ride it someday. So we're trying to find out what's wrong, aren't we Franz?"
"That we are. Mostly, I suspect it is simply worn out, but the block is still good, and the crank and piston look good, so I think if we're patient, by the time Jack is maybe 16 or so we can have it going."
"Sixteen?! You said maybe a couple of weeks; I know you said a couple of weeks, didn't you?"
"Well, maybe I did say a couple of weeks, but that's not saying your mother is going to allow this, ready or not; nothing I can do about that, but maybe this guy could." Franz had lobbed one over the net to Ryan, who didn't even see it coming. His fielding was less than expert, but Ryan was a quick study and the response was sure and on point.
"Not me, coach. I think maybe she runs that show pretty well as it is. Far be it from me to interfere. Anyway, I need something this morning."
"And that would be?..?"
"I need to borrow your assistant mechanic for an hour or so. Probably bring him back in one piece; I just need to do a little legislating before things get out of hand."
The real meaning of the discussion went right over Jack's head, but Franz understood what was taking place. Word traveled quickly around Windmere, and there had been more than mild speculation about Ryan and Laura, and how her two children fit into the puzzle. It seemed obvious what would eventually happen with the adults, whether they knew it yet or not; the money was going down on a calendar pool, with the winner being the person who guessed closest to the actual date on which they would be married. It was rather wild speculation at the moment, but these were optimistic people who enjoyed a good wager for the fun of it. In the meantime, Ryan needed to clear the air with Jack, or at least try to do so.
"Feel free; he's all yours. I'll be right here when you get back from wherever you're going Jack. Take your time. Okay?"
"Okay. See you when I get back. Where are we going?"
"Not very far; mostly just a short walk, but I want to show you something. How about we let the dogs out for a run with us?"
"Okay. I'll get the gate."
The dogs heard the bolt slide on the kennel gate and were out of their house in a flash, ready for action. Ryan started off down the drive to the golf course with Jack at his side and the dogs bounding for joy out ahead of them. About half way to the course boundary itself, he made a turn off the driveway, pointing to a pathway that was somewhat overgrown and not readily visible. The dogs did a quick reversal of course and caught them in no time, racing through the trees to "protect" the humans coming behind them.
"Wow; I been through that drive a million times and never saw this trail. Is it a secret or something?" Jack's curiosity overcame his reticence to accept this man he saw as somewhat of a threat to his position in the family. After all, Jack felt it was his job to protect his mother and sister, much as he would have done in the shelter if Dennis had proven to be a threat. Size didn't matter when his family was threatened, and he knew now that his father would not be there at all, probably never. His reluctance with Ryan was only natural in his six year old eyes; he had a family to protect and lately things had been going on that he had no control over. His mother seemed to be preoccupied with this man and it appeared he was a threat to Jack's position.
"Sort of. I found it a few years ago and just never cleaned out the brush, but it's passable and goes where I want to go. We'll have to single file part of the way, but it isn't real far. I don't think anyone else knows about this place; at least, I've never seen any sign that anyone else has been here. Suits me just fine. I think everyone needs some place to go, just by themselves, to think things over. Only a couple more minutes now."
The trail was reasonably passable, single file, then suddenly they were in a clearing beside a small pond. The old growth trees formed a canopy overhead, with only a small opening for the sun to shine directly on the water. The lack of direct sunlight had kept the surrounding area much like a forest floor, with only a short growth of moss like ground cover. Adjacent to the pond edge were several short sections of log on end that served as places to sit. The dogs waded in to their knees and lapped copiously to slake their thirst, then went about exploring the rest of the clearing. Ryan stood for a moment or two just taking in the surroundings, while Jack was somewhat transfixed by the solitude it offered. At six, he had already seen more than he needed of some things, and had experienced more stress than some adults could handle. This new experience had a calming effect, and whatever the reason for their being there, this was a good place to be. Ryan walked over to the logs and propped up a foot while looking at the clear pond surface, tiny dog induced ripples smoothing themselves into a glass surface.
"Ever skip rocks, Jack?"
It sounded crazy to Jack. Rocks couldn't skip, could they? "No. Rocks just sink; I know better than that."
"Watch." Ryan picked a smooth oval stone from a small pile by the log, bent over so his arm would be close to the ground, and sidearmed the stone across the water in a hard throw. The stone hit, flew upward, and hit twice more before finally disappearing under the surface. "Your turn. You should be good at this; you're closer to the ground than I am, and no doubt a lot more limber. Remember, side arm it, and snap your wrist at the mid-point of the throw; makes the stone come out faster."
Jack had watched the demonstration in amazement; it didn't seem reasonable that stones could fly like that, but he was about to give it a try anyway. After sorting through the small pile for just the right stone, Jack wound up and gave it a mighty fling, into the dirt bank. Embarrassed by his poor showing, it was made worse when Ryan started to chuckle. But Ryan Williams was not a mean man, and he was intent on salvaging the moment.
"Looks like the same thing I did when I tried it the first time. You look like you've got a good arm; give it another shot." Jack was disarmed by what he had just heard. Here he thought this guy was laughing at him, and he wasn't; he was somehow laughing at himself, and encouraging Jack at the same time. It was a strange feeling to start considering this person as other than a threat. Ryan sorted through the pile, selected a stone, and passed it to Jack. "Try this one; it's smooth and pretty oval; just what you need. Remember, side arm, low, snap your wrist, right out across the water."
Jack took the stone, planted his feet firmly in the soft dirt, and hurled the stone with all his might, remembering to snap his wrist as he let go. It hit, and to Jack's surprise, rose from the surface and bounced again before sinking. "I did it; I did it! Did you see it fly?" Whatever pain Jack might have felt at missing the first throw had evaporated with the skipping stone.
"I did. See, I knew you could do it. Try this one." Again the stone skipped, and Jack was hooked. "Okay, you pick one. Oval, not round, and it has to feel right in your hand."
Jack threw again. The third bounce was pretty tiny, not much elevation, but it did look like a third bounce. Jack was elated. A handful of stones later, and Jack's arm needed a bit of a rest. The two of them sat on the logs, Jack looking at a stone in his hand, while Ryan poked the
dirt with a stick he had picked up. The dogs had finished their survey and come back to lay by the human's feet, or on their feet, as the case may be and dogs are prone to do.
Ryan considered what to say to Jack, what the boy needed to hear to ease his fears. There was no obvious answer staring at him. 'Maybe', Ryan thought, 'I should just do this unvarnished.' "Know how I found this place, Jack?"
"No sir, but I like it."
"So do I. You know, I was married to a wonderful woman for about five years. She didn't look like your mom at all, but they had many of the same traits: compassionate, caring, loving, trustful, all the great stuff that men should come to appreciate in women. Then she got really sick one day. There was nothing anyone could do. I tried everywhere to find something to cure her, but one night, almost three years ago now, when I was sitting by her bedside, she died. She was buried here on the property so I could watch over her grave and keep it nice, but it made me so sad I had to find some place private where I could let all the sadness out of my heart. I don't really know exactly how I saw that overgrown path, but I did, and at the end of it, here I was. So I came here every day for weeks and let the sadness out until so much of it was gone that I could accept the rest and live with it. I've never talked about it to anyone else, and it brings back a lot of the memories, some good, some not so good. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I understand how tough things can be at times, and I know you have had some hard things to get through. The thing is, my wife is gone, but her memory will always be with me; I loved her a lot, but she's not here, I am, and I have to go on living life. Does that make any sense at all to you?"
"I remember when we had to leave our house, and we had to leave most everything there, even most of our toys and things; I heard mama cry when she thought us kids were asleep. I don't understand all those things, but I know I felt a lot like crying myself. I think everything is better now and I don't feel bad about things anymore."
Ryan realized the concept of loss through death would have scant meaning to the little boy and wanted to find some suitable means of comparison. At the mention of "us kids" a way seemed to appear to explain better what may lie ahead for them. "So, when you were in that house, you were your mother's son, right?"
"Yes sir, then Amanda was borned."
"Right, but you were still your mother's son, even though she now also had your sister to take care of. Right?"
"I guess so."
"And now you're here, and she's still your mother and you're still her son. Right?"
"Right, I think."
"So, even though some things changed, like living here instead of where you were, and even though you have a sister, you will always be your mother's son and she will always love you like the day you were born. I'm sure she loves your sister just as much. I know it can be confusing and a little hard to understand. Here, how about this? Do you like these dogs?"
"Sure, I like them, and I take care of them in the morning; that's my job."
"And Franz says you do a good job. But if there were three dogs, would you like each of these two a little bit less so you could like the third dog equally well?"
"No, I don't think so. I think I see what you mean but it's really hard to understand."
"Jack, all you have to understand for now is this: I like your mom a lot, and I'm pretty sure she likes me a lot, but that doesn't mean she loves you any less. You will always be her son, and she will always love you. When I was your age, and I can remember back that far believe it or not, I had a good time playing and stuff; I think because a lot of things went wrong, you've been holding things together for your family, sort of being the man of the family so to speak. If I can, and if things work out, I'd like to do that for you, and you go back to doing the things a six year old should be doing, you know, being a kid again and without the grown-up concerns to worry about. Can we agree on that?"
"I think so, but I don't understand a lot of all that stuff. I know you showed me your secret place, and how to skip stones, so I guess it's okay."
"Pretty much, that makes it okay. I just need you to understand that I will never take your place in your mother's eyes, any more than your sister has, or anyone else can. If your mother and I?..um?..things change, and I don't know what will happen next; I just don't. So, how about a few more stones, then we probably need to go back before they send out a search party for us. Okay?"
"Okay." Somehow, Jack felt better about everything, even though he didn't really understand much of what he had just heard. He did know that when Ryan was talking about his wife, Jack could hear the sadness in his voice. The other thing, about being his mother's son, that sort of made sense too. And if his mom really liked this guy, that couldn't be a bad thing, could it? Anyway, he now knew of a secret place in which he could find refuge if he needed time to think about things, and he knew how to skip stones. Life was getting better by the day.
For all the small steps they had taken in the past few weeks and months, the next few weeks would pick up the pace. Ryan knew his path now, but there was still one thing not in place, and he had no way to know when that would happen. His wait would be short.