‘You did not!’ Adriana squealed, clapping her hands together.
‘I did,’ Emmy said with a huge smile.
‘Did not!’
‘Did so. And I can’t begin to tell you how good it felt.’
Adriana hugged Emmy, pulled her as close as their tiny table would allow. They were at Alice’s Tea Cup on the Upper East Side, packed in with dozens, maybe hundreds of females of every imaginable age, rehashing Emmy’s triumphant moment. ‘You so did the right thing.’
‘Um, yeah!’ Emmy said with widened eyes. ‘Don’t think for a second I’m doubting it. Do you believe that asshole had the nerve to show up at my apartment, on the eve of my thirtieth birthday, and ask me to take him back – all without ever bothering to apologize? He is loathsome.’
‘Always was.’ Adriana nodded until she noticed Emmy looking at her with a funny expression. ‘Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just agreeing that his actions were particularly repugnant this time.’ Good lord, these girls could be so sensitive!
An extra-perky adorable waitress approached their table. ‘Celebrating a special occasion today, ladies?’ she asked.
Emmy snorted. ‘What gave it away? The crow’s-feet or the three ringless wonders, out for afternoon tea, just like they will be in fifty years?’
‘The three ringless wonders? That’s a new one.’ Adriana rolled her eyes and glanced at Leigh, who sat, stone-faced, her bare left hand jammed under her thigh. Adriana felt bad; Emmy must not have known that Leigh had returned the ring to Russell the night before.
‘Good, right? I just made that up right now. But it has a nice ring to it … ha! No pun intended!’ Emmy cracked up.
‘Sorry, I just figured since—’ The waitress coughed and looked at her feet.
Adriana interrupted. ‘No, we’re sorry. Actually, we are celebrating … this one’s thirtieth birthday. And as you can see, we’re struggling.’
‘Thirty? Really? You look great for thirty!’ the girl said enthusiastically. She couldn’t have been a day over twenty-four. ‘I can only hope I look so good then.’
Thankfully, Leigh stepped in before Emmy could say anything truly nasty and said, ‘Yeah, she does, doesn’t she? We’re ready to order.’
The waitress grinned while taking their orders and bounced off, convinced she’d just made someone’s day.
‘Bitch,’ Emmy hissed under her breath. ‘May her huge, perky boobs give her back pain by thirty.’
Adriana slapped the table. ‘Did you see her sun damage? Please! That girl is going to look like a leathery hag when she turns thirty. Her boobs are the least of her problems.’
‘I don’t know what you two were looking at, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her hair,’ Leigh said.
‘Her hair? What was wrong with her hair?’ Emmy asked.
‘Well, there is nothing wrong with it now, but you can just see she’s going to be the thinning type. I sure wouldn’t want to be thirty with a receding hairline and a thinned-out center part.’
All three girls laughed.
‘Yeah, well, you’re right … That was probably long overdue,’ Emmy said, picking up right where they’d left off before the unfortunate waitress incident. ‘It’s just weird how everything unfolds, you know? I wanted nothing more than for Duncan to come back and declare his undying love for me, for us to run off into the sunset together, for him to realize what a horrible mistake he’d made, and then, the moment exactly that happens, all I want is for him to get hit by a bus. Is that normal?’
‘Perfectly,’ Adriana said. ‘Don’t you think, Leigh?’ Adriana had tried to incorporate Leigh into the conversation earlier, but she hadn’t said much of anything, had just sat there with a distracted smile and occasionally murmured a ‘hmm.’
‘Definitely,’ Leigh said now, turning to Adriana. ‘Our little girl is growing up! I think it’s so—’ The sound of Leigh’s cell phone stopped her midsentence.
Adriana watched as she pulled it from her bag, checked the caller ID, and hit Ignore. ‘Jesse again?’ she asked.
Leigh nodded. ‘You’d think he’d get the message by now. I haven’t returned a single call since he got back from Indonesia.’
‘Yes, querida? And exactly what message is that?’ Of course she couldn’t be so blunt about it to her friends, but Adriana had been thrilled when Emmy had called with the news of Leigh’s affair and subsequent breakup with Russell. Not that she didn’t adore Russell – everyone adored Russell. But she adored Leigh more and wanted the very best for her. Now an affair? With a married man? Who also happened to be brilliant, volatile, and wildly inappropriate in myriad other ways? This was a wonderfully unexpected step in the right direction. If only Leigh could see it that way, too …
‘That what happened between us was a mistake, a onetime thing that happened months ago, for chrissake, and that we really don’t need to talk about. I just don’t understand why he has to make this harder than it is.’
Emmy laughed. ‘Sweetheart, you can’t blame the guy for recognizing that this is a little more complicated than that, can you? Does he know you ended things with Russell?’
Leigh’s head whipped up. ‘Of course not,’ she said curtly. ‘What happened between Russell and me had nothing to do with Jesse.’
Adriana snorted. The girl was delusional! When was she going to be able to just admit she was madly in love with the wrong guy? Adriana began to plot her next column; if her perfectly sane and rational friend could be so blind, other women must suffer as well. Perhaps she could call it ‘Deluded Thinking: A Primer.’ Or maybe ‘Why I Insist on Lying to Myself.’ Yes, that could work nicely.
Leigh glared at her. ‘What?’
‘Do you really believe that, querida?’
‘Yes, actually, I really do. Because it’s true! Russell and I were’ – she paused here, searching for the right words – ‘having problems long before I even met Jesse. I might concede – might – that what happened with Jesse helped open my eyes to what was going on with Russell, but even that’s a stretch. I slept with Jesse because I was feeling lonely and probably a little bit scared of what was happening between Russell and me. It was a lapse in judgment during a particularly vulnerable time in my life. Nothing more, nothing less.’
Emmy and Adriana exchanged looks.
‘What? What are you two looking at each other for?’
Adriana was grateful when Emmy took the reins with her most soothing tone and diplomatic word choice. ‘We’re not saying you don’t think that’s true, but … well … does that mean it has to be true for Jesse, too?’
‘And it doesn’t take a shrink to see that you look about a thousand times more relaxed than usual,’ Adriana chimed in.
Leigh rolled her eyes. ‘Look, you two, you know I love you both, but this is getting ridiculous! Regardless of how I feel – felt – about Jesse, you’re both overlooking a rather important detail. Stay with me here, okay? Jesse. Chapman. Is. Married. Married, as in committed for life to another woman. Married, as in sleeping with me makes him a liar and a cheater whom my best friends should not be encouraging me to pursue. Married, as in—’
Adriana held up a hand. Nothing bothered her more than when Leigh went all preachy and puritanical on her. ‘All right, all right, we get it,’ she said.
A different server appeared, a man this time, carrying a tray of food.
‘Oh, no! I hope we didn’t scare off your colleague,’ Emmy said. ‘We were being sort of obnoxious.’
The waiter looked at her strangely and began to auction off the food. ‘Lapsang Souchong Smoked Chicken Breast Salad with dressing on the side?’ He placed it in front of Leigh. ‘And two Mad Hatters, with the scones and sandwiches at the same time, as requested. Your tea will be right out. Can I get you ladies anything else?’
‘A husband? A baby? Some sort of life?’ Emmy asked. ‘Any of those on the menu?’
He backed away from the table slowly, like she was a wild animal. ‘I, uh, I’ll be back to ch
eck on you. Enjoy,’ he mumbled as he bolted.
‘Christ, Emmy, get ahold of yourself. You’re scaring people,’ Adriana admonished, although she secretly found the whole thing extremely entertaining.
Emmy sighed. ‘What else is new?’
‘I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this past week,’ Leigh said, looking across the table at her friends. Adriana thought this inauspicious. Leigh’s ‘thinking’ almost always resulted in the type of decision that only made her unhappier. Adriana prepared herself for the sentence that would surely begin, ‘I’m thinking I should …’
‘I’m thinking I should go back to school,’ she said quietly.
‘What?’ Adriana screeched. Where could this possibly be stemming from? School? ‘Why on earth would you do that?’
Leigh smiled. ‘Because I’ve always wanted to,’ she said.
‘You have?’ Emmy asked.
Leigh nodded. ‘For an MFA in creative writing. I wanted to go right after graduation – remember? – but my dad got me that assistant job at Brook Harris, and kept saying that no good editor – or writer for that matter – needed an advanced degree, that the best thing I could do for my career was to get started on it.’ She laughed bitterly. ‘What we both failed to consider was that this wasn’t the career I wanted.’
‘But, Leigh, sweetheart, you’re so good at it! Just seconds away from a huge promotion, working with a huge bestselling author—’
Leigh interrupted Emmy. ‘Worked with. Past tense.’
Adriana sighed. Leigh could be so dramatic sometimes! ‘Just because you had sex with him does not mean you can’t edit him, Leigh. If every single person refused to work with someone they’d slept with, the entire world economy would shut down.’
‘I agree,’ Leigh said. ‘We probably could’ve gotten over it. And god knows Henry wouldn’t have cared, so long as that manuscript was in on time. I just meant it was past tense because I quit already. Yesterday.’
‘Stop it!’ Emmy shouted. A group of middle-aged tourists turned to stare at them. ‘You’re joking,’ she whispered.
‘How come you didn’t tell me yesterday, when we were shopping?’ Adriana asked, gripping Leigh’s arm. ‘Did you just forget to mention it?’
‘I needed some time to process it. I told Henry that I wasn’t in any rush, I’d stay as long as it took for a seamless transition, but that I was definitely leaving.’
‘Ohmigod,’ Emmy breathed.
‘How did he take it?’ Adriana asked. She couldn’t help being the teensiest bit upset that Leigh had upstaged her. After all, she had her own exciting news to announce.
‘He was pretty surprised. Said he’d been getting bizarre calls from Jesse for weeks saying that he had done something – an unnamed something – that had probably made me uncomfortable, that it was entirely his fault, that it would never happen again, and apparently begged Henry not to hand him over to another editor.’
‘Well, that was nice of him. You don’t think Henry knows, do you?’ Emmy asked.
‘No. From what he said, it sounds like he thinks Jesse came on to me in some way, made me uncomfortable, and I freaked. Figures that’s why I don’t want to work with him anymore, and he even tried to tell me that the occasional pervy author was part of the deal, a hazard of the trade or whatever.’ Leigh laughed ruefully and took a sip of tea. ‘I wonder what he’d think if he knew I practically dragged Jesse to bed?’
‘Querida, I can’t believe you actually quit your job! What’s your game plan?’
‘Guess what? For the first time in my entire life, I don’t really know.’ Leigh refilled her teacup and didn’t appear too concerned. ‘I want to take some time off, not rush into anything, maybe travel a little before hopefully starting school this fall. I haven’t really figured it all out, but I’ll probably have to sell my apartment and’ – she paused for a minute and turned to Emmy – ‘find a roommate? No pressure, Em, I swear, but I know you hate your place and have been talking about moving forever, so no need to answer now, but maybe we could find a cute two-bedroom together somewhere?’
Leigh was ruining everything! Adriana had a whole plan. She had been so excited to tell Emmy about it, and now Leigh was screwing it all up. She tried to interject. ‘Well, guess what? I have something—’
‘Ohmigod, are you kidding?’ Emmy was practically shrieking. ‘I would love that. Love, love, love it. I can’t stand that fucking studio for one more second. I’ll move anywhere. Anywhere! My only requirement is an oven. And a stove. That should be manageable, right? Just say the word.’
‘Done!’ Leigh said. ‘Let’s start looking right away. I’m ready to move as soon as my place sells.’
‘Hellooooo? Do you two hear me? Hello!’ Adriana said, a bit more peevishly than she intended. ‘I have something that might be of interest to you both.’
The girls turned and looked at her expectantly.
‘So, nothing’s finalized yet – and I probably shouldn’t even be saying anything – but I will most likely be moving to Los Angeles.’
That silenced them. It was satisfying to watch Leigh gasp and Emmy’s mouth drop open. What’s a girl got to do to get a little attention around here? Adriana thought.
‘What?’
‘Why?’
‘Is it Toby?’
‘Are you moving in with him?’
‘Do your parents know?’
‘Is it definite?’
‘Are you getting married?’
This was absolutely delicious, better even than she had hoped. She sighed dramatically. ‘Okay, okay, I’ll tell you everything. Just calm down.’ By which she meant, of course, Keep firing questions at me, I love it! Happily, her friends obliged, and Adriana reveled in their curiosity until she got to utter the words she never thought she’d hear herself say, words that made her prouder and more excited than she could possibly have imagined.
‘I have a job offer, and I plan to accept it,’ she said and sat back to relish her friends’ reactions. It was so delicious springing exciting news on her unsuspecting friends. How else could you get them to pay attention?
‘A what?’ Leigh asked with a puzzled expression.
‘What, exactly, do you mean by “job”?’ Emmy asked, looking equally confused.
‘Oh, come on! What do you think I mean?’ This was exasperating! Was it really so impossible to imagine her with a job just because she’d never kept one before? Puh-lease. The whole world worked; she was sure she could handle it, too.
‘Okay, Adi, don’t make us beg for it. Give us the rundown,’ Leigh said, leaning forward over the table.
Adriana took a deep, dramatic breath. So kill her for wanting to enjoy this! It wasn’t every day Adriana de Souza was taken seriously. ‘Let’s see, the CliffsNotes version is fairly straightforward. You already know about the Marie Claire column?’
Both girls nodded.
‘Well, we were out to dinner the other night with some of Toby’s colleagues at Paramount. He was bragging about my columns getting picked up – you should’ve seen it, he was absolutely adorable – and one of the women, a producer of some sort, started acting all interested. She kept asking all these questions about me, the columns, how Marie Claire found me, when the first one was getting published … and like a million others. I sort of thought she was just being polite, but she called the next day and told me that she was interested in – are you ready for this? – developing my ideas into a movie!’
‘Ohmigod,’ Emmy breathed.
Leigh looked dumbstruck. ‘No way. No, no, no way!’
Adriana nodded happily. ‘Yes, yes, yes! I e-mailed her the samples I’d submitted to Marie Claire and she called back later that very same day. Said she wanted to preempt anyone else and start working on it before the first column actually gets published and, in her words, ‘inevitably becomes a phenomenon.’ She called me the next Candace Bushnell.’
‘Shut up!’ her friends called out simultaneously.
‘I’m completely
serious.’
Leigh leaned even closer; she was practically pressing her face against Adriana’s. ‘So what does that mean? What will you do for her?’
‘I didn’t totally understand, either, but Toby said that the first step is to get an agent – he’s recommending someone good – and then they’ll negotiate a consulting contract on my behalf. The producer has a deal with Paramount and a trailer on their lot, and she’s going to pair me with a screenwriter to work on developing a script. If everything goes through, I’ll be moving in the next two months.’
What she hadn’t told her friends was that the producer was fine with her working from New York – had expected it, even – and that it was entirely her choice to move to LA. It was just time for a change. Adriana had been in New York since the day she’d graduated, and she knew she’d move back sooner than later. If she didn’t try living somewhere else now, it might never happen. Plus, the idea of getting even farther away from her parents and their meddling restrictions was immensely appealing.
‘Adriana, that is so incredible. Incredible. Congratulations!’ Leigh said as she pushed herself up from the table and went to hug her friend.
‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Adriana asked Emmy, who had begun tearing up.
‘Sorry,’ she sniffled. ‘I really am so happy for you. I just can’t believe you’re going to move.’
‘Querida! You went first, remember? Culinary school in Cali? As if there aren’t perfectly good schools on the East Coast. But you came back, and I will, too. Besides, I have something that might make you feel better.’
‘What?’ Emmy asked. She said it petulantly, like a stubborn, curious child.
‘I think you’re really, really going to like it.’
‘What? Tell me! What?’
‘Well, I was wondering if you wouldn’t want to live in my apartment while I’m gone. And’ – she paused dramatically and turned to Leigh, who was just staring at her – ‘you, too, querida. I didn’t realize you two were planning to live together, but what could be more perfect than my place? I spoke to my parents and they were thrilled about Emmy staying there, and I’m sure they’ll love it even more if you’d both be there. Three bedrooms, rent-free, of course, with only two caveats: You have to send them their mail wherever they are once a week, and you have to deal with their occasional visit to New York. Which should be significantly less frequent since I won’t be here. What do you both think?’