“She’s back at the hotel with our manny, Mason.”
“I would love to meet her.” I smiled.
Ellery smiled back and we went back to our table. The four of us talked a bit more and then called it a night. We dropped Connor and Ellery off at their hotel.
“They’re a great couple,” I said to Ian.
“Yes, they are. They’re probably two of the nicest people I’ve ever met,” he said as he put his arm around me and tried to pull me closer. I resisted. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. I’m just tired.”
He hadn’t shown any type of affection towards me all night and then the minute Connor and Ellery got out of the limo, he wanted to touch me.
“Why are you so tired? Are you feeling okay?”
“Yes, I’m feeling fine.”
Ian removed his arm from me and sighed. As Joshua pulled up to the house, Ian climbed out and held out his hand.
“Oh, now you want to help me out of the limo?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he snapped.
“At the restaurant, you didn’t help me at all. You just stood there.”
“I did? I didn’t realize.”
I smacked his hand out of the way and got out myself. I just wanted to go to sleep.
“Wow, Rory. You have issues,” he said as he followed me up the stairs.
“Don’t come into my room,” I spat as I slammed the door in his face.
“You need to talk to me, Rory, and tell me what’s going on with you. If you’re upset, you need to talk to me about it.”
I stood in my room in silence. “Fine, Rory. Suit yourself,” he said as he slammed his door.
****
The next morning, Ian didn’t say a word to me. Connor and Ellery came over and the men left to go golfing. Joshua drove Ellery and me around for the day.
“She’s so adorable, Ellery,” I said as I held Julia.
“Thank you. She’s our entire world. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on with Ian? I noticed that the two of you weren’t speaking.”
“I’m sorry. Things with Ian are complicated, and I don’t know how much more I can take,” I said as we walked into a little boutique.
“Ian is a complicated man. Like I told you last night, he reminds me a lot of how Connor was when we first met.”
“Really?” I said as I looked through the racks.
“Yes. Let me guess. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Ellery asked me.
“Yes, I am.”
“Have you told him?”
Julia started to whine and Ellery took her from me. “No. He keeps saying he doesn’t do relationships. I feel like his own personal call girl.”
“Aw, sweetie. You need to tell him how you feel. If you don’t, you’ll keep arguing. When Connor finally admitted to me that he was in love with me, it changed everything. We’ve had our ups and downs and we struggled to get where we are today, but it was all worth it because it strengthened our relationship and made us realize that we couldn’t live without each other.”
“What the two of you have is rare,” I said.
“No, it’s not. Two people who truly love each other can have it too. I noticed the way Ian looked at you last night. I saw something in him that I’d never seen before. If it was truly meant to be for the two of you, then it will happen. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to make them see what they’d lose if we were gone.”
“Really?”
“You’ve heard the saying, ‘Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone,’ right?”
I nodded my head. “Yes, I’ve heard it.”
“I believe that sometimes people need to open their eyes and see what’s standing in front of them and how it could be gone in an instant.”
“You’re right. Maybe I’ll talk to him tonight. Thanks, Ellery.” I smiled.
“You’re welcome, sweetie. Don’t worry; everything will work out if it’s meant to be. Fate has a strange way of throwing two people together.”
We got in the limo and went back to the house. Ian and Connor were already back from their golf game and were sitting on the patio, having some drinks.
“Well, you’re finally back. Did the two of you have fun?” Connor asked as he got up from his seat, kissed Ellery on the lips, and took Julia from her arms.
“We had a great time.” She smiled.
Ian looked at me and then looked down. I had a headache, so I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen from the cabinet. I shook two pills into my hand and chased them down with a bottle of water. When I walked back out to the patio, Connor and Ellery were gone and Ian was holding Julia. I stopped and stared at him. Seeing him holding a baby was just about as sexy as him being naked.
“She’s adorable. Isn’t she?” I said.
“Yeah, she’s pretty cute.”
“Where are Connor and Ellery?”
“They went down to the beach for a minute. Connor just handed her to me.”
Julia started to fuss and I could tell Ian became nervous. “Here, take her,” he said as he handed her over to me.
I took her and, instantly, she stopped fussing. She looked at me and put her hand on my face. Ian stared at me and with a smile he said, “You’re a natural with babies.”
Connor and Ellery walked back up to the patio and Ellery took Julia inside. Their plane was leaving soon and they had to get back to the hotel and fetch Mason. Ian and Connor shook hands and lightly hugged. Apparently, they had sealed their business deal on the golf course. I hugged Connor and Ellery goodbye, gave Julia a kiss, and they left. Ellery was kind of enough to give me her phone number and told me to call her if I just wanted to talk or if I ever needed anything. I had just made two new friends. Too bad they lived in New York.
I went up to my room and Ian followed me. “I think we need to talk about last night,” he said.
I guessed this was as good a time as any to let it all out. “Yeah, you’re right. We do.”
Ian walked up to me and ran the back of his hand down my cheek. “What’s going on with you lately? You seem distant, like you were when I first brought you here.”
I didn’t know what to say. Actually, I did, but I didn’t know how to say it. My stomach was twisted in knots and I felt like I was going to vomit. This was it. The words I was about to say were going to either make us or break us and I had a feeling it was going to break us.
“I love you, Ian.”
He looked at me and then turned around and ran his hands through his hair. “No, you don’t, Rory. You just think you do.”
“You’re wrong, Ian,” I said as I grabbed his arm. “I’m in love with you.”
“You’re in love with what I’ve done for you, not me.”
Now I was pissed. Who the hell was he to deny me my feelings for him? “No, I appreciate what you’ve done for me, but I’m in love with you, Ian Braxton. I’m in love with you as a person. Sure, you piss me off sometimes, but I still love you. I want us. I want us to be something special to each other.”
He turned around and looked at me. “You’re loving the wrong person because I’m not in love with you.”
Those words. Those six, god awful words. I felt like I’d been stabbed all over again. In fact, the pain I just felt was worse than that.
“I don’t believe you,” I said as a tear fell from my eye. “How can you stand there and say that to me? What are you so afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid of anything. It’s just how I feel. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you. It’s the last thing I want to do, but you’re being ridiculous.”
“I’m ridiculous because I told you that I loved you? You saved me and you made me fall in love with you. You took my soul and you stole my heart. I’m a human being and I have feelings.”
Ian looked away from me and slowly shook his head. “Maybe I was the fool for thinking that you wouldn’t fall in love with me. I told you before that this is me. This is how I am
and you can either accept it or—”
“Or what, Ian?!” I yelled. “I think this has something to do with your mother leaving you as a child.”
The rage in his eyes grew even more as he turned and looked at me. I could see the fire behind the color. “Don’t you ever bring my mother up again! This has nothing to do with her.”
“Really? Because you want to hear what I think?”
“NO! Actually, I don’t.”
“Well, too bad. I think you’re scared to love anyone. You won’t let anyone in because you’re afraid they’ll leave you, like she did.”
“Bullshit. You know nothing, Rory. So spare me your stupid little insights because you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!”
“You’ve let your father poison you all these years with his view of women since your mother left. Did it ever occur to you that she left for a reason?”
“I’m warning you, Rory. Stop right now. Just because I don’t love you, doesn’t mean you have to bring my mother into this,” he said with sadness.
I couldn’t hold it together anymore. Hearing him say that he didn’t love me was a thousand knives through my heart.
“I want the truth. When I woke up after you brought me here, you said that you saved my life and that you did something for me and I would have to do something for you. Is that when you decided you wanted to have sex with me without using a condom? I need the truth, Ian. Tell me the fucking truth!” I yelled.
He looked at me with such sadness as he whispered no. “I’m sorry, Rory,” he said as he took a step closer to me. I never meant to—”
“Stop,” I said as I put up my hand. “Don’t come any closer to me, please.” I couldn’t take any more of his bullshit. The way he manipulated me with his touch, his kiss, and his words.
“I can’t give you what you want. I wish I could, but I can’t,” he said.
At that moment, I realized that I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t be his friend with benefits, his call girl, or whatever the hell I was to him. The tears were now flowing uncontrollably.
“Sweetheart, please,” he said.
I put my finger up. “I am not your sweetheart,” I said through gritted teeth.
“I’m sorry, Rory,” he said as he walked out and shut the door.
I couldn’t breathe. It felt like a ton of bricks was sitting on my chest. I got down on the floor and crawled into the corner. I curled into a ball and silently cried. After about an hour, I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My mascara-stained eyes were red and swollen and my face had streaks going down it. I washed my face and sat down on the bed. My head was pounding and I just wanted to sleep. I had to make a plan to leave. I picked up my phone and sent Adalynn a text message.
“I need your help, please.”
“What happened, sweetie? Are you okay?”
“I need to leave here and I haven’t gotten word yet on my apartment.”
“Enough said. You can stay here for as long as you need to.”
“Thank you. I’ll call a cab because I can’t take the car.”
“We can pick you up?”
“No, I don’t want to run the risk of Ian seeing you. I’ll see you soon. Thank you.”
“See you soon and I’ll open a bottle of wine and box of chocolates.”
I took the bag down from the closet shelf and packed everything I needed. I stood in the full-length mirror and stared at the necklace Ian gave me. The most beautiful gift anyone had ever given me. I removed it from my neck and laid it out on the dresser. I jumped when I heard the front door slam. I zipped my bag and left it on the bed while I went and checked the house. I walked down the hall to Ian’s bedroom, and I nervously knocked on the door.
“Ian?” I called.
There was no answer. I slowly opened the door and gasped when I saw the mess. The room was in shambles. All the blankets were ripped off the bed, the chair and end table were turned over, and there were clothes lying all over the floor. I walked back to my room and called the cab service. As I grabbed my bag from the bed, I walked downstairs and hit the keys on the piano one last time before I left. I heard a horn beep and I stepped outside. I threw my bag in the back of the cab and gave the driver Adalynn’s address. As the cab started to pull away, I softly placed my hand on the window as a single tear fell from my eye.
Chapter 24
“Aw, sweetie, come here,” Adalynn said as she held her arms out to me and Daniel took my bag.
“Adalynn, I—I…”
“I know, sweetie. Let’s go sit down and you can tell me what happened.”
She led me over to the couch and Daniel brought the bottle of wine and the box of chocolates over and set them on the table. I told Adalynn everything that Ian said.
“What a prick. I don’t know what the hell’s the matter with him! I’ve seen the way he looks at you and how his eyes light up when you walk into the room. He’s done things for you that he’s never done for other women before, including me. Maybe I should have a talk with him.”
“No, please don’t. Please. He’s hurt me so much. I need to tell you something, but you have to promise me you will never ever repeat it. Promise me, Adalynn.”
“Sweetie, I promise.”
“Ian’s mother didn’t die. She left him when he was a child.”
“What?! Are you serious?”
“Yes, and he’s still so angry about it and I think that’s the reason why he’s closed himself off from loving anyone. I think he’s afraid I’ll leave him like his mom did.”
“Wow. He told you that?”
“Yes, he told me she left. I’m just assuming the other is his problem.”
Adalynn reached for a glass of wine and handed it to me. “Drink this, you’ll feel better.”
I heard my phone beep. I pulled it out of my purse and nearly had a heart attack when I saw it was from Ian.
“I figured you’d leave. Have a nice life, Rory.”
I put my hand over my mouth as the tears kept coming.
“Don’t respond to him,” Adalynn said as she took the phone from my hand and set it on the table.
We drank a few glasses of wine and ate half the box of chocolates. Adalynn showed me to the guest room and I climbed into bed. I kept staring at the text message Ian sent me. I already missed him and I wanted to go back, but he was toxic for me. Andrew was right; he’d get tired of me and move on. I needed to think of my future. I did the unthinkable. I sent him a text message.
“You left me no choice.”
A few moments later, he responded.
“I’m sorry you felt that way.”
I set my phone down on the nightstand and cried for hours. The emptiness I felt was horrific and I didn’t realize that I’d grown so dependent on him. The need I felt for him scared me, and as much as I wanted to believe I was strong, I wasn’t. I was back to that weak little girl from Indiana.
The next morning, I opened my eyes, but I couldn’t gather enough strength to get out of bed. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I never wanted to get out of bed again. The door slowly opened and Adalynn peeked her head through.
“Good morning. I brought you some coffee.”
I sat up and took the cup from her.
“I’m not going to ask you how you are because I already know.”
I looked down as I sipped my coffee. “I miss him so much, Adalynn.”
“I know you do,” she said as she took a hold of my hand. “I have to go on a business trip tomorrow for Prim and you’re coming with me. I think it would be good for you to get out of Malibu and get your mind off of Ian.”
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Paris.” She smiled.
“Adalynn, there’s no way. I don’t even have a passport.”
“No worries about that. Daniel is getting you one. It’ll be ready today. He has connections. We just need to get your picture. So get out of bed and doll yourself up.” She smiled.
?
??I don’t know.”
“Rory. There’s no better cure than Paris for a broken heart. Wait, isn’t Paris the city of love? Oh well, listen, you’ll be surrounded by hot French men, French coffee, French chocolates, and best of all, French fucking pastries!”
I let out a laugh.
“I already purchased your ticket, it’s non-refundable, and we’re flying first class.”
I got out of bed, showered, got dressed, and had my picture taken for my passport. My heart was heavy and I still found it hard to breathe. Adalynn tried to get me to eat, but I couldn’t. Every bite of food I took made me feel sick. Adalynn said she had a few things to pick up before we left tomorrow, and she asked if I would go with her after she finished up at the office. Daniel dropped me off at Prim and, as I walked into her office, I saw Ian sitting in the chair across from her desk.
“Rory, what a nice surprise,” Adalynn said as her eyes widened.
Ian turned around and our eyes met. “I—I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were in a meeting,” I said nervously as I turned around and sprinted down the hall. I had to get out of there. My heart was racing and my breathing felt constricted. I pushed the button to the elevator a hundred times, thinking that it would magically make the door open faster. I didn’t know where the stairs were, so I couldn’t take them. I felt a hand lightly grab my arm and turn me around. It was him.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. Please, Rory, I don’t want to end things on a bad note.”
“It’s too late for that,” I spat as I jerked my arm out of his grip.
“I can’t give you what you want. I wish I could.”
“And I can’t give you what you want,” I said as a tear streamed down my face. “Please, just let me heal.”
He put his hand on my cheek, and for the first time since I’d known him, I saw his eyes fill with tears. “Fuck,” he whispered as he shook his head and walked away.
****
We landed and I couldn’t believe I was in Paris. I listened to music and slept most of the way. My eyes filled with tears a few times, but I managed to stop them. Even though I was with Adalynn, I still felt lost and alone. I felt like my world had crumbled, and I was left lying on the ground under a rubble of pain. I paid a visit to Stephen before I left and told him that I had to go on a trip. I spoke with the management at Hudson Rock and they told me that it would be okay to Skype with him on visiting days, during visiting hours.