I looked away and tried not to cry. I felt the tears right under the surface. “I thought vampires didn’t cry,” I muttered in annoyance.
He laughed softly and brushed my hair out of my face. “It will go away with time. It takes a few years for us to lose most of our human emotion. I am kind of glad you want to cry.”
I smiled sadly and shook my head. “Why is he keeping me here? What does he have to gain?”
“I haven’t figured that out, but I will. I will find a way to break this link he has created, so you can be free.” He moved closer to me as he spoke.
I knew he was going to kiss me, and I was anticipating the feeling of his lips on mine. He gently pressed his lips into mine. I closed my eyes and pressed my body to his. The sudden searing pain on my hand made me cry out, and I pulled away from him. I looked down at my hand and it had a burn. I looked over at Cornelius, and he smiled, amused. He was sitting next to a candle. I knew he did it, and it infuriated me more. I started to advance on him, but Aubrey caught my wrist.
“He will only make you suffer more if you play his game,” Aubrey said softly.
“What else am I supposed to do?” I asked angrily. “I am stuck here until he gets bored.”
Aubrey looked away, then looked back at me. “Maybe you are safer here. At least you are in control here.”
I looked at him, startled. “How could you say that after all he has done?”
Aubrey shook his head and looked away. “He is a vampire. He is no different than me. He can help you control yourself and learn yourself better than I can.”
I pulled my hand out of his and glared at him angrily. “I can’t believe you would say that. Obviously I am as important to you as I was beginning to think!” I said. When he didn’t respond, I turned and walked away. I hurried back up the stairs away from him and away from Cornelius. I didn’t want to be near either of them. I preferred to take my chances on my own at this point.
I paced my room, trying to decide what to do. I could try to run, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t get far. Cornelius had a close watch on me. Not to mention he could make me do whatever he wanted. I was trapped, and Aubrey, my only hope for escape, thought I should stay.
Chapter 24
I opened my eyes. I wasn’t in my room. I was in a bed with curtains all the way around it. I looked down at myself. I was naked. The curtains moved to the side, and Cornelius smiled down at me. I looked at him, confused. “What the hell is going on?” I asked nervously.
He climbed over me. He was completely naked. My eyes wandered his body. He was a very good-looking man, like Aubrey. He smiled down at me. “Relax, Lillian; this is just a dream. We can have sex in a dream,” he whispered, and pressed his lips to mine.
I pushed him off me and sat up. “What about Aubrey?” I said, worried. If I slept with Cornelius I would lose Aubrey. He was saying it was a dream, but it didn’t feel like one.
“Aubrey left you behind. He doesn’t want you. You are no longer human. He doesn’t want a monster,” he whispered, as he laid kisses over my shoulder.
“That isn’t true,” I whispered, trying to hide the sadness in my voice.
“I believe he said it to you, my dear. I am the only one that wants you now,” he said softly as he ran his hands up my arms. He laid gentle kisses along my neck. I closed my eyes. I felt myself starting to enjoy his touch. I stood abruptly when I realized what I was letting him do….
I woke up with a start. The room was dark and I was alone. I was completely dressed. I groaned in relief and collapsed back on the bed. It was just a dream. I wasn’t actually thinking about having sex with Cornelius. I wouldn’t betray Aubrey like that. I didn’t understand why I would have a dream like that. It made me a little uneasy.
I felt the hunger just below the surface. I stood and walked to the window. I peeked out, then looked at the clock. It was just after dusk. I’d slept through the day and hadn’t even realize it.
I walked to the door and stepped out into the hall. Cornelius was walking toward my room. He smiled and waved a bag of blood in front of me. “I was looking forward to the fight.”
I scowled and snatched the bag from him. “I will eat it on my own.” I turned to walk back into my room, and he caught me around the waist.
I felt his lips brush my ear, and my thoughts went back to the dream. “Sex in a dream isn’t a betrayal.”
I turned and glared at him. “You made me have that dream, didn’t you?” I asked angrily.
He smiled playfully. “I was bored. I almost had you.”
I scoffed. “No, you didn’t,” I muttered, as I opened the door and walked back into my room. I slammed the door and sat down on my bed. I looked down at the bag of blood. It really didn’t look appealing, and I knew it tasted horrible compared to the real thing.
My door opened and Cornelius walked. “You look so enthusiastic over that bag of blood. I can still get you the real thing. We could feed together. It would strengthen our bond.”
“I don’t want to strengthen our bond, you ass,” I growled, and turned so I was facing away from him. I felt him climb on the bed. I rolled my eyes when his hands touched my shoulders. “Go away.”
He laughed softly as he took the bag from my hand and pulled the cap off. He leaned me back against his chest and pressed the bag to my lips. I didn’t fight; I knew if I did, he would just force me. I closed my eyes as the cold blood filled my mouth. I slowly drank. Even though it wasn’t great, it was still nourishing.
I felt his hand stray lower to my belly. I was a little nervous about how brazen he was being, but I didn’t argue. He fingers gently tapped on my belly as I fed. When the bag was empty, I groaned, disappointed. I wanted more. “Can I have more?” I asked softly.
“Of course,” he said amused. “Charlotte is bringing more.”
After a few minutes Charlotte opened the door and handed him a bag. “She can’t feed herself?” she asked haughtily.
“Go, Charlotte,” he ordered.
She rolled her eyes and marched out, leaving us alone. Cornelius opened the second bag and pressed it to my lips. I slowly drank, savoring this bag. The first bag I’d consumed quickly. I wanted this bag to last. Once it was empty, I sat up. I felt better, more relaxed, stronger.
Cornelius pressed his lips to my neck. I felt my stomach tighten in pleasure. I didn’t like the feeling, so I immediately stood. I turned and glared at him. “I am not having sex with you,” I growled. I hated how he made me feel. I wanted to hate him, and he was making it impossible.
He sighed and laid back on the bed. A lazy smile played at his lips. “How long is it going to take you to realize Aubrey doesn’t want you anymore? I can give you everything you could ever want, but you still push me away. Why?”
“I don’t want to be a monster like you! I want to be free. I want to be with Aubrey. I love Aubrey!” I said angrily.
He scowled and stood. “Fine. You are free. Go to Aubrey. Tell him how you feel, but do not come running back to me when he rejects you.” He turned and stormed out.
I stood looking at the door, not sure what to do. I wanted to go. I wanted to run to Aubrey, but I was afraid Cornelius was right. What if Aubrey no longer wanted me? The fear I would leave and not be allowed to come back seemed irrational, but it was there. I was afraid to find out Cornelius was telling the truth, that I wouldn’t have anywhere to go. As fucked up as Cornelius was, he could have been a lot worse. He could force me to feed on humans, but he didn’t.
I sat down on the bed, unable to make up my mind. I didn’t want to stay, but I was afraid to leave. Maybe this was another one of Cornelius’s mind tricks. I suddenly realized I felt very alone and cold. I was actually scared. I never used to be scared. It had to be Cornelius’s doing. I stood with my fists clenched and stepped toward the door. I put my hand on the knob, then hesitated. The fear was stifling. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to the door. The cool wood made me focus a little better. Maybe I should wait and see wh
at happened. Aubrey had suggested I stay with Cornelius. There had to be a reason for it.
I cussed and turned away from the door. I walked to the window, and looked out. It was after dark, and I knew the party would be in full swing downstairs. I could hear the music, and if I focused I could hear voices.
I felt my cheek dampen and realized I was crying. I angrily wiped the tears away and turned away from the window. I was hungry and afraid. I wanted to run, and I wanted to stay. I was so confused I could barely think straight. I walked to my bed and lay down. I felt so weak and tired. I knew it was because I was fighting so hard against feeding, but I was so afraid of becoming a monster if I allowed myself to like it.
***
I woke up with a start. My door opened, and Cornelius stood there. I rolled onto my side, so my back was to him. “Leave me alone,” I muttered.
“I didn’t even think you would be here. What are you doing here?” he asked, as he came into the room and shut the door.
“I don’t really know,” I said softly. I was relieved that I hadn’t started crying immediately.
He climbed on the bed and lay next to me. I immediately felt safer, but I didn’t like the feeling. It was confusing. I didn’t want to feel safe with him; I wanted to be with Aubrey. I quickly pushed the thought away. The fear that Aubrey would reject me was too much to bear.
“Has Aubrey called or checked in on me?” I asked quietly hoping he did, but I had a feeling he didn’t.
“He just saw you last night. It is not like Aubrey to continually check on someone. Besides, deep down, I am sure he knows you are safe.” He was obviously trying to let me down easy. I knew Aubrey hadn’t called; I was just hoping he had.
I sat up trying to get rid of the feeling of overwhelming sadness. “How do I stop feeling so miserable?” I asked angrily.
“You start enjoying what you are instead of fighting it. You are starving yourself, so your powers cannot manifest. You have no idea what your abilities are because you won’t nourish yourself enough to let them out. The emotions will go, eventually, if you focus on other things. Everything is only overwhelming because you are determined to fight,” he said softly.
“I’m afraid that if I let go, I won’t be the same person,” I said, trying not to cry.
He moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. “You are not the same person, love. You are much better than you were. Stronger, faster, more beautiful. Change isn’t always bad,” he whispered. His lips brushed my ear, and I could feel my body start to give in to him. I fought the urge and stood. I turned and looked at him.
He looked slightly disappointed, but amused. “Can I go see Aubrey? I will come back, I just have to see him,” I begged. I didn’t want to have nowhere to come back to, but I wanted to talk to Aubrey. I needed him to tell me how he really felt.
He sighed relenting. “Yes, you may go see him…” I felt my heart leap. He was going to let me go. “On one condition,” he continued.
I suddenly didn’t feel as enthusiastic. “What condition?” I asked nervously.
“You feed with me. You are hungry, and I won’t let you go out starving. You will end up doing something you will regret, and we are not like humans. Our regrets last much longer,” he said, as he climbed to his feet.
I shifted nervously, watching him. He was right. I needed to feed before I left. I would have preferred bagged blood, but bagged blood wasn’t going to work forever, and I knew it. “Okay,” I said softly.
His smiled widened. “Excellent,” he said, standing. He offered his hand to me. I slipped my hand in his, and he led me out of the room.
He led me down the stairs to where the party was going on. It was a little after midnight. I would feed; then I would go find Aubrey. I really wanted to get it over with. I would have much rather been in Aubrey’s company then Cornelius’s.
He led me into the main room, and several women and men rushed over to Cornelius. They were all humans offering themselves to him. My mouth watered, and Cornelius tightened his grip on my hand. He obviously sensed I was on the edge of losing control. I could hear and smell their blood. The hunger was almost stifling. I was a little relieved that Cornelius had insisted I feed before I left.
“Pick one, love,” Cornelius whispered as he moved closer to me.
I looked over their faces. They were all so eager to please. I could see why the vampires were so arrogant and self-entitled. The human’s admiration and dedication was a little overwhelming. I was wondering if it was forced by Cornelius, or if they truly wanted to be there. The thought didn’t linger long in my mind; I was quickly distracted by a young male who grabbed me around the waist. It was the same guy that Cornelius had sent to my room. I had tasted him before, and I remembered how good he tasted. It was all I could think about as I breathed in his scent. “This one,” I said softly.
“Good choice,” Cornelius said, amused. He took the guy’s hand and led him along with us. The others remained where they were, as if Cornelius had given them a silent order.
Cornelius released my hand and took a seat in a private cluster of couches. He pulled the young man into his lap and exposed his neck. My eyes went to the man’s pulse, and it took everything I had not too lunge for it. “Listen carefully, Lillian. I am going to show you where you can bite him on the neck. If you bite him wrong, you will kill him quickly. Understand?”
I nodded, shifting my gaze momentarily back to Cornelius’s eyes to make sure he knew I was paying attention. Cornelius began explaining how and where to bite the man. The man just watched me patiently. He was completely unafraid. I would have been terrified if I were in his shoes. Then again, I knew vampires had extreme influence over humans. Maybe he actually loved Cornelius, in a way. He seemed to treat them all like pets. They were all well-dressed, well-groomed, and they wore expensive jewelry.
“Ready?” Cornelius asked, smiling. He saw my eagerness. He knew I was hungry, and he was having fun.
I nodded and stepped forward. I leaned over, trying to control the urge to attack. Even as docile as he was being, I still wanted to hurt him, and it scared me. “What if I hurt him?” I asked, hesitating.
“You won’t. I won’t let you. Christopher is one of my favorites,” he said.
I nodded and moved in. I felt Christopher’s pulse quicken as my lips touched his skin. I slowly sunk my fangs into his neck. Hot blood filled my mouth, and I groaned. I drank greedily, savoring how good he tasted. I felt my body start to hum. It felt like I was coming to life for the first time since I was turned.
I grasped his shoulders and buried my face deeper into his neck. His body pressed to mine. He groaned, and I could feel his erect cock pressing against my belly.
“Enough, Lillian,” Cornelius said firmly, but I didn’t pull away. I wanted more. “Enough!” he said, louder; then I went sailing backwards. I landed with a thud against the wall. I was slightly dazed, so I didn’t move immediately. I licked my lips, savoring the high the blood gave me. It felt so incredibly good, almost like the after-effects of an orgasm.
Cornelius knelt next to me and smiled as he brushed my hair out of my face. “You are eager, that’s for sure,” he said, amused.
“I didn’t hurt him, did I?” I asked nervously.
He laughed. “No, I believe you did a little more than feed from him.” I was a little confused, but he didn’t elaborate. He offered his hand and pulled me to my feet. “There is a car waiting outside. He will take you to Aubrey, then bring you back when you are ready.”
“Thank you,” I said excitedly, as I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. He stiffened, like he didn’t expect the response. I didn’t really understand why I’d hugged him. I was just so excited.
I turned and hurried out before he could change his mind, or force me to stay.
***
The car ride was agonizing. I felt like I had so much energy and nothing to do with it. Feeding on Christopher was far better than the bagged blood, but I wa
s still hesitant. I didn’t think I would ever be able to feed on my own without Cornelius there to stop me. The thought bothered me a little. I was starting to accept Cornelius as part of my life, despite all he had done. There was a part of me that knew I should hate him, but I couldn’t get that part to work all the time.
I was starting to understand Cornelius. In a way, he was right. The hunters were just as brutish as the vampires. Hunters killed vampires the way vampires killed humans. It was survival; that was all each group was trying to do. Now that I was on the other side, I began to understand it all.
The car pulled up outside Aubrey’s club, tearing me from my thoughts. I quickly climbed out of the car, and hurried down the alley to the entrance of the club. I walked inside, and the place was the same as it had always been. I scanned the room, but Aubrey was nowhere in sight. I hurried through the main part of the club to the back, where Aubrey’s rooms were.
“Lillian, what are you doing here?” Justin asked as he caught my arm.
I looked at him, confused by his sudden appearance. “I need to see Aubrey.”
“Aubrey’s preoccupied,” he said softly. He would barely meet my gaze. I felt my heart wrench at the thought. He was with someone else. Justin was just trying to tell me nicely.
I yanked my hand out of his, and walked toward Aubrey’s room. I was angry. I could feel it burning inside me. It was almost blinding. Justin went to grab me again. I slapped his hand away and shoved him. I was a little startled by my own strength; he went sailing into the wall and crumpled to the floor. I considered going after him, but I wanted to see who Aubrey was with. I was too focused on his door.
My hand touched the handle. I heard a female voice giggle, then Aubrey’s low tone as he talked to her. I felt my anger burn hotter. I was so angry I could barely see straight. Don’t do something you will regret, a voice in my head said softly. It was Cornelius. I could hear him and feel him. The anger dissipated, and it was replaced by sadness, a horrible sadness that overwhelmed me. I stifled a cry as I pressed my hand to my mouth. I backed into the wall and slid to the floor. I felt like my heart had been torn from my chest. I didn’t even open the door. I didn’t have to. I knew what I was going to find.