The next morning found Brenna with her usual post-nightmare headache. She felt they were getting worse and for the first time she entertained the thought of seeing a doctor, something Molly had nagged her about for some time.
After letting Zoe and the cats out the back door, she took a minute to enjoy the fresh air and sun. Her heart constricted at the thought of Mrs. Rodriguez waking up alone again this morning...if she had slept at all. She brushed her hair back from her face and closed the screen door, shrugging off the memory of that night with the professional reserve she had perfected over the years. Tried to perfect, that is. If she had perfected it, maybe she wouldn’t have burned out.
Brenna felt depression begin to settle over her like a blanket and before it could cover her, she went to the CD player, put in an upbeat CD and turned up the sound. With the music resonating through the house, she started her morning coffee, then filled Zoe’s food dish and put it near her chair out back. Choosing a china mug covered with purple pansies, she filled it with coffee and, grabbing a banana, went outside for breakfast. She left the back door open and could hear the upbeat music through the screen door. Putting her head back, she soaked up the warm morning sun and began to feel better.
The phone rang as she was finishing her coffee and she darted through the kitchen to get it, leaving Zoe sprawled on the warm concrete walk. Turning down the CD player, she answered breathlessly. “Hello?”
Adam laughed. “You running a marathon or something?”
“No, I was just out back; it’s so nice out.”
“That’s why I called. Want to go for a run before I go to work?”
“That’d be great. I’ll meet you at the access road. Is ten thirty good?”
“Great, see you then.”
Brenna’s spirits definitely lifted, she ran upstairs to change.
Adam and Max were already on the beach playing catch with driftwood when Brenna and Zoe arrived. After some warm-up stretches, they started south down the beach.
“So, how are you doing after the call the other night? I would’ve called yesterday, but I had to go in early and then do overtime,” Adam told her.
“It’s not an experience I care to repeat. I mean, I wanted to go because I was curious, but it was very depressing. I know somebody has to volunteer to do that stuff, I would want someone to help me, but I just can’t deal with it right now.”
“That’s okay, nobody’s expecting anything from you. I just thought it would be interesting for you to see how we operate.”
“Well, it was interesting. I was surprised to see Wendy there, I didn’t know her boyfriend was a firefighter,” Brenna said.
“Oh, yeah, he’s been with us since he graduated, a couple years now. That’s Vince O’Brien, he’s a good guy. He works down at Jim and Cece’s store.”
“Oh, really? I didn’t notice him, but I was new in town when I went there. Well, newer, anyway.”
“He and Wendy have been going out for a couple years now; they’re pretty serious.”
“Good, I think she deserves a nice guy. She’s going to help me plan the shower for Gary’s wife. If she can come, that is; this pregnancy’s not going well. She might find herself on complete bedrest.”
“That’s a bum deal. They’re really looking forward to this baby.”
Too soon, Brenna recognized the grove of trees near where Jared had been lost. She pointed it out to Adam. "This stretch always reminds me of Jared."
He nodded. "Yeah, that happens. There are places around town and on the highway that remind me of some tragedy every time I drive by. But there are also places that remind me of good things; the time we delivered a baby in a car on the roadside, the times our friends' accidents weren't as bad as we thought they'd be. The problem in a small town is that you usually know the people you're going to help."
Brenna nodded as they turned to run north. Always helping friends was a new concept to her; her patients had nearly always been strangers. That had been hard enough.
They ran in silence for a time and then Brenna remembered her dream.
“Adam, I dreamed about your grandmother’s house burning down last night.”
“You’re kidding!” He stared at her briefly before returning his eyes to the beach in front of him.
“No, I wish I were; it was so sad. Helena was sixty so it was 1990, like you said, and it was in the middle of the night. Martin was away on a business trip and Helena woke up to the flames and smoke. She ran down there and your grandparents were standing in the middle of the road, waiting for the fire trucks. Your grandfather had tried to put it out with the hose, but it got too hot for him and your grandmother pulled him back. They got their pets out, but lost everything else, all their pictures and family momentos.”
“I can’t believe it, that’s just what I heard. It was a terrible fire. But do you know what Helena and Martin did? On top of giving them whatever they could to help, they got copies of all the pictures they’d taken together with our family and arranged them in an album. Helena dug out photos of places they’d vacationed together, postcards, party invitations, and tried her best to recreate the past for them. She even made them a new quilt for their new bed.”
Brenna smiled. “Sounds like Helena, doesn’t it? Should we nominate her for sainthood or did the woman ever do anything wrong?”
“Well, if she did, Grandma didn’t tell me about it. Grandma said she did have terrible bouts of depression, usually in the winter.”
Brenna nodded. “That’s not unusual, especially in the northwest.”
“Sometimes when Grandma had a baby, Helena didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. Sometimes she had to keep her distance for a while, but she always came around again. It was hard when my grandparents decided to move north of town instead of rebuilding on the old site, but Grandpa was having heart trouble by then and they wanted to be closer to the hospital.”
They slowed to a walk to cool down and wiped their sweaty foreheads. The dogs trotted in circles around them and then sat down, panting.
Brenna leaned over, bracing her hands on her knees. “So you work today?”
“Until midnight, just filling in for the evening.”
“Ruth's coming over tomorrow morning. You want to come and have lunch with us?”
“Sure. I have to go to work at three. How about noon?”
“Good, that’ll give us time to go over the stuff you already know.”
She swung her hand up in a high-five and he slapped her hand, but then held onto it. Her heart jumped as he pulled her a little closer.
“So, where do we go from here, Brenna? I mean, we’ve both been hurt more than we needed and I know I’m kind of gun-shy. So, straight out, I guess I’m just kind of asking, are you interested in any kind of relationship; what are you looking for right now?”
Brenna swallowed hard. He was certainly being up front with her, she owed him the same. “It’s kind of hard to just go out on a limb and hang there by yourself. I take it we’re both interested in something more than friendship?”
He nodded slowly. “That’s safe to say.”
“Okay...it scares me, sure. I didn’t expect to have feelings for anyone right now, but I know I have more than friendly feelings toward you.”
Adam smiled. “Same here. I didn’t want any kind of relationship for a long time after Adena...or so I thought. I didn’t expect you.”
So that’s her name, Adena, Brenna thought. A bit more exotic than plain Brenna.
“So...one day at a time?” she asked.
Adam nodded. “Agreed.” He pulled her closer still and kissed her slowly, his own scent again more intoxicating to her than any cologne.
They let go of each others hands and Brenna started for her Blazer, walking backwards, her cheeks red. “See you tomorrow.”
He waved. “Bye. Don’t fall over that driftwood, now.”
She turned just in time to avoid it, blushing. Ohmigod, I’m acting like a schoolgirl! She waved and ran off with Zoe, and Adam and
Max watched until they were out of sight.
That evening, Brenna sat at her vanity and brushed her hair. She stared critically into the mirror, trying to see herself as though through someone else’s eyes. Thick hair, a beautiful shade of auburn but unruly. Medium complexion, not too pale, but nothing spectacular. Blue-gray eyes with thick lashes, one of her better features. Arms still firm, breasts average size and shape. She looked down, legs muscular from running, feet average size. Well, the main theme seemed to be average. What did Adam see in her? She thought about his warm hazel eyes, his smile that lit up his whole face. Oh, well, this was getting her nowhere. She shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, just take one day at a time like they'd agreed. Sighing, she got up to put on her flannel nightgown. As she crawled into bed, she pushed Zoe and Olivia over and took their warm spot, snuggling down into her comforter.
The wind whistled around her body, piercing her nightgown and blowing her hair in her face. She brushed her hair back, looking down to see she was still in the same gown, the little blue roses barely visible in the dark. Her bare feet were cold on the rough black tarmac and she felt a vibration increasing in intensity. Looking up again, she saw to her alarm a small air liner was taxiing down the runway...heading straight for her. She tried to run, but her feet were too heavy and she couldn’t lift them. She could scream, but her cries were blown away in the wind and drowned in the roar of the approaching aircraft. She waved her arms madly, sure the pilot would see her and try to change course. There was no turning or decrease in speed, in fact the plane was picking up speed for lift-off. Finally realizing she had no control over the circumstances, she lowered her arms and waited for the plane to run over her, the faces of people she loved passing through her mind.
A whoosh...and she was standing in the first-class aisle. She barely had time to register the fact she was still alive before she noticed the one passenger seated in the cabin. Helena...was she well enough to be flying? Certainly not alone. She went toward her, grateful her feet would move. She started to address her when Helena looked up and smiled.
“Brenna, my dear. Have you seen my beautiful baby yet?” Helena held a soft, white blanket in her arms.
Afraid, but unable to stop herself, she leaned over and Helena pulled back the folds of the blanket to reveal a small, mummified baby.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” Helena beamed.
Brenna put her hand over her mouth; whether to stifle a gag or a scream, she wasn’t sure. Bolting down the aisle, she pulled back the curtain to the coach section, breaking into a cold sweat. She leaned on a seatback to catch her breath and was hailed by another familiar voice.
“Brenna, what a surprise; come sit by us,dear.” Her mother’s voice echoed through the cabin, empty except for her parents sitting near the back. Brenna ran toward them.
“Oh, mom, you’ve got to help me. Helena’s up front with her dead baby and...” She paused as her mother held out her hands to her...black hands, smoking, skeletal, her wedding ring dangling loosely from her finger. Finally Brenna began to scream as her parents sat in front of her, beckoning to her to sit with them even as their clothes began to smoke and flame and their skin began to blacken and burn away.
She ran for the exit door at the back of the plane only to be met by Adam and Molly, waiting to board. She hadn’t even noticed the plane landing.
“You guys, get off. You can’t take this flight,” she cried, trying to push them back.
Molly laughed. “Come on, Brenna, what could be so bad? We all carry excess baggage.”
Brenna looked at her, puzzled. Who cared about luggage right now? Then Molly opened her overnight bag and showed Brenna the contents...Ariel, the last patient she had lost. Brenna began to scream and tried to open the exit door, now locked behind her. She felt the plane begin to taxi down the runway again.
“No, no, we can’t stay on this plane!”
The pilot’s voice came over the intercom, a woman’s voice, somehow familiar. “Welcome to flight 107, folks. Our destination is Salt Lake City. The weather there is warm and sunny today, highs to be in the mid-seventies. Enjoy your flight.”
The pilot...surely the pilot would listen to her. She turned to Adam for help, but Adam and Molly had already seated themselves and were eating complimentary peanuts. She turned and ran for the pilot’s cabin, passing her parents and Helena once again, their voices echoing behind her. Knocking on the door, she received no response so she tried the doorknob and the door opened to reveal one pilot only, no copilot.
“Please, I know it sounds crazy, but you need to land this plane now!”
“Oh, it will be fine. Go back and take your seat.” The pilot turned and smiled at her...only the pilot’s face was her own.
Gasping, she woke up, covered in a cold sweat. She lay still for a moment, tears in her eyes, her heart pounding. Well, she didn’t need someone to knock her over the head to understand the meaning behind that dream...the plane was carrying her excess baggage alright. But the dream put her in the pilot’s seat and she didn’t feel in control of hardly anything anymore.
Zoe snuffled her worriedly. Finally, she turned on her lamp and after putting on some warm sweats, went downstairs followed by her menagerie, the other two cats having come to sleep with Zoe and Olivia sometime during the night. She started a fire and, grabbing her lavender afghan, curled up tightly on the couch where she spent the rest of the sleepless night.
Chapter 33