Thankfully my mom left for work while I was in the shower. No one knew I had slept all morning. I remember looking at the clock. It was 12:20 pm. I should probably get up and try to make it to my afternoon classes.
Walking up the steps toward the front door of the school, I caught a glimpse of some guy who looked a lot like Joey. He was standing under a tree and was surrounded by a few girls. They were laughing, he was laughing.
It was Joey. I think he saw me too but I can’t be certain. I hope he didn’t see me. I feel so tired. I had to put on extra make-up to hide how tired I really was. I hustled up the steps to avoid any contact.
I was heading towards my locker when I heard my name being called.
“Lindsey!” It was Miss V.
“Could I please see you in my office.” It was clearly a statement rather than a question.
“I actually need to get to class right away,” I said tentatively, trying to feel out her mood.
“Now! Lindsey.”
I followed her down the hall. She didn’t attempt to make chit chat nor did she wait for me to walk with her. She opened the door to her office and motioned for me to take a seat. Not once did she smile.
“You missed a very important practice this morning.”
“I know, I’m sorry, I wasn’t feeling well and…”
“Lindsey, I don’t think I need to hear any excuses. What is going on with you?”
“What do you mean?” I felt defensive.
“When I offered you a position on this team back in September, you had heart. It was easy to tell that you loved the sport because with every game and every practice, you gave it your all. You played hard and that spirit reflected onto some of the other girls on the team. Lately, you have been late for games, and practices. You seem distracted. I hate to do this but with playoffs coming up, I don’t feel I have a choice. You’re off the team Lindsey.”
You’re off the team Lindsey. You’re off the team Lindsey. You’re off the team Lindsey. You’re off the team Lindsey. You’re off the team Lindsey…
I don’t remember leaving her office. Nor do I remember the sound of screeching tires as I walked across the street…
CHAPTER 20A
Killing Time
“Wake up!” hollered the driver.
I just kept walking. I didn’t care about a whole lot of nothing at this point in my life.
“Listen young lady, I was pretty close to running you right over!” shouted the man.
“All right! Thanks, you want a medal or something!” I don’t remember the last time I spoke to a stranger like this but oh well…”
“You kids these days don’t give a damn about anything!” He sped off.
“You got that right,” I said to myself.
I’m so pissed off right now I wish that guy had run me over. Where the hell am I going now anyways? Maybe I’ll just sit at the mall until Chloe and Brittany get out of class.
Sitting at the mall wasn’t such a great idea. I sat at a table in the food court, drank a soda and watched people. Everyone looked so happy and bubbly.
It made me sick. It seemed like there were a lot of young lovey dovey couples. That also made me sick.
Screw them; they probably haven’t experienced the wild side of life like I have. They’re too chicken and uncool. I’m the cool one now, exactly where I want to be. I folded my arms on the table so I could rest my head.
Within seconds I was walking down a dark hallway. It was familiar to me; I know I have been here before. At the end of the hallway I saw the mall. I guess I’m not dreaming. I accidentally dropped my soda, when I bent down to pick it up; I was shocked to discover my hand looked a hundred years old. It was so wrinkled; my nails were long, chipped and yellow. The skin on my hand was almost grey in color.
What the? I looked down at my feet to see old scuffedup granny boots. One didn’t have any laces and one didn’t have a heel. I’ve got to get out of here!
Where’s the bathroom? I hustled as fast as I could, but my body limped and could hardly walk fast, let alone run. What is happening to me!
I finally found the bathroom and rushed up to the mirror. The reflection staring back at me was hideous. There stood an old decrepit woman, missing every second yellow tooth. Grey frizzy hair stuffed loosely under an old dirty hat. My face looked red; the skin on my nose was peeling away. I had sores that oozed pus all over my face!
I heard some toilets flush and two attractive women came up to the sinks. They stared and one rolled her eyes at me.
“You shouldn’t be coming in the mall you know. Do I have to call mall security?” Was she talking to me?
“You need to go back in your alley and use whatever bathroom or I mean hole, you people use.” They both seemed quite disgusted with me and quickly vacated the area.
“Lindsey, is that you?”
“Yes it really is me!” I sat up abruptly and stared right at Chloe and Brittany.
“Be cool, were you sleeping or something?” asked Chloe.
“Yeah, I guess I was,” I said.
“I was pretty tired too this morning, I slept until 2:00 pm and just went to my last class. What are you doing here by yourself anyways?” asked Brittany.
“I got kicked off the volleyball team.”
“Are you serious? Why?” asked Chloe.
“Late for practices, I don’t have heart,” I said mimicking Miss V.
“Well that sure sucks,” said Brittany. She never remembers that I actually play volleyball. Oh well, I guess I don’t.
“We are so going to party this Friday night. Justin and Ryan want to have us over.”
“Great. You guys go with your boyfriends, don’t worry about me,” I mumbled.
“You need to party the most girlfriend! Justin and Ryan have lots of hot friends, you are definitely coming,” insisted Brittany.
“I just can’t wait until this week is over, I’ve got two midterms and two huge papers due,” said Chloe. “I’ll be totally ready to party.”
CHAPTER 21A
When In Doubt, Party!
Chloe was right, this week sucked. I sat in ever y class, stared at the clock and dodged eye contact with the teachers. I spent most of my class time erasing or scraping Joey’s name off all my books and binders. Thank god he’s not in any of my classes. It’s hard enough sitting near his friends and hearing his name being brought up in practically every story. Rumor has it that he’s been seeing someone from Chaparral High. Whatever, it’s not like I care anymore; well maybe just a little bit.
I wrote a mid-term for my Health Science class. I was doing pretty good in that class so I wasn’t too worried about it. That was until the end of the class when we all marked the exam together. I ended up with a 47%. I went into the exam with an 82%. I also flunked math but that’s not surprising, I hate math. I always got 80s in Phys. Ed but because I skipped so many classes last month, I ended up with a 63%. That really brings my overall average down.
I blame Joey and now I blame Miss Van Weldan. I hate them both.
Going to my locker after school was pretty tough. I could hear the Queens get ready for practice. The sound of the smack of a ball, the laughing and kidding around, I can’t deny missing it.
It has been difficult going out when you’re grounded. I have managed to let my parents think I’m at volleyball games or practices this week. Lucky for me, I guess.
Friday night is the city championship. I have a huge problem; my whole family wants to go! It got a little uncomfortable at the dinner table.
“Is the team ready for Friday night’s game?” asked Dad.
“Yeah, pretty much.” Don’t know... don’t care.
“How does the seating work, do we have to buy tickets?”
“Um… yes, you have to buy tickets. But… they’ve all sold out and there is no more seats at all,” I said in one breath. That was easier than I thought.
“Oh no, we were all really looking forward to coming to watch the big game,” mom was dis
appointed. I felt kind of guilty.
“How was school today Aimee?” I asked. When stuck in a corner, change the subject.
“Huh? Good I guess,” Aimee looked at me like I’ve just lost my mind. I’ve never really asked her or really cared how school went for her.
“How is Joey’s team doing this year?” asked mom. Apparently I was not getting off this topic easy.
“Fine… I guess… look, enough questions!” I pushed my chair back and threw my napkin on my untouched plate of food. “I’m full.” I headed upstairs toward my room. I overheard Aimee asking what my problem was. If she only knew, if THEY only knew.
Friday night could not come soon enough. Finally! The best part is that I could escape early, telling my parents that we had to meet at 5:00 pm to warm up for the game. A part of me feels a little sad about tonight. It’s pretty cool that we, I mean they, made it to the city final. I really would like to be part of this important game. Joey would have been so proud.
No doubt he would have come watched and blew me his “I love you” kiss… he was the best… ah! Stop it! I am going to have a lot of fun tonight. I’ll find a new boyfriend easily. It’s not like I ever have a problem meeting the college guys at these parties. Screw Joey. He’s just a big loser.
We got ready to go out over at Chloe’s house. Her mom was having a party and let us each have our own drink! It was pretty cool, I felt like a real grown up.
“Hey guys, meet my Uncle Jim,” Chloe giggled.
“Hello ladies, or should I say divas of the night!” Uncle Jim looked like he stepped right off of the GQ cover, but back in 1985! He totally sent creepy vibes down my back. He was wearing a white T-shirt under a pale blue colored blazer. His hair looked totally wet with all the gel in it. He had more jewelry around his neck than my mother has in her jewelry box! His breath already reeked of alcohol. He almost spilled his drink on Chloe as he threw his arm around her. He was so touchy-feely with Chloe. She didn’t seem to mind.
“Uncle?” I had to question. We’ve been best friends for so long I thought I knew most of her family.
“Well not biological, but an uncle to me.” With that she wrapped her arms around his big beer belly.
I joined Brittany back at the mirror. I already felt a little dizzy from my first couple of sips of my drink but painless and definitely ready to party!
“Here’s to tonight!” Brittany and I tapped our glasses and let out a cheer.
“Justin and Ryan are picking us up at seven o’clock, so that’s in about a half an hour. By that time, we should be feeling pretty fine!” Brittany giggled.
We listened to music, did our hair and make-up and tried on each other’s clothes. I had a strange feeling about tonight. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.
By the time the boys arrived we were all feeling pretty drunk. We dove into the back of the jeep giggling as our skirts practically flew up over our heads.
“Wow, you ladies sure got a head start on partying tonight,” commented Justin.
“Hey Chloe, you’ll never believe who I ran into at a gas station yesterday,” said ryan.
“Who?”
“Our old buddy Adam Foster.”
“Your buddy, NOT mine!”
“Is someone still a little bitter?”
“Whatever.”
“He told me he was single again and looking, I was thinking we should hook him up with Lindsey.”
“Are you crazy? I wouldn’t wish that loser on my worst enemy,” Chloe argued.
“Thanks anyways Ryan but I’m much too familiar with that guy,” I said.
“Would someone tell me about this Adam guy?!” Brittany insisted.
“Later,” Chloe and I said in unison.
“What’s the plan tonight anyways?” I asked.
“Well we thought we’d grab some beer and cruise down by the pier,” Justin replied.
“When it gets darker we’re heading down to the old warehouse.”
“Old warehouse?” Chloe asked.
“Isn’t that where they have those college rave parties?”
“Yeah baby!” Brittany shouted and threw her arms around Justin from behind. “Party all night!”
“Are you going to be able to stay out all night?” Chloe asked.
“I told my mom I was staying over at Jessica’s because we were going out after my so-called game.”
We sat on the pier laughed and drank until it started getting dark. I ended up pretending to be a cheerleader mocking the Queen’s volleyball team.
“Q.U.E.E.N.S. let’s go!” I sang out and did the splits in the air and landed on my back, everyone laughed.
“I hope you lose!” I shouted towards the sky.
“Oh yeah, Kaitlyn called my cell when I was in the washroom, she wanted to know where she and Nikki could meet us tonight. I told her the pier, is there room in the jeep? I told her yes.”
“Take a breath girl and get to the point,” said Justin.
“Oh yeah, anyways, she was telling me that her brother was going out with his girlfriend Laurie and the rest of the team tonight to celebrate. I forgot to tell you Lindsey, they won the city championship.”
“Oh,” I muttered. “Grab me another beer.”
“One more for the road baby.”
We jumped in the jeep and squealed off down the street. With the music blaring it was hard to concentrate on anything else but I was able to spot them walking down the street together. “Them” being the volleyball team all dressed in their warm-up outfits looking like a friggin’ parade. I grabbed a hold of the roll bar and hoisted myself up. I nudged Justin to show him the group and told him to stop. He came to a screeching halt inches away, scaring them half to death.
“What the....!!!!” shrieked Jessica and a few others.
“Hey guys, congrats!” I faked being happy for them.
“Lindsey, is that you?” asked Jessica.
“Oh, has it been that long Jess?” I snarled sarcastically.
“You look different with your clown face make-up and scanky clothes!” The team laughed. I couldn’t expect anything less coming from the big mouth herself.
“We’re heading out to a college party. Did you guys enjoy your soda and Kool-Aid party? Ah, how cute, my little sister would have fit right in.”
“Get a life Lindsey,” said Sara Bartley.
“Get a life Lindsey,” I mocked. I have a life, a pretty cool one. You guys are the ones who need a life!”
“Yeah, you’re right Lindsey! Drugs and alcohol are cool, I so wish I was you!” snapped Jessica. “Let’s go you guys; I’m tired of wasting my time with this moron.”
“Bitch!” I lunged forward in an attempt to grab Jessica but instead I slipped off the side of the jeep and fell on my head.
“Cool one you drunk,” snapped Jessica.
I tried to get up but I just ended up falling backwards against the jeep. Ryan jumped out to help me back in.
“Jessica, why do you have to be so mean!” shouted Chloe.
“She started it! By the way Lindsey, your mother phoned my mom and asked if they were fortunate enough to get “tickets” to the game. You know your parents are cool, it’s too bad you have to lie to them.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think you’re in major trouble.”
“Thanks for telling them!” I was fuming mad.
“THEY CAME TO THE GAME LINDSEY!”
I was speechless. I can’t deal with this one. That’s one thing Jessica is right about, I am in major trouble.
“What are you waiting for, let’s go Justin!” I snapped.
We sped off leaving the group in a cloud of dust.
CHAPTER 22A
Rave
If I was ever to want to find this place again, it would be impossible. Justin took us on back roads that I never knew existed. We finally got on an old beat up rocky road that had a big Dead End sign posted on one side. I
t really didn’t look like there was anything down this road until we reached a clearing and I could see the cars and lights.
As we got closer to the huge garage door entrance I could feel the bass of the music in my chest. Justin pulled up between two cars. Through very foggy windows I noticed a couple making out inside one of the cars.
“Looks like they’re busy in deep conversation,” laughed Ryan.
“So did Uncle Jim come through for us Chloe?” asked Brittany.
“Uncle Jim never lets his little princess down,” she replied.
Chloe pulled out a clear plastic bag half full of little white pills.
I had no idea what they were for but I didn’t dare admit it.
“Uncle Jim made me promise that we didn’t mention where we got these, all right you guys? Not even my mom,” Chloe said.
“I’ve only done these once before, it was such a cool feeling. I just remember dancing all night and feeling like a movie star,” said Brittany.
“Lindsey, are you in?” Chloe asked.
“Yeah, I guess, have you ever had them?”
“No, but everyone’s doing them.”
“I will if you do,” I said to Chloe.
“We’re all in. you guys will not be disappointed,” said Brittany.
“On the count of 3, here we go, 3…2…1…”
Down it went. Whatever it was. The last time I did a countdown from three was getting ready to run onto the court.
I remember looking at a clock. It was 9:47 pm. It seemed like that was ten minutes ago.
Dance. The music. The love. I have no more worries. I can’t stop dancing, feeling the beat, the rhythm, the guys, the girls, the love. Whatever was in that pill I took, I would do it again and again and again. Brittany, Chloe, Kaitlyn, Nikki, Justin, Ryan and I danced all night long. We couldn’t get off the dance floor. Sometimes I went off and danced with whoever turned my way, it didn’t matter, I loved them all. This was the best place to be in the world, I never want to leave. Dance. The music. The love. Feel the beat, the rhythm…
It is now 4:12 a.m. We are piling into Justin’s jeep. For some reason I don’t feel the same. I am cold, I can’t stop shivering, and I feel sick to my stomach. We have a silent trip back to Chloe’s.
There were people sleeping on the couch and floor when we walked into Chloe’s house. I turned down the blaring TV that no one was watching.
“This place stinks; does your mom always party all night?” Brittany asked.