Her floating self snorted. "Now you sound like Jason. He thought Charma and the demons were all pretend and only in his head for years." The not real version of herself shook her head, letting her longer than Marina's dark hair fall over her shoulders. "Go on. I'm real. Keep going."
"What are you and how are you here?"
She leaned forward. "I'm you, stupid, and I'm here because you are doing this to yourself. When Sebastian took your powers, he separated part of you from the whole. I am what happened. And whenever you're ready, I'd love to come back."
Marina called bullshit. "Where have you been for six months?"
"Trying to get your attention. When Drew took you to the part of the caves where you felt the true nature of evil, you let me back in a little. Now, you can see me. But I'm not just you now, Marina. I'm you from all the times you have been. Many lifetimes. We are from a strong family. And our soul mate would—and has—destroyed worlds for us. You need to get back to him before he gives in to desperation." Her other self leaned forward. "Listen to me, because this is important and you, when we rejoin, will forget part of what I tell you. Hold on to this. The others hesitate but Drew never does." She held out her hand. "Are you ready?"
Marina stared at the other's outstretched offering. "No fucking way."
A loud sigh preceded her reply. "Why are we always so frustrating?"
Her other self, if Marina wanted to believe it, popped out of the room as quickly as she'd appeared. Marina rubbed her eyes. She really should try to get some sleep.
A noise caught her attention. It sounded like a scratching at her door. Almost afraid to see what exactly what was going to happen next, she didn't move for a moment. Curiosity warred in her gut with sheer terror at finding anything else that evening. She must not have a very strong survival instinct because she stood up and made her way to the door. Maybe Alexa had a dog who wanted in. All of Marina's anxiety would prove to be nothing at all.
When she opened the door, she half expected to be pounced on by some horrifying monster waiting for her in the hallway. Instead, she saw nothing at all. Marina waited a beat, letting her heart calm a bit. Was she now hearing things?
The scratching continued and she stepped forward, following the sound. From down the hall in what she could only presume was Alexa's room, the scratching sounded louder. She walked toward it and as quietly as she could manage, pressed her ear to the door. Sure enough, whatever made the noise that brought her out to the hallway came from the other side of the door.
Marina raised her hand to knock and stopped herself. All curiosity aside, she didn't know Alexa or what the woman really wanted from her. If she believed the Outsider nonsense then she had an obligation to help her but not before she discerned she wasn't going to become stew for the petite brunette to chow down on.
A longing she didn't see coming washed over. Marina stepped back from the door. She didn't know what or who she needed, but not having it made her feel like she might fall to her knees. Marina backed up quickly and headed to her room. Hoping she could keep silent, with shaking hands, she shut the door behind her before she shoved herself on the bed.
Tears flooded her eyes and she didn't stop them. She missed…Drew. The longing seemed strange considering hours earlier she'd have done anything to be away from him yet there it was. She wanted Drew with her right away.
She hardly knew the man. And she missed him like she had lost her very best friend in the universe.
How much more fucked up could she be?
* * * *
The dreams pushed into her consciousness and she didn't try to stop them. At first she knew what happened, had full awareness she wasn't awake. What was the term for it? Ah, yes, the term came to her. Lucid dreaming.
But the feeling passed and then she played as little a role in her dream as a bystander who really didn't have any control over what happened around her. The deeper she slept, the more she left her body, her present, the Earth.
For once, Marina remembered.
She stood looking at the three moons above her head, the green one was fuller than she expected for so early in the planting season. Maybe they were going to have a wet winter. She'd have to ask Leonardo the next time she and Drew travelled into town. She blinked at the thought. His name wasn't Leonardo any more than Drew was Drew. But that was how she knew them and so she'd think of them. Trying to understand multiple lives was confusing without making it worse.
"Hey, beautiful." She turned at the sound of her beloved. Whatever she named him, he remained always the same, always hers.
"Hey." She extended her hand and he pressed his palm to hers before linking their fingers. "All well?"
Drew sucked in his breath before he pulled her close. "It's time."
"No." She buried her head in his chest. "We haven't had enough time yet."
"More time this round than ever before. I didn't even have to find you; we were always together as we were meant to be." He tipped her chin up to look at him. By the moons, Drew was beautiful. And deadly. She loved him so hard.
He smelled of the salt mines where he spent his days crafting. The others, even warriors as they were, didn't go down there. Too close to where the demons lived. Drew was fearless. He went where the others wouldn't, which made her in equal parts, hotter than hell for him and scared to death.
"I won't lose you again."
"Marina." His lips met hers, so soft to go with the hardness of the man. "We always lose each other. That's part of the deal. Eternally together. Even death doesn't separate us for long. If I die, you know you'll find me again."
She pinched him and the small assault only made him grin. "Eventually. It's the in between that throws me off. The not knowing what happens between lives. And don't act like you'd shrug off my death either. It might be me who leaves first this time. If we beat him or if we win, one of us might not come out the other end. So many lives, so few times dying in our sleep of old age."
"Marina, if he kills you first, I'll scorch the ground. He'll never be back to harm anyone again."
Marina jolted up in bed. Her heart raced and for a second she had no idea where she was. Sun beat through the windows and as she finally remembered—crazy Alexa's apartment in St. Croix—she realized she'd slept a long time. The brightness in the room indicated late morning at least, maybe later.
Alexa hadn't given her a wake-up time. Still, Marina didn't like being caught unawares. The dream, or was it memory, of the night stayed with her. Doubting everything the Outsiders said had practically become a job for her. But now her mind opened to the possibility. She hadn't invented the strange location and Drew—she knew him like she did herself.
Or at least she had then—in that life. In their current version she wasn't sure how well they understood one another's mind. Everything seemed different, harder, less certain than it had ever been. Although she couldn't have explained to anyone why she knew that.
"Hello." She called out to the room. "Other me. Hallucination. Powers. Whatever you want to be called, I'm ready. Give me back my powers."
Marina waited and nothing happened. She stood up and tried again. "Hello."
When again, no magical poof of powers took place, she could have kicked something if she wasn't worried it would set blood-drinking Alexa off if Marina did.
She didn't have anything to wear except the clothes on her back and she'd been in them a long time without a change. Gross didn't begin to describe how her skin crawled. There might be sweat caked into her hair.
Walking out of her room, she saw Alexa standing in the kitchen. She shifted from one foot to the other several times when Marina entered.
"Good morning," Alexa said, her expression bright and cheery.
Marina stopped moving. "Hi."
Alexa pointed at the coffee. "I made some and there are eggs. And pancakes. And lots of good things. I don't eat anymore. I mean, sort of. So I wasn't sure what you'd like."
"I don't suppose you have some clothes I can borrow and
a shower I can use until I get my own stuff."
"Oh." Alexa rushed forward. "Of course. The bathroom is between our rooms and you can take whatever you need from my room. I think we're the same size. Clean off and then go into my room and help yourself. It'll be like we're sisters. I'm an orphan, you know. Never had any real family."
"Me, too." The words came out of her mouth before she knew what she said but as soon as she did she knew them true. Yes, she'd been a baby in an orphanage in Russia. Alone. Hungry. Knowing she belonged somewhere else, with someone else.
Her fingers tingled and she stared down at her hands. Something was about to happen and she didn't want it to take place in front of Alexa.
"Really?" The other woman practically squealed. "We really are the same."
"Yes." She nodded. "I think we are. We'll talk more about it in a minute."
Trying not to run she made it to the bathroom and shoved on the water in the tub before her legs buckled. Marina grabbed a towel and stuffed it in her mouth. Pain lanced through her body, setting every nerve ending on fire. The getting her powers back thing really fucking sucked. She closed her eyes and bit down on the towel.
Blood poured out of her nose. If this shit killed her she'd be so pissed off.
And…Drew would set the earth on fire.
She knew it.
* * * *
Drew stood in the center of the room, the other male Outsiders surrounding him as though they could be some kind of wall of protection over the truly stupid thing he was about to do. He eyed Leonardo. The other man had an agenda. Drew didn't know what it was but Leonardo's duplicity didn't change the fact Leonardo happened to be right.
They needed Drew to do bring in the demon and so he would, but only because doing so would get him Marina back. "Listen." The room fell quiet, all eyes on him. He needed them to understand something pivotal. "I don't know what's exactly going to happen when I let the demon loose inside of me. If it all goes to hell, truly, I am going to do my best to get Marina's location locked down before I lose it. The most important thing here is for you all to get her. Whatever happens."
Charma sighed loudly. "We are going to save both of you."
"If it's a choice…"
Jason patted him on the back. "Won't come to that."
Why were they all so clueless? There was a very large chance here everything was about to blow up in their faces and…
The sensation hit him like a building falling on his head, the weight of the universe hit his shoulders, and then as hard as the pain smacked him, the awfulness lifted. Instead he was…lighter. Marina. He could feel her soul again. She was back. As she had always been his entire adult life, until six months earlier.
"Marina." He spoke the name aloud. "I can feel her." And if he could sense her then she had her Outsider powers back, which meant he could get to her.
Drew took a deep breath before he said, "Never mind. The demon stays where he is."
He called the image of the woman he loved, but could never have, to his mind. She stared back at him, her smart eyes calling him on his bullshit. He no sooner pictured her than the universe opened up and sucked him into it. Drew had a hard time describing the sensation, except when he travelled, his body seemed to lose form and then reform when he landed at his destination. Seconds later, he popped into existence in front of Marina.
In a bathroom.
"I…"
"Ssshh." She placed her hand over his mouth. "This is terrible timing, Drew. Absolutely the worst." She dropped her hand.
Seeing her looking so whole, the light back in her eyes meant he could breathe. He could drink her in forever. And…why the fuck was she telling him to be quiet?
"Out in that hall is a person I have to save. You don't like her. You never do. But then again you never like anyone other than me. And maybe Jason. You always seem to want to hang out with him."
What was she talking about? She didn't particularly seem to be making any sense. What did she mean by always?
"In the other room is Alexa. She needs to be with us. Do you understand? She's not bad-bad. Not like Leonardo thinks. But then he saw her doing awful things. They're so beautiful together. It never should have been like this."
"Marina…"
A knock on the door caught his attention. "Marina, I'm having the strangest feeling, as if someone else is here. Are you okay?"
"Yes, Alexa. Fine." She pointed at the tub, her eyes huge.
"No." Alexa jiggled the door handle. "I'm coming in. Try to keep me out."
"Drew"—Marina rounded on him—"keep in mind she's sick. S-I-C-K. Sick."
He raised his hands in the air. "Okay."
The door banged open. Alexa, who he had never met before but heard a lot about from Gabe, kicked it down. Drew raised his eyebrows. For such a tiny person, she packed quite a lot of strength. She was small, roughly the same size as Marina, dark-haired, and had wild, crazy eyes.
They stared at one another. "Who is this and what is he doing here?"
Marina looked between them. "He's my soul mate but he doesn't want me in this lifetime."
He hated when she said things like that. "I don't think you're exactly in a position to know how I feel."
Alexa's wild gaze looked even more deranged when she pointed at him. "What is he doing here?"
"Out." Marina waved them both toward the door. "We can't have this talk in the bathroom."
She stormed into the living room and seeing as he had no other choice and still really didn't know what was going on, he followed. Alexa chased after her as well.
Alexa's eyes were wild. The girl needed to relax. A big dose of Charma's calming energy would go a long way. A huge dose. "You seem different, like everything about your energy altered in the bathroom."
Marina grabbed the other woman's arm. "You don't know me yet. I know you though. Better than you'll ever know yourself. This isn't you. If you'll let us, we can help you and…"
Drew was content to stay back and let Marina work whatever happened out. She seemed strong and he'd always appreciated getting to look on at her from a distance. Marina had to exist in the world and she had to be well. Otherwise what was the point of anything?
"You're like them. You're an Outsider." Alexa sobbed the last word. He could see why Marina had made such a point of stressing the sick part. Otherwise he might be tempted to want to take her somewhere, lock her up, and never have to see her again. As it was, he hated how close Marina placed herself toward that level of unstable energy.
Marina nodded. "Alexa, you are, too. We are all the same. I've known you so long. You have to trust me. Surely, inside of you somewhere is the feeling you know me, have always known me. We're like sisters. The nine women in our group—we're more than friends, more than family, we're eternal. The female to their male."
"The yin to their yang." He jumped. Where had the thought come from? Almost like he'd heard her say it before, although he couldn't recall ever having done so.
"How can it be true?" Alexa raised her head.
"Don't listen to them."
Drew whirled around. The last being he wanted to lay eyes on, ever, had appeared in the room. Alexa looked around wildly and it took Drew a moment to realize she couldn't see him. Of course not, Marina and he shared the ability. They saw energies. Sebastian appeared the same to them, as solid as he did when he was incorporeal. They were the only ones who could view him when he didn't want to be seen anymore.
"Sebastian." Alexa pulled herself out of Marina's touch. "You have to help me. You have to tell me what to do."
"No one has ever told you what to do in more lifetimes than I can count." Marina spoke only to Alexa and it finally dawned on Drew what was going on. Marina had gotten her powers back and she'd really possessed them this time. Things she'd always been able to do but hadn't worked out how to tap into yet before she lost her abilities flooded through her. Marina had never once been able to see past lives before. Every other word out of her mouth was about things the r
est of them couldn't know.
That couldn't be normal.
"Sebastian." Drew stepped toward the demon and stared right at him so the creature would know Drew did indeed see him. "You have no place here. Be gone with you."
"No." Sebastian hissed. "It's the two of you who have no business being in this world. It belongs to me. Always has, always will. And I've taken steps. You'll never even know it happened. This is my turn. Mine."
"Oh, for the love of…" Marina snarled and waved her hand in the air. The demon's eyes got big before he vanished from the room.
Drew cocked his head to the side. "That's so fucking cool."
"He was boring me."
"You made him go poof."
She grinned, the first real smile she'd bestowed since he arrived. "Yeah, I did."
There she was—his girl. She turned back to Alexa, leaving him in a pit of missing her even though she stood only feet away. What the hell was going on?
"Alexa, you have to believe me. We can help you. We can make all of this better. Things will finally make sense."
"No." Sebastian's voice boomed throughout the small apartment. "She goes where I go."
Alexa vanished. The air didn't even move where she had stood. If Drew hadn't seen her with his own eyes he'd have believed she was never there at all.
Marina's shoulders sagged. "No, she should be with us."
"Like all things, she'll come to us if and when she's ready and the timing is right." Drew didn't hold to the prophecy being the only answer to everything. The others might believe they had some fate to fulfill. He only knew he wanted one woman he couldn't really have and, if nothing else, he'd keep her safe until he couldn't anymore. If he happened to kill a demon while he was at it, then fine.
She held out her hand. "Take me home. I have to explain to the others."
"Explain what exactly."
Tears pooled in her eyes. "You should know. If no one else, you always understand."
He walked toward her. "I'm endlessly disappointing." He wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumb. "I know it. I can't stand to see you cry. Tears seem so foreign on you. I'll take you home. But we have to talk about what's happened to you and some revelations I made when you were away."