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As the machine worked on its triple speed, I sipped the hot tea, which had been supplied to the library along with some chocolate cookies. I was a thrill right now as I saw the diary’s pages being photocopied on the sheets of white paper. I didn’t want to say anything right now, apart from the feeling, which told me that I should better read till the latest date, of the new entry in it. When I have already broken so many rules, which were:1. Reading my employers diary 2. Indirectly, falling in love with my employer, when it was clearly in my professional rule book that, I should never ever fall in love with my own boss, leave falling for Boss’s brother then xeroxing the diary was least in it. I knew I won’t be able to read it whole, in one day nor was it possible, to read it in instalments because, after today, I won’t be visiting Ahi’s room. Hell, I was even planning to stop visiting this whole building, after some days, if the circumstances demanded so. Who knows, I might resign! I had completely shut my brain to any kind of internal conversations. I had to read the whole diary in detail before, making any sort of decision. The machine beeped the signal of ‘done’ and I immediately left my seat, in order to get the papers from it. Collecting the papers from the machine, I stapled and kept them on the table. Taking the diary, I retraced my steps back to Ahi’s room and kept it in the drawer. Giving the photo frame a last fleeting glance, I quickly came out of the room, locked it, came out of the big main door, locked it, too, and then slowly made it back to my office.
I came home, the day’s tiredness taking me over. What I needed right now was a hot warm bath so that, I may be able to remove this coldness inside me. Slowly, without even noticing that it was seven in the evening, and Mom has not made it to the house, I made it to my room. I heard an opening of the door from downstairs, as I made my way to the washroom.“I am home” came the voice. I made it to the washroom. I brushed my teeth frantically and then stripping myself, I stood under the hot shower. No sooner the hot water sprinkled on my face, then, I gasped, coming back to life. Finally, I let down the guard around me and the controlled tears, which had been denied so long by me, finally, found their way out of my eyes. Closing my eyes against the water, I let the tears slip thereby dissolving them in water. I had been evading out of reality till now but, it was finally time, to stop deluding myself from it. It was high time, that I should realise what a great shock I had received today. Ahi was Vasu or Vasu was Ahi, it was one and the same thing. Both were the same persons. All this time, when I had been talking to Vasu, it was Ahi on the other side. I had been recruited, only because, he had taken some sort of likeness towards me. All the things that I had read in his diary, they were like a stab to my wounds, which looked, like they will never be able to fill with time.I cried for all those silly notions on which I had built my love dreams. Ahi loved me and I loved his other side, that is, Vasu. His snake side was OK with me but, as a human, he was still a mystery to me. I didn’t doubt his words written in his diary but, my greatest dilemma was that, after knowing everything about him, somewhere, Ahi will never be able to trust me fully. I admit, that I was outsmarted by him, I don’t care that it has happened to me but, the fact, that Ahi and his family will never accept me, especially after this…Vritra, Nuwa and what about Shesh? At that thought, finally, my eyes flew open. Oh my God, my eyes widened at that. How come I never even considered that truth, Shesh’s hatred for Ahi had been obvious to me but, what will happen when he will come to know that, Ahi is my secret boyfriend? Will I ever be able to explain him my own confusion? Will he not consider me a foul soul? A girl, who rejected one brother because indirectly, she had fallen for the reserved brother.Vasu had told me that he loved me; Ahi had written that he loved me but, whom should I love now? Ahi or Vasu? A were snake or a human? Eight months, till eight months, that person kept on playing with my emotions, sentiments. Never ever dropping a small hint that it was him. All the time laughing at me, having fun at my expense. When I told him to meet me, he gave me the excuse that he will appear, only when he will consider it safe. Of course, how could he meet me? Wouldn’t he have exposed himself in that way?I was getting confused minute by minute. I could not make up my mind as to what I should do. Of course, now things had changed. Khanak, my mind said all of a sudden, what about her? The childhood sweetheart who was herself the were snake, wasn’t Ahi in some ways, connected to her? How will she feel that her so-called lover had been dreaming about a simple human like me?I held fast to the wall so that my thoughts could not make me faint. So many people were connected in this one single relationship of mine. He had told me once that his family was eager to meet me. That means, Vritra and Nuwa already knew. Shesh...Somewhere, my love story had ended before it began.
As soon as I had my dinner and took the dishes to the kitchen sink, Mom’s curious gaze on my back could be sensed by me. I was acting strange, but I could not help it. This way or that, I was trying to act normal but now and then, my mind would wander back to those diary’s papers, which were kept in my room right now and which, I have not read after coming from office…“Ra,” I heard her behind me “How is office going?”“Pretty well, Mom” I replied, with my hands scrubbing the plates to remove the grease. “Anything irking you?” “Nothing,” I shrugged “Just a normal tiredness, that’s it”“Just asking” saying that, she moved from the kitchen. Turning around, I saw Mom disappearing in her room with a slumped shoulder. I hate myself; I shook my head at that thought.
Sometimes, I think, if what is written in legends can be really true because it appears as if it is…She is marked by Cobra’s Eye ring. No, she didn’t tell me. I just saw the insides of her palm while she handed me the poly bag which had the ring. Last time the ring marked someone, it was The Great Kadra, Mayuri. Nuwa said that after that many were snake female’s tried to get that divine mark but the mark is only given to the real soul mate of a Naga. It states that, once a human or a Nagin is marked by it, they are kind of stamp for a particular Naga. Of course, how can she tell me? when will I be able to reveal so many secrets to her? but, someday, I have to. I am not ready to tell her all this, right now. The day when she entered my cabin, I narrowly avoided her seeing that photo frame which had her photo in it. That was a close call. I tell myself, now is the right time to tell her but…then she comes in front of me and, I become speechless. I am curious, how will she react? she will be shocked but, that’s alright, it’s normal for humans to get shocked. But…one thought keeps on haunting me…what if she said No? What if, she rejects me? How will I ever be able to live then? My life seems wasted to me right now when she is ignorant of all the fact, how will it appear when she will say no? I don’t want to think about it…Please God, let her say yes. She loves Vasu but…will she says Yes to Ahi too? Will Ahi the human be as lucky as Vasu, the snake? I shiver at the answer to it. The girl who had fallen in love with the snake in eight months, can’t she fall in love with the human? I guess time will tell…When Mom died and I entered Chauhan’s kingdom, I have to take care of myself all by my own but then Kartika ‘Kadra’, my stepmom, along with Raja Sahib, gave me a hearty welcome. I never forgave him for what he did to my mum, Parvati, the so-called ‘consort’ to him. Kartika always showed me what real mum love means. She never took me as a step-son, as Shesh takes me, the illegitimate brother. I never got any warmth from him. In the starting, I took it as an offence but then, as the time passed, I realised that I had taken his place in the family, being the middle brother. It must have looked as if everyone is concentrating on me, alone, never giving him slight attention. I tried to make it for him by showing my care, my love for him. I have thought once that, he is just showing his rudeness to me on the face, he is pure at heart. Even Mom had told me that, but then, I realised, that it was real. The truth dawned on me when once, the three of us, were playing on the ground and suddenly, I got wounded. Vritra Khinna came to my aid, and Shesh, on the other hand, simply kept on looking at me with envious eyes. I know then, that
I, only in public, in the pressure of the elders, was his “elder brother”. I didn’t have any place in his heart, nor will, I ever.I had let it pass, since then. Then, when it was time for the three of us to go to the school, we met Nuwa, Khanak and our first cousin sister, Shliya. Shliya was like me, loved her family but, lonely at heart for the reason, that she was the girl. Her parents, youngest brother and the then “Parijana”, present “Kashyapa”, Vikram Chauhan and his wife Shavya Chauhan, present “Kadra”, always wanted a boy. Shliya wasn’t a particular disappointment to them but they weren’t happy, either. In school too, when I searched for some private place in the recess time, she and I use to spend some time together. Khanak, on the other hand, kept simply, a company with Shesh. They were the main attraction of the whole class. Me and Shliya, we were the most introvert of the class.Nuwa, she was in the other section of the class and often times, I had seen Vritra Khinna giving her coveted glares. Till the time we reached the college level, I and Shliya became the best of friends. I named her Jaanu, and she called me by the name, which Mom had given to me, Vasu. Then, Khanak suddenly started showing her interest in me. I never saw her with that intention of which, she has started seeing me. I thought that maybe, it was simply hormonal balance in her system. Of course, it’s a totally different thing now that I have started seeing Rashi with that kind of glare…No, it’s not hormonal with me. It’s real. Why is she spreading that kind of news that she and I are betrothed when such a thing never happened? I think I will have to talk to her soon. There is only one person to whom I want to get betrothed but will she have me?Then, when that assassination happened with Mum and Raja Sahib, with a broken heart, four of us had to move to an area where the water resources are more and the climate is cold. Even in my dreams, I see the dead burning corpses of both of them. Why, I still think, why the worse things had to happen with me all the time? Now, the other night, Rashi told me that Shesh had proposed her and that she said No, her heart already belongs to me. I can’t even explain the glee I felt in the depth of my heart when I heard her speaking that. At that time, I wanted to reveal her my true self but, then again, fear gripped me and my tongue went numb. The dilemma is, I can’t even speak to her about that lest she will guess the truth.No, Rashi is mine, only mine. Shesh, or anyone, has no claim on her for she is not only mine by my own choice but, even nature has marked her for me. When Shesh left any respect for me, the respect and love which I had for him deep in my heart, also vanished. Vritra Khinna always taught me one thing, love the person who loves you. That’s what I have started doing, since then. Though of course in public, we both appear to be the loveliest brothers but the truth is, Shesh is, and will always be, my worst enemy. I never use to think like this but, time and again, his own behaviour turned my thinking into this direction. The person affected most by this will be Nuwa, for, after the death of Raja Sahib and Rani Sahiba, she and Vritra Khinna have taken over the role of our parents. Nuwa always taught both of us to live in brotherhood. I hate to disappoint her but; then again, I can’t help it……O God, I simply forgot that Diwali is coming and now, Angel says, she wants to meet me. She was crying on the phone. What could be the reason? Did anybody say anything to her? She didn’t tell anything to me, gentle soul she is, but still... I told her, after Diwali, we will meet for sure but it seems, as if, I am trapped in my own net of lies, how can I meet her? Then, the cherry on the cake, she has forbidden me to come in her bedroom in snake form? What about her coming birthday? What shall I do about that? I want to gift her most luxurious things but she won’t accept them. I am forgetting one vital part, in order to celebrate and give her a gift; I have to appear in front of her. Should I tell her about my secret identity? I think…I have no other option left with me. I am afraid for the result of the meeting. I have a feeling that something worse is going to happen, I think, until the time she wasn’t marked by the ring, I could instantly know everything about her daily routine, almost every day. But now…I don’t know, I can see some blurred images, apart from that well, nothing. O God, let my fear be just, a fear…I closed my eyes and let myself get relaxed after what I have read. We will work it out somehow, I thought, I can hide from it, run from it but, I can’t escape these feelings which have taken their place in my heart, after reading his diary. I loved him, this was the conclusion I had come upon, after going through these pages. My love for him won’t get less by all these complexities but, why leave him so easily? I thought. He will be punished, starting from tonight’s call. Let me see, how true is Mr Chauhan’s love for me? Does he really love me or, he is faking it out, in these pages? He can simply fake it too. Time for me to test him, I made up my mind.
At ten in the night, I was lying in my bed thinking about my first plan to test him. I had planned to call him, to the assigned place, for our first meeting. My criteria were, let him be ignorant of the fact. Let him think, that I am still under a false impression. If he comes to meet me, but not in his original form then he is just doing that, time pass. If he comes to meet me in his human form, that is to say, a real human form with his real face then he seriously loves me. If not, he takes some duplicate face then, I will kindly tell him to look for somebody else to play these kinds of girlfriend-boyfriend games. Same will happen if, he doesn’t turn up or, make some excuses. That done…My thought process was broken by the crazy ringtone, which I had on my phone. Must be him, I thought, “Hello,” I said “Hi Angel, Happy Birthday”
Amazing, I thought, as I frantically looked at my watch which had struck twelve now. Time seemed to have flown by me, somehow. Twelve? So early? “Thanks, A-Vasu” I controlled my slip of the tongue.“So,” he asked “What is your plan?”“Vasu,” I made my voice light “Meet me today love. Say, St. Mary’s church at, five in the evening?” “Five, in the evening?” I could hear him getting confused “But why five, Love? Why St Mary’s Church? What’s the rush today? We can meet some other day too, can’t we?”Excuses, I thought. What should I make out in this now? Is he afraid to come or, simply nervous? If he loved me fully then, wasn’t he suppose to put some trust in me?“No,” I became selfish and sounded spoiled, even to my own ears “I want to meet you today, ”“Angel sssss, you are impossible” he chuckled “Then, will I get my party too?”“You just come” I replied “We’ll see to it, later”
Ten in the morning, I was sitting in my library, absently staring at my bookshelves. So many undefined emotions were going through my minds. Half part of my mind said, he will come in his real form, half said, he won’t. I wanted my first half, to win.I was so lost in my gloomy thoughts; I didn’t notice Shliya’s entrance in the room. It was only, when she shook me, that I became aware of her. “Good morning Mam,” I said, stuttering. As always, her charming face lit up with a dazzling smile, helplessly, I smiled back “Cut the formalities, Rashi. Call me Shliya, alright. I am not your employer”“But, you are my employer’s sister” I said. At that, she guffawed and took my hand, “Very smart girl you are, I must say, but,” she took something out of her bag and handed me a box, wrapped in shiny cover “Happy twentieth Birthday” “How to do you- What is this?” I asked, with my mouth hanging in amazement.“Shesh told me” she laughed “Of course; it’s totally another thing that he hasn’t wished you, yet.”“Thank you” I said “But, I am sorry mam, I don’t take gifts, especially not from my employers, or their sister’s, for that”“I am just your friend, for now, Ra” she said “Not your employer so, no formalities with me, alright”“Alright, Shliya” I repeated, with a smile
Evening fell, and I saw my clock. It was 4:30, half an hour more to go. I thought; let me check if Ahi is still in his office. I picked up the phone labelling his name and pressed his office number. After the bell went for four times, I immediately heard a voice on the line as the phone was picked “Yes, Ms Sharma,”He is still there, I thought. Disappointment flooded my heart as I asked him “Sir, did you have the books you asked for? I thought I should ask you”“Yes, of course, Ms Sharma, I did. Thank you once again”“Y
ou’re welcome Sir,” saying that, I kept the receiver down
I walked down from the elevator, after taking special permission from Shesh, to go home early today. I have not even told Mom about this special meeting today, of course, I had no plans to scare her.Correct five, I was sitting inside the Church, eagerly waiting for him. St Mary’s, being the oldest church in Mussoorie, was situated just above the Mall Road. It was one of my favourite spot in the whole place and gave me peace of mind. To save myself from shivering, I had worn a thick leather jacket. Glancing up at the clock, it was correct five now with my eyes stuck on the entrance of the church. Any minute now, I thought, any minute, I will see him, walking inside. O Christ, I prayed, let today be the day when I will finally see my lovers face. It was kind of silly on my part when I already knew who will turn up but, still, the thrill, the excitement, which ran through my veins was, indescribable. I kept on watching the clock hands as they moved from five to six, six thirty. There was still no sign of him anywhere. I waited for some more time before I know, my eyelids got heavy, and I slowly drowsed to the sleeping mode.