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Somebody jerked me and I opened my eyes. My mind was confused and something tried to penetrate in my sleeping brain, some thought, which wanted to wake me to reality. Oh, I gasped, the reality came to me with all its force. Standing in front of me was an old woman, with a kind smile on her face but, worried lines, near her eyes. She had her head covered with white cloth but, of course, Sister Agatha needed no introduction. “Good evening, sister” I got up hastily and wiped my face. There was something, some thought, which was still eluding my mind and on which, I could not put my finger, right now.“Rashi Sharma,” she tried to recognise me “Aren’t you, Maya’s daughter?”“Yes, sister” I nodded “Go home, child, why are you still here? Aren’t you finished with your prayer?”“I am done, sister” I said “ I was so deeply praying that, I literally slept. I am sorry” I stuttered in my nervousness “No,” she said “You weren’t drowsing. You were actually sleeping. Go home, it’s late. We are going to close now”“Close?” and just like that, everything came rushing to me. Ahi…Vasu…meeting…birthday…I gasped softly and immediately, turned to look at the watch Oh my God, words automatically left my mouth, as soon as I saw the watch. It was nine in the evening! I had been in this church from last four hours! My head spun. My heart crashed in my ribs as I finally took over the meaning of Ahi’s absence. It was clear; I have made a great fool of myself. “I am sorry, sister,” I said, again “of course, I must go. It’s late”“Hold on child,” she said, I turned and saw her struggling with something that was in her hand. As she revealed it, it turned out to be a shiny silver wrapped gift package. Handing it in my direction, she said, “ When you were sleeping, someone came and left this package with me, saying, it is your birthday today and, if I can just wish you Happy birthday, from his side” Shivering and trembling slightly, I took the gift in my hand and asked her “Who was it, sister? Did you see his face? What did he look like?”“I never saw his face. He had those big dark glasses over his eyes so; I could not see him clearly. It’s alright, child. He said that his name was Vasu and that, you will recognise him by just his name”Of course, I said Vasu. It’s the name that I fell in love with, it’s the name which clearly fooled me so many times but, I knew who the person was. He could have wakened me. He could have just slightly jerked me so that, I could be alerted to his presence. What should I make out of this action? He had been here when he had been not here i.e. when I was sleeping. Taking the gift from her hands, I made it to out of the church in no time. Time for me to look for a new job, I thought. It was still one week before Ahi comes back to the office. The chances were high that Shesh will say yes, to it before Ahi comes back, once Ahi is back in the building, it was possible that my resignation will become the topic of discussion among the directors thereby, appearing to him, that I have discovered his secret. I so did not want that to happen. Making a phone call to Deepak, I told him my decision to which, he said nothing but, I could sense his disapproval online. The second call was made to the public library, where thankfully, the chair of the librarian was still empty. I was joining there from the day after tomorrow. Tomorrow, I was going to Chauhan’s office, to give my resignation.
I was lying in my bed, eyes closed, but mind, still awake to all the thoughts which were going in my brain. It was hard for me to make that decision but, I had to make it, somehow. Leaving Chauhan’s office and the job was, one decision where I had to think from so many practical points of views. One thought was, I will have to face Ahi every day and the game, to which I had planned to put a stop now, will be hard to stop. The person who didn’t have any courage to face me in front of the whole world, what guarantee did I had, that he will truly love me in future too. Moreover, when Shesh will come to know that Ahi is my secret boyfriend, won’t the differences between will become more? I had no doubt that Vritra, Nuwa, Shliya or even Mum, for that, will have any problem with our relationship but, Shesh won’t take it. Why forget Khanak, who had shown such displeasure to me in her party, who knows what she may have in that head of hers? No, I had no problem with their supernaturalness, or the fact these people were some mythical creatures walking amongst us. The only doubt I had was of Ahi’s love and his feelings. If he really did love me, then he should have had no problem with expressing it in front of everyone. But, he did no such thing. I cannot base my entire life on a phone, can I? To stop getting the phone calls from him, I had even purchased a new sim card and taken out the old one from my cell, so, that I won’t get a phone call from him. Sighing deeply, moisture rolled down the side of my eyes. Wiping it, I told myself “Stop crying fool. It’s your own fault to trust some person like that and then cry like a ninny over your heartbreak” Getting up, I gulped down some water, wiped my eyes again and sighing, laid down on the bed
Next day, as soon as I reached the office, I headed towards Shesh’s office. “May I come in, Sir?”“Yes,” Entering, I closed the door softly behind me and turned to face him. Shesh was sitting in his usual pose, with his head bend on his file“Good morning Sir,”“Good morning, Rashi” he said as he looked up “Come, sit”“No Sir, I just want to give this to you” saying that, I laid the envelope on his table“What’s this?” he asked me“My resignation, Sir”
As if I have spoken the Greek language, I saw Shesh’s expression going blank. Instantly, as if on fire, he stood up and stared at me with confused expressions “Resignation” he said, as if, he didn’t understood me“Yes, Sir” I smiled “I am sorry for coming with this at such a time but, it’s kind of compulsory for me to resign, from this job”“Did anybody said anything?” he came with the reason“No Sir, Mom is not keeping well these days and, she needs someone to take care of her. If I kept on with the job then, nobody will be there at home, when she comes from office, to make her some food, that is to say. Moreover, I am thinking to start with my distance learning of post graduation so that, I am better qualified to take higher jobs.”“Is the salary not up to your mark?” he asked again“It’s not that, Sir” I shook my head “But, I want to make myself able of the post you have given me. If you want, I can join you after two years…”When I will see you with your wife…or, Ahi will get married to Khanak…Such an acute pain shot through my heart that I had to clutch my fist, in order to control myself. The mere thoughts of seeing him with someone else inflamed me, internally. But, this was necessary. It was compulsory for me, to distance myself from the entire family. Of course, their secret will remain safe in my heart but, still, first love is always that, first love.I will survive, I thought. I will get over Ahi with time. I was taking the right step then, why did I have this sudden pain in my heart, as if it was being ripped in two pieces? I was doing this, for his and my well-being.“Oh,” the disappointment in his voice was real “Well” he sighed “If that is the case then, I am no one to stop you. All the best Ra. Remember, my office is always open to you, friend”“Thank you, Sir,” saying that, I exited from the life of the Chauhan’s, or so I thought, at that time.