“You have to realize that things for Lily have significantly changed over the past couple of weeks. She lost her teaching job, and her boyfriend, who spent every waking minute with her, became the owner of a bar, so she barely sees him anymore. That’s a lot to take in at the same time.”
“She called me ‘Johnny,’” I said.
“What? Why did she do that?” Maddie asked in confusion.
“I don’t know. All she said was that this will consume me because it’s my passion and dream.”
As I looked down, Maddie walked closer to me and put her hand on mine. “It sounds like she’s having flashbacks of her father and how he was never around. Didn’t she say that her ex-fiancé was never around either and started spending less time with her?”
I nodded my head and clenched my jaw. “You’re right. Now things are starting to make sense.”
“You need to talk to her, Luke. I love you both, and I don’t want to see your relationship go in the toilet because of a misunderstanding. “
“I’m going to talk to her, don’t worry. I’ll be leaving after I finish the budget. I want to give her time to cool down.”
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I swiped the screen and saw that I had a text message Sam.
“I just left Lily’s, and she’s a mess, man. I know it’s none of my business, but I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a girl like that. She’s pretty messed up, and if you love her, you’ll get your ass back there.”
“Thanks for being there for her. I’m heading over there now.”
I looked at my watch and walked to my office. I shut down the computer and stacked the paperwork into a neat pile for tomorrow. I walked over to Maddie before leaving the bar.
“Starting tomorrow, I want you out of here by 5:00 p.m. You’ve been here late, and I appreciate it, but it’s not fair to Charley. I know it’s only temporary, but things are going back to normal. We need to sit down tomorrow and have a meeting, so head here right after dropping Charley off at school tomorrow,” I said as I kissed her on the cheek.
***
When I opened the door to Lily’s apartment and stepped inside, I didn’t see her. I walked down the hall, stopped in the doorway of her bedroom, and stared at her lying on the bed all curled up. My heart broke seeing her like that. She must have heard me, because she rolled over and tried to open her swollen eyes. As I walked over to her and sat on the edge of the bed, I pushed her hair behind her ear and leaned over, kissing her teary eye and moist cheek. She raised her arm up and looped it around my neck, bringing me closer as I buried my face deep into her.
“I’m so sorry for everything I said.” She began to cry.
“I’m sorry for not being here for you when you needed me, Lily.”
We lay there for a few moments in silence before I pulled back and looked at her. Her eyes were swollen and red. As I got up from the bed, she grabbed my hand, and I told her that I’d be right back. I walked to the bathroom and grabbed a wash-cloth from under the sink. I ran the cloth under the warm water and folded it as I walked back to the bedroom. Gently wiping her face, the corners of her mouth turned up, forming a small smile.
“That’s what I like to see.” I smiled back.
She sat up with her back against the headboard. I put the washcloth on the night stand, and I took both of her hands in mine, interlacing our fingers. “We need to talk, babe. You need to tell me what you’re feeling, where that last argument came from, and why you called me your father’s name. Because if we don’t, it’s going to happen again, and that’s not good for our relationship.”
“I know we do,” she replied.
“Are you hungry?” I asked her as I was starving.
“Yeah. I haven’t eaten all day.”
“How about Chinese food? I’ll call and have it delivered, and we can sit on the couch, eat it, and talk.”
“I love that idea.” She smiled as she put her soft hand on my cheek.
I brought her hand to my mouth and kissed her palm before picking up my phone and calling in our dinner order. Lily got up from the bed and grabbed a pair of yoga pants and a tank top from her drawer. She changed her clothes and put her hair up in a ponytail.
“Ugh, look at my face!” she exclaimed as she wiped her eyes.
Wrapping my arms around her, I said, “You have a beautiful face, tear-stained and all.”
She smiled and crinkled her nose as she turned around and kissed me on the lips. We both left the bedroom and walked to the kitchen. While I grabbed the bottle of wine and a couple of glasses, Lily took down two plates from the cabinet and got out the silverware. She walked them over to the coffee table and set them down. Not too long after calling in the order, there was a knock at the door. As the delivery boy handed me the brown bag, I reached into my pocket and took out some cash. Lily walked over and took the bag from my hands and sat down on the couch.
“I’m going to call a therapist tomorrow morning and schedule an appointment,” Lily said as she took the cartons of Chinese food out of the bag.
“Do you really think you need to?” I asked as I sat down next to her.
“Yeah, it’s something I should’ve done a long time ago. When I was yelling at you earlier, I felt like I was reliving my childhood and watching my mom and dad having the same argument. Mary would scream at him because he was never around, and he kept telling her that it was part of the business and that things would get better. But instead of getting better, they got worse. He would be gone for months at a time on tour, which was understandable, but then when he’d get back to Seattle, he wouldn’t come home for a few days.”
I set my plate down on the table, and I reached over and hugged her. “I’m sorry you had to grow up like that.”
“I felt abandoned, Luke, and then I felt it again after the church incident with Brynn and Hunter. All those emotions and feelings were coming back to me these past two weeks when you were so busy at the bar, and we weren’t spending as much time together. That’s an issue that needs to be addressed, and I think a therapist can help me.”
“I love you, Lily. I don’t know how to make that any clearer to you.”
“I know you do, baby, and believe me, it’s not you. I’m the one who has these issues, compliments of Johnny and Mary Gilmore, and I’m the one who needs to take care of them. I know you love me; I really do. It’s just this change the past couple of weeks has really messed with my head.”
“Then you go do what you have to do in order to free yourself of your past. I’ll be here for you every step of the way.” I smiled as I brushed my hand over her cheek and leaned in to kiss her.
36
Lily
After having the best sex of my life last night, I rolled over and ran my tongue along Luke’s shoulder. I was extremely sore, but it was worth it.
“Good morning, babe. What time is it?”
“It’s seven o’clock. Don’t you have to meet Maddie at the bar?”
“Yeah, but I can be late. Just let me send her a text.”
Luke did just that, set his phone on the nightstand, and then pulled me to him.
“Ouch,” I said as I scooted closer.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I’m just a little sore down there, that’s all.”
“God, after what we did last night, I believe you are. I’m sorry, babe. What can I do to make it feel better?”
I smiled as I lifted my head and kissed his lips. “There’s nothing you can do. It’ll feel better in a few days.”
“Umm, I don’t think I can go a few days without having sex with you.”
I rolled my eyes as I struggled to get out of bed. “You’re such a guy.” I smiled.
As I heard Luke chuckle, he followed me into the bathroom. I started the shower, turned around, and noticed as Luke took off his boxers.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Taking a shower with you like I always do,” he replied with a confused look on his face.
&
nbsp; “That could pose a problem since we can’t have sex.”
“Don’t worry, babe. I can control myself. Let’s just get in, wash up, and get out.”
“Alright, but you better behave yourself.”
Luke smirked as we stepped into the shower. I closed my eyes and let the stream of hot water run down my hair and body. When I opened my eyes, I saw that Luke was staring at me. My eyes glanced down and noticed his hard cock. I looked at him and tilted my head.
“I can’t help it, Lily. This is what you do to me. I tried to stop it, but you’re standing there, naked, with the water running down that hot body of yours. What do you expect?”
I couldn’t help but burst into laughter as he stood there, naked and hard, trying to defend himself. I reached my hand over and took a hold of him, stroking his entire length as his erection pressed against my palm. Taking my thumb, I skillfully circled his smooth head as I reached under and deftly stroked his balls with my other hand. A loud groan escaped the back of his throat as he threw his head back.
“Just stand there and enjoy it; this is about you, Luke.”
“Babe, I need to touch you,” he moaned as grabbed both of my breasts and began rubbing them.
“You can have my tits, but nothing else.” I smiled as I got down on my knees and took his length in my mouth while the hot water beaded down on us.
As I sucked up and down his shaft, his moans became louder. Keeping my finger wrapped around his base, my tongue licked its way up to his head, circling around the wet, smooth area before my lips wrapped themselves around the tip, sending him into a near convulsion.
“I’m going to come any second, babe,” he moaned as he thrust his hips back and forth.
I continued to fist his base as I gave his cock one hard suck; feeling and tasting his salty liquid explode in my mouth. He pressed both hands against the shower wall as he let out one last moan and gave me every last drop he had. I looked up at him and smiled as he took my hand and helped me up. He pulled me against him as his mouth smashed with mine. His kiss was strong and forceful, letting me know that he was grateful.
“God, babe, you’re amazing.”
“I know.” I smiled.
Luke chuckled, and we finished up our shower. He quickly got dressed, kissed me goodbye, and flew out the door. As I was in the bathroom, putting on my make-up, my phone rang. I reached over and grabbed it off the shelf, only to see that my mother was calling.
“Hi, Mom,” I answered.
“Hi, Lily. I’m sure you know that tomorrow is your sister’s birthday, and I was hoping that maybe you could give her a call.”
I sighed, as we’d been over this a thousand times. “Mom, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive Brynn for what she did. Listen, I don’t have time to discuss this right now. I’ve got a lot of things to do, and I’m already running late. I’ll talk to you later,” I said as I ended the call.
I finally finished getting ready, so I decided to call Giselle.
“Hello,” she answered sleepily.
“Hey, did I wake you?”
“No, I’ve just been dozing on and off. I’ve spent half the morning puking.”
“Would you mind some company? I need to talk to you about something.”
“Sure, come on over. I don’t have anything going on today.”
“I’m on my way,” I said as I hung up.
***
“Come on in, girl.” Giselle smiled as she opened the door.
I reached over and hugged her. She stood there in her white satin robe, which was tied around her waist. Her long brown, normally perfect hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail.
“You look like you’re not doing too well.”
“I’m not. I have severe morning sickness.”
“I brought some bagels. I thought the baby might like one.”
“Ugh, this kid doesn’t like anything,” she said as she sat down on the couch and hugged the pillow.
“Have you tried crackers?”
“Yes, and they don’t work either. I throw up for four hours, and then it stops.”
“Your morning sickness will go away soon.”
“Not soon enough.” She pouted. “Anyway, what did you want to talk about?”
“Do you know the name of a good therapist around here?”
Giselle tilted her head and pushed out her bottom lip as she looked at me. “You’re seeking therapy, sweetie?”
“Luke and I got into a huge fight yesterday over him not being around as much since he took ownership of the bar. It was my entire fault, and I called him ‘Johnny.’”
As Giselle’s mouth dropped, she reached over and grabbed my hand. “Why on earth would you call him ‘Johnny’?”
“Because at that moment, I was having flashbacks of my parents, and the things my dad used to say. Music was his life and his world. It was his passion, and he put every waking moment he had into it. Suddenly, I saw that in Luke with the bar, and I freaked out, especially since Hunter never had time for me.”
She sighed. “You need therapy!”
“I know I do. Now give me a name, because I know in your industry, ninety percent of the models are in therapy.”
Giselle laughed as she got up from the couch and grabbed her cell phone. As she scrolled through it, she asked me if I wanted a male or female therapist. I looked at her with a twisted face because it didn’t matter. I wanted the therapist who was the best.
“I would call Dr. Evelyn Blakely,” she said. “Marissa sees her, and she said she’s a god-send, so I’m taking that to mean she’s good.”
As I took my phone from my purse, I noticed a text message from Luke.
“I just wanted you to know that I can’t stop thinking about your beautiful, talented mouth, and it’s distracting me from my work.”
I smiled as I quickly responded.
“Good, that was the plan, baby.”
“Are you going to be coming to the bar?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there later. I have a few things that I need to do first.”
“See you later, Lily. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I tapped the contact button and asked Giselle for the number for Dr. Blakely. She rattled it off as she sprang from the couch and ran to the bathroom.
I dialed the number and waited for someone to answer.
“Dr. Blakely’s office, Janelle speaking. How may I assist you?”
“I would like to schedule an appointment to see Dr. Blakely, please.”
“Are you a new patient?”
“Yes.”
“I know this is kind of short notice, but do you think you can be here in thirty minutes? I just had someone cancel about an hour ago.”
“Wow. Yeah, I can be there in thirty minutes,” I said.
“Your name, please.”
“Lily Gilmore,” I replied.
Giselle emerged from the bathroom and sat down next to me. “I swear this kid is going to kill me.”
“Aw, don’t say things like that.” I smiled as I put my hand on her flat stomach. “Anyway, I have to go. Dr. Blakely’s office told me to be there in thirty minutes.”
“Wow! Who gets into therapy that fast?”
“They just had a cancellation.”
“See, it was meant to be.” Giselle smiled as she got up and walked me to the door.
***
I parked the Explorer in the parking garage of the Santa Monica Sunset Medical Center. Upon entering the building, I took notice of the large salt-water fish tank that sat in the middle of the lobby. I looked over to my right at the directory and found Dr. Blakely’s suite number. Upon entering the elevator and taking it up to the fourth floor, I suddenly became nervous. I hated the fact that I had to relive my past in order for Dr. Blakely to try and help me. As the elevator doors opened, I stepped out and took the long hallway down to Suite 413.
As I walked through the door, I was greeted by a small brunette who handed me a clipboard with pap
erwork and asked me to fill them out. I sat down, filled out the papers, and returned it to the desk. It was shortly after that when the small brunette called my name and walked me into Dr. Blakely’s office.
Dr. Blakely emerged from behind her desk, walked over to me, and extended her hand.
“You must be Lily Gilmore; it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She smiled.
I politely shook her hand, and told her it was nice to meet her as well. She told me to have a seat on the beige leather couch, and she asked me if I wanted some water or coffee. I opted for coffee as she walked over to where her coffee pot sat and poured me a cup. As I looked around her meticulous office, I couldn’t help but notice the burning of incense. I asked Dr. Blakely what the scent was. She told me it was sandalwood and that she burned it to help her patients relax. As she handed me my cup of coffee, she took a seat in the oversized beige chair that sat next to the couch.
“Why don’t we start by you telling me why you feel like you need therapy?”
I looked down as I traced the rim of the coffee cup with my finger. “For the first time in my life, I’ve met someone that I truly love, and I can’t let the effects of my past ruin it. I realized that last night when we had an argument, and I called him by my father’s name.”
Dr. Blakeley listened intently as she nodded her head and wrote things down on her notepad. I went on to tell her about Johnny and my childhood. Before I knew it, our time was up.
“I would like to see you at least three times a week to start, if that’s alright with you,” she said.
“Yes, that would be fine.”
“Take care, and I’ll see you in a couple of days,” she said as she put her hand on my shoulder.
As I walked out of the office and headed towards the parking garage, I pulled out my phone and saw that I had a missed call from Luke. I quickly dialed him.
“Hey, babe,” he said as he answered.
“Sorry I missed your call. I was in an appointment with Dr. Blakely.”
“Who’s Dr. Blakely?” Luke asked.
“A therapist,” I replied.