Chapter 16
Kalil
I eventually got tired of refereeing Jaida and Donte so Mak and I left them downstairs and went to bed. I woke up to KJ full of energy and asking if it was time for him to dance yet. I have no idea what he’s talking about, but Mak keeps telling him not yet. She has the grand opening for Rockstar 102 today. We’re headed there now and I can’t tell if she’s so on edge because of the opening or because of the guy from last night. I have no idea who he is and I know damn near everybody. That means he’s not from around here. He can breathe for now. I’ll catch him sooner or later. Mak’s phone rings, but she doesn’t seem to notice.
“You gone get that?” Jaida asks
Mak looks down at the phone then frowns and silences the ringer, just like she’s been doing all morning.
“Who you ignoring?” I ask.
“My mom and Stanley.”
Jaida interrupts before I can say anything. “Did she tell you they’ve been calling her all week. They want y’all to come to their wedding next week. They’re calling today to see if they can come to the opening.”
So she’s not nervous or worried. She’s distracted by her crazy ass mom.
“Well if I didn’t thank goodness you’re around to keep him so well informed,” she says.
“Whatever, he should know if it involves him.”
“And what now, Jay? He knows, so what has it changed?”
“It doesn’t matter if it changes anything, the point is he should know.”
They’re talking about me as though I’m not sitting here. Jaida’s irritated with Donte. Mak’s irritated with her mom and Stanley. They’re about to take it out on each other. I jump in before it goes any further.
“Are we going out for dinner tonight?”
They both frown and Mak says, “It’s not even lunch time yet and you’re already thinking about dinner. Greedy ass.”
I shrug my shoulders. Mission accomplished.
The studio is crowded. Mak is talking to Javier, Jaida, and a few other people I don’t know. Javier’s boyfriend walks over to them and gives Mak a microphone. She looks surprised and nervous and tries to pass it off to Jaida. Jaida shakes her head, so she tries to give it to Javier. He grabs her arms and shakes her as he says something to her. She slaps his hands away then turns away from them. A few seconds later I hear her voice through the speakers.
“Hello everyone. Apparently they thought it would be a good idea if I said a few things. Just bear with me, I’m a performer, not a public speaker.”
Javier says something to her in Spanish and she smiles as she looks back at him.
“Deberia ser usted aquí, no me.”
Hold up…she speaks Spanish?!
“I guess this would be a good time to introduce my staff so you’ll know who you and your kids will be working with.” She scans the crowd before giving the names of the people she was talking to earlier. She has a staff? Did I miss something? In addition to Javier and Jaida there’s Justin, Symone, and Nick. She also introduces two new gymnastic coaches, Kendra and Michael. I’m confused. Mak has seven employees. While I’m wondering how much money she makes doing this, she continues speaking. “Our motto here at Rockstars is never quit being you. We all strive for something, so never quit until you get it and don’t forget to be you while you’re doing it. Parents I ask that you remember that we’re not the ones out there performing, so the best thing you can do for your child is support and encourage them.”
Javier says something to her in Spanish again and she turns to address him.
“Estamos listos?”
He tells her si. Mak can speak Spanish…what else don’t I know? I watch her lips as she begins speaking again.
“Javier and I were going to dance for you all, but we thought it would be better to show you what we’re able to teach instead, so I just want to say thank you for coming out and if you’ll move next door and take a seat we’ll get started with a little preview from our junior hip hop group.”
When we get next door there are kids lying on the floor with pillows and blankets. Once everyone is seated music starts to play. I know this song because Mak plays it just to irritate me. It’s Bruno Mars, “The Lazy Song.” Why would anybody actually listen to this crap? KJ comes from behind us and goes to where the other kids are lying down. He’s trying to wake them up, but they just yawn or stretch and lie back down. He folds his arms across his chest in frustration and yells for them to get up. One of them yells for him to be quiet and let them sleep. He tells them Mak’s going to be mad if they don’t practice. I wonder how long it took for him to be able to say that right. My little man makes me proud. Mak comes into view and frowns as she asks KJ why they’re not practicing.
“The music is terrible,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders.
“Then what should we play?” she asks.
“I know!” He runs to Javier who’s holding a remote. Javier leans down and KJ whispers something in his ear. He gives KJ a “thumbs up” and a few seconds later I hear the beat for Big Sean’s, “Marvin and Chardonnay.” I hope it’s the edited version. KJ runs back to the sleeping kids and starts snatching away their blankets and pillows. As he does each one of them gets up and starts dancing. I have to laugh. These kids are good. Some are flipping, some are dancing, and some are stepping. I can’t even dance like that. Most of the parents are either beaming with pride or standing up and cheering their child on. Mak is off to the side smiling. I wonder how long it took her to teach them this routine. KJ is flipping now. He scares me, but I obviously have nothing to worry about. As the song goes off each of them finds their blankets and pillows and lies back down on the floor. KJ is standing in the middle of them with his hands folded across his chest struggling to catch his breath.
“Dance, sleep, and eat…that’s all we do.”
I have to give my lil’ man a standing ovation. The rest of the crowd joins in.
People are finally starting to leave. This was only supposed to last an hour and a half, but it’s been almost three. Mak is focused on looking for something in a bag as she talks to me.
“We should go to Olive Garden tonight.”
“I want fried pork chops,” I say as I watch a lady and a girl walk up to us.
“Ms. Mitchell, a word please?” the lady asks.
Mak glances back then smiles and turns to her. “How may I help you?”
“My daughter wanted to meet you. For some reason she thinks her only chance at success is to have you coach her.”
She says this as if the thought disgusts her. I’m appalled, but Mak keeps smiling.
“And you obviously don’t?”
“I try not to associate myself with people who have so much drama in their lives. I believe we saw you and your sister on the news a little while ago? That type of negativity is beneath us.”
Seriously? I start to say something to her, but Mak stops me and her daughter speaks first.
“Ma, what are you doing? Why would you say that?”
Mak speaks without waiting for a response. “It would probably be best if you two leave.” She grabs the bag she was looking in and turns to me. “We can go now.”
The daughter looks horrified. Mak grabs my hand and leads me to the door.
“Javier, encerrar,” she yells.
That damned Spanish. The daughter is following us.
“Ms. Makynzee, please. I’ve followed your career since I was five. I’ve built most of my routines off your style. I even dropped out of school and had my dad hire a private educator just so we could move here and I could train with you,” she says as she desperately blocks our path.
Her mom yells, “Amber, you will not beg her for anything. We can hire you the best coach anywhere in the world!”
“Mak, this lady is really pushing me.” I’m trying to keep my cool, but it ain’t working.
Amber turns to her mom and yells, “She’s the best! If I can’t train with her then I quit, I
won’t train at all.”
I may be biased, but I have to agree with her.
“You can’t quit. I would love to be your coach, but I refuse to deal with your mom. I’m sure you’ll be able to find another coach.”
“I don’t want another coach. I could call my dad? He lives a couple hours from here. I could get him to bring me and you wouldn’t have to deal with her. Please don’t turn me away.” She grabs Mak’s hand and stares at her pleadingly, but her mom tries to pull her away.
“Amber, this is nonsense. Your father will have no part in this!”
“How do you live with her?” Mak mumbles.
I doubt she meant to say it out loud.
“We suffer through our moms as long as we have to, right?” Amber asks.
Mak’s surprised. So am I. What’s with the “we” suffer?
“How old are you?” she asks.
“15.”
“My last session ends at 5:30 tomorrow, come back then with your dad, we’ll go from there.”
“Thank you!”
I hope I can go eat now.
Makynzee
I’ve felt like crap since the opening. Today I had to leave two of my sessions to rush to the bathroom and vomit. I thought it might’ve been something I ate, but Kalil and KJ are fine and I can’t eat anything without them eating some of it. I did a search for my symptoms on the internet and it said I was pregnant. I can’t be pregnant. I’m on birth control. I’m only nineteen. I’ll kill Kalil if I am. But then, who would help me raise our child? Ugh. I can hear his voice outside the door. Since Nyeem came around I’m never alone, but even with the others here he still feels the need to be here when it’s time to close. I glance down at my watch and see that it’s almost 5:30. Kendra took over the tumbling class since I wasn’t feeling okay, but I still have to wait for Amber and her dad to show up. The office door opens and Kalil sticks his head in.
“Your chariot awaits.”
I wonder if he forgot I drove here. I force a smile and walk over to him. “I’m not done yet and I drove, so you can take KJ and go ahead.”
“I’ll be outside. I got some stuff I need to take care of.”
I follow him to the door and watch as he looks around the parking lot before getting into his truck. He’s looking for a ghost. Nyeem seems pretty smart. He doesn’t show himself when anyone else is around. I go back to where Kendra and the other kids are and watch as they finish up. Soon I hear a familiar voice.
“Hello Makynzee.”
I look back and see Stanley. “Me ignoring your calls wasn’t obvious enough?” He has no right to be here and if he can just pop up so can my mom.
“I’m not here because of that.”
He has no other reason to be here.
“Daddy, did you find her?” another voice asks.
If it’s possible I think I just got a little sicker. Why is Amber calling Stanley daddy?
“Ms. Makynzee this is my dad. He said he knew you already. How cool is that?”
I wonder how crushed she’d be if I told her I refuse to deal with her dad too. Stanley senses my hesitation.
“Amber, why don’t you give me and Makynzee a few minutes to talk?”
“Okay, Daddy!”
She gives him a quick peck on his cheek before she dashes off to where Kendra is. The whole scene reminds me of my dad and I. I feel the bile rise in my throat and struggle to keep it down.
“You don’t look so well. Are you okay?”
I hadn’t realized I’d closed my eyes. I take a deep breath and look over at Amber. In less than a week this girl will become my sister. “Does she know who my mom is?”
“They’ve met. She doesn’t know she’s your mother.”
This is too much of a coincidence, but it would make sense if he was using my mom to get to me for his daughter. There’s no way he could really love someone like her, right? “What kind of games are you playing Stanley?”
“None, I know this looks weird, but there’s nothing foul on my part.”
I only dislike Stanley because of my mom. He doesn’t seem like he’s lying, but I could be wrong. I’ve been deceived before. “I’ll coach her. I won’t deal with her mom or mine. I’ll barely deal with you. Everything concerning her that you feel you need to contact me about goes through Kendra. Get with her before she leaves and she’ll let you know my schedule and fees, and no we’re not coming to the wedding. KJ, it’s time to go.”
We leave Stanley standing there. Kalil watches as we walk out the building. He’s on his phone. Frowning, of course. When we get home I tell him about Stanley and Amber as I attempt to make hamburger patties for him to grill. The smell of the ground meat is making me nauseous. He notices and cuts me off midsentence.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing.” I rush to finish forming the last patty. He calls me a liar as I wash my hands. When I look up he’s next to me. How is it that he can move so quick without even making noise? “I’m not lying, I’m fine.” I step around him and yell to KJ as I make my way to the stairs. “KJ, it’s bath time.”
“If you don’t tell me I’ll just irritate you until you do.”
He’s done it before. The thought of it irritates me enough. I turn back to him. “Food poisoning.”
“How? Shouldn’t we be sick too?” He gestures towards KJ, who runs past me and goes upstairs.
“Wait for me. Don’t turn the water on yet.” He grunts out his protest. He’s quickly mastering his dad’s temper.
“If you think you got food poisoning why don’t you go to the ER?” Kalil asks.
I hesitate. I don’t know how he’ll react to me saying I want to take a pregnancy test first? “I’ll go tomorrow.” I don’t want to talk about this anymore, but as I head up the stairs he follows me. He’s not going to stop.
“What hurts?”
“My stomach.”
“You sure you don’t just gotta go poop?”
We go in KJ’s room and I frown. “I think I would know.”
“Well what else hurts?”
Why won’t he just shut up? “Everything.”
“Then you’re pregnant.”
He says this as if he’s telling me the time of day. As if it’s not as huge and monumental as I’m thinking it is. He doesn’t wait for me to respond. He picks KJ up and tells him they’re going to take a shower together since I’m sick. I don’t know why I’m just standing here. I’m unable to move until I hear the shower come on. I go into our bedroom and take one of the Percocet I have left and strip down to my panties before climbing into bed. I think I hear Kalil come in the room, but I don’t look to make sure. When I wake up the house is quiet and dark. Kalil is in bed with me; I can hear him breathing. I wonder what time he came to bed as I slide closer to him. I say his name, but he doesn’t move. I wrap my arm around his waist and lean my head against his chest. This isn’t right. Kalil doesn’t have hair on his chest, so why do I feel hair against my face. I sit up quickly and say his name again. He tells me not quite. It’s not Kalil’s voice I hear. It’s Nyeem’s. I try to run. He grabs me from behind in a bear hug and tells me to calm down. I scream, kick, and scratch, but he doesn’t let go, so I bite him. Why do I hear Kalil curse from the pain?
“You’re dreaming, calm your ass down!”
I’m confused. I crane my neck to look up at him. It’s dark, but I can tell he’s frowning.
“Who in the hell bites people in their sleep?”
I feel sick. I’m not going to make it to the bathroom. I barely make it to the side of the bed. I hear Kalil telling me I’m going to the doctor right now. He can’t make me. I’m pretty sure of this as I lie back on the bed, but then I feel him picking me up. I don’t have the energy to fight with him so I try a different approach.
“Let me take a pregnancy test first?”
He stops walking. He’s considering it.
“You can go buy one and not have to wake KJ up for me to go to the doctor.”
He puts me down and tells me to go back to bed as he leaves. By the time I brush my teeth and clean up the vomit he’s back.
“You were supposed to go back to bed.”
“And just leave this here? It stinks.”
He sits on the bed as I stuff the towels I used into a bag and tie it shut. I spray air freshener until he begins to cough.
“That’s too much,” he says and snatches it away before passing me the bag. There are at least four different pregnancy tests. I frown in confusion as I look at him. He shrugs his shoulders and says, “I didn’t know which one to get.”
“Am I supposed to take all of these?”
“Would it kill you?”
I take a deep breath and go in the bathroom. When I’m done I go and sit by him on the bed and wait for the results.
“You don’t look too excited.”
I want to say I’m not, but I think that would be mean. “Excited isn’t the word I would use.” When he doesn’t say anything. I look over at him. His frown doesn’t surprise me.
“I’m gone need a lil’ more than that,” he says.
“Kalil, I’m just getting started on my own. I just opened a second studio, pregnancy and my line of work don’t really go hand in hand. Hell, I know it may not seem like it at times, but I’m only nineteen.” He’s still frowning. I’m not making sense to him. He has a way of making me spill my guts to him and right now he’s doing it without even trying. “I love kids; babies are a totally different story. I look at you with KJ and I see one of the best dads ever. I look at myself and all I have to go off is my mom. That scares me. The thought of me having to care for a crying baby terrifies the hell out of me.”
He isn’t frowning anymore, but now his expression is blank. When he finally says something it’s not even close to what I was expecting.
He nods his head towards the bathroom and says, “It’s time.”
He doesn’t look at me. I wait a few seconds before getting up, but he just stares at the floor. I feel like I felt when I told him I was a virgin. I go in the bathroom and look at the sticks one by one. They’re all negative. I want to smile, but I remember Kalil is watching me. “Negative.” I look back at him. I could’ve smiled since he’s still not looking at me.
“Do you even want kids, Mak?”
I’m quiet. I have a headache and I don’t know how to answer him. For once I want those eyes to penetrate me and make me spill my guts.
“An answer would be nice,” he says as he finally looks up.
“Yeah, not right now though.”
“What if the test would’ve been positive?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Simple question.”
“If it was positive then we’d be having a baby. You think I would kill our child?”
“I’m going off of your words, not mine. You’re the one who said pregnancy and your line of work don’t go together.”
“I said they don’t go together, meaning I’d have to quit, not that I’d have an abortion.” I don’t remember walking out of the bedroom, but I’m going downstairs now and he’s following me.
“I never said that, those are your words.”
Neither of us wants to wake KJ so we’re doing the whisper-yell thing. “You didn’t have to, Kalil.” Why am I going downstairs? I can’t remember if I actually wanted something or if I’m just trying to get away from him.
“Where the hell are you going?”
I just decided I’m no longer talking to him, so I ignore him. I’m pretty sure I want my headphones so I can block him out. My work bag is by the door. When he sees me going for it, he grabs it first.
“You seriously think I’m letting you put your headphones on and ignore me?”
Uh, yeah. That’s the idea. I don’t answer him; just stare with my hands on my hips.
“If you want them come and get them?”
I go to him and he holds the bag just out of my reach. With no heels on Kalil seems a lot taller. After I reach for the bag three times, he laughs. I punch him in his stomach and he laughs even more. I’m pissed, so why am I struggling to keep from laughing with him.
“I thought you were mad?” he asks.
“I am, so quit playing around and give me the damn bag.”
He’s laughing again. I can’t stop myself from laughing with him.
“You suck at being mad.”
I hate him. I leave him there laughing and go back to bed.
Kalil wants a baby. Maybe even babies. That’s the last thing on my mind. That’s what I’m thinking as I watch Amber tumble. She’s good. Not great, but good. I think she’d be great at freestyle. When I told her that she asked me why I quit. I still haven’t answered her. Thinking about freestyle and babies makes me think of Riley and Patience. I know Riley held on to her demons, but what she did makes no sense to me. I don’t think there’s anything that could ever make me kill myself, let alone my child. There’s something Marcus isn’t telling me. I call him and ask if I can stop by when I’m done here. He sounds excited to hear from me, so I bet he thinks it’s about me competing again. I finish up with Amber and as I’m leaving Stanley walks in. He asks if I’ve given any thought to changing my mind about coming to the wedding. I ignore him. I call Kalil to let him know I left early, but he doesn’t answer. He calls me back as I’m leaving him a voicemail. I ignore his call. He could have just answered when I called. When I get to Marcus’s house, he’s outside. I don’t know if he was waiting for me or if he was already outside. It’s too hot to just be sitting outside.
“Hey, I’m glad you called. I wanted to talk to you about a few competitions I heard about.”
I walk onto the porch and immediately stop. I hate this porch. I’m not even sure how he can be so calm while he’s standing here. I take steps back until I’m on the lawn. “That’s not why I’m here, Marcus.”
“Then why?”
“I can’t stop thinking about it. I need to know. What set her off?”
His expression changes. He doesn’t look happy to see me anymore.
“I mean it’s just so weird. She lived with all that for so long and then just out of the blue with no explanation she goes and does this.” I don’t elaborate on what this is. He knows exactly what I’m talking about, but he doesn’t respond. I watch as he goes back up to the porch and opens the door to the house.
“I got arrested.”
What!? I start to ask why, but he answers before I do.
“Soliciting a prostitute.”
He doesn’t say anymore. He really doesn’t have to. I watch him go in the house. I don’t move until I hear the deadbolt click into place. Riley needed someone to talk to. Someone she could trust. The one person she thought that was betrayed her. Why didn’t she come to me? I’m usually a pretty observant person, but I’m lost in my thoughts and wondering if I could have saved Riley. This is why I don’t notice Nyeem until I see his reflection in the tint of the car window.
“We meet again, sexy.”
I weigh my options. I could scream, but whatever he’s planning to do would be done by the time anyone comes to help me. I could try to fight him, but my back is to him. He’s too close to let me actually turn and face him. I could try to talk to him. Like that would really work. Try to talk some sense into the crazy person. I decide to just hit the panic button on the keypad. I’m not sure how he knew what I was thinking of doing, maybe my eyes gave it away, but he grabs my hand and squeezes my knuckles together. My keys slip from my hands as I cry out.
“You should be happy to see me.” He’s behind me, using his body to pin me against the car. His hand is around my neck and I’m struggling to breathe. “You’re making this harder than it has to be, all you gotta do is talk to me!”
Trying to pry his hand away would be useless, so I go for his neck instead. He lets my neck go, but doesn’t move away.
“I knew you’d be a fighter.”
I can feel his lips at the nape of my neck; his er
ection growing in the small of my back. The pleasure he’s getting from this disgusts me. “What do you want? Why are you doing this?”
“Because you act like you don’t remember me!”
“I only worked at Sirens for a few months, how could I remember you?” I yell.
“I was here long before Sirens! I’ve been here since all you cared about was freestyle, since day one and you get with Kalil and forget everything else that matters!”
My mind threatens to shut down as I try to figure out what he’s talking about. I have no idea who he is, but he obviously knows me well. He slides his hand over my left breast then tries to slip it between my legs. I’m screaming now. I push against the car, but he’s too strong. He barely budges. I reach behind me again, this time going for his face. His eyes are my target, but he’s taller than I thought. My thumb slips into his mouth and I dig all five of my nails into his jaw. He backs away just enough for me to turn to him. I thought this would make it easier to fight him. I realize how wrong that thought was when I feel the back of his hand across my face. It doesn’t sting like the slaps I’ve felt from my mom or anyone else. It hurts like hell and I’m dizzy. I can’t tell if my vision is blurry because of the blow or my tears. I’m on the ground. I can hear him yelling at me, but I can’t focus on what he’s saying. I think I see Marcus. I know I see my keys. I grab them just as he grabs me. He’s hovering over me; choking me again. I push the panic button and the alarm goes off.
“The cops are on their way, get off of her or I’ll shoot,” Marcus says.
Nyeem doesn’t let me go.
“I’m serious mister, let her go!”
“Marcus, what’s going on?” a distant voice asks.
Another yells, “What are you doing? Get off of her!”
I think the neighbors have started to come out because of the car alarm, but I can’t understand why hasn’t Marcus shot him yet?
A female yells, “Help them, get him off of her!”
Marcus chambers a round and yells, “I won’t ask you again!”
He didn’t even have the gun cocked?!
Nyeem kisses me and says, “Think long and hard because I’ll see you soon.”
I can breathe again. By the time I catch my breath and look around he’s lost in the crowd of Marcus and his neighbors as they check to see if I’m okay.