Chapter 22
Makynzee
I didn’t expect us to win, but we ended up taking first place. We went out to celebrate and everybody tried to get me to drink. They said I’ve been a tyrant all week and need to loosen up. I don’t need alcohol. I need Kalil. I leave Javier in charge of getting them back to the hotel safely and take a taxi back to my room. Ten minutes after getting out of the shower and lying in bed I hear a knock at the door. I look through the peephole and frown. It’s Tyler. He wasn’t with the rest of the group at the club, but his eyes are bloodshot and half closed. He’s not even old enough to drink. I open the door and he smiles. “Tyler, what are you doing?”
“I had to see you.”
His words are slurred. He’s definitely drunk. “You need to go back to your room. Where’s Niclaus?” How did he manage to get like this without his roommates seeing him?
“Gone, can’t sleep, had to see you.”
Tyler is essentially harmless, but in this drunken state he could quickly overpower me. I can’t tell if he’s too drunk to know what he’s doing or saying. His eyes trace the outline of my body and I feel the need to put my robe on even though I’m wearing jogging pants and a t-shirt. “Give me a minute, Tyler. I’ll help you get back to your room.” I take a step back to walk away and he takes a step forward to follow me. His balance is off. I’m not sure if I actually tried to catch him, but we both crash to the floor with him landing on top of me. He’s tall, but he’s also very skinny, so I didn’t think he would be this heavy. I can barely breathe. He’s not moving so I think he’s passed out until I hear him mumbling.
“I love you, Makynzee.”
He’s repeating it over and over. I try to get up, but he has me pinned. “Tyler, you’re hurting me. You have to get up.” To my surprise he actually rolls off of me and lies on his back with his eyes closed.
“Never hurt you, you’re my best life.”
“Right.” I get up and grab my phone. A couple walks by and the guy asks if I need any help. “I’m okay, thanks though.” I call Jay and tell her to send Donte to help get Tyler back to his room. When they show up I’m sitting on the chair by the door listening as Tyler continues to profess his love for me. I bite my thumb nail and stare at Tyler, who’s still lying in the middle of the doorway.
“Is he serious right now?” Jay asks as she steps over him.
“I think we need to sober him up a little before letting him go to sleep, he may have alcohol poisoning.” I don’t know if Tyler drinks in addition to tonight, but his condition scares me. I’m worried he may not wake up if we let him go to sleep. Donte tells me he’s fine and he actually needs to sleep it off. I’m sure he’s been around more drunk people than I have so I tell him okay. He’s mad at Tyler. I can’t tell if his anger stems from his loyalty to Kalil or the fact that he has to police up a drunken kid.
He slaps Tyler’s face a few times and says, “Lil dude, you need to get up.”
It looks like it hurts, but Tyler doesn’t seem to notice. Instead he opens his eyes and says, “Staying with my baby, need to stay with her.” He lifts his head and looks around until he sees me then he smiles.
Donte grabs his arm to pull him up and says, “You need to get up and go to your room.”
Tyler snatches it away from him and struggles to sit up. “Go to your room, said I’m staying with Makynzee!”
Donte looks up at me then back at Tyler. That can’t be good. Tyler is back on his feet now, albeit barely.
“Tyler we can talk about this tomorrow. For now just let him help you back to your room; you need to go to sleep.”
He staggers toward me and says, “Not listening to me, staying here with you.”
I step back and Donte grabs his arm to keep him from coming closer to me. Tyler turns to Donte and swings at him. I think Tyler believes he’s actually moving fast, but in reality he’s moving extremely slow. Donte steps back and Tyler’s fist connects with the left side of the door frame. He yells out as he grabs his hand and starts cursing. Great. He needs his hand for tomorrow.
“Baby, he’s drunk. He doesn’t know what he’s doing,” Jay says as we back away.
Donte pushes him against the wall and pushes his forearm against his chest to hold him there. I know he says something to Tyler, but it’s too low for us to hear. Tyler stares at him for a while then looks over at me. He shakes his head up and down and Donte says something else. He shakes his head up and down again before Donte lets him go. He looks away from me and mumbles sorry before stumbling out into the hall. Donte goes after him. Jay tells me goodnight and follows them into the hall, closing the door behind her.
“That was interesting.”
I’ve been in my room all day. I need to focus on me and no one else. Who am I kidding? My focus is on no one but Kalil. My cell phone and the room phone have been ringing all day. It’s not Kalil’s ringtone, so I don’t answer. I’m not sure if I’d even answer if he’d call, but the least he could do is call. I have the nerve to be mad at him for not calling when I’ve been ignoring his calls all week. Ha! I need to get up and moving. All this depression can’t be good for me, right? As I get up from my bed there’s a knock at the door. It’s Tyler again. He’s another reason I’m depressed. He’s not the best male dancer I have, but when it comes to freestyle, he’s a stunt genius. After last night there’s no way I can perform with him. I hesitate, but crack the door open. He has a black eye. I pull the door completely open and ask, “What happened to your face?” How did I miss that when I looked through the peephole?
“It’s nothing, I think. I honestly don’t remember anyway.”
I use one hand to turn his face and inspect his eye. It’s pretty bad. When the awkwardness of the situation hits me I quickly let him go and step back. He stares at me, but doesn’t say anything. “Why are you here?”
He looks away in embarrassment and says, “I just wanted to stop by and talk to you. I been trying to call you, but you wouldn’t answer, and I wanted to apologize for last night. I honestly didn’t mean for none of that to happen.”
While he’s talking he makes gestures with his hands and rubs the back of his head. He’s struggling with his words. I wonder if he’s nervous because he “loves me” or because he doesn’t know what to expect from me. I cut him off before he can say anything else. “Tyler, you crossed a line last night by coming here, not to mention the fact that you were drinking and you’re only 18. I can’t deal with that right now and I think it’d be best if you kept your distance for the rest of our time here and when we get back home I’ll recommend some other studios you can look into.”
He opens his mouth as though he wants to say something, but nothing comes out. He looks crushed. I hate having to hurt his feelings like this, but what else can I do. I say, “You’re an amazing performer so…”
“So let me perform with you tonight. When we get back I’ll find another studio. I know how much thought and dedication you put into this and I don’t want me to be the reason you miss out on it. I at least owe you that much, especially after what happened last night.”
He’s right, but I’ve had all day to alter the routine to not include him. He senses my hesitation.
“I remember everything I said last night. I’m not taking any of it back because I meant it, but I know it probably made you feel uncomfortable and that’s the last thing I wanna do. I want you to go out there and kill it tonight and I know you will. I just want you to let me be a part of that on a professional level and I’ll cut all ties with Rockstar afterwards.”
I’m a sucker for guys who keep it real when they’re wrong. I guess that’s why I tell him okay. Not to mention I need to go get ready if I wanna see what my competition is like. Just as I’m finish getting dressed there’s another knock at the door.
“Quit being a recluse and open the damn door,” Jay yells.
I let her in and go back in the bathroom to fuss with my hair.
She follows me into the bathroom and says, “M
ak, you look so cute, I outdid myself1”
She has me in a black halter top that connects to a pair of shorts. It has sheer material that looks as though it’s been shredded hanging from the waist to the middle of my thighs, which makes it look like I’m wearing a dress. I have black peep toe pumps to go with it. The storyline is that I’m an assassin headed to dinner with my boyfriend when I spot a target I have to take out. Kendra plays the target. To get into character I’m conveniently pretending she’s Dynasty. In my twisted mind, Kalil’s sleeping with her, so she’s definitely on my hit list. “He didn’t call me today,” I say.
“It’s okay, I’m sure he has a valid reason.”
“Dynasty is not a valid reason.”
“You’re tripping, he hasn’t even been to the club all week. Well, not the strip club anyway. Him and Donte had to go to the other one. Besides he’s too busy calling to check on you to be worried about anybody else, especially Dynasty.”
I stare at her waiting for her to realize she’d just told me something I didn’t know. When she does she curses to herself. “How long has he been calling you, Jay?”
“We should get going. We don’t wanna be late.”
She doesn’t want to say anymore. She’s hiding something. I let her be. My mind is suddenly too occupied with the fact that Kalil’s been calling to check on me. I wish he were here. I don’t realize exactly how much until we get to the venue and I start watching other people perform. This is usually where Riley steps in. Jay is the next best thing, but I’m stuck between a rock – Riley – and a hard place – Kalil. I’m psyching myself out more and more as I watch the others perform. They’re good. Javier is playing my boyfriend. He’s dressed in an Armani suit that could either confirm his sexual preference or make you question it. He looks amazing.
“No verlos, escuchar musica, y enfoque,” he says.
He’s telling me not to watch the other performers, listen to my music, and focus. “Easier said than done.”
He gives me my headphones and I turn to the performers as I slip them on. Once this girl finishes her routine I have one more person ahead of me before I go on. My stomach is in knots. I need to talk to Kalil. I’m crushed when he doesn’t answer, but I leave him a voicemail. “Hey, I’m uh, I’m about to perform. Nervous as hell and missing Riley, figured I could give you a call.” I glance up and see Jay walking to me. “I need you, Kalil.”
“You ready?” Jay asks as I hang up.
“No.” I didn’t intend for it to come out so harsh. A single tear escapes me and I quickly flick it away.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to talk to him. I can’t go on if I don’t and I tried to call him and he didn’t answer.” I’m on the verge of an all-out bawling session and she’s smiling at me. Either she’s crazy or she wants me to lose it in front of all these people. Which would technically make me crazy, right? I’m not crazy, am I? “It’s not funny, Jay.” If she weren’t pregnant I’d hit her.
“You can’t have any phones in here. They don’t want anybody to record y’all and possibly post videos online before they can.”
Her sense of humor is seriously warped. There’s nothing funny about that. “That means absolutely nothing to me, Jay.”
“I have a message for you.”
She looks as though she’s waiting for me to ask her what it is, but I’m not going to. After a few seconds of silence she figures that out.
“I was told to tell you, I know you’ve got a little life in you left, I know you’ve got a lot of strength left. He would have told you himself, but they wouldn’t let him bring his phone inside. Wait, isn’t that Maxwell?”
I never told Jay about Riley’s song for me. It was just between us. And Kalil. He’s here! “Where is he?”
She points to a section to my left and asks, “Did you really think he would miss this?”
Kalil
I watch as Mak turns and looks in my direction. She looks like she wants to cry, but smiles instead. Not her usual smile, but one that says that’s all she can muster at this point. I’ll definitely take it. She looks beautiful. I’m seriously thinking of snatching her up and taking her out of here. I wonder how mad she’d be. I smile back at her and watch as Javier comes up to her and pulls her attention away from me. She glances back at me before taking his hand as they announce her name over the speaker system. Her and Javier are talking when Kendra appears on the opposite end of the room. When Mak sees Kendra she holds up three fingers to Javier before kissing him on his cheek. He disappears behind the DJ booth as she slips her shoes off. She begins to make her way to Kendra, but stops halfway to her as four guys come from each corner. Kendra smiles and folds her arms across her chest. Mak takes a few steps back and as the four of them close in on her music starts playing. I don’t recognize it, but it sounds like Transformers. I smile when I hear Optimus Prime’s voice. It’s the scene from the second movie where Optimus has to fight the Decepticons by himself and he tells them he’ll take them all on. Mak glances behind her to see where the two other guys are then looks up and smiles at Kendra. She tilts her head to the right then left, simulating cracking her neck, as Jay-Z says the opening line for T.I.’s Bring ‘Em Out. The crowd is obviously feeling the song because they’re cheering before she even does anything. She drops back into a fighting stance and the four of them run towards her as the beat drops. Once they close in on her, she flips into a handstand and does this spinning kick thing. It reminds me of the move Chun-Li does on the Street Fighter game. When they come at her from the front she does back flips making it look like she’s kicking them. The guys play their parts well and fall when they’re supposed to or clutch a body part in pain when needed. There are even parts where she supposedly gets hit. I don’t like these parts, but I guess it needs to look real. If she’s on the ground she’s sweeping her legs into theirs to give herself time to recover and get up. When they chase her she runs and jumps from the walls into more flips. She does that hovering thing I saw her do in the video. She also does a lot of things I’ve never seen her do. She flips over their backs and kicks and punches at them. The fact that she can pretend to fight them like this means she actually knows how to fight like this. I make a mental note to bring it up if she’s actually talking to me now. She takes two of them out by “breaking their necks” and the third by using both fists to “cave his chest in.” After she “kills” those three she runs towards Kendra, who’s no longer smiling. There’s still one guy left. He has a black eye, so that lets me know he’s Tyler; the one trying to get his hand in my cookie jar. Donte said he hit him last night just to make sure he got the point. Jaida got mad at him for doing it. Mak doesn’t know. I think it’s best we keep it that way. He tries to cut her off, but in some impossible defeat of gravity she manages to flip onto his shoulders, grabbing him by his collar, then dropping into a crouch and throwing him over her head. How in the hell did she do that? There’s no way she’s strong enough to actually lift him. I don’t know how I missed it before, but she has a knife strapped to her left thigh. When Tyler lands on the floor she pulls the knife out and runs towards Kendra. Tyler’s back up again and manages to cut her off. She puts the knife back in its place. They go back and forth like they’re fighting all the while she’s flipping around him, off of him, and doing things that seem impossible. She tries to get around him again and he holds her back by her arms. Kendra laughs at her. In one of her blindingly fast movements she twists herself loose from Tyler and turns to face him. Before he can react she uses the knife to “cut his throat.” She’s turned to face Kendra before he even falls to the floor. Kendra isn’t laughing anymore. She looks as though she’s seen a ghost. Mak throws the knife at her. I’m not sure how they made that part look real, but it lands in Kendra’s chest. Mak goes to her and pulls the knife out. She wipes it on Kendra’s shirt and kicks her to the floor. She quickly looks towards the DJ booth then down at her watch before running back to the other end of the mat and strugging to quickly put her
shoes back on. She’s smoothing her outfit down when Javier comes back into view. She smiles at him. He holds his hand out to her and motions for her to come to him. The two of them disappear behind the DJ booth as the crowd cheers for her. My baby’s a creative fucking genius. I can’t stop myself from smiling. There she goes turning me into a lil’ bitch again.
“That explains it all,” Kaeden says.
“Explains what?”
“Why she got you so stuck on stupid.”
No, she doesn’t. Does she? Before I can protest she comes back in front of the DJ booth and waves at the crowd as they cheer for her. She’s not smiling, but she uses both hands to throw up her rock star symbols. Her dance group goes crazy next to me. She keeps her hands that way as she walks over to Kendra and the four guys she just killed. She has a slight limp. Something’s wrong with her right foot. When she gets to them Marcus makes her sit in a chair and they crowd around her blocking my view of her. I want to go see what’s going on, but the announcer asks all of the competitors to come back out to get the judge’s final tallies. Mak doesn’t come out at first, so I start to make my way over to her. I don’t get far before she finally comes out. She has a bandage wrapped around the ball of her right foot and she’s not wearing any shoes.
Makynzee
I knew the wall routine would mess my foot up. It’s been tender for days. I actually expected it to be worse though, so I won’t complain. The prizes for this competition are cash rewards for 1st thru 5th place, along with trophies and other miscellaneous items. Of course bragging rights are always in order for the top three places. I’m hoping for at least third. Kalil isn’t in the same spot he was in when I went to sit down. He’s at the other end of the bleachers with Kaeden and Donte. I wonder where he was going. Was he leaving without saying anything to me? I’m fairly certain I would be beyond pissed if he’d have just left without speaking. I love his outfit. Why does any one person have to look so good? I wonder if he knows just how good he looks. He has his conceited moments, but nothing too serious. I can’t take my eyes off of him. I need to be in his arms right now. I fight the urge to put myself there and he smiles at me. I love that smile. Lately I’ve been seeing it every time I close my eyes. Hell, I even see it when my eyes are open. That can’t be healthy, right? I wonder what color boxers he’s wearing. Probably black. I like him in black. His eyes are hypnotic. They really don’t go with his skin tone. They make him look exotic though. Kaeden and Karmen both have brown eyes. He said his grandfather’s eyes were that color. He doesn’t have any pictures to show me. If I’m going to have his kids one day, I think I should know what to expect from his side of the family, right? Wait, didn’t I break up with him? Kaeden and Donte begin yelling something and clapping. Kalil points to his ear and starts to clap with them. Through my peripheral I see my dancers running towards me. Maybe I should pay attention to the announcer.
“I think she’s in shock, y’all give it up for the Rockstars, they’re definitely in the building.”
Wait, what’d I miss? What place are they on?
“I’ll try it again, for those of y’all who don’t remember her, get to know this name. Makynzee Mitchell and her Rockstars are back in the game and taking first place.”
I cover my mouth to keep from screaming as I drop to the floor and close my eyes.
“That reaction’s more like it,” the announcer says.
I’m lifted in the air and I glance down to see who has picked me up. It’s Javier. Marcus is next to him. I’m surrounded by people cheering for me. I can’t stop myself from crying. I look back at Kalil and he salutes me. I smile at him. He blows me a kiss then uses his hand to make a phone symbol at his right ear. Him and Kaeden head towards the door. I don’t want him to leave, but seeing it as how I’m still in the air and surrounded by people, there’s not much I can do to try and stop him. My dancers are chanting the words rock stars. I laugh and throw my hands up with the rock star symbol. When Javier finally puts me down and they’re done presenting trophies, taking pictures, and doing interviews for the local news stations, I’m forced to go to the nearest bar. Everyone is quick to forget the fact that I don’t drink, main reason being I’m not old enough. I take a shot of water to appease them. It actually works.
By the time I make it back to my room I’m exhausted. I fall across my bed and try to will myself to get up and go to the shower. Instead my eyes close. I force them open and grab my phone to text Kalil.
Sick n tired of trying to save the world
I just wanna spend my time being ur girl
N wht u gv me lets me know tht we’ll be alright…
JT and Bey
I don’t really have the patience for him to try to figure out what song it is, so I’m hoping he knows that they only have one song together; Until the End of Time. Wait, do they actually have other songs together? I hope not. I fall asleep waiting for him to text me back.
I’m jolted awake from the best sleep I’ve had all week. I don’t even know how long I’ve been asleep, but it’s obviously not long enough. My eyes are burning and I’m struggling to keep them open. I’m confused and can’t decide if it was a knock at the door that woke me up or a ringing phone. I look back and forth between the two, waiting for one of them to make a noise. The door wins. I swear if this is Tyler again I’m going to kill him. I look through the peephole and smile. It’s Kalil. He knocks again and I quickly open the door. He looks me up and down for a few seconds then rushes inside and picks me up. My legs seem to have a mind of their own and wrap themselves around him. His mouth devours mine. The bed is obviously too far away because he stops at the nearest wall and pins me against it. He’s rough, urgent. The feeling’s mutual. I push against his chest to make him back away so I can get my hands on his pants, but he doesn’t move. Does he really think I’m pushing him just because?
I pull away from our kiss and say, “Your pants.”
He bites my neck and holds me by my waist as he steps back. I let out a moan. How did I survive this long without having his mouth on me? My body shudders as I feel him bite my nipple through the sheer material of the top of my outfit. Somehow I manage to get his pants open. He comes back to me before I can get his boxers down far enough. I feel his hand between my legs and another moan escapes my lips. Something rips. I’m pretty sure it’s my shorts. Before I get a chance to confirm this I feel him push himself inside me. I cry out much louder than I intended. He pauses briefly and looks at me. I’m almost pissed. Why does it hurt? Does this mean that if I don’t have sex with Kalil on a regular basis, it’ll hurt when I do? That just doesn’t seem fair. Please let it pass quickly. I kiss him. He pushes deeper and slips his arms under my legs, bracing his hands against the wall. A few minutes and a few amazingly beautiful strokes later, I’m calling his name. I haven’t had an orgasm like this since our first time. I have one arm draped across his shoulder with my hand resting on his head. I involuntarily push his face into my neck. My other hand is on his back. My nails involuntarily dig into his flesh. Involuntarily seems to be my favorite word right now. I have no control over my body when I’m with him, so I think it fits. As my orgasm subsides I feel his body go stiff. He makes a sound I can’t describe, but I love it. I lean my head against his and silently bask in the glory that is Kalil. Once he’s caught his breath he carries me to the bed and collapses next to me. I will myself to get up again to get in the shower. Kalil rolls onto his side and pulls me to him. So much for a shower. I snuggle into him and within seconds I’m passed out. I lied before about that being the best sleep I’ve had all week. This definitely takes the cake, hands down.
Kalil
Mak’s phone is ringing. She sleeps through it. I know it’s Jaida, but I ignore it. Whatever she’s calling for must be important because she’s called twice and now she’s knocking on the door and calling Mak’s name. I wait for her to move, but she doesn’t. Jaida smiles when I open the door.
“Awww, how cute. Back together again. Sorry to interrup
t, but she needs to do some networking. Apparently she’s in very high demand.”
It’s almost midnight. “They waited this long, can’t they wait til tomorrow?”
“I tried that, it’s kind of a once in a lifetime thing. This could put us in the big leagues as far as dancing goes. This guy books dancers for some big names, Chris Brown, Mary J., Beyoncé. Do I really need to say anymore?”
She doesn’t. Mak would be pissed if she missed an opportunity like this. If she’s tired enough to sleep through all this, is she really in a position to conduct any type of business? I look back at her. “She’s exhausted, Jaida. How often do you see this?” I grab my phone and call Mak’s cell. She sleeps through it. Jaida stares at her for a little while then looks back at me.
“As much as I hate it, we need to make her get up.”
She’s right. I call Mak’s name. She doesn’t move. Jaida calls her name. Still nothing. I sit on the bed beside her and pull her up to me. “I need you to get up for a minute, baby.”
“No, you need to let me sleep,” she says without opening her eyes. She tries to pull away from me to lie back down, but I don’t let her go. She pushes me and says, “Seriously, Kalil, let me sleep or get the hell out.” She’s really mad.
“Mak, you gotta get up. We need you for at least an hour,” Jaida says.
She looks at Jaida then me and back to Jaida again. “What could you possibly need me for that couldn’t wait until in the morning?”
She lets herself fall back against the pillows on the bed and Jaida says a name. She bolts upright, wide awake now.
“Where?” she asks.
“Downstairs at the bar with Javi, waiting for you.”
“Are you being serious right now?”
“Why would I joke about something like that?”
She jumps up from the bed forgetting about her foot injury. She curses and almost crumples to the floor in pain. “Ten minutes, Jay,” she says as she hops on one foot to the bathroom.
I hope she gets that excited for me. A few seconds later we hear the shower come on. Jaida tells me to have her meet them at the bar. When she comes out the bathroom she frowns at me being back in the bed. “She said meet them at the bar.”
While slipping into a pair of jeans she says, “Then get up, we need to hurry.”
I don’t respond. I’m too busy watching her get dressed. It really is pretty amazing to actually see her get all that ass in those jeans.
“Focus, Kalil.”
I look up at her smiling face. “I think you can handle this one on your own.”
“There’re plenty things I can handle on my own and there’re others that I’d rather handle with you, this falls into the latter.”
Can’t say no to that. I get up from the bed as she struggles to get her shoe on her right foot.
She pulls her sock off and says, “I think it’s bleeding again.”
I squat in front of her and say, “Let me see it.”
Her dedication to her sport borders obsession. Who willingly takes injuries like this and keeps going? I frown after looking at her foot. It looks like she’s been walking through tiny slithers of glass and she’s right, it’s started bleeding again. “Did this happen tonight?” I’m curious to know how long she’s been practicing with her foot like this.
“You can fuss at me later, right now we need to rewrap it and go.”
She can’t even get her shoe on, but she wants to go. I shake my head and wrap her foot. By the time we get her shoe on Jaida’s calling her phone.
She answers with, “I’m coming down now, tell him to keep in mind I have a handicap.” She laughs at whatever Jaida says, hangs up then holds her arms out to me. “Jay said for you to carry me,”
That’s probably not going to happen. She can get on my back though. I sit on the bed and say, “Climb on.”
“This isn’t what I had in mind.”
It doesn’t stop her from wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist though.
I’m not sure why Mak said she needed me here. Within ten minutes of sitting down she has this guy and his partners eating from the palm of her hand. When she’s done she tells me she’s hungry. She hasn’t eaten since breakfast. It’s after one in the morning now. Who does that? We order from the bar and take it back to her room. I’m lying across the bed flipping through the channels on the TV and she’s sitting at the table watching me and barely eating. She obviously has something on her mind and from the looks of it, it’s probably something I won’t want to talk about. Might as well get it out of the way. I look at her and ask, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
She answered that too fast. I push myself up from the bed and go to the table. “I thought you were hungry?” I ask as I sit with her and take some of her food.
“I’m full now.”
She’s barely eaten half of her food.
“Then talk, tell me what’s on your mind.”
She stares at her food for a little while then looks up at me. “I don’t know how to accept what you do.”
Definitely something I don’t want to talk about. “You don’t even know what I do.”
She grabs a pen and paper from her purse and writes the word trafficking. Who opened their fucking mouths and told her? “That’s not your burden to bear, it’s mine.”
“If we’re together your burdens are mine.”
She has a way of making you feel stupid when she says certain things. This is one of those things. She says it as though I’m the dumbest person in the world for not realizing it on my own. All she needed to do was add “duh” to the end. I need to clarify something though.
“Are we together?”
She instantly looks as though she wants to cry. I frown. The last thing I want to do is make her cry. I open my mouth to say this, but she cuts me off.
“I don’t know how to not be with you either.”
That’s not really an answer, especially since she shrugged her shoulders with it, but she doesn’t elaborate so I guess that’s all I’ll get for now.
“You want me to quit?” That comes out like a question, but it’s more of a statement. She stares at me. Says nothing for a while.
“Did you and Kaeden ride together?”
“No, I came this morning after I took KJ to Jasmine. Kaeden came yesterday.”
“You have to get KJ Monday?”
“No, he’s going with Jasmine’s mom.”
“Amber and a few of the other girls have a meet here in Atlanta Tuesday thru Thursday so I’m staying here; Kendra and Michael are bringing them Monday.”
“Can I stay with you?”
“Can you stay the whole week?”
“Until when?”
“Does it matter…if I wanted you to stay, could you?”
This is a test. She’s trying to see if I can just drop everything and be with her if she wants me to. People with real jobs can’t even do that. I wonder how many of these tests I’ll have to pass to keep her happy. “Yeah.”
“Until Saturday. I wanna take you to meet somebody,” she says then goes to the bed.
I watch her take everything off except her panties. If she wanted me to know who, she’d have said it. I’m curious, but I can wait. Right now I’m concerned with more important things, like a half-naked Mak climbing into the bed. I get up to follow her.
“Kalil, I’m going to sleep.”
I smile.
“You can have your way with me later,” she says.
I make her promise and she laughs as she does.
When Mak isn’t practicing with Amber and the other girls she’s dragging me all over Atlanta. She makes me “escort” all of them to the Fernbank Museum of Natural History, the Georgia Aquarium, the Atlanta Zoo, and the World of Coca Cola. There’s a lot of shopping in between and Michael and I are forced to go along with it. I like seeing her in the finished product. I can definitely do without seeing what it takes to put it together. Her
and Kendra in a mall together is the worst thing I’ve had to deal with the whole time I’ve been here. Or at least I thought it was. She wakes me up early Saturday morning. When she tells the navigation advisor the address to where she’s taking me he asks if she’s sure that’s where she wants to go.
“Positive and I know exactly what it is, so you don’t need to say it.”
He hesitates then tells her he’s downloading the route to the vehicle. She tells him thank you. He tells her to have a safe trip. What the hell does that mean? When we get to where we’re going I realize Mak has lost her mind.
“This is some kind of joke, right?”
She ignores me as she walks ahead of me.
“I’m not going in there, Mak.”
She stops walking and looks back at me. When she told me she wanted to take me to meet somebody, the last place I thought they’d be was in a prison. That’s where we are now. In spite of what she might think, I’ve never been to jail and I plan on keeping it that way. She has a thoughtful look on her face as she walks back to where I’m standing.
“Baby you don’t have any warrants out for your arrest, do you?”
What?! “Why would I have warrants out for me, Mak?”
She gives me a “did you really just ask me that” look then turns to walk inside with a group of other visitors. Okay, so that was probably a stupid question.
She reaches for my hand and asks, “Are you scared?”
I don’t give it to her and I refuse to answer that question.
“We had to pull a lot of strings in order to be able to come here today.”
If she had told me this was her plan I could have saved her a lot of time and effort.
“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. I won’t let them get your goodies.”
Hilarious.
“Trust me, Kalil.”
Should I? It doesn’t look like I have much of a choice. I take a deep breath and give her my hand. After being searched at least three times and being given just as many safety and protocol briefings, we’re taken to a room where there are already other inmates visiting with their families. We find an open table and sit down to wait. Mak’s quiet. She seems nervous. Her eyes are locked on an inmate in the far left corner. He’s playing with a little boy who looks about KJ’s age. A woman is sitting at the table watching them play. She looks sad…and pregnant. I can’t tell how far along. I misread her. She’s not nervous. She’s wondering if that’ll be us one day. Great. I’m not sure how long I watch her watching them, but she doesn’t look away until we hear someone say her name. I look back and see a guy about my height and build. He faintly resembles Mak and has her mom’s lighter complexion. She stands up and holds her arms open for a hug.
“Uncle Mack.”
Uncle? She never said anything about an uncle.
“You went and grew up on me,” he says. They hold the embrace for quite a while. When he finally lets her go she’s crying.
“Come on mini Mak, no tears.”
She forces a smile as he wipes her tears away.
“Your mom said you refused to come see me, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”
“I waited for you that day.”
He shakes his head up and down. “I know, I let you down baby girl.”
“You promised you’d be there and you never showed up. I was so mad at you. I hated you.”
“I know and I’d give the world to change that.”
I feel like I’m wrong for being here. Like this is a private conversation that I shouldn’t be hearing. She hugs him again then turns to me and reaches for my hand.
“I want you to meet my uncle, Mack. My namesake.”
I give her my hand as I stand up. Why am I nervous? It feels like I’m meeting her dad for the first time. Her uncle intimidates the hell out of me. Pretty rare.
He extends his hand to me and says, “You must be Kalil.”
His facial expression is blank; no frown, no smile, no nothing. I’m not sure what that means. I shake his hand and tell him it’s nice to meet him even though I’m not too sure it is.
“We should sit down; talk a little, so I can find out what it is about you that got her to finally come see me.”
They sit beside each other. I sit across from her.
“He reminds me of you,” she says.
He smiles at her then looks at me. “Well that can be a bad thing or a good thing.”
Most people say good thing first, he said bad. She glances up at me then looks at him.
“Both.”
He stops smiling and looks at me. Am I in trouble?
“That’s not the path we set for you.”
He keeps his eyes on me. He sounds upset. Upset is probably an understatement. His hands are fists. I think if we were anywhere else we’d be fighting right now.
Mak places both of her hands on top of his and says, “This isn’t the path we set for you.”
He finally looks away from me. It takes him a little while, but he flattens his hands against the table and she moves hers from his. Did my baby just protect me?!
“Are y’all serious?” he asks.
I’m not sure if he’s talking to me or not, so I wait for her to answer him. I’m honestly not even sure at this point. Yesterday she told me I wasn’t her man. She just thinks I’m cute, fun to hang out with, and awesome in bed…her words. Comforting. It’s a good thing I’m not sensitive.
“Very,” she says.
That’s nice to know. He looks up at me then down at his hands. “You love him, Mak?”
I thought I’d seen her in pain before. The look she has now as she sits in a prison visiting room with tears streaming down her face as she talks to her uncle lets me know this hurts her more than anything I’ve seen her go through. That’s saying a lot considering everything that’s happened with her parents and her sister…and me.
“Si, daria mi vida por el.”
Here we go with this Spanish shit again. Am I the only one who doesn’t speak it? She knows I don’t, so that means she’s doing it on purpose. I make a mental note to ask Javier what “daria mi vida” means.
“Hace feliz?” he says.
It sounds like a question.
“Si,” she says.
“El te tratan bien?”
Another question.
“Como una reina,” she sys.
I commit “reina” to memory as well.
He looks up at me then at her and asks, “Then why are you crying?”
She hesitates; lowers her eyes then looks over at me. “I’m scared I’ll lose him.”
Of all the things she could have said in English, this is what she wants me to hear. It finally hits me. There’s only one reason she would bring me here to meet her uncle; an uncle that she never mentioned and never comes to see; an uncle who I remind her of. She definitely knows how to get her point across. She said there’s no future in what I do. I’d either end up in jail or dead. Her uncle ended up in jail. The realization hits me hard. I take a deep breath and lean back in my chair. They’re both watching me now.
“Give us a minute, mini Mak.”
“That’s not why I brought him here.”
He smiles at her and says, “I know. I just wanna get to know him.”
She forces a smile and gets up. She’s still crying. I hate seeing her like this. I get up with her and hug her. She gives me a real smile as I wipe away the last of her tears. I want to ask her if she’s okay. Stupid, right? She gives me a peck on my cheek then heads towards the snack machines. Her uncle is watching me as I go back to my seat, but he doesn’t say anything. Mak told me once before that when I stare at her a certain way it makes her feel the need to confess everything she’s ever done. I finally know how she feels. I take back what I said about him intimidating me. This guy scares the shit out of me.