Chapter 27
Makynzee
It’s been a week since my mom almost shot Stanley. She’s filed for a divorce, but he’s going to fight her on it. The audacity! On Monday she called to ask me why there were three men at her door telling her they were told to install an alarm system in her house. I had nothing to do with it. She wouldn’t let them in until one of them told her someone by the name of Kalil James scheduled the installation. He still hasn’t said anything to me about it. Now that I’m thinking about it, he hasn’t been saying much of anything lately. Whenever I ask him what’s on his mind, he tells me it’s nothing for me to worry about. I’m at the studio now. Sitting at the desk in the lobby waiting for Donte to drop Jay off. They’re late as usual. Our receptionist is staring at me like I’m invading her personal space and she wants me to leave. She keeps asking if she can get me anything; coffee, water, snacks, etc. After telling her no a million times I put my headphones on to block her out. Around nine Jay and Donte finally show up. He pulls up to the front of the studio and she leans towards him and gives him a kiss. This means he’s not coming inside. I jump up and run outside to meet them. Just as she’s shutting the door I grab it and slip inside. They both look surprised. I tell her five minutes and close the door before she says anything. She goes inside the building. Normally something like this would make Donte frown. When I look at him he’s just watching me. His expression is blank. I can’t tell what kind of mood he’s in.
I smile and say, “Hi.”
He doesn’t smile back. In all actuality, he doesn’t do anything. He just stares. I’m nervous now.
“I need to ask you something.”
He puts the car in park, then reaches over me and opens the door. “Ask Kalil.”
How does he even know it’s about Kalil? Who else would I be asking him about? He could at least just hear me out. I close the door back.
“But I haven’t even said anything yet.”
He opens it again. “Makynzee get out my car.”
I fold my arms across my chest and stare at him.
“I’m not Kalil and you’re not Jay. You being mad don’t affect me, so you can either get out on your own or I can take you out.”
“Just let me ask my question, it’s not even anything specific…technically…really.”
That came out wrong. He ignores me and gets out of the car. I close my door and lock it. Jay has been watching us from inside the door. She comes back out when Donte gets out of the car. He tries to open the door, but of course it’s locked.
“Jay, get your girl.”
“Mak, what the hell are you doing?” she asks.
“I just need him to answer one simple question.”
“And this is how you do it?”
Okay, so I could have approached him differently. “It’s just one question. It’ll take him two seconds to answer it.”
She takes a deep breath and looks at Donte.
“If she gets out of the car will you at least hear her out?”
“Whatever she wants to ask me she needs to ask Kalil.”
“He won’t answer me if I do.”
“Exactly why you shouldn’t be asking me.”
Jay shakes her head and comes around to the driver’s side. She gets inside and asks me what I want to ask him. I tell her. She stares at me for a few seconds then gets back out the car.
“I have a question for you,” she says to him.
“No, you don’t. You have her question with a few words switched around to make it apply to me.”
Why is he mad? What’s so hard about answering a simple question?
“Is it more dangerous for you to do what you do or for you to try to stop doing it?” she asks.
He looks at me then back at her. “He’s really quitting?”
He can’t answer one question with another. I don’t say anything.
“Get out the car and I’ll answer you,” he says.
I can’t tell if he’s lying or not, but I get out anyway.
“Once you’re in, you’re in. You can always say you’re out, but hustlers are born, not made. This shit is in your blood, not your head. And even if you say you’re done, if the game don’t wanna let you go, it’ll always follow you.”
If I had to guess, I’d say this is what’s bothering Kalil. He may genuinely want to quit, but he knows that there’s really no way out. “So if he really wanted to stop, he couldn’t?” I ask.
“We ain’t your run of the mill nickel and dime dope boys. We built a fucking empire and we don’t deal with your everyday cats. We roll with some real dudes who might not take too kindly to us just bowing out on them.”
Is that a yes or a no?
“So that means no?” Jay asks.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s a little confused.
“It means it won’t be easy.”
“So quitting is more dangerous?”
He glances at me before answering her.
“Depends on who you are.”
“Kalil?”
He goes to Jay and says, “I answered enough questions from you today, go talk to Kalil.”
I watch in silence as he rubs her stomach and tells her they’re going to be alright. For some reason this makes me jealous. Jealous is the wrong word. I’m happy for them. Envious, maybe? What if something happens to Kalil? What if I never get the chance to experience carrying his child? I’m putting my career before him. Is it really worth it? Is my peace of mind over what he does really worth him risking his life? What difference does it make when his life is at risk either way? I go back inside leaving Jay and Donte standing by his car.
Kalil
Mak’s been acting weird for three days straight. She’s literally smothering the hell out of me. Every time I move, she’s there. If she’s not around she’s calling or texting. She even goes to the club if I go and doesn’t complain when she has to walk around a lot. She came home early today. I came down to the basement to play Madden and she actually wants to play with me. I have to draw the line somewhere. She looks truly hurt when I tell her no. Now I feel bad for hurting her feelings.
“You don’t even like football like that and you never come in the basement with me, what’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to hang out with you.”
She still sucks at lying. “Okay, now tell me the truth.”
She gets up and says, “I need to go pack.”
I should probably go after her, but I need a break. I give myself a few hours then make my way upstairs. She’s too quiet. I yell out, “Where you at?”
“Why are you yelling? I’m right here.”
She’s lying on the couch. I wonder if she was asleep.
I sit on the floor in front of her and ask, “What you doing?”
“Nothing.”
Am I really going to have to drag this out of her? “Mak, talk. We’re not playing 21 questions.”
“If you quitting puts you in harm’s way then don’t do it.”
Well that was easier than I thought it would be. Wait…what the fuck did she just say?
“Who do what now?”
“What’s more dangerous? You doing what you do or you trying to stop what you do?”
I should have left her alone. I’d rather her be clingy than to have this conversation. Why does the back of my neck itch all of a sudden? I close my eyes and lean my head against the couch. I feel her hand on my head. She uses her fingers to trace circles across my scalp. Why is that so calming? Normally if I take a long time to answer a question she asks, she comes up with a sarcastic remark. She’s quiet this time.
“There’s no difference. Whatever could happen while you’re in doesn’t stop just because you say you’re out. You deal with too many people, everybody knows you, and nobody forgets you.”
She doesn’t respond. I want to look at her, but I don’t want her to stop playing in my hair.
“Truth be told, if I’m out, there’s alw
ays somebody next in line.”
Her hand is gone.
“Like literally…how does that work? You choose somebody and send out a mass text saying contact this person for any further business, I mean, what does that mean?”
I look back long enough to see where her hand is then grab it and put it back on my head. She takes a deep breath and goes back to what she was doing.
“Who you been talking to, Kaeden or Donte?”
She doesn’t answer me. She won’t give up her source.
“Technically yeah, if I’m saying I’m done, but give my blessing on the next guy who wanna step up then it makes it that much easier, unless he fucks up.”
“Who’s your next guy, Kalil?”
“I don’t have a next guy.”
“So how does that work?”
It doesn’t. I can’t tell her that though. Her phone rings; saved by the bell. It’s Jaida. When she answers I go back into the basement. A few minutes later she comes to where I am. She looks irritated.
She asks, “Have you talked to Kaeden today?”
“Earlier. Why?”
“Did he mention anything about getting Elise pregnant?”
I laugh. He did, but I thought he was joking. Mak’s not laughing. I cover mine up by turning it into a cough. “He’s probably not going to claim the baby.”
“Tell him I said not cool at all, we perform tomorrow and she’s at the studio breaking down.”
“So you want me to call and talk to him?”
“No, I want you to tell him not cool at all.”
“So you don’t want me to try to talk him into it?” I’m confused.
“Talk him into what? She’s grown, he’s grown, that’s between them, and we have nothing to do with that.”
Wow. I didn’t expect that. “So what about tomorrow?”
“I still need to pack.”
“I mean with Elise.”
“She either catches the flight with us or she stays home and tries her luck with Kaeden, I hate it for her, but it’s out of my hands.”
With that she walks out. Complete opposite of what I was expecting. I spoke too soon. She’s back. She stops on the stairs and looks back at me.
“What if I changed my mind?”
“About what?”
“You quitting. I mean, you shouldn’t have to change who you are for me to love you, right?”
Seriously?! This isn’t really something you can go back and forth on. That was kind of sweet though. “Did you?”
She doesn’t answer at first. When she does it makes absolutely no sense. She says yes, but shakes her head no.
“Go pack, we’ll talk later.”
“We’ll talk now.”
“You don’t know what you want; it’s pointless to talk now.”
“I want you safe and by my side.”
Well damn. How do I respond to that? I don’t if she walks away like she’s doing now. Wasn’t she the one who said we’ll talk now?
Mak has been in New York for almost two days now. I waited for her to say something else after she left the basement, but she didn’t. I’m waiting for her to call and let me know how they did with their performance when Kaeden and Donte show up. If they’re together, it can’t be good. I open the door and walk away without saying anything.
A tiny voice says, “Uncle D, you said we could get McDonald’s.”
Why does that tiny voice sound like my son’s? I turn back to them and see KJ holding Kaeden’s hand as they walk inside the house. I look from Donte to Kaeden, waiting for them to tell me why they have KJ, but neither of them say anything.
“Daddy, I miss you. Where’s mommy at?”
I’m positive he’s referring to Mak, but I’m wondering the same about Jasmine since he’s supposed to be with her.
I pick him up and say, “I missed you, too. She’s at work.”
“I wanna talk,” he says.
I hear Mak’s ringtone. Is she psychic?
“Go get a snack first, man.”
I put him down and he dashes into the kitchen while yelling, “Uncle K, I need you!”
I answer my phone as I watch Kaeden go into the kitchen. Mak’s excited and talking extremely fast.
“Okay, baby, three things. The first I really shouldn’t even have to tell you because you already know I’m a beast.”
“Y’all took first place.”
“Yup, and there was a hidden prize for first place, we get to choreograph a dance tribute to Big Boi from Outkast, so unless you come with me this time, in two weeks I’ll have to leave you for a week to go to Atlanta and then…”
KJ just came back to where I’m sitting and he’s talking nonstop about Simba from The Lion King. He’s even growling like a lion. Mak is probably trying to make sure she’s not tripping and it’s actually him she hears.
“Why is KJ there?” she asks.
That’s the million dollar question and I still don’t have an answer to it. “I’m not sure yet.”
“What do you mean you’re not sure yet? He’s supposed to be with Jasmine until Tuesday, what happened?”
I can’t give her an answer if I don’t know one and I definitely can’t tell her Kaeden and Donte just popped up with him.
“I’m not sure yet, he just got here.”
“So she just dropped him off and didn’t say anything.”
I don’t answer her. I’m trying to decide if Jasmine dropping him off and not saying anything is any better than Kaeden and Donte just showing up with him. I can’t decide. Sometimes Mak’s thought process is the exact opposite of what I would expect, so I decide to change the subject.
“You said three things. What’s the third?”
“Forget it, you wouldn’t be too thrilled about it anyway and it would mean I’d have to stay here a few more days, which I’m not doing since you’re obviously trying to hide something from me.”
“I’m not hiding nothing, I honestly don’t know.”
“You know how he got there.”
When she first called there was background noise. It’s quiet now so she must’ve gone somewhere by herself.
“Yeah, but that’s not important right now. Tell me what the third thing is.”
“I’m coming home. I’ll call you back in a few minutes after I check to see when the next flight out is.”
She can be so damned stubborn sometimes.
“You can’t just leave, y’all have another performance tomorrow.”
“Which do you think I’ll put first, Kalil? KJ or a performance?”
I hear Jaida calling her name. She tells me to hold on. Jaida asks her what’s wrong and if I got mad when she asked me. I hear her say she didn’t ask me yet. The rest is cut off. What hasn’t she asked me and why would it make me mad?
When she comes back on the phone I ask, “What you need to ask me?”
“It doesn’t matter, if you’re not telling me what’s going on I’m not telling you either.”
Really?
“Kaeden and Donte brought him here.”
“How’d they get him, where’s Jasmine?”
“I don’t know. You called as soon as they got here.”
I think she mumbles ratchet yamp, but I’m not sure. I’m not even sure what that means.
“They want me to do a photo shoot,” she says.
“Who’s they?”
“Well, it’s actually pretty funny, I think it’s your favorite magazine.”
There’s nothing funny about that. The only magazines I like are Sports Illustrated and Maxim. She wouldn’t hesitate to tell me if it were Sports Illustrated, so it has to be Maxim. I almost laugh when I look up and see Donte actually looking at a Maxim magazine now. I knew I should have gone to New York with her. “Keep talking.”
“They’re doing an article on dancers. They want me to be the feature for it and they wanna do an interview about the studio and our performances.”
Two things I don’t like about this. One, it’s Maxim, so she’ll
most likely be wearing little to nothing. Two, I’m not there. It’s nice to know that she’s sexy enough to grace the pages of such an obviously prestigious magazine, but at the same time it makes her eye candy for every man in the world. I’m not too thrilled about that, but I can’t help feeling good knowing that they want her and she’s mine.
“I’m seriously flattered, but if it bothers you, it’s honestly no big deal, I’ll tell them no.”
“Tell him they’re willing to pay you a crap load of money,” Jaida says.
I bet they are. Mak tells her to shut up.
“Do you wanna do it?” I ask.
“That depends; it’s kind of a catch 22.”
“What they want you to wear?”
“Ummmm, there are different choices.”
She doesn’t have to tell me. I’ve seen a lot of the outfits.
“Well, why is it a catch 22?”
“I don’t think I mind too much, the outfits are no different than bathing suits or stuff I’ve danced in before and it’d be good for publicity, but hell it’s Maxim. Just because you like to look at it doesn’t mean you want to see your girl in it.”
She won’t do it if I say I don’t want her to. She’s already got one stalker, how many would this bring out? “Do it, I’m cool,” I say.
She doesn’t respond.
“I promise, I’m cool with it.”
“Promise me that whatever they’re about to tell you about Jasmine will go in one ear and out the other.”
Why would she ask me to promise that knowing it may not happen?
“I promise I’ll try.”
Makynzee
We’re headed to baggage claim to get our bags from the flight home. Everyone else came back yesterday. Jay and I stayed so we could get the proofs from the photo shoot. I’m almost scared to show them to Kalil. It’s one thing to visualize yourself in an outfit, but it’s something totally different when you’re actually wearing it and have had your hair and makeup done specifically to be eye candy. Kalil is at the far side of the baggage carousel. Is it weird that I still get butterflies when I see him? That my panties become drenched at the sight of his physique and my sole need becomes having him inside of me? He smiles when he sees me. Even his smile still gives me goose bumps. I feel giddy. He’s wearing dark brown and black. He should seriously consider modeling. He’s walking towards me now. I run to get to him quicker. I give him a quick peck then bury my face into his chest. I’ve missed his scent. I close my eyes and inhale deeply just before KJ tries to squeeze between us.
“Mommy, do me!”
Kalil calls him a blocker as I squat to give him a hug. I kiss his cheek and say, “I missed you!”
“I miss you, too. Daddy said three days left to see you, and two days, and one day and now I see you.”
“Aww. You were counting down the days for me to come home?”
“Uh huh and now all gone.”
I pick him up and say, “You’re such a big boy.”
“KJ, where’s my hug?” Jay asks.
KJ’s eyes drop to her stomach and he shakes his head no. Ever since we told him she had a baby in her stomach he wants nothing to do with her.
“You’re not going to give auntie a hug?” I ask.
He says no and buries his face into the crook of my neck.
“Just like your uncle. You find out I’m pregnant and kick me to the curb.”
I laugh and make a mental note to call Elise.
When we get home I try to avoid the subject of the photo shoot. I get away with it until I put KJ to bed. When I go in our bedroom to take a shower Kalil has the pictures on the bed next to him.
“Either you just go ahead and show me or I’ll look at them myself.”
“Are you going to tell me what happened with Jasmine after I show you?”
He has yet to mention anything about her. He smiles and shakes his head up and down. I sit beside him and grab the folder with the pictures. The first one I pull out is one with my back to the camera. It only shows the top half of my body. I’m standing in front of a brick wall and my head is slightly bent to lean against it. My arms are slightly raised and bent at my elbows with me making rockstar symbols with both hands. Their makeup artist drew a trail of stars from the back of my neck to the small of my back, each one a little bigger than the last and ending in an explosion of stars. It looks like I’m naked. “I wasn’t naked,” I say to him. Surprisingly he’s smiling, but he doesn’t say anything. The next one I take out is a full body shot. I like this one. I’m wearing a black tube top dress, which looks as though it’s been ripped in certain places and black pumps covered in metallic spikes. I love the shoes! A black, red, and white electric guitar is in my hands. The photographer was on the floor in front of me for this one, so it makes me look like I’m all legs. Kalil laughs and rubs his hands together.
“Yeah buddy.”
He drags the yeah part out. I guess that’s a good thing. The next one I pull out is one of the ones that have me worried. I’m back against the brick wall. My back is to the camera again. I’m sitting technically. My legs are flushed against the bottom of the wall into a split. My arms are above my head, crossed at the wrists – rock star symbols blazing, of course. My head is turned to the right and you can see most of the right side of my face. I’m only wearing white lace boy shorts and white heels. I wait for Kalil to say something.
He finally says, “Oh, sweet baby Jesus.”
I smile and take the next one out. I’m wearing the same thing except I have on a white strapless bra to match the panties. I’m facing the camera this time and squatting with my back against the wall; my feet are together, but my knees are spread apart with an all white electric guitar between them. My head is tilted down as though I’m looking at the guitar, but my eyes are on the camera. Kalil doesn’t say anything. He just kisses me. We don’t make it to the rest of the pictures. I don’t miss the fact that he tells me nothing about Jasmine.