We each made a sandwich and took a bite. It was as disgusting as we both figured it would be, but at the same time it was the best sandwich of my life because it was a part of Gabby that I was able to share with Daniel.
“I get what you were doing,” I said, putting down my pickle sandwich. “Dancing with me.”
He smiled and shrugged. “Sometimes when you miss a person, you can only focus on how sad you feel that they are gone. Other times, it’s best to focus on the memories that bring you joy and laughter.”
I grinned down to my sandwich and added more peanut butter. “You’re a very great teacher.”
“You’re a very smart student.” He wiped his finger in the peanut butter and spread it against my neck.
“Daniel,” I whispered as he tongue danced across my skin, licking up the peanut butter. He breathed against me, sending chills throughout my entire being.
“Yes?”
“Teach me some more.”
His eyes met mine. I ran my fingers against his mouth. His eyes smirked as he lifted me up into his arms and took me to his bedroom for our next lesson plan.
“Don’t…stop…” I breathed heavily, begging as I lay in Daniel’s bed, “…reading… Don’t stop reading.”
My eyes were closed and I’d taken off my oversized sweatshirt, leaving me only in my white tank top and tight jeans. He hovered over me, shirtless. My fingers ran up and down his toned chest, feeling him inhale and exhale each and every time.
His left hand held up his body as his right held an open book. He smirked as he read me the next line from Much Ado About Nothing. “‘She’s but the sign and semblance of her honor.’” His voice was rigid and rough with every word he spoke, sending me into a wave of desire. “'Behold how like a maid she blushes here.’” He gently pecked my ear. “‘O, what authority and show of truth’”—he kissed my neck—“‘can cunning sin…’” He placed the softest lips to the curves of my breasts. My hips voluntarily arched toward his, wanting nothing more than to feel him against me. He pulled down the straps of my tank top and outlined my bra with his tongue. “‘…cover itself withal.’”
My hands moved to the belt loops of his slacks and I pulled him down lower to me, pressing my body against his. I felt him against my jeans, making me well aware that reading was his biggest turn-on, too.
“Daniel,” I softly spoke.
“Yes?” He buried his face into my chest, into me.
My voice was shaky, unsteady from my apparent desires. “Close the book.” It only took a moment for me to hear the book slam shut. When I opened my eyes, his stare was intense; his pupils were dilated and dreamy. I kissed his chin, feeling my heart rate increase. “I want you…” He sat up a bit and moved his hands to the hem of my shirt. Pulling it up slow, he glided his mouth to my belly button, kissing me all over as my thighs longed for more attention. “Please, Daniel…”
“You’re perfect,” he sighed against my skin. “We’ll start slow.” He slid my tank top over my head and tossed it to the side of the room. He placed his hand over my chest and felt my heart beating for him. Only for him.
I sat up a little on my elbows and wrapped my hand around his neck, pulling him down to my lips. He pressed his mouth against mine, and I moaned his name softly as he took my breath away. Then he filled me back up, giving me life, giving me meaning, giving me him. I was shocked by his ability to awaken my spirit each and every time we were near one another. He was discovering all of my weaknesses and making them strong.
I slid my hand toward his zipper and unbuttoned his jeans, and as my fingers swept across him, he rewarded me with a soft groan. He wrangled them off completely, and I traced the waist of his boxers. A deep-rooted growl left his throat and I loved the sound. I cherished that I’d done that to him. He unzipped my jeans and helped me wiggle out of them, which wasn’t the easiest task. He laughed at the way they took a while to slide off me. I laughed because I’d never felt so comfortable unclothed in front of anyone.
“We’re not going to have sex, Ashlyn,” he warned.
I grimaced at the thought because he worked me up more than anyone ever had. I wanted to feel him against me. I wanted him inside me.
“I’m not scared, Daniel. I promise.”
“I know. But I want to take my time with you, with us. Besides…” His fingers glided against the cotton fabric of my panties. Ohmygosh! My mouth opened to catch the air he had driven out of my body. “There’s so much more we can do besides sex.” His head lowered down between my thighs, and I closed my eyes as my stomach filled with nerves.
I’d never had anyone down there before. Billy had never pleasured me in any way whatsoever. It had always been about him, his wants, his needs. But Daniel was different in every way possible. He wanted me to feel good. He wanted me to be pleasured. He wanted me.
Feeling his hot breaths against my skin was sending me into a different world.
“I’m going to kiss you, Ashlyn,” he whispered.
My fingers dug into the sheets surrounding me and his kisses stayed low. I felt his wet lips press against the edge of my panties before his fingers wrapped around them and started lowering them more and more.
“Dan…” I muttered in a low tone, unable to complete his full name. My hips arched in his direction, asking him for more, for so much more. The kisses didn’t stop, and my moans didn’t cease.
Each inch he lowered my panties, I received a warm kiss, followed by his tongue running up and down, then another kiss, and then a long, hungry lick once he reached my core.
“Daniel,” I moaned, louder this time, knowing that everything I’d ever wanted was with me now. He licked me deeper, harder, with more love.
I was on the edge of heaven, about to give him all of me. My body was trembling, my hips rocking against his mouth more and more. He spread my legs wider.
“You’re perfect,” he whispered as I dug my fingers into the sheets. “So perfect.”
I buried my head into a pillow, gasping as his fingers found their way to me, rubbing me, finding a perfect rhyme with his tongue. He inhaled when I did, and I exhaled with him.
As he picked up speed, my breaths became heavier, hungrier for all of him. I ran my fingers in his hair, tugging on it gently. One smaller kiss from Daniel was all it took to carry me over, making my body rocket into space, leaving me panting with him lying against me. I knew now that I’d never experienced pleasure in that form—or any form—before he’d come into my life. Daniel brought me another first. My first ever orgasm.
My panting was heavy, and he moved up to me, kissing my neck. “Thank you,” he sighed against me, wrapping me in his hold. “Thank you for trusting me.”
We lay there for what felt like eternity. I felt hot and tired, but not too tired.
“Daniel,” I whispered, running my fingers up and down his spine.
He bit his mouth against my shoulder, making me sigh. “Hmm?
“Can you do that again?”
Don’t be jealous, it bleeds out red.
Trust your heart inside of your head.
~ Romeo’s Quest
I knew it was stupid, and I knew it shouldn’t bother me, but it did. Jake was coming onto Ashlyn more and more each day at school. Walking past Ashlyn’s locker, where Jake was hovering over her, I paused close enough so I could listen in. I felt like such a dumbass, thumbing through my paperwork, acting as if I were busy.
“So I was thinking… The school dance is coming up before Thanksgiving break and I was wondering…” Jake’s voice cracked from nerves and he gave Ashlyn a smile. “Maybe we can go together?”
Ashlyn glanced toward me and held her book closer to her chest. She frowned toward Jake and turned him down. The bell rang, and he wore his disappointment on his face, mostly in his eyes.
A couple walked by, laughing and holding hands, and Ashlyn’s eyes stayed glued to their hold. A knot formed in my stomach. I knew she thought I didn’t notice, but I did. She looked at the couples walking ha
nd in hand at school with such envy. All signs of public displays of affection never went unnoticed by her. She longed to hold my hand in the light, not only in the shadows.
When third hour came and went, I asked her to stay after for a minute so I could talk to her. Her eyes looked hooded; she seemed tired.
“You can go, you know—to the dance with Jake.”
“No, I’m good,” she lied, cradling her books.
“But you love to dance,” I said.
“With you. I love to dance with you, Daniel.”
“You’re disappointed.”
Her head dropped and she nodded slowly. “It’s just—your hands are right here. My hands are right here. And we’re not allowed to touch.”
My pinky wrapped around hers and I felt a sigh shake through her body.
“I’m sorry, Ashlyn.”
“Not your fault. Just our lives, I guess.”
My throat tightened. “If you want out, just say it. I promise you it’s fine.”
Her eyes widened and glassed over. “I don’t. I want this, Daniel. I’m just having an off day. That’s all.”
I heard what she was saying, but I knew she had to miss the things normal couples did. Dinner dates. Movies. Weekend getaways.
“Romeo’s Quest is performing at Joe’s bar again soon…” I said, getting lost in her green eyes. “You should come.”
Her smile widened and I saw her eyes light up, too. “You mean, go out somewhere other than the lake house?” She paused and giggled. “Don’t get me wrong. it’s a nice lake house and all, but it’s just—”
I cut her off. My finger was still wrapped around her pinky and I nudged my classroom door closed slightly. Taking her hand fully into mine I pulled her closer and my lips took hers in. I kissed her quick but deep. She nuzzled on my bottom lip and kissed me back harder as the bell rang for fourth hour to start.
“You’re late for class.”
I could feel her smile against my mouth as she spoke softly. “Totally worth the tardy slip.”
We were performing at Joe’s bar the weekend before Thanksgiving. Randy set up an agreement with them for people to bring canned goods to be donated to the hunger force. I thought it was such a Randy thing to do—to find a way to give back.
Ashlyn showed up behind the library for me to pick her up holding two cans of corn and a notebook in her other hand. She looked so adorable with her cans and beautiful smile. I pulled up to the curb and she hopped into the car.
“Hey.” She leaned over and kissed me on the lips before she buckled her seatbelt. “I’m going to write tonight while I listen.”
“You’re writing again?” She hadn’t mentioned her novel since the first night we’d met at Joe’s bar, so I was stoked to hear her mention it.
“Just random things. Nothing major.”
“Very major,” I said.
We arrived at the bar to have Randy come bouncing up to us. “Hey! You came back to see me,” he said to Ashlyn, placing his hand over his heart. “I’m flattered. I really am. But I think my friend Danny here has a small crush on you.”
She laughed. “Is that so?”
“Yeah. The other day, I walked into his room. He was talking in his sleep and cuddling his pillow, calling it Ashlyn.”
My eyes widened and I turned to Ashlyn. “That’s not true.”
Randy nodded quickly. “It is.”
Ashlyn took my hand into hers and giggled. “It’s totally true, isn’t it? You’re addicted.”
I couldn’t deny that.
Randy’s phone went off and he excused himself to go answer it, leaving me standing with Ashlyn. “I gotta get set up soon. Want anything to drink?”
Ashlyn grabbed my shirt and ran behind me. “Oh my gosh!” she squealed, covering her face.
“Uh, it’s not that big of a deal… A simple no would have worked.”
“Shit shit shit,” she whispered. It was pretty cute to hear her curse; it made me want to kiss her that much more.
“What’s going on?” I questioned, trying to turn around to look at her.
“Henry,” she breathed into my shirtsleeve as she pointed toward the bar.
My eyes shot up and I saw him sitting there drinking. “Oh shit!” I whispered, pushing her out of the building. We ran to the side of the bar and took in deep breaths. “What is he doing here?! Did he know you were coming?”
“No! No! I didn’t tell anyone.”
“Well where does he think you are tonight?” I asked.
She shrugged. “He never asks. I doubt he cares.” I saw a small tremble in her bottom lip.
“He would be crazy not to care.” I paused. “He can’t know, right? He doesn’t know. He can’t.” My insides were twisting at the idea of her father, my boss, finding out about us.
Ashlyn pushed herself against me, giving me a deep kiss. “I need to go before he sees me. I think I’m going to head home. Just to be safe.”
I kissed her back, loving her taste. I grabbed my keys from my back pocket and tossed them to her. “Take my car and drive home. You can park it down the street from your house. Then you can give me my keys back sometime tomorrow.”
The first snowfall of the season started that night, and I looked up to the sky as a few flakes fell to my face. Then I watched the snowflakes hit her long, beautiful eyelashes.
I kissed the bridge of her nose. “Spend some time writing. I want to read whatever it is you come up with.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” She stood still. “This is kind of fun, isn’t it? The almost-getting-caught thing?” Her nose wiggled and her tongue pushed into the side of her cheek.
“You’re absolutely crazy.” I took her bottom lip with my mouth and sucked on it gently. “Absolutely crazy.”
“Only for you, Mr. Daniels. Only for you.”
My hands roamed down over her ass, and I kissed against her neck. “‘Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow…’” I said, quoting Romeo and Juliet.
“‘That I shall say good night till it be morrow.’” She moaned lightly and giggled. “Mmm…I love when you talk dirty to me.”
Only we would get turned on by William Shakespeare.
“Oh! This is for you.” She handed me a letter from Gabby, started toward the car, and paused, looking back to me. “He looked a little sad, didn’t he?” she asked, frowning toward the bar. “Do you think you can check on him?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Thanks.” With that, she walked away.
I fell even more for her in that small moment. She thought Henry didn’t care about her whereabouts, about her at all, yet she was still concerned about his well-being.
“Henry?” I asked, walking up to the bar.
He looked nothing like he did during school hours. He was wearing a gray polo that was wrinkled, and his hair was all over the place. His green eyes looked up at me, and at first, he looked surprised to see me standing next to him. Slowly, his face relaxed.
“Dan, hey. What are you doing here?”
I slid onto the stool next to him, inviting myself to chat even though he didn’t look like he was in a talking mood. His hands were gripped around a glass of whiskey. His scent was buried in tobacco. For a moment, I inhaled the scent, letting it remind me of my father.
“I’m in the band, Romeo’s Quest. How are you?”
He looked up at me with perplexed eyes and laughed. “Do you want the professional reply or the truth?”
I waved down the bartender and ordered us both another whiskey. When I got them, I slid it to Henry. “Whichever one you want to share.”
He paused and rubbed his thumb on the rim of the glass. “I’m fine,” he lied. His eyes were heavy. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, months even. “That was the professional answer.”
“And the truth?” I questioned, feeling bad for the guy.
“The truth is…I’m falling apart.” He took a long swallow from his drink. “My daughter died a few months ago.”
/>
I placed my hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“I wasn’t there for her or Ashlyn all their lives.” He looked down at his glass, his head hanging in shame. “After Kim left me to move to Chicago, I mentally checked out. I hadn’t checked back in until August. And by that point, it was at my daughter’s funeral.” He choked on the final words and wiped his hands across his face.
I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say a thing. My hand still rested against his shoulder. I could feel his body shaking from his nerves as he continued speaking. “And now Ashlyn’s here. I feel like I have a shot at connecting with her, but I don’t try. I hardly know anything about her. Her likes, her dislikes. I don’t even know how to start a relationship with my own daughter.”
I ran my hands over my mouth before I placed one hand around my glass of whiskey. Bringing it to my lips, I took a swallow. “That’s a tough situation.”
He turned toward me, his eyes red from emotion, and he laughed. “I should have just told you the professional reply, but it seems that the whiskey is getting the best of me.”
“Where’s Ashlyn now?” I asked, knowing yet wondering what his reply would be.
“I don’t know.” His head hung low. “I don’t ask her to check in with me, because what right do I have? It would be kind of asshole of me to start playing the father card when I never was a father.”
“I think she would want you to though.” He arched an eyebrow at my comment. “I lost my father a few months ago. Our relationship wasn’t always perfect, but it was good. Yet if I had a chance, I would try more. I should’ve played the son card a little more. You missed an opportunity to connect with Gabby. Don’t miss one with Ashlyn.”
He nodded slowly, taking in my words and thoughts. I stood up from my chair and started walking over to the stage.
“Hey, Dan?”
I turned back to him. “Yeah?”
His eyebrows furrowed and he frowned. “How did you know her name? Gabby’s?”
Oh shit.
My heart landed in my throat as I stared at the sad man. My mind went on speed, racing faster and faster, searching for an excuse. “You mentioned it.”