Caia shakes at the rebuke and lets loose with a torrent of rage. “That response is not acceptable. It’s not just our girls, it’s the entire industry. We can’t supply your Goblins important intelligence when girls are beaten and the men decide to stay home with their wives instead of spilling secrets to their paid companions. Letting Amber take the reins of the guild is a disaster of giant proportions and she’s shutting us down. You need to address this now.”
If I didn’t know better, I’d think I just watched as the governor count to three under his breath. I wonder if Caia realizes just how close she came to taking a vacation in the royal dungeon, or worse, for that little eruption.
“Caia, I said that I do not have the resources. That doesn’t mean I will fail at putting the necessary forces in play.” That last sentence is paired with the governor’s own intimidating, toothy snarl. Caia gets the hint and backs down.
Still looking at Caia, he continues. “Alright, with the exception of some heavy-handed action in the area of prostitution — as pointed out by Caia — the city continues to function without any increase in danger. The safety of the city continues to be secured by this office.”
We all keep sitting.
Petapeterich reviews the papers on his desk, then lifts one hand and, without looking at anyone, waves us away. “The meeting is now over. Be on your way.”
I am heading out with the others when I hear, “Not you, Pinty. Sit for a moment more with me. I have a few words to say to you still.”
And so I wait for the room to clear.
Chapter 69
“Does the calico have a name or can I make one up for it?” Giving it scratches behind the ears makes the cat purr most noisily.
The governor barely looks up from the paperwork. “I think its name is Cat Number Fifty-six.”
“That’s no name for a cat! I shall call it Pouncer. Is that what you are?” I pick the cat up and hold her to my face. “Is that what you are, mean hunter, mighty hunter, pouncer extraordinare? Oh yes, you are! Oh yes, you are!”
“Mr. Lightbottom.”
“Yes?”
“Put the cat down.”
I do. And quietly wish Pouncer a long and happy life.
“Pinty, everyone invited to the meeting represented a group: the merchants, the military and the clergy, had they shown. You represent, for me, the interest of the common citizen. Indeed, I find it amazing that, with all your significant, huge, gaping, critical character flaws, people honestly like you.”
“Gee, gosh, willikers. That’s dandy.” I immediately realize that I went too far with the sarcasm. The governor gives me a look and the entire room chills. I immediately change my tone. “Right, so, what can I say? I just get along with people.”
“You do, amazingly so.” He leans back for a moment. “A shortkin of your talent could go far in politics. Does politics interest you in any manner?”
It doesn’t take any special senses to realize a trap. “Nope. The Bottom Up and a life of adventuring are fine for me. Stabbing, killing and eating. I can barely handle my kitchen staff as it is. A whole city — that’s somebody else’s job.”
“I appreciate that sentiment. I would hate to think there could be another candidate for my job.”
I sit in silence, offering the “I’m totally subservient” smile and the “no way I want your job” grin.
“Good, then what’s the mood of the people?”
“Cranky over the fire. They lost a lot: home, work and family for many of them. But this is a city of thieves, vagabonds and the downtrodden — no offence there — and they always survive.”
The governor waves his hand. “No offence taken. Honesty is important in this relationship.”
I continue. “They could use a wider variety of food. They say everyone is one square meal away from rebellion. The same meal every day just delays the revolt. The fire pretty much destroyed all the foodstuffs and anything else being held in the warehouses. Those with money are buying all the fresh food before it reaches the city walls.”
“Duly noted. Feed the people some variety.” Petapeterich shuffles through a different stack of papers. “Tell me your opinion of Amber.”
I take a moment to make sure I’m clear with what I want to say. “It’s likely the common citizen will never notice the change in leadership with the guild or the effect of her powers. But everybody who does anything of worth in this town — they are going to hate her. This place runs on secrets. She makes secrets go away.”
“Tell me, then, what should be done.”
I look first at the cats and then at the governor’s nose, all red from the constant wiping and blowing. “Do your notes indicate Amber and I used to be romantically involved?”
“They do, as well that you gave her room at the Bottom Up after rescuing her from a squadron of brigands and a troll. It supports the idea that you may still have a crush on her.”
“Uh, yeah. It does, doesn’t it?” Again I pause for a moment to get my words correct. “Then it’s likely that I’m the only one left, now her father is dead, who can make any claim to knowing how she thinks and how she acts.”
“Go on.”
“So, she’s not going to be reined in. She has intentions to run the city. Not directly, but through her selected pawns. Even through you, as she’ll assume you will also be her tool. Everyone is beneath her. She never does anything slowly or with care. There will be a lot of collateral damage.”
Petapeterich simply nods his head.
“You’re going to want her stopped.”
“That is correct.”
“And you want me to do it.”
A second nod from the governor.
“And if I don’t agree, you’ll poison me again or throw me back into a wet, damp cell?”
“Let me put it in a more constructive frame. Your success in stopping her would demonstrate a true lack of ambition for my job. Plus, look under your seat.”
I swing forward and hang off the chair with my head upside down between my legs. Sitting beneath me this whole time has been a full case of wine, still with the maker’s wax insignia and sealing.
The family crest pressed into the wax needs no introduction. I start to drool and run off a little at the mouth. “That isn’t what you pilfered from my stores. This is a whole case of berrywood mead, still sealed, from the elvish clan Heloniam. That particular brewery has been out of business for more than a decade. Plus, elvish imports are illegal. On the black market that could be sold for enough to buy the Bottom Up and then some.”
The governor sits quietly, watching.
I don’t need to think about this any further. “You drive a hard bargain, but you’ve got yourself the right shortkin. Where do I begin!”
“I feel that the speed by which she is gathering information must be taxing her mystical limits to the extreme. The spying, the raids on the non-compliant merchants, the loss of mice and ravens to the cats I have conscripted. There have been many attempts to infiltrate the grounds. Last week the kitchen staff thought it was a full-blown plague that had been unleashed by some unnamed god in retaliation for the city fire. A full hundred-score of mice made a concerted effort to invade the grounds. Between the cats and the staff, though, we managed. It’s amazing what sort of meals one can create from so many mice.”
“Then she must be using something to power all that effort. Otherwise, it would consume her alive.”
“I believe the redevelopment of the Downwind may provide a clue.”
“I don’t. I couldn’t imagine Amber wanting to live downwind of the docks. With the right wind you’ll retch even in your sleep. That place is horrid.”
“Oh, I don’t think she’s there either. The interesting thing is why there’s a flurry of new building this last month in the Downwind.”
He waits for a moment to see if I get the meaning. I don’t, and I shake my head. I think I disappoint him.
“Pinty, it’s because it’s not downwind of anything anymore. Onc
e the Goblins realized what a building boom is going on down there, I sent them to the docks to investigate. I quote from a recent report of theirs: ‘Every night a blanket of mice devours anything from the sea. And above, ravens pick the morsels the mice can’t reach and fly off, only to return a few minutes later for more.’ Every night.”
“Ah, okay, and . . .”
“And there’s no downwind because every night her summoned minions pick clean everything that could make the docks stink.”
“Alright, then. To the docks it is.”
Petapeterich gives me the once over, unable to decide if I’m really that dumb, sighs and then finishes with the kicker. “Good. The rest of your team is in the hallway outside.”
Chapter 70
Team! I don’t need a team. I travel solo, just me and my faithful companion, Muel. Okay, so maybe that’s not exactly solo, but it’s close enough.
Out through the governor’s doors, dragging the wooden crate packed with twelve bottles of golden love, I’m confronted by Caia and Andeos. “Great, my two least favorite people at the moment. I suppose you’re my team.”
“Actually,” Andeos replies, “it’s more like you’re our annoying little brother who gets into trouble at every turn and papa has assigned us to watch over you.”
Caia nods. “Sounds about right to me.”
“Great, a pair of wiseasses providing competition in the humor department.”
Andeos gestures to the box that is making a significant gouge in the inlaid wooden floor. “You want a hand with that?”
I almost bite the hand he offers. “Keep your stinking hands off my wine. I can do this myself.”
“I’m trying to be civil, you ungrateful short stack of crap. You used me as a pincushion last time we met, which, I want to remind you, was after I saved your life.”
“Don’t forget the hospitality of the dungeon you provided.”
“That was strictly under orders, was all, and you’re going to hold that against me?”
“Until I think we’re even or you’re dead.”
“And again, slicing my chest open doesn’t make us equal?”
“I’m looking for even, Andeos, not equal. We’re even when I get more out of it than you do.”
“Wow, somebody got out of the wrong side of the bed today.”
“Even when adequately bribed,” I shoot a look back at the case of wine, “I don’t like being manipulated or being someone’s puppet. Every time I come from Pets’ office, I get the feeling I’m not in control of my life. So if you have a complaint with me, bring it up with your boss. He makes me grumpy.”
Caia jumps in. “No shit, Mr. Angry Pants. Want to share what is specifically ticking you off?”
“Yeah, that we’re a hit squad on Amber. I did date her for a while.”
“Well, I dated a lot of people that have since met a number of unusual or coincidental deaths.”
“I know, Caia. That doesn’t make this easier for me. I can be cold, but I don’t think I can easily be that cold of a killer. How about this: If there’s an opportunity, I want to be the one to take Amber down and I want it to do it fast and painless.”
Caia grins and nods. “I can agree to that. Wouldn’t have it any other way with my own kills. Andeos, you in on this?”
“Yeah, whatever. Just as long as we finish this soon.”
I stop dragging the crate. “Great. Then as leader of this team and the brains of this operation, I need one of you to carry the wine back to the Bottom Up, where we’ll eat, prep and go out once the sun sets.” I look Andeos directly in the eye. “And when I said one of you, I really meant you.”
Caia holds back Andeos until the rage passes. Then he picks up the wine.
“Don’t spill it!”
This is getting off to a great start.
Chapter 71
The reports were accurate. The wharf doesn’t smell of rotting fish, fish guts, fish bait, fish tackle, fish cakes or anything at all fishy. It’s almost pleasant. The wind is coming in from the sea and it laces the air with a trace of salt, but not much more.
Andeos comments on the lack of odor. “I think we’ve missed the first round. The mice and ravens tend to come in waves, sometimes three a night. It’s smellier before the first pass.”
Peering over a short stack of boxes, I ask “So where do they all go after they clean out the dock?”
Andeos doesn’t look back from his hiding spot off to the right, but he does answer. “No clue. We Goblins have more on our plates at the moment than discovering the answer to the cleaning brigade. No need to follow them, just gratitude for cleaning up the stench.”
“What about that natural curiosity? That sense of adventure?”
“We get enough adventure just keeping the merchants and others happy. Don’t need much more than that. Plus, there are enough special assignments, like trailing you, or the random ‘removal from politics’ gig,” Andeos air quotes those last few words, “that we keep busy enough.”
Caia chimes in, “Will the two of you just shut up for a minute. Pinty, I need you over here.”
I slide out from my position, sprint over to Caia, and hunker down beside her next to some fishing line and lobster traps. “Whatcha need me for? It can’t be my incredible good looks because I know what happens to the men you date.”
“I appreciate the humor. ‘Incredible good looks’ is a line I’m going to keep laughing at for years.” She fishes in her pocket and tosses me a small, metal hoop with a dollop of melted silver into which is pressed the hairs of some animal. “This is for you.”
It’s Andeos’ charm. “You picked it up from the fight. Nice grab.”
“Yeah, after the squawking and the beat of wings against the door subsided, I went down and cleaned up the mess, got Andeos back on his feet, checked on Tavos and found him dead, and noticed the charm left in the wreckage.”
“And Amber escaped out the secret passage?”
“I assume so. It’s not like she was there anymore and she couldn’t have come up the steps.”
“Good point.” I roll the charm around in my hand a moment. “Why give it back to me? I’m certain you could use it somehow. I mean, if Amber is giving you all this trouble, then why not use it yourself?”
“Because it’s not my style. There’s a bit too much uncertainty trying to take on Amber like that and I would much rather have my targets all sappy from post-coitus.”
I hold the circlet up to my face. It emits the faintest of blue light that would only be noticeable in the pitch of the night. I slide it into my front pocket. “Well, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Hey, that’s two favors you’re going to claim I owe you at some point. What are you working up to with this?”
“Only that once Amber is eliminated you don’t stand in the way of my taking leadership of the guild. It still needs someone at the helm and it’s a roll I can fill.”
“And the governor has already granted you his consent and blessing, hasn’t he?”
“He has. Can’t leave a void in leadership like that uncontrolled in this city. We’ve made certain arrangements. I believe that he thinks I’m, if not obedient, at least amenable to a collaborative relationship.”
“And the Goblins?”
“Andeos has enough on his plate. Plus, the governor likes the squad on a short leash. Impossible to run a guild in such a relationship.”
I look over to where Andeos should be, but I don’t see him. “Hmm. Never oppose something head-on if you’re guaranteed to lose. It leads to death. Congratulations, then.”
Caia leans over and gives me a peck on the cheek. “Thank you.”
I’m about to respond when a thousand little dots of reflective light start arriving on the docks. Andeos calls over from wherever his new position is, “Heads up, people. It’s happening.”
It certainly is. The patter of mice feet on the docks begins slowly, but builds rapidly as they blanket the wharf, a thousand-thousa
nd little feet running here, and there and little mouths stuffing themselves with anything edible.
Above, the darkening night sky becomes coarse black as the wings of ravens cover a vast amount of the sky. Voracious scavengers each and every one, they drop to the ground for morsels the mice cannot see or reach.
Chapter 72
I pull out a bag of fresh-rolled dough that Mavis kneaded this evening. From a second bag, I pour a pile of small, crystal shards. Working quickly, I push a single shard into each little round ball that I form from the dough. In a few moments I have more than a dozen of these surprise morsels arranged and ready on the lobster trap in front of me.
“Pinty, what are you doing?”
“You didn’t actually figure I wanted to merrily chase mice and ravens around the city all night long, did you? That would be a terrible waste of an evening for all concerned. I mean, that’s a sucky idea. This, on the other hand, is great.”
It’s like tossing fish food into a pond. I grab the tasty treats and scatter them into the roiling carpet of mice. As one, the mice converge on the bits of crystal-laced dough, bunching up in a frenzy that disperses only as one mouse or another manages to wolf down a ball or grab it in its teeth and run.
“Alright, now we can go home,” I yell. “Seriously, all done. Time for beauty sleep.”
Caia gives me a good looking at. “What are you up to? We’ve got a night ahead.”
“Nope, that crystal is deep sprite quartz. Hugely expensive. Usually only found well below the surface in massively-hot environments, buried under miles of rock. There’s some around in the city, but not a lot. For this town, it’s almost a unique substance. Tomorrow morning I’m going to find me a mage, get a tracking spell and use these bits to locate Amber. Easy peasy.”
“You dragged us out in the night when you could have done this yourself?”
I start with a big grin and end with, “Well, yeah. I would be bored all alone out here!”
She wallops me with a right fist straight to the jaw. As I go down for the count, I can just barely make out, “Beauty sleep, my ass.”
Chapter 73
“So why, exactly, are we back here at the docks?”
“Because I made an error.” Andeos is bemused and Caia is downright pissed, glaring at me from the corner. I ignore her stare and continue on. “I thought that the two of you might bail on a second night down at the wharves. Glad to have you both back.”