Read Melee, Magic & Puke Page 18


  “I’ve got orders to get this done, but her,” Andeos points a thumb in Caia’s general direction, “I’m surprised she is here as well.”

  “Give me a minute.” I stand up and walk three paces to where a very angry Caia sits. Her first words don’t encourage me.

  “I think I could kill you without having slept with you first.”

  “I would much prefer the opposite. Anyways, look, here we are enjoying another evening, mostly alone. I brought a little food if you’re hungry.”

  Caia ignores my charm. “You didn’t answer Andeos’ question. Why we are here again for the second night in a row?”

  “Ahh, that.”

  “Yup.”

  “It turns out that if you smash the quartz small enough to be consumed by mice, it becomes extremely difficult to detect. Not impossible, just very difficult.”

  “So, how close?”

  I preemptively bring my arm up in front of my face to block another blow, pretending to scratch my head while thinking. Caia shouldn’t be able to one-punch me this way. “A couple feet.”

  “What! That’s freaking useless! You idiot! Imbecile!” Caia spins away.

  There are a few minutes of silence from the three of us. Likely the two of them are waiting to see if I can put my foot in my mouth far enough to provoke a physical assault. With amazing and world-class self-control, I manage to keep quiet.

  It’s Caia who finally speaks first. “If I kill you it’s unlikely I would still have your support for the position of guild master.”

  “It would be much more difficult, but I would certainly still try.”

  “Fine. Then there’s one thing required to help make amends.”

  “What?”

  “Give me the charm back.”

  “Seriously? What value is it to you?”

  “The ‘you pissed me off and I want the charm back’ value.”

  “Seems kind of petty.”

  “I’m okay with that. Now give me the charm.”

  I look to Andeos, who has diplomatically turned his back on the two of us. The nape of his neck gives no hints as to what I should do.

  “Fine.” I pull the circlet out of the pocket and hand it back to Caia, who dons it. “So we’re good?”

  “No, but close enough for now.”

  Andeos turns. “If you’re finished, I think we have company.”

  And with that, the wave of mice and the squall of ravens return. Unlike last night, we’re going to follow them.

  Chapter 74

  I give up on the ravens immediately. The moment they have food, they take wing and fly low, weaving through the streets, alleys and abandoned lots. I’m just not fast enough to chase them. That leaves the mice.

  Mice I think I can handle. There are a lot, so while I can’t follow just one, I can stalk them all as a group. I take off running and Andeos and Caia follow.

  The bulk of the mice move across the docks, picking through everything, while a steady stream, those that have found food, break from the pack and head back into the city.

  Bounding forward, I race through the inconsistent path of mice, following as they meander through the intersections and pass through abandoned buildings that I skirt around to pick up the trail on the other side. I crawl through culverts, scale fences and track back several times as the mice wander in a crazy, maddening route.

  I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to follow mice in the dark, unlit streets of a filthy city. In doing so, you’ll be rewarded in the same manner as I have been: with crap-drenched clothes. How I love what I do. Seriously, I do.

  But if you follow mice long enough, they will lead you where you want to go.

  I’ve crisscrossed a third of the city, but in the end the mice lead back to the wharves. I turn another corner in the warren of streets and spot someone I know.

  “Janis.”

  He wasn’t expecting me, but takes my appearance in stride. Standing, he brings his scabbard forward and places a hand on the sword’s hilt. “Pinty. Not thinking that you would show up. You be heading along now, won’t you. Otherwise,” and he giggles a bit, “I’ll need to run you through.”

  He’s standing in front of a building I recognize. The sign on the building confirms it’s the Sea Maiden.

  “Health inspector. This place is shut down, though I have reason to believe its back in operation. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to see the premises.”

  “Ha! You, a health inspector! You, serving the swill you do at the Bottom Up. That’s a laugh. Anyways, shove off.” He draws his sword and moves to block the entrance. Mice stream by his feet into the building.

  “Now that was uncalled for. The Bottom Up has top-notch swill, good enough to pass any health inspection there is. Gourmet swill. Top class.” I look back for my two companions, but they’ve fallen well behind. They’ve either lost the trail completely or will show up in time to mop up whatever I leave standing. For all practical consideration, I’m on my own. “So, you going to let me inside or not?”

  “Nope.”

  “I saved your life once and you called me friend. I can’t do that in this situation. Come on, Janis, step aside.”

  The response is a shrug of the shoulders and a frown, punctuated with a sad little giggle. “It’s my job, Pinty. I’ve got a job.”

  It’s obvious that further discussion will have no effect on my entry to the Sea Maiden.

  I’m still out in the middle of the street, so pulling one of the weighted knives from its sheath I fling it at Janis. He turns sideways, dodging the blade that buries itself in the wall behind him.

  That gives me the time to mount the porch and close in. My hands go to my sides and come up with a new knife in each. I lunge forward, the left blade going for his crotch, the right going up to deflect his sword. The steel in his sword rings as it connects with my blocking dagger. I lose my grip and the knife ricochets away. Instinctively, I stop lunging and turn it into a roll, avoiding his follow-up strike that, had I remained attacking, would have run me through.

  On exiting the roll, I switch the knife from the left hand to the right, turn, and size up the situation. “Nice thrust.”

  “Shut up and fight.” Janis brings his sword arcing across the few feet of the porch, but I’m just out of reach.

  The railing is old, but solid. I jump to it and then the Sea Maiden sign above. My free hand grabs hold of the frame and the sign swings out into the street and back, with me holding on. It comes back fast enough that I can launch myself through the air — right into Janis.

  My legs wrap around his chest. I grab his collar and yank myself close. For a moment he’s standing there and I’m attached to him, too close for him to swing his sword. He tries to bring his fist up to cuff me, but it is too late.

  I ram my knife up through the soft part of his jaw with enough force to reach his brain. There’s a moment there where his eyes open up wide, followed by his collapse. I make sure that I land on top of him, then disengage, pulling the knife back out. A few spasms and Janis lies quiet.

  I look back down the street, but still see nothing of Andeos or Caia.

  Well then, time to go inside.

  Chapter 75

  Inside is exactly how I remember it: some long tables in the middle, a few side tables and a bar. The Sea Maiden isn’t nearly as big as the Bottom Up, but it’s still sizeable.

  In the middle of the common room, hunched over one of the tables, surrounded by her mice and raven subjects, sits Amber. The tabletop is wet with the slurry of little bits of carcass, rot and other edibles collected from the wharf and dropped here by her pets. Her clothes are soaked through and her hands and face are dripping with the regurgitated chunks she so enthusiastically scoops hand-over-hand into her face.

  I’m stunned by the debauchery of chuck and stand there, taking it all in.

  Amber stops shoving bits into her mouth long enough to say, “Well, don’t just stand there. Pull up a chair. There might be enough for two of us to dine.??
?

  “That’s simply disgusting.”

  “It is what it is.” The parade of mice and ravens keep adding bits of flesh to the table.

  “Seriously, really?” I sheath the knife and go over to the table, careful about not stepping on any mice.

  Amber licks the fingers of her hand. “Yeah, well, it appears to be the one way I can rapidly power back my aether. I have to be fed by them, my summons.”

  “And you have a lot of summoned currently active.”

  “So it requires a lot of feeding. It really isn’t as bad as it looks. Try some?”

  “Yeah, no. Pass.” A mouse on the table makes some heaving sounds and then barfs up a small chunk of something that may have been partially fish at some time. It lands in the rest of the slurry.

  “Suit yourself.” Amber stops eating for a moment and her eyes get that far off look. “Ahhh, that’s not good. You’ve killed Janis.” She focuses again on the world around her, back from scrying through the eyes of her summoned. “Then I suppose that you’re here to finish me off as well. Did you bring companions like last time?”

  It would be great timing if Caia or Andeos came through the front door at this moment, but they don’t. “I did, but I’m not sure where they’re at currently. I could likely use their help.”

  “Don’t sweat it.”

  “You sure you couldn’t, you know, just stop?”

  “As much as you could stop being you.”

  “I guess each of us has our own destiny, our own drive and passion.”

  Amber looks me over and smiles. “And doing me in will complete your destiny?”

  “Mine? That I don’t know. Hey, you know the water witch Mirabel? She told me —”

  “That tramp!” Talking right over me, Amber looks right in my eyes and continues. “You know she’ll sleep with anyone. She has no concept of taste. None. At. All.”

  “Yeah, well . . . yeah, that one. Nevermind then, I can see this conversation won’t go anywhere good.” I look around. The mice, the ravens, they keep coming to the table, dropping off more morsels and then heading out. As far as I can tell, there isn’t anyone else around. “You alone?”

  “And here I thought we were having a nice conversation when all you’re doing is casing the place.” She stops eating for a moment, lifts her hands in front of her, and uses the aether to turn them deep black, with the hint of beaks and wings protruding. “You really want to go at it? Right now?”

  It’s impressive. I know what she can bring to the table. I’m completely honest in my response. “Not a chance. Nope.”

  “Then what’s the next move? You just leave?”

  “No. with the current situation, all the cards in your hand, it’s not that I want to take you out, but that I can’t leave. Even though I’ll be fighting as the underdog, the bell has already rung.”

  “Yeah, you always like to have the tables in your favor.”

  “Preferably. Speaking of which, I have the following to say.”

  Amber scoops up another bit of slurry and answers with a full mouth. “And that is?”

  I look past her shoulder. “You promised me I could be the one to take her down.”

  Amber stops chewing, food spilling out. “Ah, shit. Andeos.”

  Chapter 76

  It really freaking hurts when talons and beaks rip across your face.

  Amber unleashes on me at point blank, two feet away, her arms turning to pitch as an avian avalanche tears through the air. If I’m lucky, I’ll still have cheeks, ears, throat and a scalp after all this. I cover my eyes with gloved hands and collapse under the table for protection.

  Sheltered from the blast of birds, I reach back and pull up my hoodie. Made of strong leather and reinforced, it should provide some minimal protection from her birds. With the drawstring pulled tight, my only exposed flesh is my face, which I’m pretty sure I can protect, given a moment to compose myself.

  While taking that moment, I hear Caia start to scream.

  This hasn’t begun well. But I knew it wouldn’t.

  Even invisible, if you stand in a lake of mice, they’re going to run into your feet. And Caia, standing behind Amber, is enveloped in a lake of mice. Nothing stops them as they swarm her legs, burrow through layers of clothes, and try to strip her flesh as they climb.

  Amber stands from the table and turns in the direction of Caia. “That’s not Andeos’ scream!”

  Her arms still outstretched, Amber now belches forth scores and more of mice. These mice, falling from her midnight reach, land and race forward, joining their brethren, who are fervently attacking Caia.

  I make a decision. Caia can either be devoured while I take out Amber or I can do something to help against the tsunami of mice. I don’t want to give up on taking out Amber, but letting Caia perish is wrong.

  I scamper from under the table, fending off a pair of angry birds, spring to a stool by the wall, tear down a lantern, and fling it right at Caia. It explodes in a ball of hot oil and flame. The room alights — everything is on fire. Mice are scorched by the hundreds and ravens fall out of the air or careen senselessly into the walls as they burn. Caia stumbles back, regains her balance, and sprints off to the kitchen, all the while leaving embers floating in the air as she and her clothing char from the hot oil.

  I look over to Amber. If a look of rage could kill, I would certainly be dead. In response, I smile and draw my favorite knife. “It’s time, Amber. No more playing.”

  She spreads her fingers towards me and bows her head. “I’ll mourn for you, Pinty, but not longer than expected for a traitor.” I realize too late that she’s communing with her summoned. Every raven and mouse ever birthed from those arms will soon fill the Sea Maiden.

  Am I a bad person if I momentarily think of tracking down Caia and taking back that charm? It might be really helpful in a moment.

  The stool starts to teeter underneath me and I hop down, landing on several mice that make a crunching sound underneath my boots. Turning, I hit the bar, grab the edge, slide over the top and drop to the other side.

  I have another moment to think as the bar stops the ravens from flying straight at me. The few that fly over the bar and then dive bomb me are easily swept away with a waved strike of the blade.

  “Marco.”

  “You know I’m hiding on the other side of the bar. I’m not answering that dumb call.”

  That doesn’t stop her. “Marco.”

  “Seriously, stop that. We’re not twelve.”

  “Marco.”

  “Fine! I relent! Polo!”

  I immediately regret saying “Polo”. Amber has a wicked sense of timing. Responding just encourages her. As I call back she pokes her head over the bar and plunges a dagger into my shoulder. “You’re it!”

  By the time I find the blade in my shoulder and pull it free, she’s already ducked back. I toss the blade to the ground and climb a step box to see over the bar.

  Amber is standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed, with a giant smirk on her face. To her left and right and on the rafters above, a black host of ravens perches. She says one word, “Go,” and they lift in flight.

  I’m fast enough to drop down again for cover and, in doing so, scores of birds hit the wall of glass and liquor behind the bar, showering me with shattered glasses, beer and their own stunned bodies.

  That gives me a dangerous idea. I grab some of the remaining bottles of alcohol and chuck them into the smoldering oil fire I started moments ago. The action rewards me with an energetic flame that begins to spread while releasing greasy, billowing smoke.

  “You already played this game. How much more of this town do you plan to burn?”

  “Just this additional building. It’s not you, but professional jealousy. They make a damn fine soup here and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity of killing two birds with one stone. Sorry about the pun.” I’m counting on the flames and the smoke to overcome Amber’s control over her birds and mice. Peeking over the bar, I s
ee my plan is working. Survival instincts trump a summoner’s control, and there is a rout of winged and four-legged creatures from the Sea Maiden.

  Caia takes this moment to come back out from the kitchen. With the ongoing chaos, smoke, flame and the protection of the charm, Amber fails to notice her return. Caia, burned, bitten and flayed, stalks directly to Amber. Drawing a thin blade sword from her scabbard, she yells: “You had your chance, Pinty. Now I get mine.”

  Confirmed. Amber doesn’t see or hear her at all.

  I’m over the bar and racing to the two of them, leaping puddles of oil and alcohol flames, and piles of fallen birds and burnt mice. We all act in unison.

  Amber only sees me running a beeline towards her and, thinking I’m going for a killing blow, tries to straight-arm me. Instead, I reach Amber just as Caia does. I dodge the straight arm, grab Amber’s other hand and yank her towards the front door.

  At the same time, Caia completes a textbook-perfect lunge. But with my dragging Amber back and away, the blade only nicks Amber’s belly in a shallow, non-threatening strike.

  A moment later I’m out the front door, Amber in tow right behind me. I stop short and, using her momentum to my advantage, twist up and toss her off the porch in a nice, neat arc. The thud of her landing badly is highly rewarding to my ears.

  Caia bursts through the door a moment later. “You dumbass, Pinty. I had her.”

  “Not dumb, selfish. I want the kill. For lost love, for betraying me, for using me. I want the kill.”

  “Hell, now you’re starting to sound like me, Pinty.”

  “Then maybe you’ll understand. I have my opportunity and I’m taking it.”

  I approach Amber, who is slowly shaking off the tumble. I look past her and see Andeos running towards us. He took his own sweet time.

  “It’s the end, Amber. I’ll make this swift.” Holding her close, one hand on her cheek I whisper “I’m sorry it has to end this way.” Her eyes are still glazed. I don’t know if she understands what’s about to happen. It might be best this way.

  The knife in my hand flashes forward. With the clean blow I perform she should make one last gasp of breath and expire, but she doesn’t. Instead, she screams in pain. It wasn’t clean. I missed her heart.

  Chapter 77

  “Gods, Pinty. Can you try to not screw up something for once?”