“Sarah’s right, you are a good soul. Take a bite. You deserve it,” Blake teased, shoving a cookie in my face. I had no choice but to bite it.
“Thanks,” I moved the box I’d already gone through closer to show Blake. I showed him the jewelry and then elbowed him in the gut for calling my Mr. Snuffleupagus a rat.
“I’m sorry. Here. Have another bite.”
I took a bite of the cookie and held a piece in my mouth while Blake bit the other end, letting the crumbs fall between us. I shook from a cold chill when he licked them from chest. He laughed.
“Are you cold?”
“No, your tongue did it. I told you I was ready to take my clothes off as soon as you came in here.”
“I’m planning on letting you take your clothes off, but I want to see. I know Makayla pretty well. Show me who Mikki is.”
I smiled and retrieved a bag of stones. They were safely in the same purple velvet pouch I put them in years before. That was a fun night, before my grandma went to the hospital. I pulled the gold string and opened Blake’s hand, beautiful gems in all colors filled his palm. He smiled and moved them around, creating colorful lighting along the wall.
“Where did you get these?”
“It was my first and last camping trip, before Pea. I wanted to do it for my birthday. I knew Grandma Rhonda and mom didn’t want to do it, but they did it. It was horrible. Nobody checked the tent before we got there. It had holes all through it and two of the poles were missing. It rained on our feet and every dry thing we had got soaked. Some animal came in and ate all of our food, and we got the car stuck in the mud.”
“And you found a treasure?” Blake questioned, letting the colored gems pour from his hand to mine. I formed the same funnel and poured them back into the pouch.
“We only stayed one night because everyone was so miserable. On our way home my Grandma Rhonda saw an old wooden sign that said something about treasure hunting and panning for gold. The sun was out, but I wasn’t feeling warm and fuzzy. That was my birthday trip and it was awful. My mom took two whole vacation days for that horrible night. Anyway, this was a place to pan for gold and dig for treasure. These things were hidden, but all over the place. We spent hours and hours walking around the property in search of more treasure, I got a free little black bag, but my mom and grandma finished off a bottle of Crown Royal and gave me this bag. We stayed in a tree-house cabin there and they got drunk. It turned out to be the best birthday ever. I’m going to give them to Pea,” I smiled, opening my hand again.
I put them away and went through the entire box with Blake. I found a ceramic unicorn that I didn’t remember where I got it, but I always loved it. It sat on my dresser for as long as I could remember. There was a jelly bracelet made out of colored rubber bands, birthday cards, a pocket knife that I found in the park, a snow globe I won at the fair and a little sundress my mom made for me as a toddler. Everything Charlie boxed for me meant something and it warmed my heart. They were all happy memories and I cherished the identification I felt to all of them. Remembering that there were good times, that I was blessed, and that everything happened for a reason, I put the last item back into the box.
“Your turn. Barry told me you and Janie broke up. You never told me that,” I said, kicking the box with my foot.
“What? Why would he tell you that? Why was he talking about that, period?”
“I asked him. I wanted to know.”
“Why? I would rather keep hearing about you. What’s in there?” he nodded to the third box.
“I barely looked. It’s a box of photo albums. I don’t know if I’m ready for that one yet.”
“What’s the worst that could happen? You’ll write on yourself? My ass hurts. Let’s go to the carpet.”
“That’s not funny. You mean our tent couch?” I teased, letting him pull me up.
“That’s it. No furniture for you.”
“I’m sorry, please take me to get furniture. I take it back.”
“Fine, but I still want to see pictures of you as a baby.”
“Tell me about breaking up with Janie.”
“I didn’t break up with her, she broke up with me.”
“Why? Barry said you were destructive.”
Blake snorted and hit the button for the fire, “Remind me not to tell you anything.”
“Blake it’s hot in here. Why? What do you mean by that? I want you to tell me everything.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want you going and telling the world.”
“Oh, I get it. But it’s you. If Barry said something bad about your mom, I wouldn’t tell her.”
“But you’ll tell me he called me destructive?”
“But it’s you,” I stated again.
“So you’re telling me that you tell me everything?”
Well hell. Open mouth. Insert foot. I walked over and kicked the air on before sitting next to him in the camping chairs.
“Yes,” I straight out lied, lacing my fingers with his. He picked up my hand and kissed my knuckles with a heavy sigh. Why? Why did he just breathe that way? Why did I feel like I let him down?
“What do you want to know?”
“Tell me about Janie breaking up with you.”
“It’s going to hurt.”
“Me or you?”
“You mostly. You’ve made this magical little bubble around Janie and me; a perfect bubble that nothing or no one could puncture. It wasn’t always like that, we weren’t perfect and we weren’t always perfect together.”
“I don’t believe that. You were connected to her from the first time you saw her. You told me that.”
“Just because she was my strongest addiction, doesn’t mean we were perfect.”
“Why do I feel like you’re about to make an excuse for something you did?”
“I’m not making excuses. I did that. I did that for a very long time. Do you know why I stopped making excuses?”
“Why?” I asked, wishing we were back on the floor. I wanted to be closer than this. I wanted his arms wrapped around me.
“Because there was this trouble making girl that came crashing into me one day, and rocked my world. She was feisty, but so innocent. She made me see things from a perspective that I refused to see. She made me hear my daughter giggle for the first time and she made me realize that I fucked up. That I was a teenage boy, trying to figure it out too, and that’s okay. It’s okay to admit that and not make an excuse for it. I hurt Janie for reasons I had no control over. I was dealing with something that destroyed me, and being destructive is putting it nicely.”
***
“Are you coming? I want to get there before the alcohol is all gone.”
“We’re not back yet. We’re on our way now.”
“What the hell, Janie. It was a college visit. How can you not be home yet?”
“I wanted to take my time and see everything. If I’m going to live there, I am going to check it all out.”
“Whatever. Just meet me there.”
“I’ll text you.”
Janie: You stupid idiot! You know I am with my parents. They’re not going to drop me off at a party. Come get me.
Blake: How much longer?
Janie: I don’t know, like thirty minutes. You can’t wait thirty minutes before you get trashed and I spend my night babysitting?
Blake: You don’t have to go…
Janie: You’re an ass. Fine, go by yourself. See if I give a FUCK!
Blake: Oh my God Janie Lynn. Stop being a drama queen! I’ll be there in thirty minutes.
Janie: Me? I’m the drama queen? Give me an hour. I need to shower.
Blake: Whatever.
I went over to my buddy Jerome’s to wait for Janie to get home and happily took my first shot. By the time she was calling my phone, wondering where the hell I was at, I was good and drunk.
“Hey, Janie. I was just going to call you,” I slurred in the phone.
“Nice, Blake. You’re drunk.”
&n
bsp; “Yeah, I better not drive. You know what happens when Coast men drive drunk.”
“I’m not doing this. Whatever, Blake. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I’m tired anyway.”
“Of course you are. I’ll see you around.”
“You’ll see me around?”
I hung up not wanting her angry tone to bring down my mood. It was a Friday night, no parents were around, and there was more booze than I needed. Oh, and the hot chicks walking around Jerome’s pool. New York in January made me grateful I had a rich friend with an indoor pool. Half naked bodies were everywhere.
I didn’t think about her once. I was too busy having fun and flirting with hot girls in bikinis. Life was grand.
“Come on, let’s dance.”
“Oh, I can’t, but thanks. I’m sort of with someone,” I said, smiling at two perfect round tits. Wow.
“Sure you can. She’s not here, and you’ve been watching us all night.”
“Us?”
“Yes, me and my girls here,” she explained, busting me.
“I better not. She finds out everything I do as it is.”
“That sucks. One of those, huh?”
“What do you mean? No, I just mean we run with the same crowd. One of these girls would have their thumbs on their dial pad in two minutes.”
“It’s just a dance. Please?”
I took a deep breath and looked at her girls again, “Okay.”
“Your name’s Blake Coast, right?”
“Yes, and you’re Tia. You’re Chloe’s friend,” I responded, pulling her body close to mine. Whoa. I don’t know what kind of music was playing, techno I think. The bass was sick and my jeans became instantly tight. Tia was taller than Janie and I knew my hardness was thrusting into her pelvic bone. I had a strong desire to fuck her. I did too, just not that night.
Janie showed up with this new best friend. I didn’t like her before I met her that night. She was always talking about ‘me and Farrah this, me and Farrah that’, and I was sick of hearing about it. They met right before my dad decided to be an idiot. They got closer after he decided to be an idiot because I decided to be an idiot. I wasn’t around her like I once was. She met Farrah at some banquet that I didn’t want to go to. They ended up hanging out together and now they were like long lost sisters.
My body swayed with Tia’s and her hips danced into mine. One hand held her hip, pulling it toward me, and one held my empty beer. I wanted so bad to sneak a finger or two between her legs. Had it been Janie I would have. That made me even harder just thinking about it.
“Dude, Janie’s watching you,” Wayne informed me, bumping my shoulder like it was an accident.
“Fuck,” I said, looking up to see her ghostly white face. I’ll never forget it. She looked like I did the day I got that call. Like I just crushed her with a bat too.
“Great, see ya around. I hate drama,” Tia announced, turning to see what was about to get ugly. She walked away, bailing on me and left me standing there. My eyes stayed locked with Janie’s. I didn’t give a shit about Tia. Janie broke the contact when her eyes went to the extremely obvious hard-on; deflating, but not quick enough.
“Janie, wait,” I called when she spun around.
“I fucking hate you. Leave me alone.”
“Janie, nothing happened. That was it, that right there.”
“Yeah, only because you got fucking caught. Don’t fucking touch me,” she yelled, shoving me in the chest.
“Come on, Janie Lynn,” her dimwit friend, coaxed.
“Get the fuck off of her!” I screamed, shoving her hand away.
“Don’t touch me,” she snapped.
“Bitch, just back the fuck off. I’m talking to my girlfriend,” I gritted out, moving between the two of them. Who the hell did this chick think she was?
“Blake, just let me go. Go back to your party.”
“No, Janie. We’re going to talk about this.”
“Let go, Blake!” she ordered through clenched teeth, trying to break the grasp I had around her wrist.
“Cops!” someone yelled from the front room. The place went crazy and people ran. It was a madhouse.
“Come on,” I coaxed, pulling Janie to run with me.
“No! I’m not the one drinking. I’m not the one going to get into trouble.”
Janie jerked away and I did what I had to do. I ran. Unfortunately, it wasn’t fast enough. I got an underage consumption and one hell of an ass chewing from Holden. He kept me busier and busier after that. I know it was for my mom, I knew he was trying to help her out when she was at her wits end with me, and truth be told, it’s a good thing he was there. I don’t know where I would have been without him.
My mom picked me up from the police station that night and Janie wouldn’t talk to me. I walked the floor in my room night, after night, after night. I saw Holden every day at the resort, but he wouldn’t help me.
“Blake, give it a rest. Focus on your high school diploma and getting in to college. Take a break from Janie, it would do you both some good,” Holden told me. The longer she went without talking to me the madder I got. I didn’t fuck anyone. I was in the middle of thirty or more people. She didn’t have any right to be this pissed off at me.
By the sixth night I was going crazy. I had never gone that many days without talking to Janie. I was in my room, staring out the window with my phone when my mom tapped on my door.
“Where are you going?” I asked, seeing the dress and heels.
“I told you earlier. I’m going to dinner and an art show with the Holden’s. You can order a pizza if you want. Here’s twenty bucks.”
“Okay, I’ll see you later,” I coolly replied and turned back around.
“Blake, I hate seeing you like this. Call Wayne. Go see a movie.”
“I don’t want to see a movie, I want to see Janie. Hey, is she going to be there?”
“You’re not going. You don’t even like art.”
“Is she?”
“No, Blake. You’re not going.”
“She is. Please, Mom. I’m begging you. I will be on my best behavior. I won’t fight with her. I promise. I just want to see her. I’ll even wear a suit. Please,” I begged like I used to do when I was a kid.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Stay home. Let it work itself out.”
“It’s not going to. Please.”
“Sarah’s going to kill me.”
“No she won’t. Sarah loves me,” I excitedly exclaimed, running across the hall to the shower.
“Hurry!” she called after me. No problem. No problem at all. I couldn’t get ready fast enough. And I didn’t even mind the suit.
My mom’s arm looped with mine and the hostess led us to our awaiting party; to Janie—
Janie sat between Farrah… and some dude!? What. The. Fuck?
“Behave. He’s probably with her friend,” my mom whispered with a nudge. He wasn’t with her cunt-face friend. He was with Janie. The shock on her face told me he was. Holden stood and shook my hand with a very firm grip. The look in his eye and the pain in my hand settled me. The warning was heard loud and clear.
I nodded a hello in Sarah’s direction and then to Farrah. My eyes locked with Janie’s and I sat right across from her. “Janie,” I spoke with the same courtesy, “who’s your friend? I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met, I’m Blake, Janie’s boyfriend.”
“Oh my God, Blake. Really?”
“Blake,” Holden instantly chastised.
“I’m Blake, and you are?” I smiled, offering my hand.
“Um, Ryan. Nice to meet you.”
“Like wise.”
“Blake,” Holden warned again.
I shut up and glared across the table at Janie. Holden talked about Ryan being in business school, and told him a lot about the business. I listened with disgust while my leg bounced up and down below the table. I was hot. I was so mad I could see red. Ryan sucked up to Holden like some dog in heat. It was sickening. Even
with the thick tension, the evening was comical. I watched Janie like a hawk and Ryan charmed the pants off of everyone at the table. What a fake fucker.
Janie and I were the only two who declined desert. Ryan was just about to tell a story about graduating at the top of his high school class.
“Let’s dance, Janie,” I interrupted. My cloth napkin fell to the table and I offered her my hand.
“Blake,” Holden warned again. I didn’t falter. I stood like a soldier and waited for her to take my hand.
“No, it’s fine, dad. I need a minute alone with him,” Janie responded. She stood and tossed her own cloth napkin to the table.
I was such an idiot. That Tia girl that smelled like a French whore had nothing on Janie Lynn. Her body molded with mine and I took in her scent. God, I missed her.
“I’m sorry, Janie. I don’t know why I did that. I’m sorry for hurting you.”
“Shut up. I don’t want to cry anymore.”
“You cried?”
“For the last six nights. My parents are right, Blake. We’ve been doing this since we were kids. I think we need to take a break. I don’t want to see you anymore. Once your mom sells the theater, we won’t have any reason to see each other. We don’t have to go to the same school.”
“Yes we do. That’s our plan. We’re not breaking up, Janie. I screwed up. I’m sorry.”
“All you want to do is drink.”
“You like doing that.”
“Not every time we’re together. You’re so dark and angry. I hate it.”
“I’m sorry, Janie. That doesn’t change the fact that you brought a guy here? Who the hell is he?”
“Me having a nice dinner with a nice guy is nothing. You rubbing your junk all over some skank is something.”
“I know and I told you, I was drunk. I didn’t do anything with that girl.”
“But I think you would have. I honestly think had I not showed up, you would have.”
“I wouldn’t. I swear. Let’s just get out of here. We’ll take my mom’s car and go somewhere and talk.”
“I don’t want to, Blake. I don’t want to see you anymore. We’re young. Let’s take a break.”