I look down at the boy who’s remained hidden from my world for thirteen years. His hair is dark like his mother’s but his skin is lighter, more like Rob’s. He’s tiny, smaller than I imagined he’d be, with a very thin and angular face. His arms and legs are bent sharply at every joint in a way that looks very uncomfortable. His body is bent to the side, leaning toward his mother. He stares off into space, giving me the impression he doesn’t even know I’m here. My heart goes out to him and his parents, and I have to battle to hold back the tears that want to burst out of me.
I bend down and touch his shoulder. “Hi, Brian. It’s really nice to meet you.” I have to look to the side and wipe tears away and clear my throat before I can continue. “What are you doing today? Drawing some pictures?” There’s a paper on the table in front of him and a crayon.
“Yes, he is,” says Val, taking her son’s hand and the crayon together. She pulls his arm gently toward the table and uses her own hand to guide him with his drawing. “Today we’re just doodling. Brian isn’t in the mood to draw a picture.”
Her hand jerks and then she smiles. “Or maybe he is in the mood. Let’s see.”
Rob’s hand gently comes to my shoulder and rests there as we watch the crayon move. Val holds her hand steady, and I get the impression she’s moving around the paper like it’s a ouija board, letting her son’s spirit create what’s in his mind.
Slowly but surely, what looks distinctly like a happy face appears on the paper. Val lets the crayon drop and gently moves her son back into his chair. A shoulder harness seatbelt that she tightens holds him in place.
She looks up at me, her smile so bright it lights up the room. “Brian is happy to meet you too.”
I stand, needing circulation back in my legs. Rob hugs me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder as he looks at his son. “He’s a very talented artist,” he says, his voice a little hoarse. “I have a whole book of his drawings at home.”
A spark of inspiration hits me as I take a seat across from Brian at the table and take a paper and crayon for myself. “You should introduce him to Sarah,” I say, drawing a house with a tree next to it.
Val sits back in her chair, resting her hand on her son’s arm. “Who’s Sarah?”
I smile, realizing that I’m now championing the woman who I blamed for helping to ruin my life. “She’s my brother’s wife. She’s an artist. She works with paint, and she’s really talented. Maybe she could come out and work with Brian a little some day.”
I glance at Rob and he looks so hopeful and sad at the same time it makes me want to burst. I’m so going to sleep with him out in the parking lot.
“Did you hear that, Brian?” Val says, sounding very excited. “An artist! And you love painting, don’t you?” She looks at me to explain. “He’s worked with paint before, but it was always such a mess. We’ve mostly stuck with the crayons and colored pencils.”
Brian starts jerking his head around and we all look at him.
“Okay, Buddy,” Rob says, reaching out and stroking his son’s face. “I’ll bring Sarah out here to see you.”
I swallow over and over to keep the tears at bay. I had no idea I could love someone this much. Whatever I felt before for Rob pales in comparison to what I’m feeling now.
Chapter Thirty-Five
AFTER AN HOUR OF COLORING and chatting, a few kisses and hugs shared with Brian and Val, we leave. His nap time has arrived and Val likes to have that time alone with her son. After having seen what she must go through every day, worrying about her baby, I can understand why Rob defers to her and does whatever he can to make her happy. Seeing him like this has made me realize I never really knew him at all, and he’s way more amazing than I could have ever dreamed him to be.
“So where to now?” he asks, walking next to me down the long drive to the parking lot.
I lace my cold fingers through his warm ones and he stuffs them both into his coat pocket. “Wherever you want to go. Or do.” I say, thinking about him naked. His apartment’s over an hour from here. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off him for that long.
He stops and I keep going. My hand in his pocket yanks me back. “What?” I ask, pretending like I don’t know what’s going on.
“Or do?” He grins. “Did I hear that right?”
I shrug. “Maybe.”
He leans down, kissing me gently. Then he whispers against my mouth. “I know a really quaint B&B just down the street if you’re interested.”
I pull my hand from his pocket and grab the lapels of his coat, pulling him against me. “Oh, I’m interested, believe me.”
He picks me up and grabs me, smashing his lips into mine. The kiss quickly grows hot as our tongues battle for position and remind us of other intimate invasions. “I can’t get enough of you,” he moans, his tongue sliding against mine, making me want to press my body into his more so I can feel every part of him.
“Me too,” I say, breathless, needing to be out of these clothes immediately.
“Come on,” he says, ending the kiss and hugging me fiercely before letting me go. “We need to hurry up or I’m going to do something I’ll regret.”
“Like having sex in the parking lot,” I suggest as he drags me toward the car. I can totally picture it, the windows all steamed up, my feet on the windshield.
“Don’t tempt me,” he growls, looking back at me to scold me.
I wink. “Why not?”
The parking lot is surrounded by trees. Our car is not the only one out here, but there’s no one around; everyone’s either in the building, which we can’t see from where we are, or they’re out on the road, on their way to the parking lot. Or maybe there’s no one on their way here. Maybe we’ll be alone out here for a long time.
He walks me around to my side of the car and goes to open the door. I lean on it and stop him.
“What?” he asks.
“I need you now.” I say, giving him that look that says I’m not kidding.
“The B&B’s just…” He looks over his shoulder and starts to point, but I interrupt him by grabbing his coat and pulling him against me.
“Now.” My hands go around his waist and I press my hips into his. He’s already hard, and I know I’m ready.
He looks around desperately and then seconds later is undoing is belt. “You’re completely crazy, you know that?”
I lift up my dress and slide my panties down, thankful that I thought to wear thigh-high stockings under my knee-high boots.
“Oh my god,” he says in a rough whisper. “You’re not wearing anything else under there?”
I lift my dress so he can see my stockings stopped at my upper thighs. “Nothing? I have stockings on.” I say it with all innocence, but I know what it’ll do to him.
His hard length drops out of the front of his pants and quickly finds my center. Rob grabs my leg and hikes it up to his hip, pressing himself into me as I get in better position. I’m so ready for him, he just slides right into me, filling me and giving me exactly what I wanted.
“Oh yes,” I whisper, holding onto his shoulders. He slides out a little and then pushes in again. I meet his thrust, pushing my hips forward as far as I can. My legs tremble with the effort.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe we’re doing this,” he says, dropping his head to my shoulder.
I can feel his entire body holding back his power as the muscles under his back and shoulders tense and release. We’re both shaking with unspent passion and anticipation.
“Harder,” I urge him. “I love it when you’re in me like this.”
His thrusts come faster and deeper. We’ve found our rhythm and every time we come together, he presses into my most sensitive spot and the heat builds. I’m rubbing on him, wanting more but unable to find it out here against the car.
He grabs my ass and uses it to pull me into him more. My back is digging into the car door, but I don’t care. I need more.
All of a sudden, he
pulls out. I glance around, worried we’re about to be caught, but then he grabs me by the waist and spins me.
“Turn around,” he demands. “Bend over.”
My coat gets thrust to the side and my skirt flies up, baring my cheeks to the cold, but he’s there a second later, sliding into me from behind, and I forget all about the winter weather. His hand comes around and his finger starts to massage me from the front as his hardness strokes me from the inside.
“Oh, Rob, my god…” I open my legs more and hold the door handle as he pushes into me from behind. My whole body bounces with every thrust and I start to moan with each one. I’m almost there. Almost…
“Oh, Rob. Yes, please. Oh my god…”
He leans over and whispers. “Shhhh, not too loud, baby, or I have to stop fucking you out here.”
Just hearing him say that sends me right to the edge. “You are fucking me,” I whisper back, almost like I’m crying. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop.”
“You sure?” he asks. “You sure you don’t want me to stop?”
I reach behind and grab whatever I can find, getting a fistful of his pants. I pull him to me and help him move faster. “Now. I need you now,” I say, probably too loudly.
“I’m going to come,” he says, his words given with effort.
“Me too!” I’m almost there. Jesus, it feels like I’m going to explode!
His finger slides along my sensitive spot as he starts to orgasm. His length gets bigger, thicker somehow and all of it combined is just exactly what I was hoping for, dreaming of when I saw him earlier. I knew it would be good, even out here in this stupid parking lot.
I gasp with the power of my orgasm and push against the car to steady myself as much as possible. He drops his hand and grabs my hips, slamming into me from behind. The two of us cry out in tandem and then, after almost a minute of tiny deaths, fall against the front of the car together. He slides out of me and breathes heavily in my ear.
“I can’t believe we just did that,” he says, sounding very tired.
“I can.” I turn around, letting my skirt fall into place as he picks up his pants that have fallen to his ankles. Were it not for his coat, his bare ass would be hanging out for the entire world to see. Not that there’s anyone out here to see anything, thank goodness.
He’s buckling his belt when he looks up at me again, his gaze decidedly mischievous.
“What?” I ask, wondering what he has up his sleeve next.
“You still up for the B&B?”
“Hell yeah, I’m up for it.”
He laughs and then pulls me into a hug. For a long time we just stand there holding each other. When he finally speaks, his words are more serious and muffled against my coat.
“I never knew it could be this way with you.”
“What…? Sexy?” I laugh, maybe a little embarrassed that I let him do what he just did.
He pulls back and strokes my face as he stares at me. I see so much love in his eyes it’s almost scary. “I always knew you were amazing and beautiful and funny and caring. Then when you took Cassie in, I knew what a great mom you were. And now, I know what an amazing, adventurous and fun lover you are. You’re the whole package. Why did I wait so long to find out?”
I shrug, embarrassed by his compliments and maybe a little sad to think about Cassie. I’d done a good job of keeping her out of things until now. “I guess before it wasn’t a good time.”
“I listened to your brother when he warned me away over and over again. I’m not listening to him anymore.”
“Are you sure?” I look up, all the vulnerability I have left in me showing in my expression. After so many years of hoping and dreaming and praying, it’s hard to believe this can really be true.
“I’m sure.” He leans down and kisses me, gently. Tenderly. Showing me in a way that words couldn’t, how much I mean to him.
Chapter Thirty-Six
LYING IN BED ALL DAY with Rob is my dream come true. Better than my dream come true. Not only is the sex awesome, but the conversation is blowing my mind. To think… all these years I’ve been dreaming about him, and he’s been dreaming about me too.
“I swear it’s true,” he says. “I used to invent reasons to come over to your house. I left stuff there so I could come back to get it later. I was always hoping you’d be alone and we’d be able to talk, but James always managed to be there. It was really annoying.”
“James must have known what you were doing.”
“Not at first. But then he found a picture of you I kept hidden in my wallet. Then it was all over.”
“A picture of me? What picture?”
He grins and rolls over to reach the nightstand next to him. From his wallet he pulls a tattered and faded snapshot of the three of us in The Hamptons. I’m wearing that bathing suit he mentioned before with the tassels on the sides.
“Oh my god,” I say, taking it from him, so happy to find out that my obsession was mutual. “I can’t believe it. You sly dog.” I stretch up to reach his lips and give him a sexy kiss.
“Mmm,” he says, when I pull back. “Better than I ever imagined.”
I look at him suspiciously. “Tell me you didn’t use this picture for dirty things.”
He snatches it away from me and slides it back into his wallet. “I’ll do no such thing.”
“Hey!” I roll over on top of him and trap his hands on either side of his head. My breasts hang between us, but I have zero problems with self-consciousness with him. It may have something to do with the fact that we’ve had sex about five times in the space of twenty-four hours.
“Hey what?” He strains up, trying to kiss me, but I lean away.
“How old were you in that picture?” I ask.
“I don’t know. Why?”
“I was eighteen. That means you were…”
He sighs. “Thirty.”
“Thirty? You dirty old man.”
He frowns, looking guilty, and I immediately feel bad. I lean down and kiss him, using extra tongue.
“I take it you like dirty old men?” he asks, smiling.
“I like this one.” I let go of one of his hands and sliding my fingers down his ribs so I can feel the silky hardness I feel growing under me.
His hand on my wrist stops me.
“What? You don’t want to?” I’m worried I’ve hurt his feelings calling him old. He’s only thirty-eight. I think the age difference really suits us, too. Most guys my age act like children.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I want to.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
He tries to smile, but it comes out strained. “I, uh, kind of promised your family I’d come over for spaghetti dinner.” He looks over at the clock on the bedside table. “If we leave in an hour, we can get there on time.”
I climb off him and sit on the edge of the bed, gathering the sheets around me. “We?”
He moves to sit up behind me, resting his hand on my left shoulder while kissing my right. “Yes, we. I want you to go with me.”
“I can’t.”
“Of course you can, don’t be silly.”
I grab a pillow and hug it. “It’s not being silly to be hurt over things that happened.”
“No, of course not. But at some point you have to move on. You have to do what’s best for the people you love and suck it up.”
I snort. “Since when did you become a therapist?”
“Since just now.”
“Oh yeah? Well, don’t quit your day job because you kind of suck at it.”
He sighs and then nips my shoulder with his sharp teeth.
“Hey!” I twist away and glare at him. “What was that for?”
“For being sassy.” He gives me a hard look. “Behave yourself or else.”
I laugh a little, not sure I believe what I’m hearing. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” He grabs me before I can respond and drags me over onto my side, right up over the top of him. He’s spoo
ning me from behind now, but is arm is clamped around me so I can’t move.
“You’d better cut that out,” I say, only half meaning it. My heartbeat is going like crazy and I’m getting wet between my legs at his angry alpha male tone. This is a side of Rob I’ve never seen before. The surprises just keep coming with him.
“Or what?” he says, his free hand coming around to slide into my folds. His hard length settles in behind me, pushing into me, letting me know he’s about to take charge of the situation and I’m probably really going to like it.
I try to sound natural when I respond, but it’s difficult. My hips are trembling with the effort of remaining still. “Or you’re going to be sorry,” I say at barely above a whisper.
He lifts my top leg and slides inside me from behind, pushing into me until I’m almost face down. He uses a hand around the front of me to stimulate me from that side while he slides in and out over and over. I arch my back to accommodate the movement, make it go deeper.
“I want you there with me,” he says in a dark tone, right next to my ear.
“No,” I say, pleading with him for release while at the same time denying his request.
He pushes me onto my stomach and grabs my hips, yanking them up high and exposing my backside to the cold air. His fingers stroke me softly, up and down as I arch my back to the max.
“Rob…” I plead. I need him inside me.
“You like that?” he asks, slipping a finger in.
“I need you.”
“How about this?” he asks, slipping in a second finger.
“Please,” I beg.
“Not enough for you, babe? You need more?” His thumb swirls around my nub, making me crazy. I swear, I’m pulsating with need at this point.
“Yes, dammit!” I finally submit.
“Say you’ll come and I’ll give it to you like you want it.” His fingers leave me and his hands go to my hips. He’s poised at my entrance, pushing just the tip of his length inside.
“I’ll come, I promise! I’ll come hard.”
“Yeah you will,” he says, burying himself in me inch by inch until I’m crying with passion.