After throwing on the first clothes my fingers came across in my suitcase, I slid into a pair of sandals and flew out the door. Despite the wind, it wasn’t cold, much like the storms we got in Miami. The wind was strong, but nothing compared to some of the storms I remembered from back home. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
Jogging toward the hotel, figuring I’d start searching there, I pulled out my phone and tried calling her. The call went immediately to voicemail, so either her phone was dead or turned off. I tried once more before punching in another number.
“It’s barely nine in the morning and you chugged about a pint of shitty vodka last night. What are you doing up right now?” Maggie yawned, but I knew she hadn’t been asleep. She’d always been an early riser, plus med school had gotten us accustomed to long nights and minimal sleep.
“Mind recapping last night for me? Just so I know who I have to apologize to?”
“Besides me for having to wrangle your drunk ass all the way back to that loveshack cabin on the opposite end of the hotel grounds that you thought was such a great idea?” Maggie snorted. “You need to go on a diet, because I felt like I was wrestling an elephant last night.”
As soon as I lunged into the lobby, I scanned every chair and corner in the place. Other than the employees and an older couple snoring with papers spread open in their laps, no one else was there. “Have you seen her?”
“Who?”
I continued to scan the lobby, cradling the phone on my shoulder. “Cora? Have you seen Cora?”
“I’m in a hotel on the other side of the island because that’s how much space I need from you people. What makes you think I’ve seen her?” There was a brief pause. “Wait? Does that mean she’s missing or something?”
Sticking my head into the couple of restaurants and the lounge ended in the same result—no Cora. “Jacob hasn’t seen her since last night. She’s not answering her phone.”
Instead of going to the elevators and trying her room, I went back outside. Cora wasn’t in her room—if she wanted to be alone, she wouldn’t be hiding in the most obvious place people would look for her.
“Wait. Hold up. So there was a runaway groom and now a runaway wife?” Maggie let out a whistle. “God, I can’t get this much drama even with my cable subscription.”
As I made my way along some of the walking paths winding around the resort, the ball in my throat grew. Where was she? “You haven’t seen her? Promise?”
“No,” Maggie answered immediately.
“Would you tell me if you had?”
She laughed like my question was amusing. “Yes, believe it or not, I would. You turned me Team Cora with your final story last night of why you fell head over heels for her.” She paused like she was waiting for me to catch up, but I didn’t have a damn clue what I’d said last night. With the way I was feeling and the amount of alcohol I’d consumed, I could have said just about anything. “You know, when your date to freshmen homecoming stood you up and Miss Cora went with you instead since your asshole brother was getting asshole drunk and passed out? So she went with you and you pretended to be Jacob and no one was the wiser—Jacob especially, since he spent the night in a drunken stupor in your dad’s pool house.”
My feet stopped rushing along the pavement. “I told you about that?” I sighed, reminding myself why excessive drinking was to be avoided at all costs. If not for my liver’s sake, my dignity’s. “That was a secret both of us were supposed to take to the grave.”
Maggie made a clucking sound with her tongue. “Well, when Jacob finds out about what happened between you two here, the grave’s not too far off for you, I’m guessing.”
“Funny.” I started moving again, and when I reached the end of the hotel grounds, I journeyed onto the beach. No one was lounging on the sand today. Even the beach bar from hell was boarded shut. “If you hear anything, will you let me know?”
“Like you even need to ask. And if things start getting really juicy, right before you’re all about to sit down and have that heart-to-heart, let me know so I can be there in full-body Kevlar. I wouldn’t want to miss it.”
Ignoring her request, I jogged down the beach. “How long are you here for?”
I couldn’t remember if I’d asked her how long she was staying, where she was staying, or when her flight was heading out. All I remembered was that she’d shown up for moral support after hearing through the grapevine about her friend, Matt Adams, posing as Jacob Adams at the wedding the Miami muckety-mucks would be talking about for months.
“I’m staying as long as you need me,” she said, pausing. “Which hopefully isn’t any longer than three days because I promised work I’d be back by then. They’re a little short-staffed since someone decided to go and take a week vacation for his brother’s wedding.”
I’d taken the week figuring I’d need some “alone time” after watching Cora marry Jacob, not because I’d be playing stand-in groom. It was almost like I’d planned it. Or some higher power had. “What did I do to deserve such a good friend?”
Maggie snorted. “You’re Matt Adams, you dummy. Everybody likes you. It’s a universal law of the planet or something. Stop acting so surprised that people dig you so much.” She made a clucking sound with her mouth. “Or that a certain someone might just happen to love you.”
That was a dangerous topic. Dangerous for what it meant for Jacob, Cora, and me.
“I’ll check in later with an update. Thanks again for flying in and wrangling my fat elephant ass back to the cabin last night.”
“Yeah, well, I might have groped it as a means of payment, so we’re square.”
After saying good-bye, I stuffed the phone back into my pocket and continued searching. She wasn’t on the beach. She wasn’t anywhere in or close to the hotel. Shit, this was a big island. She could have gone just about anywhere.
Just as I was about to head back toward the lobby to call for a cab, I thought of one more place to look. The same place she’d gone yesterday morning after waking up and discovering who she’d really exchanged 'I dos' with.
The trees and bushes provided a little break from the wind, and it didn’t take me long to remember the path I’d taken yesterday. I found her in the exact same spot, sitting there and staring at the ocean like she had before.
She was in the same blue dress from last night, her hair tied back in a loose braid and her makeup almost totally washed away. She’d been crying. From the dark trails streaking down her cheeks, she’d cried a lot.
My chest ached from seeing her like this, knowing she’d been sad and alone. Knowing she’d been crying and had no one close by to comfort her.
When I continued closer, coming around the side so she could see me, she didn’t flinch.
“There’s a storm coming.” I stuffed my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching out to her. I had no idea what had happened last night or how she felt this morning. I knew that last night I’d felt betrayed that she’d run to Jacob, forgetting all about me, but after my brother’s and my talk this morning, I wasn’t so sure if that’s the way things really were.
“No shit.” A single-noted laugh came from her. “I just slept with my fiancé’s brother, who I might or might not be legally married to. The storm’s already swept us up, Matt.”
My teeth bit into the inside of my cheek. “I wasn’t trying to trick you when I put that ring on your finger.”
“Then what were you trying to do?”
That was the same question I’d been asking myself, and I’d come up with a dozen different answers. “I was trying to help you.” I shifted, rubbing at the back of my head. “I figured Jacob would probably show up shit-faced or something eventually and no one but him and I would have to know what had happened. I wanted to save you the embarrassment of him not standing at your side in front of a crowd of people. Like he used to.”
“Like he used to?” she repeated, curling her feet beneath her. “What does that mean?”
I gave her a moment
to take her question back. A moment to move on to something else. When she finally turned her head to look at me, waiting for an answer, I sighed. “During the two years of high school you two were together, he never once walked with you to a class, or sat with you at lunch, or so much as glanced your way while at school.”
Her throat moved when she swallowed. “How could he? We were trying to keep it a secret from your dad.”
“He was trying to keep you a secret from more than just our dad, Cora,” I whispered, ashamed for saying it but unable to help myself. She wasn’t blind. She had to know why.
“You’re an ass.” She glared at me before looking back out at the dark, surging ocean.
“You asked for the truth from me from now on. You didn’t ask for me to be the good guy continuing to feed you lies to protect you. So which way do you want it? Because you can’t have it both ways.”
She was quiet for a minute. “Okay, so you stepped in to help Jacob and me at the wedding. I could maybe wrap my head around that if I tried really, really hard. But why in the hell did you crawl into bed with me that night? Why did you —”
“Because I’m weak,” I said, shifting again. I couldn’t get comfortable.
“Please, Matt, you’ve always been strong. One of the strongest people I’ve ever known.”
Was I? Did she really think that? “I’m weak where you’re concerned. I always have been. And that night, when you put your hands on me, I couldn’t do the right thing like I knew I should have. When I saw what you wanted from me in your eyes, I had to give it to you.”
Her arms curled around herself, a sharp exhale spilling past her lips. “You gave it to me all right. Four separate times. Almost five.”
Almost five. “Yeah, except that fifth time, you knew who I was.”
I chanced a step closer. It only made her scoot away, maintaining the distance between us. I hated watching her slide away from me—I hated myself giving her a reason to do it.
“You knew exactly who I was when you were saying my name and pushing yourself against me. So now who are you going to blame for that?”
“Shut up.” Her voice was small, almost silent.
“No, I won’t. I’ve kept my mouth shut with you too many times. No more. You’re going to hear the truth, and it’s me who’s going to tell it to you.”
“Shut. Up.” Her voice was louder, her expression lethal, but I didn’t back down.
“You picked the wrong guy to marry.”
The look she gave me right then—I’d never forget it. I guessed I’d carry it with me in my next life too, it was that loathsome. “I did not.”
My arm came out at my side. “He didn’t show up to his own fucking wedding. How can you expect him to show up for anything else in life?”
She twisted toward me, glaring up at me like she’d never hated anything more than she did me right then. “Well I guess I’ll never get a chance to know, right? Because I think when I mention the whole ‘letting his brother go down on me after he’d screwed me’ thing, our relationship isn’t going to go so well.”
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. They struck me silent. They must have had the same effect on her because both of us stayed like that for a while, not moving, barely seeming to breathe.
She was angry at me, or she hated me, or both. Why? Because of what I’d said just now? Because of what I’d done before? For some other reason I had yet to determine?
I’d done plenty of stupid things in my life that Cora had been a victim to, but she’d never acted so hurt before. All I could think of was how the ones we loved the most were capable of hurting us the most.
“I haven’t taken it off yet.” Her voice was a stark contrast to how it had sounded the last time she spoke.
I didn’t understand what she was talking about until I glanced at her lap, where she was staring at the ring on her left hand.
“I haven’t taken mine off either.”
“Why haven’t I?” Her head turned toward me. “Why haven’t you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yeah, I know you don’t.” She exhaled, smiling sadly at the ocean. “You never know, do you? With me, you’re never sure.”
My brows came together. “What does that mean?”
“It means one minute you’re saying things, doing things, that make me think you might have feelings for me. You might have more than just feelings for me, and the next, you’re at a bar with a strange woman who you stumble back to your room with. Into the same exact bed you fucked me in the night before.” She circled the ring on her finger absently, looking like she was talking to herself instead of me. “What am I supposed to take from that? How am I supposed to make sense of it?”
My mind went blank.
“Just . . . never mind. You have a right to do whatever you want to whoever you want. It’s not like you’re my boyfriend.” She started to stand, looking like she wanted to get out of here and away from me.
But I couldn’t let her go. Not now. Maybe not ever.
My brain finally caught up to what she must have been talking about. “Last night? Are you talking about the woman I was with last night?”
She was crouching on the ground, not getting up but not sitting back down. “Sorry, I suppose I should have clarified that. I’m sure it gets confusing trying to keep all of the women in your life straight. But yes, specifically, the one you were with last night.”
Another mind blank. Was she talking about me? Or someone else? “All of the women in my life? As in you and my friend Maggie, who you saw me with last night?”
Her eyes went wide like she was realizing something. “That was Maggie?”
“Yes, of course that was Maggie.”
“What’s she doing here?” she asked.
“She found out what happened. Wanted to provide moral support or be present to identify a body.”
Cora shook her head, but I didn’t miss how different she looked now compared to when I first showed up. More peaceful somehow, relieved. “So you two didn’t . . .”
She didn’t finish her sentence. She didn’t have to. Her anger at me just now was making sense. It was almost like she was . . . jealous?
“No. Absolutely not. She’s my friend. We’re friends, nothing more.” I crouched beside her, gauging her reaction at having me close. She didn’t flinch or scoot away; she almost seemed to welcome it. “Now that I’ve explained that, you need to explain why you seem to believe I have so many women in my life.”
She sat, turning slightly so she was angled toward me. The way the wind was playing with the hem of her dress was distracting me. Badly.
“Just what Jacob’s mentioned. It’s not like I know who they are or anything, but clearly plenty of women know you.”
I had to look away from her fluttering hem and the skin it was exposing.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to confirm or deny it. I know you’re not the type who kisses and tells.”
“Jacob said this, right? Told you about all of these ‘women’?” I asked.
She nodded.
“And my ladies’ man reputation has been going on for how long now?” I sure as hell wasn’t aware of it.
Cora was looking at me like I was playing a game with her. “Since high school.”
High school. The same time she and Jacob got together. The same time my womanizing ways started. Not exactly a coincidence.
“Sophomore year?” I said.
“I don’t remember exactly.” She picked up a leaf that had blown into her lap and turned it over like she was searching for something. “But yeah, it was right before Thanksgiving break our sophomore year.” When she looked up to see the look on my face, she added, “Give or take.”
My back went rigid as I put the pieces together. The same time she and Jacob got together, he started telling her I was pretty much a manwhore. Which I was nothing even remotely close to. If that title belonged to anyone, it was my brother. Why? Why had he gone so out of his way to try to
convince Cora that I was so worthless in the relationship department?
She’d mentioned he’d accused her of harboring feelings for me. What if she really had? What if she still did?
The answer should have been obvious. It should have been so clear it was blinding. I had all of the evidence to support it; why hadn’t I seen it before? I was an Ivy League-educated doctor who’d come out the top of my class—in all of them. And I was the biggest idiot to have ever walked the earth.
“There aren’t any other women, Cora.” My hand reached for hers still turning over the leaf. “There never have been any other women.”
Wasn’t it obvious? Hadn’t it always been? There’d only ever been you.
“Really?” Her fingers wove through mine, turning over in my hand.
I covered her hand with my other hand. “Really.”
A smile started to form on her face. “I didn’t really think so. You didn’t seem like the type.”
“Then what type do you think I am?”
Her fingers brushed across the band on my finger. “The committed type.”
My smile matched hers, careful and unsure. She had no idea just how committed I was. How devoted I’d been to her when she’d never been mine to begin with.
“I need to tell you something.” I lowered my head so it was aligned with hers. “I’ve needed to tell you something for a long time, and I know this might not seem like the right time with everything going on, but this might be the only time I’m stupid enough to say it.”
The breath she’d been taking cut short. “This might be the only time I’m stupid enough to tell you something too.”
A gust of wind powered over us, but I didn’t think either of us really even noticed it.
“Ladies first?”
Her head whipped side to side, her smile still holding. “Definitely not in this case.”
I’d been waiting for this moment for what felt like my whole life, never thinking it would actually happen, but here I was, about to say it out loud. I wasn’t even nervous. Probably because it was the most real thing I’d ever known.
Something over my shoulder caught her eye, and her face changed instantly. I knew who it was before she said a thing.