I head home, glad I don’t have to spend another night in a hotel. Randy’s Liquors is right down the street from my house. I grab a six-pack. Randy never cards me and never refuses to sell to me. One of the perks of being me.
I punch the tab on my beer can back and lie down on the couch in our living room, trying to calm the fuck down.
“Eh!” My mother is standing behind the couch, “what are you doing here?”
“Dad called the cleaner in, so I’m done for the day.”
“Johnny Nero’s funeral is tomorrow. You goin’?”
“Yeah, then I have some stuff to do for Dad.”
Mom doesn’t say anything else. She just walks away. If I sit and really think about things, everything seems so fucked up. I’m going to the funeral of a guy who I beat up and that my father had killed. I need to do what my dad always says, Don’t think, just do.
Megan gets out of school in a half an hour. I find myself off the couch and sitting in front of the school waiting for her. Finally, I’m calming down. I spot her walking out the door with Raven and Erin. Louie is next to Raven, talking to her. Erin sees me first because she points to my car and shakes Megan’s arm. Megan’s entire face lights up and a smile plays across her lips when she sees me. My chest stirs with contentment.
She walks toward me, and I lean against my car, watching her beauty. It’s like my vision is a tunnel. All the shapes around her are blurred—her face is the only thing I see clearly. As soon as she is within arm’s reach, I lean out and pull her to me. I wrap my arms around her then lean down and kiss her. She eagerly wraps her hands around me too. My anger fades as I hold her. She is so calming. All I need in life is this girl.
“What are you doing here?” I loosen my hold, but I don’t let go.
“I finished early. I thought I could take you home.”
Megan turns to her sister. “You coming with us?”
“No, I’m going to Connor’s tonight.”
Megan’s face has a hard-to-read expression—a little sad maybe. I don’t know what to think. I can take her sister too; I don’t mind. Raven and Louie are in their own world. They say their goodbyes and walk toward Louie’s car.
A minivan rolls to stop in front of my car. A kid gets out.
“Connor!” Erin squeals and walks right up to him.
The window of the van opens and a woman, definitely not Italian, calls Megan over. Possessiveness overtakes me, and I walk to the van with her, never letting go of her hand. The lady in the van just looks me up and down, sizing me up.
“Hi, Mrs. O’Connell,” Megan is congenial.
“Hi, Megan,” the lady returns with a curt tone. “Tell your mom that I’ll be dropping Erin back at your house about seven.”
“Okay,” Megan replies a little too brightly.
“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” Mrs. O’Connell drags the question out like the words hurt. My eyes automatically narrow.
I gently reach my hand through the open window and say with a polite smile, “Hi, I’m Antonio… her boyfriend.”
Mrs. O’Connell sucks in a breath through her teeth and plasters on a fake sharp smile. “Nice to meet you.” Only an idiot would believe she means it. Medigans all look at me the same way—with disgust.
I see Vito out of the corner of my eye taking in the whole scene. Megan and I back away from the van as Erin and the kid get in. Vito is still staring, but he isn’t looking at me or Megan. He watches the van door close.
Megan and I decide to go to the dock and hang out. Well, I convinced her that that’s what we should do since we don’t have to take her sister home and since it’s a gorgeous day. We haven’t been there since the night of Alessandra’s party. The sunlight on Megan’s hair makes it glow different shades of red. I brush my hands along the back of her neck. Soft curls and tender skin meet my touch. I want to stand there, touching her, kissing her, for the rest of the day and night.
There is something about her. Something that I can’t explain. Being with her is like having a blanket of sweetness and warmth thrown over me.
Megan breaks away from our kiss. “I have to ask you something, but I don’t think you’ll tell me.”
“What?” I ask, concerned.
“What happened last night? Why weren’t you in school?...” She pauses. “Where did you go?”
I sigh long and hard. This girl makes me want to spill my soul and loyalty onto the ground. I don’t want to keep anything from her.
“Ugh... Megan, there’s just stuff that happens that I can’t tell you. And you probably really don’t want to know anyway.” I pause, collecting myself. “What I can tell you is that last night the restaurant I was at was shot up.” Her face morphs into fear. I caress her cheeks in my hands. “Look at me—I’m fine! And as for when I’m not in school? I’m doing stuff for my dad. That’s it.”
I see her breathe in to say something, so I jump in with, “No, I can’t tell you what.” I smile at her, then give her a peck on the lips.
My brain registers that it’s back. Her fear. She’s afraid of me again. Fucking Maria! Megan wouldn’t even have known about last night if it wasn’t for her.
“Maria...” Megan starts.
“Stop right there. Don’t listen to Maria. She’s a slut who can’t keep her mouth shut.” My voice comes out harsh and mean. Megan takes a step away from me. I see her eyes fill with tears, and I immediately feel sick to my stomach.
“Whoa, come ’ere,” I say softly, reaching for her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean upset you.”
Reluctantly, she comes back to me, and I hug her. I take a deep breath in, relishing her scent and closeness. It’s like a dream. After all these years, I’m finally holding her in my arms.
Chapter 14
Agita (ah gi ta): upset stomach
Megan
As I put my shoes on, excited and nervous on the sunny Saturday morning of my surprise, I think back to my last encounter with Antonio. I knew Antonio was intense, but I didn’t imagine I would find myself on this quiet rollercoaster. There’s a lot more to him than I ever could have imagined—and though I want to get to know him, there may be some sides I’m not ready to see yet.
I shake off the thoughts and try to look ahead. Antonio said he’d be here early. I nervously check my bedside alarm clock. Downstairs, my mother is on the phone.
“I know, I know... He’s got the devil in him, that one.” (pause) “Yeah, unbelievable.” (pause) “Well, I just hope he can keep our Megan safe while this lasts.” I creep closer to where she is. I’m hanging on every word. “It’s not going to last. Her father and I are counting on that. Give it a couple of weeks, and he’ll move on to the next girl.” (pause) “If that happens, then we’ll just send her to visit Troy. She needs a little perspective.”
I don’t have time to seethe with the anger, but I can’t help but let it grow in me as I listen to my mother talk about Antonio dumping me. Soon, there is a knock on the door.
My whole family turns up by the front door in a matter of seconds. Erin is grinning from ear to ear. I swing open the door to see a smiling Antonio, dark in all his smoldering beauty. He is just gorgeous. Light musky cologne wafts my way, and I close my eyes for a second.
I open them when I hear Erin oooohing and ahhhing. I follow her gaze to the street, and there is a limousine. A long black stretch limousine with a driver waiting patiently with his hands folded behind the wheel.
“You ready?” Antonio asks me.
My parents’ expressions are of disapproval. “Where are you off to?” my father asks Antonio.
“New York for the day. We’ll be back this evening.”
Erin did her trademark squeal. “New York!” I am beaming. New York in a limo—Holy shit! I snatch my pocketbook off the couch. My mother blocks my steps toward the door.
“Do you have your cell phone?”
“Yes,” I tell her.
“Have a nice day,” my mom calls out, but after her conversation w
ith whomever she was gossiping with, I don’t believe her. I kiss my father good-bye, and he looks down at me warily.
I slip into the limo as the driver holds the door open for me. Antonio slides in behind me. I’m giddy as Antonio buckles in beside me.
“I can’t believe you did this.”
“So, you’re surprised?”
“I’ll say.”
“There’s another surprise. I’ve had it for a while. I was waiting for the right time to give it to you, but I can’t wait anymore.”
Antonio retrieves a small box from a compartment in his door. He hands it to me. My hands are shaking.
I tug the bow off and stick it on his head, and he laughs as he pulls it off.
“I hope you like it.”
With my hands shaking, I open the box to find a striking Claddaugh necklace. I’m in awe.
“It’s white gold. The clerk said it means love, friendship, and loyalty.”
I shake my head, agreeing with him excitedly. “Yeah, I know—I can’t believe you found this!” I say as I stare at it. “It’s beautiful. Thank you so much.” I lean in and kiss him. Then I lift my hair and swivel so that he can put the necklace on me. I immediately feel his breath on my neck. Then his lips are moving over my skin. I shudder because it feels amazing. He feels amazing. He moves away and his voice is husky, “It’s on. Lemme see.”
When I face him again, his eyes are lustful and searching mine. He looks at the necklace and smiles. “Now it’s beautiful,” he says, and I can’t resist kissing him again.
We stop and get breakfast at a little diner off the highway. Everyone in the restaurant stares at us as we walk in. I’m guessing they saw us get out of the limo. I giggle.
“What’s so funny?” Antonio asks me as we stand at the front, holding hands, waiting to be seated.
“Nothing.”
He gives me a look that says, yeah right.
“I was just thinking that all these people probably thought someone famous was coming to eat here because of the limo. And I just want to yell out to them”—I pretend to yell and cup my hand over my mouth—“nothing to see here, just the mob boss’s son from New Jersey out for breakfast.”
“Wow,” he says, deadpan. “No one has ever called me that to my face.”
I laugh again. “What are you going to do, Mr. Delisi, tie me up and throw me in the river?”
“I wouldn’t throw you in the river, but tying you up has been on my mind before.” His face is serious, and he squeezes my hand to jerk me closer. The waitress interrupts us and yanks us out of our reverie.
We order eggs, bacon, and toast. I’m still reeling at what Antonio said. A blush creeps up my face by just replaying the words in my mind. He has an unbelievable ability to make me want and fear him at the same time. I am so out of my league. I’ve never had a steady boyfriend. In fact, these feelings of passion and lust are new to me. But regardless of how confusing and new this is, I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else.
We arrive in New York City and Antonio takes me to the Empire State Building. We have lunch at the Ritz. Everywhere we go Antonio pays with one-hundred-dollar bills. It makes me uncomfortable. I’m starting to question where he gets all this money from—the limo, the necklace, the two-hundred-dollar lunch. Do his parents just give it to him? I try not to let my thoughts sour this awesome day.
My phone buzzes with a text message.
Troy: Enjoying your day in NY? Did he get in ur pants yet?
I don’t respond. I’m too mad. So this is how it’s going to be between us. I shove my phone back in my pocket. I refuse to let Troy ruin this perfect day.
Antonio takes my hand and tells the driver to meet us at Central Park. We walk slowly, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. We pass shop after shop, window after window of everything from clothes to tools. The streets aren’t too busy because it’s a Saturday.
Every couple of blocks, Antonio tugs on my hand and we stand close to the buildings away from the foot traffic. And every time, he scrunches his hand in my hair and kisses me. The first few times, they’re sweet and slow kisses. The closer to Central Park we get, the more heated and wanting they become. The more heated the kisses become, the more dazed and drugged I feel.
At the entrance to Central Park, a man with a weathered cardboard sign sits huddled on the ground. His clothes are tattered and dirty with what seems like years of filth.
Antonio’s pace slows as we get closer to the gates of the park. He releases my hand. We stand a few feet from the man who appears homeless. Antonio reaches into his left front pocket and takes out a crumpled hundred-dollar bill. Less than two weeks ago, I was afraid of Antonio. Now I think he’s the sweetest guy I know. He hands it to the guy, picks up my hand again, and leads me into the park.
*****
Antonio
I know that the text she got is from her “friend” Troy, the chooch that Alessandra thinks is so wonderful. But I’m not going to let it bother me because she’s here with me—all bouncing red curls, luscious lips, and smiles.
The park is crowded. People on roller blades, bicycles, and wearing fancy jogging suits litter one of the only slices of green grass in New York City.
We walk for a little while. The sun makes shadows on the sidewalk through the tree limbs.
“So,” I ask her, “are you looking forward to college next year?”
“Yeah, I’m glad I got into my first choice. What are you planning to do next year?” she asks, squeezing my hand.
“Don’t know yet. I’ve been busy,” I say, not wanting to meet her gaze.
“You must want to go somewhere?”
I get a sickening feeling when I think of her going off to college without me. My question was meant to be light and conversational, but now I’m sorry I brought up her going away.
We approach a large group of people standing huddled together in a circle. Loud music begins to ring out. A bunch of guys start dancing. Megan obviously wants to watch because she leads me over to the crowd.
“Wow, they’re good.” I position her in front of me and rest my hands across her middle while we watch the show. It’s awesome just to hold her.
When the show is over, the driver picks us up at the entrance and we drive down the congested streets.
It’s getting late. I need to bring back something for my mom. I spot a Godiva chocolate store on 40th Street. The driver steers the limo to the curb.
“I’m gonna grab something for my mom. You want anything?”
“No, I’m all set.” She smiles at me. I notice her playing with the necklace I gave her, and it makes me grin.
“Wait here. I’ll be right back.” The smell of melted chocolate drifts over me like a warm blanket. I walk around looking for Mom’s favorite. I pick a large box of them. I should get something for Megan’s mom too. Then I second guess myself and get another large box of assorted chocolates for her sister. Then I grab one for Megan too.
I stand at the register as the clerk rings everything up when my phone buzzes with a text from Vito.
Vito: Ronnie’s been jumped. your pop is calling a meeting tonight. what time will u be back?
Shit! Figures.
“That’ll be a hundred ninety-five dollars, please.” The cashier jars me from my thoughts of having to rush back home. I snatch a couple of hundreds from my pocket and hand them over while texting Vito.
Antonio: 7:30 if no traffic
I take the huge bag off the counter and get back in the limo.
“Did you buy out the whole store?” she says, giggling at me. Megan holds the bag under her nose. “Wow, it smells awesome! Did you mug Willy Wonka or something?” My anxiety melts away at her teasing. I lean over and kiss her. She laughs again. “YOU even smell like chocolate.” She rubs her nose over my neck and hair like a cat. I hit the button for the privacy screen between us and the driver while I pin her beneath me.
The magic that is Megan ensnares me. For the next two hours we kiss, talk,
and laugh. She’s the most amazing person. I can’t imagine how I lived for so long having her just at arm’s reach. I don’t know how I’m going to let her go when it’s time to drop her off at home. I want to tell the driver to head for Canada. My stalker is back! And I tell her that.
With my face nuzzling her neck and my hand cupping her hip I say, “I don’t want to let you go. I want you all to myself.”
“What are you gonna do, kidnap me?” she jokes.
She stiffens under me. “I have resources, you know.”
“I bet you do.” The joking tone was gone.
I look up at her. “Don’t be afraid of me... I can see it in your eyes sometimes.”
Megan straightens, forcing me to sit up. “Well, I am afraid.” She won’t look at me.
I tip her chin upward, forcing her back to me. Tears well up in her eyes again. “No, honey, don’t cry.” I feel sick to my stomach. “I know I get angry at times, but I won’t hurt you.” My own words stun me. I can’t recall ever calling someone honey in my life.
Her eyes still glistening, tears threatening to fall. “That’s not why I’m scared.”
“What is it then?”
She is really killing me with those tears. When girls I don’t even like cry, it bothers me. It’s torture watching her try to stop her tears from falling.
“Ugh, I don’t even think I could explain it all.”
“All!” I choke. “All’s not good.”
She waits. “You’re gonna hurt me when you get tired of me.” It seems like it took a lot for her to admit that.
“Tired of you!” My voice goes up. “I just told you I didn’t want to let you go.”
“Yeah, well, guys like you can be very charming.”
“I just threatened to kidnap you! That’s charming?!” That makes her laugh. “I’m afraid too, Megan.” And I am.
“Huh? What can the great Antonio Delisi be afraid of?” I could feel the bite of her sarcasm.
“If this is confession time, here it is. I am so see-through about my feelings for you that even my grandmother knew. Alessandra told me to stop moping around and do something about it. I never even told San how I felt about you. She said she had always known from when we were kids. San really likes you.”