Trinity’s mouth curls into a smirk. “Heidi’s.”
“Fucking bullshit, Heidi. Aren’t you like eight?”
“Eighteen, Uncle Wrath.”
“Too young. Where’s Axel? I want to kick his ass for making me feel old.”
My hand flies up, covering my mouth while I laugh. Wrath never seems to age. At least not to me.
Trinity slips right back into wedding planning mode “I just remembered. We still have a lot of mason jars left over from Hope’s wedding. Although, it’s winter, we should do something like hot cocoa in pretty mugs or something.”
“Good idea, since the bride isn’t even old enough to drink,” Wrath says, throwing a smirk my way.
I roll my eyes.
Wrath listens to Trinity rattle off a bunch of wedding details with a smile on his face. Like every word out of her mouth matters, no matter how trivial. It’s a side of him I’ve never seen. When she finishes, he glances at me. “How many guests, Heidi?”
I know his job is security for the club, so he’s not asking because he wants to pull up a chair and write out wedding invitations with us.
“Uh, just the club. You know, whoever wants to come. They don’t have to, obviously. And four of our friends.”
His puzzled expression reminds me of how crappy this whole situation is. “What about Axel’s family?”
“They’re, uh, not coming.”
Puzzled morphs into pissed pretty quick. “What do you mean not coming?”
“They think it’s a mistake for us to get married. They’re uh, well, they’re not fond of me, so—”
“Fuck them. None of us are thrilled about it either, but we’ll sure as fuck be there.”
I’m not really sure what to do with that.
“You’re mad at me, too?” I ask, sounding unbelievably pitiful.
“No. Heidi-girl. Just worried about you. I don’t want to have to kill Axel if he does anything to upset you.”
“Ah, there’s the Wrath I know and love,” I tease to lighten things up.
“Murder’s always on his mind,” Trinity says and he laughs with her.
I love this crazy family. I’d rather spend a hundred years right here in this clubhouse than ten seconds with Axel’s stuck-up parents.
All of this has me so emotional, I tear up. Crap. Everything makes me want to cry lately. If I keep it up, someone’s going to figure out I’m pregnant.
“You okay, Heidi?” Trinity asks after Wrath leaves.
“I’m good.”
“Good, because we have a long night at the craft store ahead of us.”
I laugh so hard, I tip sideways in my chair, making Trinity laugh with me.
“Can’t wait.”
Turns out, 2,500 miles isn’t enough to get Heidi out of my head. Fuck, instead of taking off to the other end of the country, should I have stayed and tried to talk her out of marrying him?
Normally, being on the road calms me and I can find some sort of inner peace. The road noise lulls me into a quiet state. But not this time.
She’s eight-fucking-teen. What the fuck is she thinking marrying that asshole?
Not even the low seventies weather cheers me up. The whole time I was home, I couldn’t wait to get away. Now, I’m in Arizona, visiting a club we’re on good terms with. Their clubhouse is loaded with hot, half-naked chicks, and I just want to go home. Girls aside, things are pretty calm tonight. Either I’m getting older or the Bulls have settled down. This clubhouse isn’t nearly as wild as I remember.
Just as I have that thought, the club’s president, Romeo, joins us. He waves a hand at the open room. “See anything you like?”
I couldn’t care less, but I don’t want to insult the guy in his own clubhouse, either. “Too many.”
He chuckles then gets down to the real reason he stopped by our table. “I gotta give you guys props. This grow-op shit ain’t easy. Or cheap.”
“Nope.” Sparky makes it look easy, but he also lives in the basement taking care of our plants twenty-four-seven. The bits of the process that I do help out with may not be as complicated as the growing part, but they’re still pretty detailed.
“Rebel’s been draining us dry setting up our grow house.”
“Lot of upfront costs. It should even out.”
“You guys must think it’s worth it though?”
My shoulders lift. “We do all right.”
He signals one of the girls, Sadie I think, over with a bottle of Jameson and a few glasses. Dex smirks at me when I take the bottle but send Sadie away.
Romeo claps me on the back. “I’ll catch you tomorrow.” He nods at Dex before taking off for the night.
Dex shrugs. “Luck says Romeo’s all wifed up now.”
Christ, even degenerate pricks like Romeo are settling down? I lower my head and bang it on the table a few times, making Dex laugh. I just want to go home.
That need intensifies when Teller sends me a text with the wedding date.
This is really happening?
Dex and I kill one bottle, and another one lands on our table. “You gotta tell her,” Dex says. We’re both pretty wasted, so I hope to hell he forgets this conversation tomorrow. Thank God Z’s nowhere to be found. Drunk or not, he’d remember every word and torture me later.
As if he knew my attention wandered, Dex slaps his hand down on the table. “Go home and tell her. Don’t let her marry that douche without telling her how you feel.”
“I have told her. She thinks I’m a filthy manwhore who can’t keep his dick in his pants.”
“Well, if the rubber fits—”
“Fuck you. Wait, you don’t like him? I mean I know why I don’t like him. What’s your issue?”
Dex shrugs and finishes his beer. “I dunno. Kid always had a bit of attitude. Seemed to think he was better than all us filthy bikers.”
“You think you’re better than all us filthy bikers.”
“No. I think you’re all whores flirting with dick rot, but I don’t think I’m any better than you.”
“Uh, it kind of sounds like you do, brother.”
He thinks that’s hysterical and sets his head down on the table, shaking with laughter. After a few minutes, he picks his head up. “It’s not just that. He had attitude down at CB, too.”
“Really? Maybe that had more to do with Heidi giving him shit about hanging out there.” Fuck, am I really defending the asshole marrying my girl? I must be drunk.
“Nah. Maybe. I don’t know. He’d stand around like he had a stick up his ass. Take Wrath, he hates hanging out there more than any of us, but he still walks the girls to their cars and makes sure no one bothers them.”
“Axel’s a kid.”
“I dunno. Manners are manners. If you don’t know by his age that you should walk a lady to her car at two in the morning, you’re already a failure in my book.”
Dex’s words burn a hole in my brain the whole four days it takes us to ride home. It makes me wonder if Axel treats Heidi right. I’ve had my suspicions but I’m not exactly a reliable judge of the kid’s character.
Axel joined us once for wedding planning stuff, then opted out of any future meetings. That’s fine. Trinity doesn’t need any assistance.
Not even mine.
If I had a mother, I suppose we’d go dress shopping together. I don’t have a chance to feel sorry for myself over it, though. Hope takes me back to the dress shop where she bought her wedding dress and our bridesmaid dresses.
“Do you think I’m allowed to wear white?” I ask, pointing at my stomach.
She giggle-snorts. Not in a mean way, in a fun aunt way. “Heidi, that’s such an old, outdated tradition. Wear whatever color you want.”
“Well, I know you didn’t wear white. But you’d been married before.”
“And I hated the white dress my mother forced me to get the first time. But really, honey, if you want white, get white. If you don’t, don’t. This white dress thing is a recent thing. You know in Easter
n cultures, dresses are red. I think blue is popular in Ireland. But it depends what you want.”
“Ooh, red would be pretty.”
“Come on. Let’s find a dress.”
I stop her on the way into the shop. “Thank you for doing this…for everything, Hope.”
She pulls me in for a quick hug. “No problem.”
“I…I mean it. You realize this is the third time you’ve taken me dress shopping?”
Laughter spills out of her. “I must love you.”
She’s teasing, but my throat tightens. “Well,” I say, forcing the words past the lump in my throat. “I just want you to know it means a lot to me.”
I think I embarrassed her because she flashes a nervous smile and tugs me into the dress shop. But I’m glad I got the words out.
For all my bravery of doing something different, I end up picking out a white dress. In the interest of being unique, the dress I choose has a skirt made up of layers of fluffy tulle and the bottom is embroidered with red and orange flowers.
“Orange is Axel’s favorite color. I think he’ll love the dress,” I gush to Hope on our way home. Because of the way the dress and skirt fall, even if I’m showing by the time of the wedding, you won’t be able to tell.
That was an important detail to me.
I end up leaving the dress in Rock and Hope’s old room. “We can have you get ready up here, and then you can walk down the stairs. Oh, that will be perfect,” Trinity says after she checks out the dress. She whips out her notebook and takes some more notes. “We need more ribbon,” she says. Whether it’s to me or Hope, I’m not sure. Hope shrugs and we all head back downstairs. My gaze strays to Murphy’s door, wondering if he’s home yet. My brother’s useless as far as getting information. And I’m too embarrassed to ask Hope.
No matter how much I smile and pretend to be excited about the wedding, I can’t stop thinking about the pain and anger in Murphy’s eyes the night of our announcement. We’ve never gone this long without speaking. This should be a happy time, but there’s a huge hole in my world and I don’t know how to patch it up.
Downstairs, Sparky’s hanging out in the living room with Wrath and my brother. Sparky gives me a big hug. “Are you excited?”
“Sure.”
“Don’t feel bad about Murphy. After your bomb, he needed to get out of here, but he’s doing something good for the club, so it’s okay.”
“What?”
“Sparky,” my brother warns.
“What?”
Wrath doesn’t do subtle warnings. “Shut it, Sparky.”
He huffs and heads back downstairs.
“Seriously, what was he talking about?”
“What do you think, Heidi?” Wrath asks. “You know how he feels about you.”
“Wyatt—” Trinity says.
“Oh, was it a secret?” he asks with wide eyes.
“Stop picking on me, Uncle Wrath.”
He stands and kisses the top of my head. “I’m not. I swear. Murphy’s a big boy. He’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure he found someone to ease his suffering,” my brother mutters.
Hope sort of gasps. I’m not sure if it’s because she’s upset with my brother or shocked about Murphy.
Wrath gives him the side-eye. “Really, bro?”
“What? Heidi’s an adult now, or so I hear. Getting married. Why shield her from the truth?”
Tears prick my eyes. “Shut up, Marcel.”
But he doesn’t. He sits up and drills me with a big brother look that borders on nasty. “You’re marrying Axel. Why do you care if Blake nails every skank from here to Arizona?”
“Teller, that’s enough,” Hope says.
He turns his glare at Hope and opens his mouth.
“Think it through, bro,” Wrath warns in a low voice.
Hope stares right back at my brother and raises an eyebrow.
“What’s going on?” Rock calls from the front door. He runs his gaze over the scene in front of him and narrows his eyes.
“My brother’s being a jerk, that’s all.”
Wrath snorts.
“Tell me something new, Heidi-girl,” Rock says with a smile. He gives me a quick hug then slaps my brother on the back. “What’s up, knucklehead?”
“Nothing.”
Rock looks to Hope who shakes her head and puts her arm around my shoulder. “Come on, I’ll walk you out, honey.”
“Thank you.”
As soon as the door shuts behind us, the guys’ voices can be heard raising in volume.
“What’s gotten into my brother?” I ask.
“I don’t think he’s handling the wedding well, Heidi. You’re young. He loves you and wants what’s best for you.”
“Great, wait until I tell him about the baby,” I mutter.
“Maybe we’ll just call him from the hospital,” she teases.
She gives me a warm hug before I slide into my car. Why couldn’t I have gotten someone like her for my mother? All this wedding stuff has me wondering about my mother a lot lately. Even if I wanted to invite her, I can’t because I have no idea where she lives.
Or even if she’s alive or dead.
We’re treated to a regular clubhouse welcome when we return. Sparky dances around the parking lot, thrilled with his new baby plants. He and Stash inspect all twelve plants and carry them downstairs.
“Won’t see them for another month,” Rock jokes. He slaps me on the back. “Glad you’re home safe, brother. Feelin’ any better?” he asks low enough that only I hear him.
“Not really. Is it still happening?” I don’t have to be more specific. He knows what it I’m referring to.
“’Fraid so.”
“Fuck,” I grumble.
He nods at the house. “Trin’s turned our living room into half a wedding chapel, so…”
“Fuck me, really?”
“You can come stay at our place—”
I crack a smile. “I’ll be fine, prez. I’m not that big a pussy.”
He slaps my back again. “Never said you were.”
After so much time on my ass, I need a shower and a long workout. I make a quick stop at my room to drop off my stuff and change, then head downstairs to the gym. It’s empty, thank fuck, because I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone.
My luck runs out about halfway into my workout. Trinity’s door across the hall opens. She smiles and waves when she sees me.
“Hey, I heard you were back. How’d it go?”
“I’m alive. Out of shape, but alive.”
She ducks her head and laughs.
“Whatcha up to, Trin?”
The smile fades from her face, and she clutches the folder in her arms tight to her chest. “Nothing.”
I roll my eyes. “You can tell me if it’s wedding stuff, I won’t fall apart.”
“I know you won’t.”
“How’s it going? The wedding stuff, I mean.”
“Fine. Hope took her to get a dress earlier.”
“That’s nice.” I mean it. I imagine planning a wedding has Heidi missing her mother something awful. I’m glad Hope’s there for her. I’d be happier if Hope were helping Heidi plan our wedding. But whatever.
Trinity glances over her shoulder and then back at me. “Her brother said some mean shit to her earlier.”
“She was here? Today?”
“Yeah, she just left a little while ago.”
“Oh,” I answer, trying to sound uninterested and failing. “What’s Teller’s issue?”
“Sparky implied you took off because you were upset about the wedding.”
“Thanks a lot, Sparky,” I mutter. “And?”
“Teller made a comment about you finding plenty of comfort in your travels.” The way Trinity phrases it is a lot nicer than what Marcel actually said, I’m sure. “What’d he say, I was nailing chicks across the country?”
“Pretty much.”
“Nice.”
“I don’t think he’s
handling the wedding well.”
“Yeah, well he doesn’t need to throw me under the bus.”
Actually, the more I think about it, the angrier I get.
I shut down the treadmill and pat Trin’s shoulder. “He upstairs?”
“I think so.”
I take off to confront my best friend but get stopped by Rock before I hit the stairs. “Hey, Sway and a few of his guys are headed up here tonight. Will you be around?”
For Rock, I’ll set my plans to kick Teller’s ass aside. “Yeah, sure. Why, what’s up?”
“Nothin’, just want as many of my guys here as possible.”
“You worried he’s gonna bother Hope?”
“Or say something stupid to Trinity that gets him shot.”
I chuckle at that, and Rock’s stony glare intensifies. I drop the smile. “I’ll be here, prez. Whatever you need. He say why he’s coming up?”
He rolls his eyes. “A business deal to discuss. Fuck only knows what.”
“Guns probably.” That’s the only “business” our downstate charter’s involved with that I know of.
“I’m gettin’ tired of answering the same question.” A growly sound of irritation punctuates his frustration.
“I hear you.”
“I need to have a word with him, so send me a text as soon as you see him?”
“You got it.” I have a feeling the word he wants to have with Sway involves his fist and Sway’s jaw for disrespecting Hope over the summer.
Later that night, as I predicted, Sway has a fresh bruise forming on the left side of his face. Whatever happened between them is done. Brothers don’t hold grudges. We beat the snot out of each other and move on.
It’s a good system.
I’m sitting next to Rock. Hope’s curled up in his lap and Sway’s next to me.
It’s not guns Sway wants to discuss. It’s porn.
I’m facing Sway when he brings it up, so I can’t see Rock’s face. I don’t have to see him to know he’s rolling his eyes, though.
“Why are you getting involved in that?” Rock asks.
“Why else? Money. Trying to move the club in a more legit direction like you did.”
I don’t buy that for a second and I doubt Rock does either. “I thought all the good porn studios were in Florida or California?” I ask, sitting back and trying to keep the disbelief off my face.