My shoulder still burns from the Tiger Balm, and I replay the few brief seconds with my shirt off while Blake tended to me, our kiss, our second kiss after he tenderly wiped my face clean. I’m not sharing any of those moments with my brother, though.
“Heidi, you know you’re the most important person in the world to me, right? Everything I’ve done. Everything I do. It’s to make sure you end up okay. You know that, right?”
His words drive splinters of guilt through my chest. “Yes.”
He sighs and reaches over to squeeze my hand. “How much do you remember about living with mom?”
“I don’t know. Not much. I remember hanging out at the club with you guys more.”
“She left us alone a lot.”
“I know.” I’m tempted to tell him to get to the point, but I’m also curious about where he’s going with this.
“You remember any of the guys she used to bring home?”
If I think really hard, I do. Sort of. “I remember you sleeping in my room when she had guys over. You used to sleep in front of the door.”
I’m watching him closely, so I notice the way his mouth twists down right away. “Yeah.” His hands squeeze the steering wheel. “You were so little. And trusting. And sweet.”
“Are you trying to say I’m a big, suspicious, bitter teenager now?”
He huffs out a laugh and glances over at me. “And so fucking smart.”
“Smart ass you mean.”
“Sometimes.”
“Not that I don’t enjoy strolling down crappy childhood memory lane, but do you have a point?”
“What did we always say when we were younger? Whatever Mom did—”
“We’d do the opposite when we were adults.”
“You still happy with Axel?”
Confused and suspicious of the change in conversation, I take a second to answer. “Yes, why?” A shiver of excitement races over me. “Why? You think the club’s going to vote him in soon?”
“Heidi, you know I can’t talk to you about that stuff.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I grumble and cross my arms over my chest.
He chuckles then turns serious again. “If you’re with Axel, be with him. But stop messing with Blake.”
The familiar tingle of my blood boiling starts up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what I said. He’s too old for you.”
“I’m not messing with him.” If anything, Blake keeps messing with my head. My heart. But I won’t rat him out to my brother and cause problems between them. I love both of them too much.
He’s silent for the next few miles and his words replay in my head. “Are you trying to say I’m like Mom?”
“No. Fuck no. You’re nothing like her. I just don’t want you making her mistakes.”
“What would those be?”
“Heidi—”
“Axel’s my only boyfriend.”
“Good. I know you and Blake are friends, too. Just, be careful.”
“Why? He wouldn’t hurt me.”
“You’re not a two-guy type of girl, Heidi.”
“How do you know?”
He takes his eyes off the road for a second to glare at me. “I know you.”
“You’re saying that because I’m your sister.”
“How would you feel if you knew Axel had girls on the side?”
An uneasy prickle slides through my stomach at the thought. Axel spends a lot of hours at the club. Marcel knows my boyfriend in a whole different way than I do. “You haven’t seen him…he doesn’t mess around with other girls, does he?”
He chuckles because I fell for the bait. “Have I ever kicked his ass?”
I snort and shake my head.
“I won’t tolerate anyone disrespecting my sister. Club or not.”
A tight smile forms at the corners of my mouth, but I don’t say anything right away.
“Marcel?”
“Yeah?”
“Have you ever considered those girls you mess with? Club girls. Maybe they’re someone’s little sister?”
“No.”
“Maybe they’ve got big brothers warning them away from guys like you?”
His jaw tightens. “You’re too smart for your own good.”
My phone buzzes, interrupting our fun conversation. I pull it out and find a text from Axel.
Where you at?
With my brother.
“Who is it?”
“Axel.”
“Tell him you’re having family night.”
I chuckle as I tap out the message.
“You need to drive me to school tomorrow. I left my car there.”
“Okay.”
I sit back and watch the highway rush by. Not for the first time, it occurs to me what a long drive this is for my brother. A huge inconvenience when I know he’d rather be hanging out at the clubhouse. Yet, he did it—rented an apartment near my grandmother’s house—so he could share custody with her. So he could see me and not interrupt my last year of high school.
“Marcel, you can get rid of this apartment now. Grams is gone. I’m done with high school. There’s no reason to still live out here.”
“We can rent a place closer to Hudson Valley if you want.”
Actually, Axel and I have been talking about getting our own apartment. But I’m not ready to tell my brother this yet.
“I can get my own place.”
He glances over at me. “How you plannin’ to afford that?”
“I don’t know. I’ll get a job.”
“You worry about finishing school. Doing your internship. I’ll worry about the rent.”
“You’re going to have to let me be an adult sometime.”
“I will. When I’m ready.”
I huff out a laugh.
My big brother will never be ready for me to grow up.
As promised, Marcel drops me off at school the next morning.
Axel’s leaning up against my car with a bunch of flowers in one hand.
“Can’t he go one night without seeing you?” Marcel snorts.
It takes a second to force any words past the lump of guilt in my throat. “Stop. Don’t tease him.”
“I’m not.” My hand’s on the door about to open it when Marcel stops me. “Just slow down a little. You’re so young to be tied down.”
“Aren’t you the one who told me to pick a lane last night? Now, you’re what? Telling me to take the back country roads?”
He laughs and stares out the windshield. “Something like that.”
“You know I won’t be a virgin forever, right?”
He claps his hands over his ears. “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.”
Leaning over, I place a quick kiss on his cheek. “Denial’s an ugly place to live, big brother.”
“Get out of here.” He shoos me out the door. “Call me later.”
Axel holds out the flowers as I approach. “What’s this?”
He shrugs as I take the bouquet. “You sounded kind of down last night.”
“Thanks,” I murmur as I stick my nose in the middle of the blossoms. They don’t have a lot of scent, but it’s the best way to avoid looking Axel in the eye. I barely slept last night. My mind kept returning to Blake. The things he confessed to me at the park. The things he said in his bedroom. Our kiss. The sweet way he took care of me. My brother interrupting everything and then lecturing me on the way home. All of those things replayed on a constant loop. The thing I should have been the most worked up over—almost falling over the cliff, barely made an appearance in my recap of the day.
“Don’t be mad, but I have to work again tonight.”
“Oh. That’s okay. I have some work I need to catch up on.” I certainly didn’t get anything done last night.
“We can meet up later. Maybe grab dinner?”
“Sounds good.” Does it though? When I can’t get my mind off of Blake?
Axel threads his fingers through my hair, holdin
g me still while he leans down and presses a kiss against my lips. It’s quick and sweet.
Then it’s over.
He pulls away a slight frown darkening his face. “See you later?”
“Sure.”
Leaving the clubhouse without saying goodbye to Blake last night still bothers me. After classes, I point my car toward Furious Fitness.
I’ll just drive-by. If I happen to see his bike, maybe I’ll stop in and say hello. Or so I tell myself.
The subtle shimmer of blackened green paint catches my attention. I’d spot Murphy’s bike anywhere. It has a four-leaf clover with the club’s skull and crown logo painted in a subtle way that’s visible in certain light. He’s had some version of that image on his bike for as long as I can remember. My mind strays to the up-close view of his chest where he has the symbol inked into his skin.
Bad Heidi.
As I reach out and wrap my hand around the door, I have second thoughts. Wrath will razz me to death if he catches me here visiting Murphy.
It’s not enough to stop me, though.
Then I enter the gym and want to walk right back out.
Murphy’s watching over a slim blonde girl on a treadmill, arms crossed over his chest. He says a few words to her and makes an adjustment on the machine. The flirty smile she gives him makes my stomach twist, but then he glances up. When his gaze lands on me, a big smile spreads over his face. He says a few words to the girl and walks toward me without his eyes ever leaving mine.
“Hey, what are you doin’ here?” There’s no hug or touch of any kind, which feels weird, even though it’s probably for the best.
“I was driving by and saw your bike in the parking lot, so I thought I’d stop in and say hello. Is that okay?”
“Yeah. Absolutely.” He jerks his thumb over his shoulder at the blonde who’s now glaring at me. “Let me finish up.”
“Yeah, sure. Sorry I interrupted. I can go.”
“Don’t you dare. I’ll be right back.”
I watch as he talks to the girl. Dejected, she takes off for the locker room. I’m not sure what to think about all the jealousy that seized my heart. I have no right. But I still can’t help it. I just don’t have to act on it. Right?
“So, what’s up?” he asks as he approaches, swinging his arms to burn off the restless energy he’s had for as long as I’ve known him.
“I…I felt bad about not saying goodbye yesterday. My brother said—”
“Yeah. I’m sorry, too.”
I think he means about the way the night ended, but then he continues. “I shouldn’t have…well, I get that you’re with Axel.” He almost sounds like he’s choking on every word and I can guess why he felt the need to say all that—my meddling brother.
“What did Marcel threaten to do to you?”
Surprised, he stares at me with wide eyes. I’m too pissed to get lost in their emerald depths, though.
“Nothing.”
“Well, he lectured me all the way home.”
The corner of his mouth lifts into a smirk, but he still won’t confirm my suspicion. An unusual awkwardness settles over us. He finally breaks it by throwing a few fake punches. “So, did you want me to show you some moves?”
That seems appropriate. “Do you remember when you told me what to do if a guy ever—”
“How could I forget? You punched me in the balls to make sure the advice was sound.”
I cringe at the memory. Completely mortified at how obnoxious I was as a kid. “Sorry,” I mutter without looking at him.
He laughs. “I think you cried more than I did.”
“I felt bad I hurt you,” I whisper.
Instead of responding, Blake’s gaze strays to something behind me. “Hey, Twitch.”
I turn and find a lanky kid hovering by the door. There’s plenty of room to move past me, but I inch farther out of his way because he keeps staring at me. The movement pushes me into Murphy who wraps his arm around my shoulders.
“This your girlfriend?” Twitch asks.
It takes Blake a second to answer. “No. My friend Heidi. Teller’s sister.” I’m usually referred to as Teller’s little sister. It may seem like nothing, but it means a lot to me that Blake introduces me as his friend first.
Twitch runs his gaze over me and Blake’s hold drops to my waist, his hand resting on my hip.
“Yeah. I see the resemblance. You’re way prettier than Teller, though.”
“Thanks.” With my brother’s fair coloring and my dark hair, all my life people have questioned whether we’re really related. So hearing that we look alike is honestly more flattering than the pretty comment.
“Move along. Wrath’s waitin’ for you,” Murphy growls at the kid. Twitch hurries away and I step out of Murphy’s hold.
“Really?” I can’t stop the laughter popping out of my mouth.
He shrugs. “I don’t know him that well yet.” He turns and grabs my hand. “Come on, let’s go out back.” He ducks behind the counter and grabs two bottles of water out of the mini-fridge and takes my hand again.
“Sorry, I didn’t come dressed to work out.”
He glances at me over his shoulder as he pulls me through the gym. “That’s okay. It’s break time for me anyway.”
“Murphy, where you going?”
I recognize Wrath’s voice right away then spot him taking up the entire doorway to his office. He grins when he sees me. “What’re you doing here, Heidi-girl?”
I’ve known Wrath my whole life, and he still scares me a little. I also respect him and his opinion means a lot to me. I don’t want him thinking I stopped by his place of business to flirt with Murphy, although in the back of my head, I have to admit, that’s exactly what I did.
“Hi, Uncle Wrath.” Blake drops my hand and I walk over for a quick hug from Wrath. “Murphy said you crack the whip on him pretty hard, so I had to drop in and see if it was true.”
He throws his head back and laughs, and I’m pleased with myself for coming up with something my gravely serious uncle finds amusing.
“Nah, Murphy’s a hard worker. No whip-crackin’ required.”
Wrath has never handed out compliments to anyone freely, so I know it must be true. “That doesn’t surprise me.”
“Twitch come find you?” Murphy asks, changing the subject. I glance over, surprised he’d be embarrassed by the compliment.
“Yeah, he’s cleaning out the break room.”
“Okay. We’ll be out back if you need me.”
“Take your time. Kids won’t be here for another half hour.” He nods at me and then walks out onto the main floor to talk to customers.
“You guys seem to be popular with the ladies,” I say, nodding at the crowd of females flocking to Wrath’s side for “fitness advice.”
Blake’s mouth quirks up. “Yeah. There’s one of those McMansion developments not far from here. I think he runs an ad in Bored Housewife Weekly or something.”
“How does Trinity feel about that?”
His shoulders lift. “I think she finds it funny.” He tips his head at the open office door. “She comes down and works in his office a few days a week. She knows what goes on. Besides, it’s money. Helps pay for the after-school programs he likes to run.”
“Oh.” I mull that over while I follow him out the back door.
When I told Heidi I was working at Wrath’s gym, I just wanted her to know I was doing something else with my time other than babysitting strippers. Especially after I realized how deeply my involvement with the club girls and dancers bothered her. I never expected her to show up for a visit.
I’m crazy-happy to see her though. Can barely keep the grin off my face. Twitch eyeing her like a safe he wanted to crack pissed me the fuck off. Need to keep an eye on that kid. I don’t trust him as much as Wrath does.
One of Trinity’s additions to the gym was a couple of picnic benches out back, so on days like today, we could spend time outside. We’re the only ones out here and it
’s nice to be alone together—someplace safe where I don’t have to worry about her falling over ledges and stuff.
“How are your arms today?” she asks.
I roll up my long sleeves. “Got taken care of by a professional. Bandages are still good.”
The corners of her mouth quiver. She reaches out and runs her fingers over the gauze. “You should probably change these tonight.”
“Wanna come supervise?”
“If you need me to.”
She flicks her gaze up and catches me staring at her. Something’s been bothering me since she stopped in. “You okay? You look tired. Hittin’ the books hard?”
Her lips curve into a slight smirk. “Thanks a lot. Nothing better than hearing I look like shit.”
“You’re fucking gorgeous. I just worry about you.”
Her face softens. “Yes. I’ve been studying late.”
“I’m glad you stopped by.”
“Really? I wasn’t sure—”
“Yes, really.”
“Your bike stands out. It caught my eye.”
“Yeah?”
“Yup. Are you upset it’s almost time to garage it for the winter?”
“Hell, yeah. But it’s been pretty warm. You never know. Might be able to ride right up until Christmas.”
“Always hopeful. That’s good, Blake.” She stares at where our fingers are sort of rubbing up against each other.
“I was thinking of going on a run. Haven’t taken my bike for a long ride in way too long.”
She peeks up at me. “By yourself?”
“Yeah. Unless you want to come with me. You used to beg me to take you all the time when you were little.”
Her cheeks turn pink. “Yeah. Sorry.”
“No. It was cute.”
“You promised me a cross-country trip when I was old enough, remember?”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“Yes.” She looks away, sadness turning her mouth down.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just used to—never mind.”
“You still want to be my co-pilot?”
Her surprised eyes meet mine. “Me?”
“Yeah you. Never had anyone go with me before. On the back of my bike, I mean.” I wait to see if what I’m trying to explain to her sinks in.