VII
SAVED BY A MAGIC LANTERN
When the Sunday dinner was over, the Twins, on Mr. Munchausen'sinvitation, climbed into the old warrior's lap, Angelica kissing himon the ear, and Diavolo giving his nose an affectionate tweak.
"Ah!" said the Baron. "That's it!"
"What's what, Uncle Munch?" demanded Diavolo.
"Why that," returned the Baron. "I was wondering what it was I neededto make my dinner an unqualified success. There was something lacking,but what it was, we have had so much, I could not guess until you twoImps kissed me and tweaked my nasal feature. Now I know, for really afeeling of the most blessed contentment has settled upon my soul."
"Don't you wish _you_ had two youngsters like us, Uncle Munch?" askedthe Twins.
"Do I wish I had? Why I have got two youngsters like you," the Baronreplied. "I've got 'em right here too."
"Where?" asked the Twins, looking curiously about them for the othertwo.
"On my knees, of course," said he. "You are mine. Your papa gave youto me--and you are as like yourselves as two peas in a pod."
"I--I hope you aren't going to take us away from here," said theTwins, a little ruefully. They were very fond of the Baron, but theydidn't exactly like the idea of being given away.
"Oh no--not at all," said the Baron. "Your father has consented tokeep you here for me and your mother has kindly volunteered to lookafter you. There is to be no change, except that you belong to me,and, vice versa, I belong to you."
"And I suppose, then," said Diavolo, "if you belong to us you've gotto do pretty much what we tell you to?"
"Exactly," responded Mr. Munchausen. "If you should ask me to tell youa story I'd have to do it, even if you were to demand the fullparticulars of how I spent Christmas with Mtulu, King of the TaafeEatars, on the upper Congo away down in Africa--which is a tale I havenever told any one in all my life."
"It sounds as if it might be interesting," said the Twins. "Those arereal candy names, aren't they?"
"Yes," said the Baron. "Taafe sounds like taffy and Mtulu is verysuggestive of chewing gum. That's the curious thing about the savagetribes of Africa. Their names often sound as if they might be thingsto eat instead of people. Perhaps that is why they sometimes eat eachother--though, of course, I won't say for sure that that is the realexplanation of cannibalism."
"What's cannon-ballism?" asked Angelica.
"He didn't say cannon-ballism," said Diavolo, scornfully. "It wascandy-ballism."
"Well--you've both come pretty near it," said the Baron, "and we'lllet the matter rest there, or I won't have time to tell you howChristmas got me into trouble with King Mtulu."
The Baron called for a cigar, which the Twins lighted for him and thenhe began.
"You may not have heard," he said, "that some twenty or thirty yearsago I was in command of an expedition in Africa. Our object was tofind Lake Majolica, which we hoped would turn up half way betweenLollokolela and the Clebungo Mountains. Lollokolela was thefurthermost point to which civilisation had reached at that time, andwas directly in the pathway to the Clebungo Mountains, which thenatives said were full of gold and silver mines and scattered all overwhich were reputed to be caves in which diamonds and rubies and othergems of the rarest sort were to be found in great profusion. No whiteman had ever succeeded in reaching this marvellously rich range ofhills for the reason that after leaving Lollokolela there was, as faras was known, no means of obtaining water, and countless adventurousspirits had had to give up because of the overpowering thirst whichthe climate brought upon them.
"Under such circumstances it was considered by a company of gentlemenin London to be well worth their while to set about the discovery of alake, which they decided in advance to call Majolica, for reasons bestknown to themselves; they probably wanted to jar somebody with it. Andto me was intrusted the mission of leading the expedition. I willconfess that I did not want to go for the very good reason that I didnot wish to be eaten alive by the savage tribes that infested thatregion, but the company provided me with a close fitting suit of mail,which I wore from the time I started until I returned. It was veryfortunate for me that I was so provided, for on three distinctoccasions I was served up for state dinners and each time successfullyresisted the carving knife and as a result, was thereafter wellreceived, all the chiefs looking upon me as one who bore a charmedexistence."
Here the Baron paused long enough for the Twins to reflect upon andrealise the terrors which had beset him on his way to Lake Majolica,and be it said that if they had thought him brave before they nowdeemed him a very hero of heroes.
"When I set out," said the Baron, "I was accompanied by ten Zanzibarisand a thousand tins of condensed dinners."
"A thousand what, Uncle Munch?" asked Jack, his mouth watering.
"Condensed dinners," said the Baron, "I had a lot of my favouritedinners condensed and put up in tins. I didn't expect to be gone morethan a year and a thousand dinners condensed and tinned, together withthe food I expected to find on the way, elephant meat, rhinocerossteaks, and tiger chops, I thought would suffice for the trip. I couldeat the condensed dinners and my followers could have the elephant'smeat, rhinoceros steaks, and tiger chops--not to mention the bananasand other fruits which grow wild in the African jungle. It was notlong, however, before I made the discovery that the Zanzibaris, inorder to eat tigers, need to learn first how to keep tigers fromeating them. We went to bed late one night on the fourth day out fromLollokolela, and when we waked up the next morning every mother's sonof us, save myself, had been eaten by tigers, and again it was nothingbut my coat of mail that saved me. There were eighteen tigers' teethsticking into the sleeve of the coat, as it was. You can imagine mydistress at having to continue the search for Lake Majolica alone. Itwas then that I acquired the habit of talking to myself, which haskept me young ever since, for I enjoy my own conversation hugely, andfind myself always a sympathetic listener. I walked on for days anddays, until finally, on Christmas Eve, I reached King Mtulu's palace.Of course your idea of a palace is a magnificent five-story buildingwith beautiful carvings all over the front of it, marble stair-casesand handsomely painted and gilded ceilings. King Mtulu's palace wasnothing of the sort, although for that region it was quitemagnificent, the walls being decorated with elephants' tusks,crocodile teeth and many other treasures such as delight the soul ofthe Central African.
"Now as I may not have told you, King Mtulu was the fiercest of theAfrican chiefs, and it is said that up to the time when I outwittedhim no white man had ever encountered him and lived to tell the tale.Consequently, when without knowing it on this sultry Christmas Eve,laden with the luggage and the tinned dinners and other things I hadbrought with me I stumbled upon the blood-thirsty monarch I gavemyself up for lost.
"'Who comes here to disturb the royal peace?' cried Mtulu, savagely,as I crossed the threshold.
"'It is I, your highness,' I returned, my face blanching, for Irecognized him at once by the ivory ring he wore in the end of hisnose.
"'Who is I?' retorted Mtulu, picking up his battle axe and stridingforward.
"A happy thought struck me then. These folks are superstitious.Perhaps the missionaries may have told these uncivilised creatures thestory of Santa Claus. I will pretend that I am Santa Claus. So Ianswered, 'Who is I, O Mtulu, Bravest of the Taafe Chiefs? I am SantaClaus, the Children's Friend, and bearer of gifts to and for all.'
"Mtulu gazed at me narrowly for a moment and then he beat lightly upon atom-tom at his side. Immediately thirty of the most villainous-lookingnatives, each armed with a club, appeared.
"'Arrest that man,' said Mtulu, 'before he goes any farther. He is animpostor.'
"'If your majesty pleases,' I began.
"'Silence!' he cried, 'I am fierce and I eat men, but I love truth.The truthful man has nothing to fear from me, for I have beenconverted from my evil ways and since last New Year's day I have eatenonly those who have attempted to deceive me. You will be served raw atdinner to-morrow night.
My respect for your record as a man of courageleads me to spare you the torture of the frying-pan. You are BaronMunchausen. I recognized you the moment you turned pale. Another manwould have blushed.'
"So I was carried off and shut up in a mud hovel, the interior wallsof which were of white, a fact which strangely enough, preserved mylife when later I came to the crucial moment. I had brought with me,among other things, for my amusement solely, a magic lantern. As achild, I had always been particularly fond of pictures, and when Ithought of the lonely nights in Africa, with no books at hand, notheatres, no cotillions to enliven the monotony of my life, I resolvedto take with me my little magic-lantern as much for company as foranything else. It was very compact in form. It folded up to be hardlylarger than a wallet containing a thousand one dollar bills, and theglass lenses of course could be carried easily in my trousers pockets.The views, instead of being mounted on glass, were put on a substancenot unlike glass, but thinner, called gelatine. All of these things Icarried in my vest pockets, and when Mtulu confiscated my luggage themagic lantern and views of course escaped his notice.
"Christmas morning came and passed and I was about to give myself upfor lost, for Mtulu was not a king to be kept from eating a man byanything so small as a suit of mail, when I received word that beforedinner my captor and his suite were going to pay me a formal partingcall. Night was coming on and as I sat despondently awaiting theking's arrival, I suddenly bethought me of a lantern slide of theBritish army, standing and awaiting the command to fire, I happened tohave with me. It was a superb view--lifelike as you please. Why notthrow that on the wall and when Mtulu enters he will find meapparently with a strong force at my command, thought I. It was nosooner thought than it was done and my life was saved. Hardly was thatnoble picture reflected upon the rear wall of my prison when the dooropened and Mtulu, followed by his suite, appeared. I rose to greethim, but apparently he saw me not. Mute with terror he stood upon thethreshold gazing at that terrible line of soldiers ready as he thoughtto sweep him and his men from the face of the earth with theirdeath-dealing bullets.
"'I am your slave,' he replied to my greeting, kneelingbefore me, 'I yield all to you.'" _Chapter VII._]
"'I am your slave,' he replied to my greeting, kneeling before me, 'Iyield all to you.'
"'I thought you would,' said I. 'But I ask nothing save the discoveryof Lake Majolica. If within twenty-four hours Lake Majolica is notdiscovered I give the command to fire!' Then I turned and gave theorder to carry arms, and lo! by a quick change of slides, the armyappeared at a carry. Mtulu gasped with terror, but accepted myultimatum. I was freed, Lake Majolica was discovered before teno'clock the next morning, and at five o'clock I was on my way home,the British army reposing quietly in my breast pocket. It was a mightynarrow escape!"
"I should say so," said the Twins. "But Mtulu must have been awfulstupid not to see what it was."
"Didn't he see through it when he saw you put the army in yourpocket?" asked Diavolo.
"No," said the Baron, "that frightened him worse than ever, for yousee he reasoned this way. If I could carry an army in my pocket-book,what was to prevent my carrying Mtulu himself and all his tribe off inthe same way! He thought I was a marvellous man to be able to dothat."
"Well, we guess he was right," said the Twins, as they climbed downfrom the Baron's lap to find an atlas and search the map of Africa forLake Majolica. This they failed to find and the Baron's explanation isunknown to me, for when the Imps returned, the warrior had departed.