Chapter IV-
I cannot believe it
Arrived in my hotel room, I lay down on my bed, being so exhausted, given that I did not slept last night, and my head was exploding. To cut the long story short, we woke up Abigail at 7 o’clock and together we went to the bus. It disturbed me that Lars invited himself to seat right next to her, while I was sitting much farer, watching them envy how they were laughing and playing. When we made it in Heraklion, Abby went to seep in her room, having a little sand in her hair, and me in mines.
I liked her. Honestly, I really did, but I did not stand the idea that she might like Laurence. Was impossible, was it?
I mean, if I am thinking sharper, let us not forget that Laurence was a lunatic, our studying subject and Abigail was conscious that she could not link herself to a man who can hurt her. But something tells me that Abby likes extreme sports. I closed my eyes. The image with her on the beach in the dawn came into my mind. The reddish rays of sunshine, playing in her brown and easy curly hair. Her beautiful smile, that I could taste her sweet lips without satisfying.
In the next morning, I woke up at seven. I was happy, and no idea why, maybe the simple fact that I slept like a log after a long night. I went to bathroom and the first thing I did was a cold shower. I return in my room with a grain on my face and another first thing came into my mind, and it was a coffee on a Greek terrace bar. And so the idea starts to take control of my mind, taking a paper and a pen:
“Abby, I will wait you at 10 o’clock at the bar where we had our sodas. We have to talk. Damian E.J.”
I blended the paper and I put on a blue shirt, wearing short and black jeans. Let’s not forget my sunglasses.
I went out same as happy how I awake. With the paper in hand, I lower with a floor. I knocked at her door easy, did not wanted to wake her up and after that I sneaked the paper under her door, lowering the steps to reception lobby and from there outside in the light of the morning summer. I took a deep breath, while I was walking alone down the paved streets of the Heraklion city. I was curious to see the Venetian seaport, there being an Italian castle, but I have decided that was not good to traipse alone in a foreigner city. Was nice to walk, my mind was cooling while my thought start to clear. A girl gang passes near me, and that teenage girls started to giggle when they saw me. I wondered if I had something on my face. To be shore of that thought, I stopped at a parked car and looked in a rear-view mirror. I didn’t had nothing, my face was the same, pale with pink tint, like I knew it to be. I smiled to myself and I continued my walk, lowering on some stone steps to the seaport. I observed the bar terrace almost empty at that hour, and I took a seat at a round table, felting the sea breeze. Oh my God, how good it is to seat in the morning time at coffee, on a terrace with lot of sun, near a crystalline sea. I ordered a coffee and I looked in my phone. Many messages from my mother. I started to read them bored, speedy:
“Are you alright? I forgot to tell you, I took a holiday from my work…How have you been?”
“Why you don’t send me a sms back?”
“Are you alright sweetheart? Don’t forget that your mother loves you.”
“Hmhm,” someone said, and I took my eyes from my phone, putting them up.
Abby was standing up, happily as usual in front of me, having her hair caught in a tail.
“Abby, hello. Please, take a seat.” I said polite, inviting her to seat next to me at the table.
“I received your message. I have something that will knock you down.”
“What? Do you want a coffee?”
“Yes please. I just woke up recently; I took a cab until here. Barely I escaped from Helen, she wanted to come with me.
“Honestly, that’s torn it to me to ruin my good humor.”
I made a sign to the waiter.
“A coffee for young lady please. Same as mine.
“Sure.”
“Good humor?” Abby said, being amazed. She never saw me in a good humor. The truth is that I have them so rare, but when I do have it, the people around me are happy.
“Yes. I finally slept much longer, since I have changed the time zone. I don’t feel tired no more.”
“That’s great to hear. I talked with Lars, later I will go at his place,” she said, watching me with a serious face. I did not give her my attention for that, as I did not hear her. I really did not want the image of Lars to destroy my day.
“Ok. But why you said I will go instead of we will go?” I curiously asked, even if I was happy that I would not go.
“Because he starts with me to get along very well and in this way I can see some of his aspects much easier. I want to meet Alex.”
“I think you have a screw loose, do you like the risks?” I asked her amused by her saying.
“Why you say so?” She asked me, serious.
“Well, the idea to stay and chat with a murderer…” I laughed.
“Murderer? Damian, this guy didn’t kill anyone. Just because he’s a schizophrenic that doesn’t mean that he has to kill. I believe that his illness starts to pass away. Anyway, not of this is about. You have to see something.”
Abby fished out from her backpack, sort of a folder. The waiter brought us the coffees, and I was curious about what she wanted to show me.
“Look through it.” She urged me.
I opened it, and a mug shot picture with Laurence was on the front page, after that another file was. I remained stoned. .
“How…you…from…” I started to fumble, seeing her triumph smile.
“We no longer can work for the project. With the information we have in our hands, we guarantied our brilliant future.” She said.
“Abby, from where did you have this?” I asked still in shock. “Ok, but promise me that you will tell no one. I have from my mother. My mom is a shrink, and she got the Laurence file.”
“You are…a genius,” I shouted, jumping. The people around started to loom at our table. Even Abby seemed elated.
I sat back.
“Wow, this guy didn’t stand still. Laurence Edger Mill, born in Vancouver, Canada, in 6 January 1992. Diseases: Bronchitis, this guy has asthma?”
“Seems to be. When he gets mad or he gets scared, he has issues with breathing.” Abby answered.
“Ok…aaa, diagnosed with schizophrenia…bla bla bla…and…Depression. He suffers?”
“Well I believe so, if he stays locked in his room.”
“Whatever. He has a criminal record for driving without a license, hitting a woman and aggressing a police officer, fake identity. He decelerates that his name is Alex Milles, instead of Laurence Mill…” I read it, looking at Abby, who was smiling.
“See…he has even a criminal record. There doesn’t say but that car was stolen. He was under Alex’s effect. His friends, illusions of course, told him to do this.”
“So, end of project.” I said, closing the folder very pleased. “We can go home…”
“No we won’t! Until 4 August, we have to stay here. A month, don’t forget. We still have days to count.”
“But we cannot say that this case is resolved?”
“Damian, they know our case. They will not believe us. I am not allowed to find these things from my mom. If they will catch us, we can say good-bye to our future! Do you understand? We will stay here and pretend that we are still working.”
I remained silence. The joy of leavening passed me like came. But I still had a dose of happiness, considering that Abby remained with me.
“Helen is calling!” Abby said, answering her phone.
“Hello, Abby? My dear, Ms. Vanessa called. She wants to know how you’ree managing so far.”
“Aaaa, yeah, I’m managing very well. Tell her that I will send tonight the first part.”
“Ok sweetie, I will. Hugs and Kisses.”
“Bye”, Abby said very white.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes, my teacher called Helen. She wants some results. We already know everything. I ha
ve to write it down the part when we met our subject, made friends with him, and for the moment, we didn’t notice anything.”
“I am wondering when Mr. Bins will call me.”
“He won’t. He will take this notes which I will send.”
„Ok then. Good luck!”
Abby smiled and we started to drink our coffees before it will turn into ice. Was an irony, considering that outside the sun was already a fireball.
“What do you want to do today?” I asked.
“I told you, I have to see Lars.”
“Can I come with you? Promise this time I will talk more.” I said, didn’t want to seat all day in a hotel room.
“I’m sorry Damian. I will go alone, now that the project it’s done. Let’s enjoy our holiday.
The created monster in me, whispered that Abigail Woods was lying. I did not wish to listen much to this monster; otherwise, I would start a fight with her. I did not want to start believing that the girl is lying to me; I could not stand the lie.
We didn’t address a word from that discussion. We raised up from our table after drinking our coffees and we went on the road back to the hotel. Was already 2 pm. For the first time, from when I came in Greece, I wanted to make Laurence a visit. I really didn’t know why, but I wasn’t trusting her, especially him which admitted to me on the beach that he likes her.
“Look!” Abby made me open my eyes to see what she was shouting about.
She was pointing to a shop of clothes. No.
“Abigail, to…”
“You called me Abigail. Since when?” She told me, being easily shocked.
“Usually I call people on their full name.” I said without regrets.
“Until now you never called me on my full name. What’s wrong with you?”
She figured it out that I wasn’t myself today and somehow I was angry.
“Aw, I am terrible sorry that I called you on your full name. How silly of me.” I said ironically
“You know what? Just let it go!”
She turned around from me, but my inside monster came above.
“No. You let it go!”
“Excuse me?” She said, turning back.
“Yes, you heard me. I do not understand why you are lying to me. At least why you don’t tell me the truth that you have a date with Lars rather then saying that you meet him just like…to seat and gossip a little bit. Or he is gay and I didn’t know?”
“I don’t understand why you are frustrating yourself. After all, I signed in to the project for him! To study him…”
“Yea, but what studying it is requiring left when we know even what he eats for breakfast.”
“I care about him. I want to help him. A thing that you’ll never understand.”
She left me open-mouthed and she left me for good, breaking away.
“Abby! You don’t know what you are doing!” I yelled, but in vain. She didn’t turn around even with a look. I was jealous. I was banging of jealousy; I just wanted to run after her, to turn her face to me and to kiss her lips very sensual.
But of course that these things happened only in my mind, watching helpless how she was living me to meet the other one. What I was feeling in that moment? Tears, yes, the tears started to fall out from my brown, childish eyes, tears which I hate them. I did not stand to cry because of a person. I was too stupid that I cared. I turned away with a flea in mine’s ear and walked slowly with a pain in my soul.
Was already sunset and I was still walking on the streets, after I drank two glasses of vodka, being a little dizzy, I did not resist not to cry. Yea, yea, the typical thing for a man hurt in love, but I wanted to see the rest who makes remarks of it, how they would manage in a situation like this, knowing that you have a platonic love, and you want so desperately to transform it into a real one. Knowing that the person you love is with other one.
No…I wanted to forget, but how to do that. I was so anger at the thought that I have to endure a whole month without her affection. And in that moment I had no idea where the hell I was walking, but I enjoyed it. For real, I really liked it. I don’t know why, an image with them, being on the very-known terrace bar, the place where I liked to call our place, came into my mind. Our place. How sweet can sounds. And probably now, she was sharing with that handicap bastard, with rotten mind. I didn’t care if he was double then me. I didn’t care if he was champion at martial arts, I just wanted to drown him into the sea. So therefore I turned away back, and I knock down a girl, literally.
“Parakolouthiste ton tropo sas. Eisai trelos?”
“I am so sorry. I am…”
“You are stupid. And drunk.”
„Parakolouthiste ton tropo sas. Eisai trelos?”
„I am so sorry…I am…”
„You are stupid. And drunk.”
Jesus! I just wanted to grab her hair and…but I couldn’t hurt a girl, first rule learned from my mother and probably the last one, never hit a woman. I just made a face behind her and continued my way. I reached the Lion Square, I think in that way it is called, because in the middle was a Venetian fountain, with lions statues who were throw up water. How horrible I have described. Anyway, I make a bow at it, move along my way, making some people staring at me, and laugh.
“What are you looking at, Greeks?”
Me, the great lord of England, making way throw the square agglomeration and ended up in a dead end. I didn’t had no idea where was I. Clearly, I got lost.
What was my luck? Simple answer. A yellow car named taxi, therefore I got the first one which I’ve seen it, having only 30 euros in my pocket, I really didn’t care how much the taxi will cost me until my destination. I had a credit card too.
“Kalispera…At the Greek Corner, where is the seaport parakalou.”
“Kala my friend.”
I did not wish to discuss things with the driver, being already with my heart small like flee, because of that image, with both of them hugging, haunting my mind. I just wanted to make sore that I was crazy and not intuitive. The man was driving very slow, a thing, which was exasperating me; even a snail could walk much faster then us, the street being almost empty. He was taking me near the Venetian port --superb, very superb-- and finally he stops me near that bar terrace. I was very pale, being much near to pass out.
“How much costs?”
“5 Euros.”
Wasn’t much, after my expectations and my orientations, should have been 50 euros or much more. The geography and me. I get off the car, smashing unopposed his door, I could hear the driver swearing, and cursing me in Greek language, I didn’t care. I just wanted to make sure that…wasn’t there. Yes, they weren’t there.
I breathed easily at the thing that both of them weren’t loving each other on the porch and I smiled from the bottom of my heart, thanking God. How happy I could be because they weren’t there, but the intuition didn’t left me alone. Still was it saying to search, to fight with Laurence for Abby, and to put in the girl’s silky hands my heart. I ignored the intuition because was cheating me, it cheated me with the terrace bar, and therefore I just putted my hands in pockets and went to another cab with a large smile on my face. I get in one of them and I told the drive in Greek to take me at Blue Paradise Hotel. The driver approved, and then he started to talk in his own language about stuff that did not matter to me, well if I would understand them. If the drivers will caught that you are not from the town, they can trick you so easily. That is why I preferred to be Greek in those moments not to risk paying 100 euros for 2 m.
The Greek driver realized that I was not from his kin, because he asked me something and I continued to say yes.
“Where are you my friend?” He asked me, amused by the situation and by my yeses.
“United Kingdom.” I said somehow proud.
“Shut up! Really?”
“Aaaa…yes.”
“Cool. I have a sister and she works in Dublin.”
“Aaa,, Dublin is in Ireland, has nothing to do with
England.”
“What? It’s not the capital of England?”
I was looking at him like an idiot.
“If Dublin is the England’s capital, then Dublin is the capital of which state?”
“London…of Scotland.”
No shit?
“I am Londoner. I came from London, which is the capital of the Grand Britain.”
“How many countries are there?”
“It’s just England! But formally is called The United Kingdom of Grand Britain and North Ireland.”
“So Ireland is a part of England?”
“No mate! Only the north. Dublin city is the capital of non British Ireland.”
“Then she lied to me! She said that it is located in England at Dublin.”
“She wasn’t lying; probably she has the same brilliant mind like you do.” I said with sarcasm.
“Thank you my friend.”
I looked at him. So Greece wasn’t aware of the British irony. He smiled at me, as if I just said he has a brilliant mind, talking seriously. Whatever, considering that for this driver The Dublin city replace London, then I was Chinese.
I checked my phone and saw that I had a message from Abby. With my heart located in my neck, I read it:
“Damian. We will talk tomorrow. Please, don’t start to look after me; I’m to upset to talk with you. Abby --NOT Abigail!--
I smiled at the parenthesis but I felt terrible. She did not want to talk with me because I upset her. Probably she was in her room, reading something or on the internet, and I was searching my mind for an image to see if it was real.
“We are here my friend.” The driver said with a happy smile.
I thank him, paid and get off from the car but suddenly I stood stiff.
Abby was getting off from a taxi, being testy. She goes in the hotel and I ran after trying so hard to catch her, even if she already told me to stay away and not disturb her. However, I never listen to an advice. Therefore, I entered the glass doors in time, because she was already in the elevator, preparing to leave to her room.
“Abby!”
She turned her face to me, easily scared.
“What you want Damian? Did you come to throw stones in me, again?”
From her voice, I could notice that she was more then upset on me.
“No Abby, I want to apologize…but seem to be that you don’t care!”
“To care about what Damian? I don’t understand a damn from what you’ree saying. You talk in riddles.”
“I am referring to your beloved Lars!”
“He’s not my beloved. Damian, we will talk tomorrow when you will be sober.” She said getting into the elevator. I didn’t dare to put my hand between the elevator’s doors but I start to ran on the stairs up and I arrived before her at the first floor.
“Damian, are you crazy?” She said to me, when she saw me standing straight at the elevator.
“Please Abby, listen to me!”
“No. You listen. Leave me alone. I am too mad at you.” She said while she was walking to her room door, and me stinking like a bur after her.
“What do you see on Laurence? Do you love him?”
“For your curiosity, yes, I care about him and I think we are much more then friends. And all that I’m asking you Damian is to not destroy our friendship.”
“So…for…for you I am just…a friend?” I said hurt.
“Of course. My best friend. I told you that we would be friends. But if you’ll not stop acting like an ass then we will be no more.”
“Ok. Good night Abby.”
“The same to you. Go up, calm down, rest and we will talk tomorrow.”
She said all this with her sweet smile and got in her room, while I was living, climbing the stairs slowly, and every step I felt it so hard to walk on. So was true. I do not have to search her true feeling anymore. I don’t have to look in every single seaport bars or in parks. Was hurting me so badly, and the monster within me was dyeing. Somehow was a good thing that my jealousy was passing away, disappearing from me. Still my heart was burn and my soul whipped by her words, which resonated in my head, like an echo:
”Why do you see Laurence? Do you love him?”
“For your curiosity, yes, I care about him and I think we are much more then friends. And all that I’m asking you Damian is to not destroy our friendship.”
We had a friendship. The truth is that I landed from the beginning in the friend zone, but I thought to myself that Abby will realize what feelings I have for her and now I looked like a jackass. And yes, I do not wish to destroy a friendship. It was gnawing inside me knowing that she just came from Laurence and the dyeing monster did not last long, helpless struggling.
Arrived in my room, more dead then alive, I slammed the door, putting myself down like a little child. I was crying, hurt me that I was ignored, throw away like a worthless paper, I really did not understood why, what I did wrong to be in her eyes just a simple mate? I do not want to find out the answer of my question, but an idea was growing in my mind. Only one person on this planet could help me.
Unseeing the phone because of the tears, I wiped my tears off and found it, dialing a number very well known. A chaotic voice answered.
“Sweetheart? God, I am so pleased that you called. Are you ok? How have you been?”
“Hello mother, yes I am…no, I am not ok. I want to talk with you about something.”
I squatted near the balcony door, feeling a breeze like a soft petting.
“What do you mean? What happened? Are you all right?”
“Mom, I want for you to tell me something very honestly. How was it…?”
“How was it what? Damian, are you crying? You scare me!”
“How was it mom…what did you feel…when my father died?”
After how was normal and how I expected, nothing I could hear, just a sigh.
“You know very well Damian that I do not wish to speak about this.”
“I know. But what you felt, I am feeling now for a person.”
“My dear, are you in love? Are you suffering out of love?”
“It is not a joy mother…what did you felt. I want you to help me.”
“Only you can help yourself my sweet, just try to forget her. Who is she?”
“My project partner. She is such a girl…rare you can met with. Beautiful, smart, but she is in love with someone else…she wants me just as a friend.”
Silence. My mother was thinking what to say to me, she was chousing the better words.
“My sweet, you have to understand a thing. It is not easy. Not like me, you still have a chance.”
“A chance to what?”
“The chance to say everything to her, the chance to let her see what feeling you have. Let her see the truth. Until is not too late.
I took a breath and I’d smiled soft, knowing that in those moments, my mother was on my side, no matter how naive she may be, I just have to admit that without her…She had enough problems all her life. My father, a very appreciate man by people, a man with esteem and respect, doctor by trade, ironically was killed by a illness which he was healing people by it, meaning heart failure. His heart stopped beating in a night, where he had a argument with my mother -- at least she told me this thing, even if I remember something different, that he took his life away, none the less that I do not remember well--. I was pretty little and I don’t remember much, but from that on, my mother attach to me very strong, and what I know about her is that my mother, from that on, she fell in a long depression, that is why I don’t judge her. I don’t want to end up like that with Abby. In addition, for that, I have to get strong and have courage and to tell her what I feel, even if Laurence took her from me.
“My darling. Are you still there?”
“Yes mother. I will go to sleep. Thank you for your advice, I love you.”
“I love you too. Good luck.”
I closed the phone, crying even much harder then before. I felt so much pain fo
r this and having so much spite. I throw the phone on the other side of my hotel room, taking a place on the cold floor, and suffering. I felt that I was choking in my pain, but what could I do. Only to consume myself. I didn’t have experience to cope these things, so that beside to suffer, I did not know what to do. God, please help me!
I was located in a sort of a labyrinth, with lots of doors beside me and I could hear horse tramping, somewhere. I looked behind my back, terrified, not knowing who or what was there. The terror started to conquer me and I started to run. After a turning, I saw Abby crying, bleeding.
“Abby! Abby!”
Seemed to be that she was not aware of my presence there, she could not hear me, because she did not react. I felt in my knee next to her, and I pushed aside a hair strand over her beautiful face. I groan when I saw her left bruised left eye, and a cut on her face suggested me that someone brutalized her.
“D…Dam…Damian” she hummed, strongly shaking.
“I’m hear, my love! I’m here!”
“Why? Why did you have to go?”
“No! I’m here.”
She even did not hear me. I grab her in my arms but she was still shaking and calling me.
Those sounds of hooves got closer to my ears, and when I looked up, I saw a creature…with a bullhead and a body of a man.
“Damian! Let her go. She wanted this!”
His voice was very familiar to me. Despite of the Greek legends, the Minotaur was hidden in a labyrinth so no one can see him. A labyrinth created by Daedalus and with his son Icarus, they escaped from the labyrinth by flying, but how everybody knows Icarus felt in the sea because of not listening to his father. But that Minotaur was very familiar to me.
“What do you want?” I shouted to him, even if the monster was triple big then I.
“I want for you to let her go. She wanted this. She loves me. Now she has to pay the price.
“I love her to much to leave her here.”
“You will still leave. She will stay with me.”
In that moment, the Minotaur hit me, throwing me away. He got closer to Abby and with a stroke…
I woke up. I heard a soft zoom on the floor. I realized that I was dreaming and I started to breath easily. I felt my face heavy from so much crying, and my back was hurting. I approached the phone and I saw that I had a message from my mother:
”My dear, tell her what you feel until it is too late.”