Chapter V-
Why should I care?
The days were passing by the calendar, and I preferred to not discus any more with no one and to literally seat in my hotel room and to not give a damn about her, Abby. Seemed to be that even she didn’t looked for me, and if I am not mistaken I know that the next day after that night, she knocked on my door, sent me messages to go shopping with her, but only that. I did not want it at all. I went to the breakfast with an impassible face, didn’t said hi to no one and I took a plate getting some eggs with bacon, after that I took place to a table, quietly like I came. I did not saw Abby at the breakfast and for that, I was relieved. I really wanted to forget her. Even if my mother was somehow right in some points, to tell her what I feel inside, I really didn’t want to do this and why? To be an open book for her and after that to burn me down?
I knew that the situation would not change a bit if I will tell her that I love her, because she still loved Laurence and I wondered if that individual could transform himself in Alex, like werewolves, but something is telling me that he can do it. They were happy together and who am I to ruin their happiness? But from when the science men mate with their lab mice? Like in Abby’s case, she knows everything about him…and still. Whatever, if I would not see her in my eyes, so much the better, because she could wake my inside monster. I will not more go alone on the Greek streets or to force my poor stomach to accept alcoholic drinks, just because I am to damn stupid to accept the reality sober. But I didn’t know why, this time I could stay calm and eat like that as well. A new thing came into picture. I talked with Mr. Bins, and he told me that Abigail Woods lied with the all month staying. Once the project it’s done, I can return home. I was happy; I can go to Grand Britain, home, where is the best place on earth. There is where my clumsy mother lives and a dog named Dingo and a noisy neighbor, who has a fight with herself over past 10 years from now --in stead of coming in Greece to study a schizophrenic, I could easily study her-- of course I am joking, honestly I just wanted to go home. To forget that I was in Greece, but only one thing I wanted to do here, and that is to visit the famous palace from Knossos, where it says that under it is the Minotaur’s labyrinth. After that, I will fly off the island. Not like Icarus but with a plain. Let’s be honest, we are in 21’s century. Anyway, I left the restaurant thinking to go in my room and to take a shower and after that to talk with the receptionist about the busses for Knossos. To prepare my photo camera, even if it stood still all this time in a drawer. Therefore, I got up from my table and exit the hotel’s restaurant, satiated. What I loved the most about the mornings in that hotel was the coffee. The Frappe. How good was to drink that cold coffee with ice, and staying relaxed on a chair, or even in my beautiful room balcony, watching the blue sea and feeling the soft breeze. I was heading towards the elevator, going slightly. I pushed the button waiting for it to come down, and the after that the doors opened and I got in, observing my face in the mirror, as I used to know it. The mirror’s reflection smiled at me, and I got out with that smile on my face, playing with my key.
“Damian!”
A much known voice called my name very sharp. I didn’t want to turn around to see who called me, continuing what I started, namely to get in my room. When I managed to open my door and to put a step in, the voice started again to call my name.
“Damian, please. Damian! Please, open the door.” Said the voice, knocking on the door. I stood with my front head on the door, unwilling to go back in the past.
“Damian, I know you can hear me. I want to talk with you. Damian?”
I couldn’t ignore the voice; therefore I opened the door, looking at her white slippers.
“Damian…I want…I want to apologize for the past days. I know I was very callous.”
“Ok.” I said sharp and when I tried to close the door, she blocked it with her foot.
“Not so fast Damian. Just listen. Please stop being so stubborn. We need to talk.”
“About what?” I avoided looking in her eyes, fearing that she could charm me again, even if her voice gave me creeps.
“I know you hate me, but I will not let you to ignore me again. We need to talk. Please, let’s just go to our place.”
“It’s not our place anymore, since you spoiled it with Laurence.”
“Ok then…let’s go outside.”
“No. Come in.”
I stepped away from the entrance letting her in, and I keep my breath to not smell her perfume again. She took a seat on my bed, looking at me.
“Do you want something to drink?” I asked her.
“Water, please.”
I took a clean glass and pouring water in it, giving then to her. For the first time, since she came to my door, I watched her. She was weakened, pale, and that something beautiful disappeared. She was as if she had an illness. I took a chair, putting myself on. I was proud that I stopped listen to my heart.
“Damian…”
“Yes Abby.”
She looked down to her knees, thinking what to say. Even if I, somehow, had an intuition what will be next.
“I know I was, somehow rough…but I don’t…I don’t want to break out. Like friends.”
“Abby, I…”
“No, please, just listen…I care about you to much to let you go away. I will not let you to do this to me. You’re…”
“I’m an ass, that’s who I am! I am an idiot because I let myself away with the flood, because I was jealous. That I…looked into your eyes different.”
Silence came between us. Abby looked at me almost crying, I just looked back at her with no reaction. What could I say? Somehow I wanted so bad to disburden my mind, to tell her everything I had in mind, but my method of giving away my thoughts was to harsh and no matter what she did to me, I couldn’t do this.
“I am an ass, because I had to keep just a fellowship with you, friendship, but it seems to be that everything is mess up.”
“Why are you saying this, Damian?”
“Anyway, I no more matter in this business. By the way, how is going with Laurence?”
Abby bowed her look again.
“Well…we had a little fight.”
“Why?”
“I saw Alex last night, for the first time.”
I got surprised.
“And? Are you ok? Did he hurt you?”
“What? Ah no. He didn’t hurt me.”
“Why are you lying to me Abby?”
She remained shocked. Unfortunately, for her, she didn’t manage to hide a bruise on her face. And wasn’t the only lie she has ever told me. I got up from my chair, and squatting near her. She looked at me lost and shocked.
“This Abby, gives you away.” I said, touching her bruise gentle. She puts quickly her hand trying to hide the bruise. I got up from her and took back my seat on the chair, same as I was before, impassible.
“And it’s not the only lie Abby.”
“What…what do you mean by that?”
“Simple. I talked with my teacher, Mr. Bines, and he told me the truth. First Abby, when we finished here and collected all the information about our subject, and we have 20 pages of our project, then we can return home. But you lied, telling me a bunch of craps that I have to stay here a bloody month. My question is; why?”
“And it’s not the only lie. Is one more, and has the same answer as the first one.”
I looked at her amazed.
“And that is?”
„When you tried to run away, when I stopped you. The next day after you came here. I lied. You wouldn’t possible ruin me, only yourself. I could continue alone the project.”
I remained speechless, but I tried so hard to keep my calm and of course the careless mood. Abby was with her eyes on the floor, but she raised them up on me, with them swimming in tears.
“The answer to the both lies is: I didn’t want you to go! I didn’t want to be alone here.”
“You are so selfish”
“Is not about selfish
ness Damian, only that I care about you, I just wanted for us to spend at least a month together.”
I didn’t said a word, just sighting.
“Abby…I want to be alone.”
She complied and got up, heading to the door.
“Abby” I said, making her turn around to me, pretty fast.
“I love you.”
She just stood still, not knowing what to say.
“Me too.”
“What?”
“Bye Damian.”
How I had expected, she left leaving me again with a sorrow in my soul. And her…but she didn’t want to say that words, fearing Laurence. Not because he can harm her, but because she loves him. Even then I couldn’t understood what was going on between them, seemed to be that Abby burned herself for the first time ever, meeting Alex. I warned her about this, but in the end, why should she listen to me? She cares about our friendship and not…
I got up from the chair and went softly in the balcony, watching the beautiful sea. Even if is paradise here, I couldn’t stay two weeks more, just for Abby’s sake. Why should I make her this favor, considering that she was hiding the truth from me and she didn’t care less if I had problems. Therefore, no thank you. Better for me. I was just to scare of suffering again, to dream her at night or to take my mind off her being with Laurence in the moments when I couldn’t resist missing her. A girl, no matter how perfect she may look, it is better to see the reality. And that I was trying to do, to see beyond the appearance of the situation where I was in. The evening came slowly, and Abby didn’t came to my door. I thought automatically that she was with Laurence. I took a seat on the bed and on a piece of white paper I started to write. Anyway I wrote down my sorrow, which my mother advice me to do, but I wonder how much she could care about this?
I was writing without stopping, spreading words on that paper, thoughts that tortured me all this time, imagining Abby in my face, revealing to her even my little feeling for her. I smiled while I was writing, because was somehow ridiculous, meaning that even so I don’t had the courage to catch her and say every thing, I preferred to shut up and to hide myself or to make a scene, typical me. Somehow was a quietism, writing that note, I was like myself transposing on the white paper. I signed at the end and I got up, walking slowly in my room with the paper in my hand, reading repeatedly to make shore that I wrote everything I had to and of course correct. I did not want to leave her the paper with mistakes, to remain for her a hilarious memory. I raked about for an envelope, in one of the drawers. I write on it legible ”For Abigail Woods” and after that, I made a smile face right next. It’s much funnier when childish outside seemed, but then again the essence can destroy her or who knows, to not wake her up nothing, to laugh inside, how fool I was. But I didn’t care. After all, why should I?
I went into the balcony to watch again the enchanting sea, which charmed me even from the beginning. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I was so sorry but I had to do it, for my sake, for hers as well. I opened my eyes saying:
“You were the only thing from here that alleviated me. You were my dear friend and hugged me when I was sad.”