“I'm sure he loves you, but he loves the drugs more,” the nurse said as she handed me an invoice. I looked down to see that Raymond had racked up a hospital bill of over $3,000.
CHAPTER 16
BOREDOM BECOMES ME
Todd was out of town for the weekend at a lawyers’ conference so I was flying solo for the first time in our relationship. It felt weird, because ever since we’d started dating we had never been apart, especially after we became roomies, but I figured I could use a little “me” time.
I decided to relax, throw on some Miles Davis, take a long bath, and maybe even pamper myself with a mani/pedi and a hydrating facial mask. Work was beginning to stress me out and I needed some de-stressing right about then, and since sex was out of the question, I thought I’d better break out the Kai Edwards night spa.
My bath water was running when I heard the phone ring. Not really in the mood to talk, I grabbed it thinking that it was probably Todd wanting to say goodnight before he jumped in bed – but to my surprise it was Alana.
"Hey you, what are you doing?" Alana's voice was relaxed and sexy, as if she were having a spa night of her own.
"Just about to run a bath and jump in," I said.
"That sounds relaxing," Alana said.
"Yeah, it's been a long week."
"So what's up after your bath?" Alana asked with a twinge of anticipation in her voice.
"Manicure, pedicure, maybe a cleansing hydrating mask," I said.
"So I take it you’re in for the night?"
"Yeah, girl, I think I am," I replied.
"You up for some company?" Alana inquired.
Honestly, I wasn't in the mood for company, but Alana was different; there was something about her energy that made her visits fun and comfortable.
"Where's Riley?" I inquired.
"My mom took her for the weekend, so like you, I'm flying solo. I figured we could have a girls’ night in. I can bring drinks and a movie."
All of a sudden my night of pampering sounded boring and spending it with Alana seemed more intriguing.
"What the hell, come on over, I can order us some sushi, and it should be here by the time you arrive," I said.
"Great, then I will see you in like an hour?" Alana shot back.
“Sounds like a plan,” I said as I hung up the phone, still thinking that I should take a bath – I mean, come on, the bath water was already filled. No use in wasting my fifteen-dollar bath beads that were slowly dissolving and filling the room with a delicious and invigorating scent.
Alana arrived an hour later, on the dot. I ordered enough sushi for five, but that's just how I did it, since my eyes had always been bigger than my stomach and I loved variety. Alana brought over the ingredients for our drink of the night: a can of frozen pink lemonade, a bottle of Sprite, a small bottle of vodka, and whipped cream. Blend that up in a blender and you have an amazing drink called Pink Panties.
I was putting the food out as Alana started making the drinks. She was wearing a pair of Lucky jeans and a white V-neck T-shirt that she’d accessorized with a chunky pink and turquoise necklace and oversized rings. Flip-flops were her shoes of choice, mainly because on photo shoots I had her in three- or four-inch heels most of the time.
Alana had always been a beautiful girl to me, but something was different about her tonight. Something made her seem more, well, appealing. I found myself staring at her while she measured just the right amount of vodka; I couldn't believe what great friends we had become. I thought back to why I pulled her into my life, which was to keep her closer to me and off Todd's radar. My insecurities always got the best of me, and I hated it, but that was who I was. All in all, I believed that everything happens for a reason, and for Alana and I to have become so close, so quickly, and have so much in common, it seemed like it was just meant to be.
"What?" Alana asked me, looking up.
“Huh?” I was quickly snapped out of my trance by the sound of her voice.
"Why are you staring at me, am I doing something wrong with the drinks?" Alana asked.
"Oh, um no, not at all, I was just thinking," I said quickly.
"About?" Alana asked as she turned back towards the blender to continue measuring and pouring the ingredients for our drinks.
"Just that I'm glad you came over tonight, that's all."
"Oh, no problem, besides, I didn't have a date tonight,” Alana laughed.
“Oh, I see, you’re just using me because your ass is dateless.”
“That’s not true. I wouldn’t do that,” Alana said.
“Sure you would,” I joked back.
“Okay, maybe.”
We laughed again.
"What happened to Derrick? I thought you two were doing good."
"‘Were’ is the key word.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“That brother was just too damn cheap, and to me, that is a huge turn off. Now don't get me wrong, he can work a sista out in the bedroom, but a cheap brother is just unattractive."
"Oh, I understand, that's one thing I love about Todd; he's never been cheap.”
Alana stopped and turned to me.
"With you!” Alana exclaimed.
“Me?”
“In college Todd was the cheapest brother on campus.”
“Are you serious?” I asked.
“One time I was so broke and Todd was the only one who had a job. So one night he went to Popeye's and ordered a three-piece dinner, came home and ate it right in front of me – and wouldn't even share."
"Not even a chicken wing?"
"Nada, so like I said, he isn't cheap with you, and honestly, you're the first girl I've seen him like that with,” Alana said.
"Really?"
"Yep."
I listened to Alana talk about her memories with Todd and I had to admit, it did make me jealous – because she had history with a man that I truly loved, a man that I wanted to have history with, a man that I wanted to tell stories about.
***
By 10:30pm we were full, content, and close to tipsy. Those damn Pink Panties had a way of creeping up on us. Alana brought over the movie Kissing Jessica Stein. I had never seen the movie but had heard all about it. Basically, it was about a straight woman who couldn't find love with the opposite sex so she found it with the same sex. Alana clicked off the TV.
"So what did you think of the movie?" Alana asked as she turned towards me, crossing her legs Indian-style on the opposite end of the couch.
"I liked it,” I said.
“What did you like most about it?" Alana asked.
"Well, I liked how the movie didn't really portray her as gay, but as a woman looking for companionship, not really caring what the sex was; basically she was just open,” I said.
"Yeah, I liked that too. So did you see that movie relating to your life at all?" Alana asked.
“What?” I replied.
“Did you see any similarities to your life?” Alana repeated.
Relating to my life? Similarities? I didn't know how to take that question – how would a woman who was involved with another woman have any similarity to my life?
"I don't know what you're asking me, Alana."
Alana gave me a look, took a sip of her drink, and slowly leaned in to me.
"Have you ever kissed a woman, Kai?"
That was the last question I thought would come out of Alana's mouth. Why would she even think that I had ever kissed a woman? I'm with Todd and I don't think I give off that gay vibe.
I had to wonder, do I?
“Why would you ask me that?” I inquired, trying not to sound too freaked out.
“Because it’s the 21st century, and there are tons of women out there who fantasize about kissing a woman; so I was just wondering if you were one of them.”
“A woman who fantasizes or a woman who has done it?” I tried to clarify.
“Well, now that you broke it down, both,” Alana said.
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“Well, I think we’ve all thought about it once or twice. It’s human nature to be curious about some things.”
“So is that a ‘yes,’ Kai?”
I stared at Alana for a moment. “Yeah, I have.”
“Interesting, I never would have thought that.”
“Thought what?”
“That you had ‘those’ thoughts.”
“It’s not like I think about it all the time, but it has crossed my mind – maybe once.”
I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable with this conversation, not really knowing where Alana was trying to take it. I needed to do a bit of shifting. "Well, have you?" I asked, trying to throw the question back in her lap to see how she liked it.
“Have I what?”
“Have you thought about kissing a woman?” I asked.
"I’ve not only thought about it; I’ve been intimate with a woman," Alana answered, as if it were a no brainier.
"Really?" I replied, shocked.
The night had suddenly taken a turn in a direction that I never would have thought possible. Alana had opened up Pandora’s Box and at that moment I wanted to know more, much more.
“When did this happen?” I asked.
"About five years ago, I was on the road with a local modeling troupe out of Nebraska. Her name was Tiffany, and she was sexy as hell.”
“How did it happen?” I asked, hoping Alana would continue, hoping she didn’t pick up the anticipation in my voice.
Alana sat back into the couch, took a sip of her drink, and looked away as if trying to remember the details of her story.
“Well, we had been on tour for a few months, and I always thought she was very attractive, but never thought that much about it until one evening after a show, when she came to my hotel room. Now this woman exuded sex appeal like no one I had ever met, and I always felt something different about her but couldn't put my finger on it. Tiffany looked at me in a way that was different, exciting. So that night when she came into my room, I knew something was going to happen."
“Like what?”
“Like more than talking about tomorrow’s fashion show.”
I couldn't believe what I was hearing; Alana had been intimate with another woman? I wondered if Todd knew this, and if so, why the hell he hadn’t told me.
"So what happened next?" I asked as if on the edge of my seat, as if I had just dropped $12.95 to see the next blockbuster hit. My excitement about the subject surprised even me, and I really didn’t know why.
"That's something that I will take to my grave," Alana said as she smiled, then got up from the couch.
"What, where are you going?" I asked. I couldn't believe that Alana took me there but didn't deliver on the goods.
"We need another round of Pink Panties," Alana said as she grabbed my empty glass from the cocktail table along with her own, and headed to the kitchen.
I sat on the couch trying to imagine Alana kissing another woman; I never would have thought she would do something like that. I couldn't believe how curious I was; I really wanted to know what happened in that hotel room. I jumped up from the couch and headed to the kitchen, where Alana was blending up a new batch of drinks. I hit the off button on the blender.
“Why did you do that?” Alana asked.
“Because you can't just keep me hanging, I need to know just what happened that night between you and Tiffany."
Alana smiled, turning towards me.
"You really want to know, huh?”
"Yes. You got me all curious," I said.
Alana gave me a seductive look.
"So why do you want to know so badly, Kai? Is it something that makes you excited?" Alana asked, and then stared deep into my eyes as if fishing for her own answer.
I started to feel uneasy; I didn't know why I was so interested, why I wanted to know so badly.
"Maybe," I said, not really knowing why that came out of my mouth. My heart rate was accelerating.
"Maybe, huh?" Alana asked.
"Maybe," I said again, although repetition was a sure sign of nervousness on my part.
Alana finished the drinks and poured herself a glass, then me. She walked over towards me, both glasses in hand.
"Okay, if you really want to know what happened, I'll tell you."
Alana handed me a drink. I took a quick gulp, hoping the alcohol would shoot through my body and give me the liquid courage I needed to finish this encounter. Alana took a few sips from her glass as well, then gently took my drink out of my hand and set it on the counter. Her stare was a bit more intense and direct. I didn't know what to think of it, but for some odd reason, I was wet.
"That night, when Tiffany came into my room, she told me that she was extremely attracted to me, and that from the moment she saw me, she knew she had to have me. She knew that our chemistry would be off the hook – and it was.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah, and you know what I did, Kai?
“What?”
Alana leaned in close; so close, I could smell the Pink Panties on her breath. “I kissed her like this.”
The next thing I knew Alana and I were in a serious lip lock, and I couldn't even tell you what happened between her saying ‘like this’ and finding us in a sensual, passionate kiss that felt like it lasted for hours. In that moment, I was having an out-of-body experience.
Alana pulled away and just stared deeply into my eyes, not missing a beat.
"That night, Tiffany and I shared what was the most amazing kiss ever, although I think our kiss was just as amazing. What do you think?”
I was speechless, not knowing what to say, but knowing I wanted more. I found myself frozen in time, trying to piece together the steps that led up to that kiss, that unexpected but passionate kiss.
Alana kept her eyes locked on me as she slowly put her hand on the small of my back and pulled me in close to her. Our bodies touched as our lips connected and a small warm feeling filled my body. Alana’s lips were soft and sensual, and I tasted all of what she was offering me with her tongue. Alana then leaned her body against mine as we fell back against the wall. I felt her hand move down my stomach, past my belt and right in between my legs. I let out a moan of passion as we continued to exchange a deep intimate kiss and Alana massaged that part of me that made me weak. In that moment nothing else mattered, nothing but my connection with Alana.
The phone rang, shattering our moment. I pulled away as I looked at the console; it was Todd.
“Shit!” I quickly grabbed the phone as a surge of guilt raced through my entire body. "Hey, baby," I said as I looked over at Alana. She gave me a smile, picked up her drink, and headed back to the living room.
"Hey beautiful, what are you doing?" Todd asked.
A question that was usually answered with great ease now gave me some difficulty.
"Nothing really, just watching a movie," I said. I couldn't believe how that lie just rolled off my tongue, although technically I was watching a movie earlier. Todd knew that I hung out with Alana, but for some reason that night I felt that he would read more into it, rightly so.
"Cool, what movie?" Todd asked.
Another trick question. I swallowed hard, searching for a movie, but my mind was coming up blank.
"Thomas Crown Affair,” I said, cringing as I voiced the word “affair.”
“Again? Baby, you’re obsessed with that movie. How many times have you seen it?” Todd asked.
“Too many times,” I said as I laughed with him. “So what are you doing up so late?” I was trying to take the focus off of me.
"Just got back from my meeting and I’m beat. I can't wait to get in bed."
"Well, then, you should go to bed, and I will call you in the morning," I said.
“Are you okay? You sound a little weird," Todd said.
"I’m fine, just kind of tired too; y’know?"
"Okay, well I'm going to hit the sack. Call you tomorrow?" Todd asked.
"S
ounds good."
"Love you," Todd said.
"I love you, too."
I hung up the phone, took a deep breath, grabbed my drink, and headed back to the living room. Alana was lying on the couch. Her look was different, seductive. I knew at that moment that I had to regroup. "I, um, I have to go to the bathroom."
“Are you okay?” Alana asked as she sat up.
“I'm good,” I said as I headed to the bathroom.
I sat there in the bathroom, not knowing what to think of what had just happened, what to think of Alana, what to think of myself.
Twenty minutes later Alana knocked on the door. “You okay, Kai? You've been in there for a while.”
“I um, I think I drank a little too much. Maybe we better call it a night.”
“You sure?” Alana asked.
“Positive. I'll give you a call tomorrow,” I shouted through the door.
There was silence on the other side, then, “Okay, well, I'll just let myself out.”
“Okay,” I said quickly.
I then heard footsteps and, finally, my front door opening and closing. I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that Alana was gone.
CHAPTER 17
UNWANTED COMPANY
Simone and I were on a tight deadline for our campaign and I couldn’t concentrate. All I could think about was what had happened the previous night with Alana. Todd would be home from the conference tonight and I couldn’t get it out of my mind that I kissed his best friend – and that it felt good. My past thoughts about being with a woman were just that, thoughts; never once did I anticipate acting upon them.
Then again, I had never been in a situation where I was so tempted, either.
I was deep in thought when a knock at my door brought me back to the present. I looked up and there stood Alana. I hated that she was here; I wasn’t ready to see her yet. Of course, I had to remind myself that, since I hired her, I was the reason that she was here.