Alana looked even more beautiful than the last time I’d seen her. Her make-up and her hair were perfect. She was looking exceptionally tempting in a white sundress, which accented her figure perfectly.
I looked at my desktop and instinctively jumped into professional mode. I wasn’t ready to deal with last night, especially not at the office.
"Hey, I'm glad you stopped by,” I said quickly. I stood grabbing the call sheet and taking a few steps towards her, “I wanted to brief you on your shoot today. It’s with Sol magazine so I need you there by one and make sure you…“
Alana closed the door behind her and walked over next to me. "I can't stop thinking about you," she said, cutting me off.
Her words had always had a way of stopping me cold in my tracks. Since when did she have his effect? I tried to ignore her.
"Did you hear me, Kai?” she asked as she stood in front of me. “I can't stop thinking about you."
"Alana, I can’t do this,” I said as I looked up at her.
“Do what?”
“This – us, what happened last night – it’s insane,” I said. “I have a boyfriend; so whatever this was, it has got to stop and it has to stop now. Do you understand?”
“So you’re saying you didn’t enjoy last night?” she asked as she moved closer to me.
“I’m, I’m not saying that; I’m just saying that this isn’t right.”
Alana and I held a stare, and then something happened; an irresistible magnetic force came over me when Alana pulled me into her, and we kissed passionately. My heart was racing and I was lost – again.
My intercom buzzed and I quickly jumped three feet back. My secretary informed me that Todd was here.
“Here?” I said quickly, confirming the unexpected message.
“Yes, here,” my secretary repeated. Before I had a chance to respond again, Todd was entering my office. Thank God for secretaries.
“Hey, baby!” Todd’s voice sent a surge of lightning through my whole being.
“Hey, hey, baby, what are you doing here? I thought your flight didn’t get in until tonight,” I said a bit nervously as I made my way toward him.
I felt my nose, neck, and forehead breaking out in a cold sweat. I swallowed hard as I gave him a convincing welcome home kiss.
“The conference ended early, and I wanted to get home.”
“Wow, well, that’s great,” I said as I cleared my throat.
“Are you okay? You look a bit flushed,” Todd said, staring at me.
“No, I’m good, just under a bit of stress from this project,” I said.
“How about I take you to lunch at your favorite spot?”
“Wow, baby, that’s sweet of you. What brought this on?” I asked, not knowing what else to say, but knowing it was because he missed me.
“I don’t know; maybe I just missed you,” Todd said in his sweetest voice.
Todd kissed me on the cheek, and the guilt I felt earlier quickly intensified tenfold.
“Hello, Mr. Daniels,” Alana said, interrupting our moment.
Todd looked around me to see Alana sitting on my office sofa, and stepped to the side to greet her. “Hey you,” Todd said.
Right then, in that moment, I couldn’t help but feel that familiar feeling of jealousy rearing its ugly head again.
“Hello again, Mr. Daniels,” Alana sang out.
“What are you doing here? Oh that’s right, you work here now; you’re a suuuupermodel,” Todd said playfully.
“Hey, don’t hate,” Alana shot back. “Appreciate the beauty that stands before you.”
“Oh, I’m not hating, and I’m certainly not appreciating either,” Todd continued jokingly.
“Whatever, Todd,” Alana said as she walked over to us, bypassing me to give Todd a welcome home hug.
“Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t we all go to lunch?” Todd suggested.
“Perfect, I’m starving,” Alana said as she shot me a quick wink.
I bit my bottom lip, and then, with a convincing smile, said, “Sure, that works for me.”
As I watched Todd and Alana interact, my guilt from the night before slowly started to dissipate. I couldn’t believe that I was still jealous of their friendship, their relationship. Only now my jealously ran both ways.
CHAPTER 18
BREAKFAST IN BED
It was 6 am in the morning and I was up making eggs, waffles, turkey bacon, and coffee. I couldn’t sleep; I had a lot on my mind. So as a distraction, I decided to surprise Todd with breakfast in bed. I figured since I did kiss his best friend that I would shower him with affection to help subdue my guilt and make things right again. So I turned on some cool jazz and Martha Stewart’ed my way around the kitchen.
I was in the middle of scrambling four eggs with mushrooms, green peppers, and cheese when the phone rang. I couldn’t imagine who would be calling me so early on a Sunday. I glanced at the caller ID to see my parents’ number and knew immediately it was my mother.
“Hello, darling,” my mom sang into the phone.
“Morning, Corrine; what are you doing up so early?” I asked.
My mother hated when I called her by her first name, which I did from time to time. I always told her it was her own fault for sending me to those Montessori schools where the teachers insisted that we call them by their first names, so I figured it was okay with my mother as well.
“Sweetheart, I wanted to call you to let you know that I am having a dinner party next Saturday, and I’d like it if you would bring your new boyfriend. What’s his name again?”
“Todd,” I said.
“Say again?”
“Todd,” I said again.
“Spell that, honey.”
“Todd, T-o-d-d, Todd.”
“Oh, Todd, I got it,” my mother said.
I didn’t know if Corrine was developing a hearing problem or if all her years of teaching Montessori school had made her extra anal-retentive
I told my mom that Todd and I would be there on Saturday. I hung up the phone and thought to myself that I knew the day would come when I would have to introduce Todd to my family, and, since I was shacking up with this man, it was high time they all got to see what I was working with. I continued to cook, and my cell phone went off. I glanced at the message from Alana: Are you available for drinks tonight?
I quickly texted her back and let her know that I had plans. I sat my phone down and continued to cook when it went off yet again. Another text from Alana: Can I come?
One thing I had learned about Alana was that she was not shy about inviting herself anywhere, at any time. I knew what Alana was doing, and I couldn’t let her get the best of me. I didn’t feel right about what had gone down and the longer I avoided her the better the chance that my guilt would fade away. I quickly texted her back: Sorry, business meeting, call you later.
Still feeling guilty, I finished my breakfast preparation by 7:30pm. I continued to meticulously place my scrumptious creation on a silver-serving tray, complete with the Chicago Tribune, and carefully balanced it as I slowly walked to the bedroom. Todd was still asleep. I set the tray down next to the bed and slid in next to him. His body was warm and soft and I loved the way he smelled in the morning. I didn’t want the breakfast to get cold, but I also didn’t want to deliberately wake Todd up. So I did it on the sly – with my cold feet. I slowly slid my icy cold feet over to meet his legs and, sure enough, the brother popped up like a corn kernel in a hot pan.
“Morning, baby,” I said in a soft, sweet voice.
“Baby, your feet are cold as hell.”
“That’s because I’ve been up making you breakfast in bed.”
Todd looked at me, then slowly sat up and looked over at the dresser to see – sure enough – breakfast in bed.
“Wow, thanks baby! What did I do to deserve all this?” Todd asked.
I wanted to say, “Nothing, just me kissing Alana and feeling guilty about it.”
“Can’t a girl show her man just how much she adores him?” I inquired between kisses, as I covered Todd’s neck then slowly made my way down his bare, caramel chest. I looked up at him, and he was all smiles.
“Damn, Skippy, you can. I like how you think.”
I continued to kiss his chest as I headed all the way down to please him.
“I bet you do,” I said as I went to work on my man.
In that moment, my guilt was gone.
CHAPTER 19
FIRE AND DESIRE
I was relaxing on the couch in our apartment. It was half past nine and Todd was working in his back office. My mind drifted to that sensual close encounter with Alana in my office when Todd walked in. How could I have explained the serious lip lock with his best friend, the woman I supposedly could do without in our lives?
I was drifting in and out of sleep when my cell phone buzzed. I quickly grabbed it to read my new message from Simone: don’t forget your boards for Monday morning’s meeting. I texted her back: Of course not, and threw my phone back down on the table. A few seconds later it went off again; Simone was notorious for blowing me up at night with her last-minute thoughts, or as she liked to say, “bursts of inspiration.” I sighed and grabbed my phone again, but this time it wasn’t Simone, it was Alana. I sat up as I read her message: Can I see you tonight? Are you done with your business meeting?
Since my business meeting was just an excuse to avoid Alana in the first place, I was pretty much available, but I texted her back: Finished early but really tired. Think I’m gonna just go to bed.
For a few days, I had successfully avoided Alana, hoping that I could casually sweep our experience under the rug, along with the conflicted feelings I felt for her. Unfortunately, with each passing day my feelings for Alana or the guilt of my actions would not dissipate. I wanted to see her, but I knew in my mind that I shouldn’t; I couldn’t.
My cell phone went off again. My heart began to race; I felt trapped. This was unfamiliar territory for me as I always have a solution to problems confronting me. I didn’t know what the fuck to do at that moment. I hastily grabbed my phone, took a deep breath, and read Alana’s message: I’m at the W hotel; meet me for a drink. I just want to talk.
I stood and began to pace back and forth in the living room, thinking about what I could say to Todd to explain why I was leaving the house at 9:30pm on a Friday night, even though I had not told him that I had any plans. Unable to think of a good excuse, I started typing back to Alana: I can’t leave tonight, and Todd is still up. I stared at my message, and then erased it. I wanted to go, but I knew it was for all the wrong reasons. My mind began to play devil’s advocate, telling me to just go meet her for a drink; it wasn’t that big of a deal.
Before I had a chance to text Alana back, she texted me again: Kai, don’t think, just come. It was almost like she was reading my mind, and she was right; I was thinking way too much about the situation. I stared at her message and quickly typed back: I’m on my way. I was excited to see her.
Then reality hit, and hit hard. What would I tell Todd?
I slowly walked toward his office and gently knocked on the half-open door. He looked up from his computer.
“Hey,” he said softly.
“Hey.”
“What’s up? You going to bed already?” he asked.
“No, my brother just called me. He really needs to talk so I’m going to go meet him.”
There it was, a complete bald-faced lie in a very convincing tone. I hated lying to Todd, but I didn’t know what else to do. I wanted to see Alana.
“Okay. How is he doing anyway?” Todd inquired.
“He’s okay; you know. Just taking one day at a time,” I said.
“Tell him I said to keep his head up,” Todd said.
“I will. You sure you don’t mind me going?” I asked, feeling my guilt rise with each syllable that escaped from my mouth.
“Baby, it’s cool. Your brother needs you; so go, and I still have a few hours of work to do here,” Todd said as he started shuffling the papers on his desk.
“Okay, so I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I said.
“Take your time,” Todd replied.
“Thanks.”
With that, I turned to leave, feeling a sense of relief, excitement and guilt. Then Todd said something that jilted the shit out of me. “Where are you meeting him?”
“Huh?”
“Where does your brother want you to meet him?” Todd asked again.
I was speechless since I didn’t expect Todd to ask me any specifics. I turned slowly back towards him, simultaneously thinking of another lie to tell.
“This, um, café over on Dearborn,” I quickly said, thanking the Lord Jesus that I didn’t stutter too much.
“Oh, okay. Well, be careful; make sure you take a cab. I don’t want you walking this time of night.”
“I will, baby,” I said as I turned and walked back down the hallway towards the front door.
As I grabbed my coat, I couldn’t believe that I just lied to my man to go see a woman who I couldn’t stop thinking about – a woman who was his best friend.
***
I arrived at the “W” hotel around 10pm and walked into the lounge off the main lobby. My eyes immediately found Alana sitting alone at the bar. I felt nervous and excited all at once. I took a deep breath and headed over to where she was sitting. I always loved the W hotel. It had a quaint and very sexy ambiance, and tonight it was all that and more. The lounge was seductively and dimly lit with soft candlelight. Smooth jazz melodiously filled the room. It was a slow night but not dead. An eclectic mix of people, business and social, filled the room sipping cocktails and engaging in pleasant conversation.
Alana sat at the bar sipping on an apple martini. She looked great. She was wearing a white skirt with a matching white tank top subtly accentuating her cleavage. Her hair was down and naturally curly.
“Hey, you,” I said as I slid into the bar stool next to her.
“You made it!” Alana said with a broad smile on her face. She leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek. “Thanks for coming!”
I couldn’t help thinking how beautiful and sexy this woman was, and it was blowing my mind, because, ever since we kissed, she seemed even more beautiful and sensual than before.
“Can I buy you a drink?” Alana offered as she waved the bartender down.
“Sure, I’ll take a white wine, thanks,” I said as I tried to make myself comfortable.
“Coming right up.” Alana ordered my wine then turned her bar stool and all her attention towards me.
“So I take it you’ve been busy, since I haven’t heard from you in a few days,” Alana said, as she looked me up and down with a seductive grin.
“Yeah, well about that, Alana,” I said as I adjusted myself in my seat. I felt uncomfortable, as if just meeting her for the first time. “I guess I’ve been trying to deal with what happened, it really threw me for a loop, y’know?”
“Yeah, I figured as much, which brings me to the reason I asked you here tonight.”
Alana turned and took a sip of her drink. Maybe she was just as nervous as I was, but she did not look it at all.
“Kai, I wanted to apologize for kissing you. I get caught up sometimes, and, well, I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. It won’t happen again.”
I felt instantly deflated upon hearing Alana’s words. I guess I hadn’t expected her to throw in the towel so quickly. Truth be told; I wanted to kiss her again.
My attraction to Alana was real and even though I knew it was wrong, I couldn’t deny it. Even worse, I couldn’t bring myself to say what I was feeling, so I took another gulp of my wine, but as I placed my glass back on the bar, Alana placed her hand on my thigh.
“Unless, of course, you’re not okay with that, Kai,” Alana said as she gave me a look, a look that told me that she knew I wasn’t.
My body immediately tens
ed up, and I couldn’t speak. My words were stuck between my thoughts and my mouth. Alana smiled then leaned in close to me. “Can I tell you a secret, Kai?”
“Sure,” I said, hesitantly.
“I have been attracted to you since the first day I met you. Remember? At the opening of Todd’s firm?” Alana asked as she slid her hand slowly up my thigh.
I took a deep breath, breathing in all of her sensuality in that moment.
“You are so sexy to me and I admire your ambition, creativity and drive,” Alana said as her hand continued up my thigh.
I felt my body temperature rising with each syllable she spoke. I wanted to kiss Alana so badly it was insane. I reached out and put my hand on top of her hand. Alana looked deep in my eyes again.
“I have a room upstairs.”
“You do?” I said in a soft, almost muted voice.
“Do you want to come up?” Alana asked. She continued to rub my leg as she moved in to caress my inner thigh.
“I promise, no regrets,” Alana said as she gave me one last smile. I was speechless as I watched Alana quickly finish her drink, pay the bill, and stand. She gave me one last look as she turned to leave. I watched her for a few seconds as she headed out of the bar, realizing that she never waited for me to answer. I guess she knew I wanted to be with her just as bad as she wanted to be with me.
I downed the last of my wine like a 2-ounce shot before standing and quickly following Alana out the bar and up to her room.
CHAPTER 20
AN AFFAIR TO FORGET
The hotel room was dimly lit and smelled like sweet lavender. I sat nervously on the edge of the California king bed as Alana finished up in the bathroom. I ran my hand across the embroidered bedspread, taking in my surroundings as my mind raced.