“Boys or girls?”
“Don’t care.”
I didn’t either. I didn’t care. I didn’t care at all.
My vision went blurry as my mind filled with Hawk holding our child and feeding it a bottle.
Then my belly got squishy.
Then I felt his knuckles glide down my cheek and I refocused when he said quietly, “I’d be happy with one, Gwen.”
“Only children can get spoiled. You have to have at least two. Siblings are important. And if we start with two boys, we have to have a girl because brothers should have a sister. But if we start with two girls, we have to go for a boy because sisters should have a brother. I always wanted a brother. A son of my father would have been able to beat the shit out of boyfriends that broke my heart. I wouldn’t have had to resort to cookie dough and it would have saved Scott a lot of money in divorce attorneys, seeing as he’d still be in a coma.”
I stopped talking and felt it. The air in the Camaro had turned electric.
“You sayin’ that for me or do you want kids?” he asked.
“Both,” I answered.
Suddenly my seatbelt was undone and zipped back so fast I cried out in surprise. Then Hawk’s did. Then I was plucked right out of my seat and wedged between him and the steering wheel, my ass in his lap, his hand in my hair, his other arm around me and his mouth hot and heavy on mine delivering a very wet, very heated kiss that included some hand action when his started to roam.
He released my mouth but kept me wedged and I blinked as he spoke.
“They offer higher, I’ll accept.”
“Okay,” I breathed.
“You got a problem with me movin’ into your place?”
“No,” I replied instantly, my heart beating, my belly squishy, my mind spinning cartwheels of joy.
“All right,” he whispered.
“You sure you don’t need space anymore?”
“That kind of space means, you’re there, you need to go somewhere, anywhere you go is far away from me so, yeah, I don’t need that space anymore.”
Oh my God.
I knew what he was saying. I knew what he meant and I lifted my hand to his jaw.
“You’re in deep with me, aren’t you, baby?” I whispered my question just to confirm.
“Drowning,” he whispered back.
Oh my God. He felt the same as me!
“I love you, Cabe.”
The minute I said it, he curled me into him so we were pressed together and his face was in my neck.
“Love you too, Sweet Pea.”
He loved me.
Thank God, he loved me.
I relaxed against him but slid my hand from his jaw to the back of his neck.
“Yay,” I whispered in his ear and felt him smile against my neck.
Then he kissed me there, his head moved slightly, his tongue touched the skin behind my ear then his head moved again and he kissed my lips lightly, once, twice, again before he nipped my lip and then unwedged me and deposited me in my seat.
He rebuckled, I followed suit and then I took a moment to feel my joy.
Then I grabbed my clutch from the floor, opened the clip, pulled out my lip gloss and flipped down the visor, muttering, “Twice tonight you’ve ruined my lip gloss and we’re not even at the restaurant.”
He pulled into traffic muttering back, “Babe.”
* * * * *
Meredith celebrated her and Dad’s anniversary like it was a national holiday. She didn’t focus on the special ones, she had a party every year.
When I was a kid, and money wasn’t as plentiful, if the anniversary fell on a weekday, Meredith took the day off to cook and had friends and family over for a huge, buffet extravaganza. After Ginger and I left the house and things got more comfortable, these celebrations moved to a variety of locales in Denver.
Tonight’s was at McCormick’s Fish House and Bar at the Oxford Hotel. Fantastic seafood and steaks, elegant but still Old West Denver atmosphere, great bar and just a short walk away was Oxford’s Cruise Room, arguably the coolest bar in Denver due to its art deco décor and the talent the bartenders had with a martini shaker.
Hawk and I walked, arms around each other, into the private room and saw the gang was all there.
Since Meredith adopted all my friends, Tracy was in attendance although I didn’t see one of her jerky boyfriends with her. I couldn’t spy Cam and Leo but I knew they had to be there somewhere. Elvira was also there. And so were Gus and Maria, Jury, with a lush, gorgeous Mexican-American woman wearing a fabulous red and black dress and Von and his wife Lucia.
And I saw straight away Troy and his whiny girlfriend, Hanna were there.
The past four months had not been good between Troy and I. He was not pleased that Hawk and I became us again and he told me so, giving dire warnings that if it happened once, it would happen again. I figured Troy was just trying to be a friend, he and I were solid deep down and he’d get over this.
He hadn’t.
We saw each other, mostly him coming over. But, when he came over once and Hawk was there, he left immediately and made no bones about why he was doing it. From that point on, he called before coming to be certain Hawk wasn’t there or intending to be there. I gave him these assurances, even though this annoyed me. Sure, what Hawk said to him was harsh but weeks were sliding into months, Troy had to see Hawk was making me happy and if he gave Hawk a chance, like everyone else was, he’d see Hawk was a good guy. And, bottom line, if he was a true friend, he’d get over it, for me.
I mean, I put up with Hanna with not a word and she was whiny and annoying and I wasn’t the only one who thought so.
Unfortunately during one of the times I assured him Hawk wasn’t coming over, Hawk had surprised me by showing. Even after Troy had just opened a beer, he left it unsipped, glared at Hawk, told me he’d see me later and left.
What surprised me about this was more than Troy’s behavior. It was Hawk’s. Hawk was like Camille. If he had something to say, he’d say it. He was straight and could be gentle, but he didn’t hesitate communicating what was on his mind. But he left me to deal with Troy without a word or comment. I thought this said a lot, mostly that Hawk knew Troy meant something to me and he wasn’t going to try to sway me either way, just let it play out and he’d be there at the end. But it wouldn’t be an end where, if Troy and I sorted things out, Hawk had said something about a friend I cared about that he couldn’t take back.
“You’re wearing the Valentinos!” Tracy shrieked, half-dashing, half-dancing to us, clapping her hands, Elvira following her.
I gave her a hug and then she moved to Hawk to kiss his cheek as I gave Elvira a hug. Elvira didn’t move to Hawk to kiss his cheek, she just nodded to him, stepped back and gave me an eye sweep
“Girl, you are hot!” she declared. “That dress is hot. Those shoes are hot. And that expression on your face that says you just got you some is hot!”
I froze. Hawk chuckled and pulled me closer.
“Told you,” he whispered in my ear.
Before I could reply, Meredith and Dad approached, Gus and Maria bearing down behind them.
“Hey sweetie,” Meredith said as she got close and gave me a hug.
“Sorry we’re late,” I told her while hugging her and she stepped back but kept hold of my upper arms.
“It’s still cocktail hour. We don’t sit down for twenty minutes so you’re not late,” she smiled and turned to Hawk while Dad turned to me.
After Dad, I got hugs from Maria and Gus then everyone assumed their places in our huddle, Gus staring at me with a wicked grin on his face.
“Nice dress,” he observed, his meaning clear, I closed my eyes and Hawk chuckled again.
Moving on!
I turned to Dad and Meredith. “Can we give you your presents now?” I asked.
“Sure, honey,” Meredith replied and I opened my dark gray, satin clutch with its crystal clasp while juggling the large, manila envelope.
<
br /> I pulled out the smaller, white envelope and handed it to Dad.
“Season tickets to the Broncos,” I announced and Dad stared at me. “Forty yard line. Hawk knows someone.” That was when Dad turned his stare at Hawk. “Happy anniversary, Dad,” I finished.
“Holy fuck,” Dad muttered.
“They’re from me and Cabe,” I replied, even though Hawk knew someone, I bought the tickets. This caused a fight which I won. Hawk could spoil me but I put my foot down about spoiling Dad. It cost a whack but the simple matter of fact was; Dad was worth it.
“I don’t know what to say,” Dad whispered.
“Don’t say anything and give me another hug,” I smiled at him.
He turned his eyes to me but he didn’t smile. He lifted his hand and cupped my cheek and the expression on his face caused tears to sting my eyes. He had a daughter he could not see in protective custody and a daughter who had gone through hell because of her. That said, I was alive, breathing, wearing a fantastic dress and fabulous shoes, happy and I loved him enough to get him season tickets to the Broncos, something he’d always wanted. His eyes hit mine and I knew from the look of them that he was counting his blessings and I could see that the Broncos tickets weren’t high on that list but I definitely was.
Then he dropped his hand and shook Hawk’s, clapping him on the shoulder at the same time.
Again, moving on.
I handed Meredith the manila envelope. “That’s for you.”
Her brows drew together, Dad looked down at her and she opened the clasps on the envelope.
“It’s just a formality,” I stated, suddenly feeling nervous. “And it was Cabe’s idea. I mean, really, it happened on your wedding day when you let me walk down the aisle with you. I’m just making it official.”
She pulled out the papers and looked at me. “Making what official?”
“Those are adoption papers. If you sign them, I’m legally your daughter.”
Everyone sucked in breath but Meredith’s mouth dropped open and her eyes got big. I could usually read Meredith, heck, anyone could but I couldn’t read that. I didn’t know what to expect when I gave the papers to her but I’d daydreamed about it a lot. I knew she loved me but it was a posh, anniversary party at McCormick’s, she wasn’t going to do cartwheels, she couldn’t, not in four inch heels. But I’d hoped at least for a smile.
Therefore I rushed on. “I know, it’s kinda loopy, adopting a thirty-three year old woman but… um… why not?” I faltered when she just stared at me and I wondered if I’d insulted her. “I mean… I don’t want to imply that I haven’t always thought of you as my Mom but I just want to… I don’t know, make sure you know that, uh… that’s how I feel and it always has been.”
Meredith didn’t move nor did she speak.
“You don’t have to sign them,” I assured her. “It’s okay. Nothing between us changes. I –”
I shut up when she jerked her body toward Dad and whispered, “Find me a pen, Bax.”
She asked Dad but it was Gus who took off, Hawk’s arm curled around my neck and he pulled my front into his side as the tears filled my eyes.
Meredith looked up at me. “Now… sweetie, now I don’t know what to say.”
“Sign the papers, that says it all,” Hawk replied for me but he did it gently.
Meredith looked down at the papers and when she lifted her eyes back to me they were filled with wet.
“This is the best present I’ve ever had,” she whispered.
Tracy emitted a muted sob and I moved away from Hawk and hugged Meredith as a tear slid down my cheek.
“I’ve always loved you,” I said quietly in her ear and her arms spasmed around me. “I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.”
“Oh sweetie,” she whispered, holding on tighter so I did too.
We hugged for a long time then I pulled away and Meredith moved into Hawk and gave him a squeeze and kiss on the cheek. Then Gus showed with a pen, she signed the papers, put them in the envelope and when she handed them to me, I handed them to Hawk. He folded the envelope double and slid it into his inside jacket pocket. It was his attorney’s firm that had drawn up the papers and it would probably be Elvira who returned them to be filed.
“I need a reload,” Elvira announced and I looked at her to see her eyes were on Hawk. “And your woman has been here all of five minutes and she doesn’t have a martini glass in her hand. What? You think you can buy her twelve hundred dollar shoes and that gives you the right to slack on bein’ a gentleman?”
Tracy giggled.
But I turned, leaned into Hawk and looked up at him. “Actually, just FYI, giving me twelve hundred dollar shoes totally gives you the right to slack on drink deliveries.”
Hawk’s dimples made an appearance then disappeared when I couldn’t see them anymore because his head dropped and his lips gave me a light kiss.
Then he lifted his head and asked all around, “Anyone else?”
“Me,” Tracy put in.
“I already gave my order,” Elvira added.
“A white wine, honey, if you don’t mind,” Meredith stated.
“Cuba libre, querido,” Maria muttered.
“I’ll go with you,” Gus offered and Hawk and Gus walked away but Maria got in my space, so close, it was surprising and I looked down at her.
“My boys,” she started, “look like their father, act like their father and he gave them something else,” she paused then finished on a huge grin, “good taste.”
I stared at her a second then threw my head back and laughed.
* * * * *
Dinner was over but the party (in other words the drinking) was not.
I was sitting beside Leo but listening to Mrs. Mayhew and Erma, both hilariously tipsy, as they shared stories of Dad and Meredith’s anniversaries past with their other audience member, Elvira.
Suddenly, Leo took my hand and my head turned, my eyes going to his face to see he was gazing across the room.
My eyes followed his and my heart warmed. Cam was standing with Meredith who was holding Cam’s hand by the fingers admiring the diamond Leo had slid on earlier that night when he’d asked her to marry him.
The reason they were late.
“Lingerie parties, darlin’,” I heard Leo whisper in my ear, I smiled and turned to face him. “You promised,” he finished when he caught my eyes.
I squeezed his hand and whispered back, “You happy?”
“She is, so, yeah,” Leo answered.
That was a great freaking answer.
“Love you, babe,” I told him softly.
“Lingerie,” he replied.
“Gotcha,” I whispered on a smile.
“Gwen, can I have a moment?”
Leo and I both twisted our necks and tipped our heads back to see Troy standing there, his face set, looking unhappy.
Shit.
I nodded, squeezed Leo’s hand again and then stood. Troy moved in putting his hand to the small of my back and leading me out of the room. I searched for Hawk as I went so he’d know where I was going and who I was with but I couldn’t find him.
We made it to a hallway and I turned to Troy.
“Troy, I –”
“Just wait a second, Gwen, would you?” he asked tersely and I wondered what was on his mind and why he seemed in such a foul mood. Though it wasn’t hard to guess. Hawk was not shy with public displays of affection and this was coupled with him being an alpha male which meant PDA was liberally mixed with possessive branding moves such as curling his arm around the back of my chair while we were seated or running his hand over my ass when he saw a man’s eyes on that ass, shit like that.
Shit that I’d noticed, as the night wore on, Troy didn’t like much.
We turned a corner and both of us stopped dead on the carpet when we saw Hawk, his back to us, about eight feet down the hall. There was one female hand at his bent head, one arm tight around his back.
I sucked in a
silent, searing breath and felt my head reel as Troy’s arm curled around my waist and held tight.
Maybe a nanosecond later Hawk moved, the woman’s arms disappeared and it hit me that he’d set her away and he’d done it roughly.
“What the fuck?” he clipped, his voice so harsh, it was acid and it was a wonder the wallpaper didn’t melt off the walls.
“I –” a woman replied.
“You told me you wanted to talk about my woman and your man,” Hawk went on.
“I –” she repeated.
Hawk cut her off again. “Jesus, fuck, what’s the matter with you?”
“I –” she tried yet again and failed yet again.
“Give me one good reason not to go back into that room and tell your man you put your hands and your fuckin’ mouth on me,” Hawk demanded.
“He won’t believe you,” she got out and my body froze solid as Troy’s did the same at my side.
That voice was Troy’s whiney, annoying, grasping girlfriend, Hanna.
“You’re right,” Hawk replied. “He won’t, which, I gotta tell you, woman, sucks because he’s a good man and he could do a lot fuckin’ better than you.”
Oh God.
I had to end this for Troy and I had to do it now.
“Cabe, honey,” I called and Hawk’s body jerked around to face us. I saw his eyes were narrow, his jaw hard and his gaze slid over me to Troy.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
Hanna was staring at Troy, her eyes huge, face pale.
“Troy,” she whispered.
“I hope you have money for a cab,” Troy replied.
“Uh…” She took a step forward but I moved into Troy, turning into his side, my arms going around his middle and I pulled him a step back so she stopped. “Troy, it isn’t what –” she tried.
Troy interrupted. “Stop, Hanna, it was. Don’t add being a fucking liar to being a fucking slut.”
Hanna winced. I gave Troy a squeeze. Hawk studied Troy and when no one said anything further, his head turned to Hanna.
“I think that’s your cue to get the fuck outta here,” he prompted, she looked up at him, her pale face got whiter and she nodded.
Then she scurried toward Troy and me as I glared sharp, lethal daggers at her, none of which, unfortunately, formed and drew blood. She skirted us because neither Troy nor I moved and she hustled around the corner.