Hawk approached, his eyes on Troy and he stopped in front of us.
Then he looked down at me and asked softly, “You got this, baby?”
I nodded up at him. He lifted his chin, glanced at Troy and then walked around us on my side, his hand sliding along my hip as he did it.
See. Total alpha male possessive branding moves even when no one was around to see them!
Then Hawk disappeared.
I moved into Troy’s front, not letting him go and looked into his stony face.
“Do we need beer, tequila or a trip to the firing range?” I asked quietly and Troy’s arm around my waist gave a reflexive squeeze.
“Shit, Gwen,” he whispered.
I pressed my cheek to his shoulder and held on tighter.
“Shit,” he repeated over my head.
“Hawk’s right, honey, you can so do better than her.”
His other arm slid around me and it was his turn to hold on tight.
We held each other for awhile in silence before Troy broke it to mutter, “Maybe he isn’t a dick.”
I pressed my lips together but relaxed in his arms.
Then I lifted my cheek from his shoulder to put my lips to his ear.
“Missed you,” I whispered. “So much, Troy. So freaking much. It’s good to have you back, babe.”
Troy buried his face in my neck and I closed my eyes as I felt the heady sensation of everything in my world, everything (save my sister being in protective custody, though I focused on the word “protective” when I thought of that) turning into the absolute, most perfect daydream. Better than any daydream I could imagine and not only because it was better but also because it was real.
Then I gave Troy a squeeze, decided for him and therefore announced, “Tequila.”
Troy’s face came out of my neck, he looked at me, gave me a small, not very happy smile and whispered, “Right.”
I sighed then I turned my friend in the direction of the bar.
* * * * *
Oh God.
I was going to bring it home!
“Baby,” I whispered, my face in Hawk’s neck, my arms around his shoulders, his hands were at my hips and I was riding him hard.
His head turned so his lips were at my ear.
“Mouth,” he growled, I lifted and twisted my head instantly, my mouth going to his as a moan slid up my throat. “Harder, baby, you’re almost there.”
“Hawk,” I whimpered into his mouth as I drove myself down on him harder and both my hands went to his head.
“Cabe,” he corrected on a thick rumble. “You call me Cabe when you bring it home.”
“Cabe,” I whispered then gasped, my back and neck arching as it burned through me.
Hawk’s hand slid into my hair, fisted and tugged gently, making my back arch further and I felt his mouth close over my nipple, sucking it deep, prolonging my orgasm as new heat blistered through me. Then he released my nipple, his other hand yanked me down hard on his cock, he buried his face between my breasts and groaned.
Beautiful.
We came down and when he finished, his lips slid along the inside of my breast and he kissed me there. I put pressure on his head, it tilted back, mine tipped down and his hand in my hair guided my mouth to his where he gave me a sweet, hot, wet, delicious kiss.
When he was done, I bragged on a whisper, “I brought it home.”
I felt his mouth smile against mine. “Yeah you did, baby.”
I lifted my mouth an inch from his and slid one hand to his neck, the other to his jaw.
“Did it work for you?” I asked softly.
The dimples, already there, got deeper. “You seriously askin’ that shit?”
“Um…” I replied.
His hand in my hair brought my lips back to his and he responded, “Yeah, Gwen,” he gave me a light kiss then his head dropped and he kissed the base of my throat where he murmured, “Oh yeah.”
“Yay,” I whispered.
He ran his nose along my jaw then he pulled slightly away, his hands going to my dress which was bunched at my waist. He pulled the wisp of material up, my arms went up with it then he tossed it aside.
Normally, I would have concerns about an expensive, satin dress being tossed to the floor.
At that moment, I didn’t give a shit.
Hawk fell back, taking me with him, then he rolled me to my back, unfortunately disconnecting from me but I took that loss because I gained his heat and weight.
His mouth was at my neck and he started speaking. “Next time you wear those shoes, babe, takin’ you on your knees and you’re not takin’ ‘em off.”
I twisted my neck and his head came up so he could look at me.
“Do you like those shoes that much?”
“Like the dress more, Sweet Pea, but those shoes are hot.”
I blinked at him. I could understand the dress, it showed more skin than it covered and the parts that covered skin clung to flesh but I was shocked a badass could like Cinderella-perfect shoes.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Why are you surprised?”
“Um… they’re satin and have crystals and if the Brothers Grimm were clairvoyant and knew they would one day exist, Cinderella would have those shoes. Those are not commando shoes.”
“No, they’re commando’s woman’s shoes. The heel is high and you got great legs, babe, and the perfect ass but those shoes do the impossible and make your legs and ass even fuckin’ better.”
This was true.
Though I wouldn’t describe my ass as perfect, it made my belly squishy to hear Hawk do it.
“So,” I slid my hands down his back to wrap my arms around his waist, “you’re saying you bought me those shoes because you like them.”
“No, Sweet Pea, I bought you those shoes because when I saw you after buyin’ them, the minute you looked at me I knew it meant a lot to you. Your face was gentle.” His finger came to my temple and then slid down my hairline before his hand curled around my neck and when he spoke again, his voice was soft. “I’d do just about anything to make you look at me like that, Gwen, and I’ll keep doin’ it as long as I can surprise you and know, from that look, you like me spoilin’ you, it means somethin’ to you and I’m gonna keep doin’ it and only stop when I don’t get that in return.”
God. God. I loved this man.
“Hawk,” I whispered.
“Helped that you gave great underwear as a thank you.”
I grinned at him. Then I reminded him, “You took it right off.”
“Babe, your body in that underwear, burned on my brain. Fuck, I can still see it.”
I giggled and Hawk gave me his dimples.
“Well, this is good to know,” I informed him. “I thought you were a take it off because it gets in the way man. I’m pleased to know my efforts were appreciated.”
His head dipped and his mouth touched mine before he whispered, “Everything about you is appreciated, Gwendolyn.”
My stomach melted, my heart skipped and I felt a tingle in my throat.
“Cabe,” I whispered back then my arms left his waist and my hands went to either side of his head and I shared, “You should know, I’m living in a daydream. A real one. I’ve never been this happy. Not ever, baby, not in my whole life.” I lifted my head, slid my arms around his shoulders and kissed his jaw then said in his ear, “Thank you, Hawk.”
He rolled us to our sides, his arms closing around me, his mouth going to my ear in return and he murmured, “You’re welcome, Sweet Pea.”
I sighed into his throat.
He touched his tongue to the skin behind my ear then turned me in his arms so my back was to his front, he separated from me only to turn off the light and then curled into me, saying his nonverbal goodnight.
I made mine verbal.
“’Night, baby, love you.”
His arm gave me a squeeze and I felt his face in my hair.
“Love you too, Gwen,” he said quietly then o
rdered, “Go to sleep.”
So bossy.
But seriously, did I care?
The answer to that was a big, fat, no!
Therefore I snuggled my ass into his lap and replied, “’Kay.”
And then, about five seconds later, I did what I was told.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Deal?
I felt Hawk’s lips at my hip, they disappeared but his hand moved up, taking the covers with it and I opened my eyes to see the day had just about dawned.
I twisted my neck and saw he was bent over me in the bed, fully clothed.
“Shit to do, Sweet Pea,” he muttered, then dropped his head to give me a light kiss.
“’Kay,” I muttered back when his mouth left mine.
“See you tonight,” he went on, pulling the covers up to my shoulder.
“’Kay,” I replied, turning back, tucking my hands under my cheek and closing my eyes.
I felt him shift my hair from my neck and then his lips at my ear.
“Love you, baby,” he whispered.
“Love you too, Cabe,” I whispered back.
Then he was gone.
* * * * *
My cell chirped telling me I had a text and my eyes opened again to see the day had now fully dawned.
It was Friday. I had work; I was facing another deadline on Monday. I was close to finishing and if I hit it that day, I’d have the weekend to do whatever I wanted. And I needed to get my work done and have the weekend to do what I wanted, most of this being relaxing. Some preliminary stuff for the first of Ginger’s trials was close to starting and Meredith, Dad and I intended to be there when she was in the courthouse. This meant I needed time to be able to be there and this meant I needed a life void of stress.
Luckily, and unusually, the second part of that was already the case. I just needed to hit it to make the first part true.
I turned in bed, lifted up and reached for my phone which was sitting by my happy kitty snow globe.
Then my eyes spied the Polaroid that Hawk must have taken out of his jacket pocket and put on the nightstand.
I picked it up and looked at it. Jury’s girlfriend, Gloria had taken it last night. It was me in my fabulous dress with my infinitely more fabulous shoes sitting in Hawk’s lap, my arms around his shoulders, his arms around my waist. My head was tipped back because I was laughing hard at something Elvira had said. Hawk was laughing too but he was doing it looking at the camera.
It was a great picture and I wished it wasn’t Polaroid because I wanted to blow it up and put it over my fireplace.
I dropped the photo, a smile playing at my lips and picked up my phone. I opened the text and my body froze but as it did, heat seared through my lungs at the same time every inch of skin tingled as if encased in ice.
It was a picture text but there was a message. The message said, Trade for Ginger. The picture was tiny but I could see it and with trembling body and shaking hands, I sat up in bed and touched my screen so the photo enlarged.
Then the whimper of fear slid up my throat.
Hawk.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Hawk.
He was hanging from something. I knew this because his arms were in the frame but high over his head. It was a photo mostly of his head, tipped forward, he looked unconscious. Blood was sliding out of his ear, down his cheek, joined by blood coming from his lip and his cheekbone was red and swelling.
The phone chirped in my hand as I stared at the photo and hyperventilated and when it did, I jumped. Then I closed the photo and went to the texts.
I had a new one. It was only one word.
Deal?
I started breathing through my nose, not able to get enough oxygen in and my eyes, of their own accord, slid to the Polaroid.
Laughing, close, happy.
“You’re in deep with me, aren’t you, baby?”
“Drowning.”
Oh God.
I closed my eyes and I saw the image in the Polaroid burned on my brain.
That was what Hawk saw for eight years. I knew it then. I got it. He saw that picture he carried in his wallet burned on his brain, every time he closed his eyes, every time his guard went down, every time his control slipped. That was why he shut everything out. That was why his world was void. So he’d never lose control and see that image on his brain, the last memory, the last happiness he thought he’d ever have.
I opened my eyes and hit reply.
Then I typed in, Deal and hit send.
* * * * *
Tack was walking out one of the three big bays in the garage behind the back of Ride. He’d seen my car coming.
A miracle had happened since Hawk and I became us again, Tack and I stayed us too. Of course, this didn’t include me sleeping in his bed or letting him touch his tongue to mine but I texted him whenever I thought there was something he needed to know, mostly all things smartass, and Tack texted back, mostly all things biker guy smartass reply to cosmo girl smartass comment.
And also, Tracy and I went to a Chaos party that was a freaking hoot, so much fun, and most of the time we spent with Tack and his biker babe drinking tequila shots and eating fantastic barbeque pork sandwiches.
Hawk was okay with this because he knew I was in deep with him but mostly because he took us there and picked us up. He was also okay with this because Suarez sat in a black SUV across the street from Ride, his eyes to binoculars out his window trained on the big hog roast party which was taking place in the huge cement area behind Ride.
I got out of my car and slammed the door as Tack smiled at me.
“Peaches,” he called his greeting.
I ran to him and when I closed the distance and he got a good look at my face, his smile died.
“Talk to me, Gwen,” he ordered.
“They have Hawk, they want Ginger,” I told him.
His body went tight.
“Who?” he asked on a bark.
I pulled my purse off my shoulder and dug into it, shaking my head and saying, “I don’t know.” I pulled out my phone, found the picture text, opened it and turned it to face Tack.
His eyes dropped to my phone and a muscle worked in his cheek.
“Roarke,” he clipped.
I closed my eyes.
“Dog!” Tack barked and my eyes flew open to see his neck twisted and he was looking over his shoulder at the bays.
“Tack,” I whispered, my hand came up and I curled my fingers in his tee so his head twisted back to me. “I know that you and Hawk… you and me… I know… I…” I shook my head again. “I have to get him back.”
“What’d I say to you?” His gravelly voice rumbled deep.
I blinked. “What?”
“What’d I say to you, Gwen?”
“I… I don’t know,” I whispered.
His hand came up and curled around my neck and it did this tight just before he jerked my neck gently and his face got in mine.
“I said anything for you, Gwen, anything. That means anything. Yeah?”
My eyes filled with tears, I pressed my lips together and I nodded.
“You willin’ to give up Ginger?”
Oh God.
“Do I have to?” I asked.
“You gotta tell me what you’re willin’ to do.”
I closed my eyes and he jerked my neck gently so they shot open again.
“Peaches –”
Was I going to say it?
I was going to say it.
“Anything,” I whispered, my heart breaking.
He stared into my eyes then he nodded.
Then he let me go and ordered, “Get home. I’ll call.” I nodded but didn’t move and noticed Dog and some other bikers had surrounded us. “Now, Gwen,” Tack prompted.
I nodded again then rushed to my car.
But I didn’t go home.
Because if I was willing to trade my fucked up sister, who I still loved, for my man, I was willing to do anything.
* * * * *
r /> “Have you lost your fuckin’ mind?” Cam screeched.
My eyes jerked to the commandos who were manning their stations in Hawk’s command center outside Elvira’s office. I’d called the girls for an emergency meeting, both Cam and Tracy were off, Elvira was working so base it was even though I wasn’t sure base was the right place for me.
And I’d just told Cam what I needed.
“Keep your voice down,” Elvira ordered and I looked back at Cam.
“I need you to do it,” I whispered.
“First, babe, that info is not easy to come by and second, I pulled off that miracle and told you and the Feds lost their key witness in three big cases, I’d not only get my ass fired, I’d probably get it tossed into a jail cell,” Cam replied.
Shit. I hadn’t thought of that. Why hadn’t I thought of that? Shit.
Cam providing the intel on Ginger’s whereabouts was out.
Elvira had moved to her computer. “Let me work on this,” she mumbled.
“Work on what?” Tracy asked.
“I’ll pull together a file, talk to some boys, see what they got in places I can’t look. There isn’t much I can’t access but Hawk kept the Ginger shit and therefore the Roarke shit under heavy password. Zero access except him and Jorge. That don’t mean boys don’t know shit and Jorge disappeared this mornin’, off-line. He won’t know I’m tryin’ to hack.”
I looked back out at the commandos. It seemed a skeleton crew but it was business as usual. They didn’t know their boss was hanging unconscious somewhere, bleeding from his ear.
What did that mean, blood coming from your ear?
I shook my head to clear this thought and looked back at Elvira.
“Do it,” I ordered. “But proceed with caution and if you think they can help, you give it to them and mobilize but only if you think they won’t go commando and put Hawk in jeopardy.” Elvira nodded her answer to me but she did it looking at the computer screen and I turned to Cam. “But Lawson doesn’t know, nor Leo.”
“Babe, I love you and I know you care a lot about Hawk but you gotta let the cops in on this,” Cam warned.
“No!” I snapped. “No cops. I’m already taking enough chance with you being here. They’re probably watching me.”