I FOUND BOTH Mouse and Triven in our room. Mouse leapt onto me as I entered, her tiny arms squeezing so hard it nearly hurt. My chest released a little— at least she was safe. I hesitantly met Triven’s eyes, the shame for my behavior still fresh. But his eyes were as hard and admiring as ever. I was thankful for it. He had comforted me, held me while I fell apart. He had seen me at my worst and still there was no pity in his eyes, only strength. In that moment I understood. He didn’t pity me, he had never pitied me. Every hesitant touch, every gentle word wasn’t because I was breakable, it was because I was a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode. No, he didn’t pity me. He understood me.
Maybe better than I did myself.
Mouse flashed her hands at me when I finally pulled away. She was trying to ask me something, but I gathered her hands and shook my head to quiet her.
“Mouse, I have to ask you something, okay?” I knelt to her level.
Her wide eyes popped with trepidation, but she slowly nodded.
“You’re from The Sanctuary aren’t you?” Her brown eyes welled with tears. She shook her head violently, willing it not to be true. “Did I ever tell you I was from The Sanctuary? My mom and dad raised me there until I was about your age.”
I choked a little as I mentioned my parents, but Mouse didn’t seem to notice. Instead she shook her head slower, looking at me in a new light. I squeezed her hand as the tears broke loose and fell down her round cheeks.
“It’s okay to be scared, but you’re safe now. You’re safe here with me…with us.” I amended looking at Triven. “You escaped didn’t you?”
She nodded hesitantly this time, unwilling to admit the truth.
“We escaped too. My family and I.” I smiled encouragingly at her. I needed her to tell me the truth.
She signed to me again. Mother. Father. Then pointed at my chest with her eyebrows raised.
I struggled with the words. “They helped me escape, but they’re not here anymore. They didn’t… they’re gone now.”
Her face fell.
“Mouse, this part is very important. Do you remember how you got out?”
She stiffened, her tiny hands moving rigidly. Why?
“We need to get into The Sanctuary.”
She began backing away, shaking her head again. Her hands shook as they signed. Her one hand was flat as she pulled the other fist with her thumb out over the top toward her chin repeatedly. I didn’t know this one. My eyes turned to Triven for help.
“Danger. She’s saying danger.” Triven came to our level and gripped her frail shoulders. They were so small in his hands. “We know, Mouse. But it’s not safe here either.”
She looked apprehensively between us. And signed again. No. Run.
I took her hands in mine again.
“Mouse, I know you’re scared. I’m scared too, all of the time. But I have been running for the last six years and I can’t run anymore. Our world is falling apart. We aren’t living, not really. We are just… surviving. I want you to have a better chance at a real life than I did. But to give you that, the world we know must be destroyed. From its ashes we will build new, but I need your help. We can’t do this without you.”
I could feel Triven’s eyes on me as I spoke, but I kept my attention on Mouse.
Her eyes were still brimming with tears, but they brightened with determination now. She touched a palm to both Triven’s face and mine. Then signed once more. Triven translated for me.