to find me.
This morning was good. One of the best days I’ve had, because Hammy walked in to talk with me, my Snoopy Cap held under one arm. I’d thought he had forgotten all about me...
"Nil!" He exclaimed, looking worried. "I’m sorry I’ve taken so long. There’s been a lot of meetings lately, and one of them was about you," he handed me the Cap, which I promptly fit snug on my head. Already my cheer and hope were rising.
"I’m guessing you weren’t invited to the meeting concerning me?" I guessed, all too accurately.
He nodded.
"I am not held in high opinion by the Board of Directors. They believe my methods of actually bothering to care to be, and I quote ‘Too soft’."
"That sucks."
"Thoroughly. But tell me what happened with Peabody. We got interrupted before you could explain."
Well I’d been halfheartedly thinking up some lies to explain Peabody’s death, since I’d had six days without anything to do, but I decided in that moment to tell the truth. Hammy had gone out of his way for me, and the least I could do for him was bring him into my confidence (Actually, the least I could do for him was strangle him, steal his key and lab coat, and walk out of Atrium disguised as an undersized doctor. But I’d feel bad about it since he was so nice).
"You’d better sit down," I said to him at last. "This is going to take a while..."
Then I told him everything, my Snoopy Cap on my head all the while, giving me courage. I told him about Mousy, Derrick, The Hooded Man, the mysterious hole in the wall in my old room, everything. I saved Peabody’s murder at the hands of the Killer for last.
I don’t know if Hammy believed me at all, but he at least listened to what I said and actually seemed to think on it. That made me happy. Hammy is a really nice man and I’m glad he doesn’t listen to the Monsters.
"I need some time to think over what you’ve told me, Nil." He said once I’d concluded. Not the best response I could have hoped for, but it was enough.
"How long? This room is getting pretty boring."
"I’m... not sure. You’ve given me an awful lot to think on. I want to test some of it for myself to verify its truth."
I nodded. That was fair enough. As long as he gave me a chance, that was all I could ask for.
"Any progress getting me back to my old room?"
Hammy’s expression darkened and he shook his head.
"I’m trying, I really am Nil. But if it’s even possible, I believe it will take some little time. Perhaps what you’ve told me might help, if I can find a way to use it. But I’ve got to go. I’m ostensibly down here to check on your health and if I take too long, they might get suspicious."
He turned to leave.
"Hammy?"
He stopped but didn’t turn.
"Why? Why are you doing this for me?"
He was silent for a good half minute.
"Because I’m not a monster," he said quietly and left, closing the door gently behind him.
For the first time I have a friend on my side. He wasn’t strong, nor big, nor particularly impressive looking. He suffered from the unfortunate name of Flagham and was surrounded by hateful coworkers. But he was my friend and the first I had aside from Mousy. This has been one of the happiest days of my life.
Nil, Out!
Day 37
Since Hammy gave me my Snoopy Cap back, I have been wearing it constantly, even while sleeping. This morning I woke up after another dreamless night, to find small mushrooms sprouting from the floor all around me. I hopped out of bed to investigate, careful not to step on any of them. It then occurred to me that perhaps this room would have a host of its own strange inhabitants...
I knelt beside one of the thicker patches of mushrooms, thinking they were cute at first. Pale brown and green, slightly pointy, they reminded me of those little mushrooms you eat all the time in Chinese takeout.
I gently poked one out of curiosity and the cap that was its head swiveled slowly around to face me. And a face it was, a tiny human countenance, twisted in a bizarre expression of outrage. I screamed, thoroughly freaked out, and started stomping on the monstrous little things.
They began to shriek in high pitched voices, the noise hitting a crescendo of pure sound that rocked me on my feet. It was an eerie sort of wailing, that spoke of pain, fury, and sadness. Stopping my assault, I retreated to the safety of my little cot.
The noise lessened but did not dissipate, continuing on a much lower level that worked its way deep into my being, severely disturbing me. I shut my eyes and tried to block it out. After a while, I mostly managed to. Until I met Siegfried that is.
I first became aware of him when I heard his gentlemanly introduction beside me, as he spoke in a thick British accent. I opened my eyes to see him sitting beside me. The fact that he was an oversized slug alarmed me not at all.
He didn’t really have any hands (being a slug) so I gave him a pat in lieu of a handshake.
"Nice to meet you, Siegfried. I’m Nillium Neems. What’s up with all the little mushroom guys?"
"Don’t fret about the Mushrooms," he replied. I could hear a smile in his voice. If he had been human, I felt he would have been giving me a wry grin. "They are former patients of Atrium, who have died unwholesome deaths. Slain by the corruption that twines through this building."
I looked closer at the Mushrooms, still wailing aloud. I could see the sorrow on their faces now that I looked for it. There were an awful lot of Mushrooms...
"All of them are former patients?" I asked slowly.
Siegfried nodded, as best as a slug can nod.
"Pity and do not fear them. They mean you no harm. The Mushrooms vent their sorrow at their own miserable fates."
Well that made me sad. To think that I had been heartlessly stomping all over them a moment ago, when they already had enough troubles of their own. I got off my cot and knelt down beside them once more. Reaching out, I gently stroked one with my hand. It seemed to calm them all down a bit. That made me smile for the first time in I don’t know how many years.
Siegfried nodded at me as if in approval, like I’d passed some kind of test.
"What are the Monsters?" I asked him. "Derrick, the Hooded Man and the Killer? What is it they all want?"
The slug smiled knowingly and began the following explanation. Or at least, I think he smiled. It’s hard to read the expression on the face of a slug since they don’t really have one.
"Derrick I have never heard of, so is of little consequence. A meaningless anomaly," he began, "but the other two you mentioned are of great importance. As you have correctly guessed, Nillium Neems, the Monsters that you see wherever you go infest this place to the core. They influence the doctors and wardens, even the other patients. Of them all, there are some, such as the Hooded Man and the Killer you encountered in the hall, who lead them."
"So they’re like the chief Monsters?" I asked. "Villainous masterminds? Because the Hooded Man fits that image, he’s certainly smart enough, but the Killer seemed kind of mindless. More like a raging bull than anything else."
"They are Tormentor’s," Siegfried answered. He spoke the word tormentor not as a descriptive, but as a name. "That is what they live for, to torment and terrify others. These creatures as so gifted at the art, that they have achieved great power over the years. They are truly to be feared."
"But why do these Tormentor guys only seem to target me?" I asked. "I’ve never seen the Hooded Man go after anyone else. Jeremy saw him in the Yard, but the Hooded Man was only after me."
"Because you can see, Nillium Neems. You are not blind like the others, but see things as they truly are."
"Why is that?" I asked of him. "Do you mean I’m special in some way?"
Before Siegfried could answer, the Mushrooms began their wailing again, increasing steadily in pitch till the sheer volume made my head ring. At the point where I couldn’t t
ake it anymore, feeling my very skull would split open, the Mushrooms disappeared beneath the floor and the door opened. Dr. Sirius walked in with his measured stride, each step exactly the same as the previous one. He looked at me, keeled over on my bed, hands clasped to my ears, and frowned disdainfully.
"Get up," he said, walking over and hauling me upright. I glanced around for Siegfried but didn’t see him anywhere in sight.
"What do you want?" I quavered, still getting over the Mushroom's screaming.
Dr. Sirius didn’t even answer me, instead reaching into his pocket and bringing out a syringe. He jammed it into my arm, pumping me full of some new poison. I tried to push him off, but Sirius just shoved me to the ground.
"Aren’t you supposed to at least inform patients what you’re drugging them with?" I groaned.
"Normally," he replied, his voice as bored as ever, like someone reciting from a textbook. "But your parents long ago gave up all rights to you. You are a ward of the State, meaning that we own you and can do as we wish to you. You are also completely and dangerously insane."
"By whose standards?" I asked angrily. "Because sometimes I get the feeling that the patients aren’t the only nut jobs in this ward."
"None of our efforts," Sirius continued, ignoring me, "seem to have done much to improve your sanity over the years. In my opinion, Dr. Flagham and Dr. Higgins have been far too lenient with you. The instant that electroshock therapy failed to improve your attitude, they should have taken more drastic steps."
I stared at him in