Read No Looking Back Page 17

CHAPTER 10

  Pete rubbed his hand over his face for about the fiftieth time that day. Frustration was his constant companion now that Marla had been removed from his life. He worked day and night trying to figure out how Marla had entered the country. Unfortunately Pete was not getting as much cooperation as he had hoped from the Canadian government. Even though the United States had good relations with Canada, Pete was constantly being reminded that theirs was a socialist government and not a democracy. Because of this fact there was no point in going to supervisors or trying to sway them with public opinion because they simply didn’t care. Captain Perkins had even tried, supervisor to supervisor, and came up just as empty as Pete.

  Pete was further frustrated at not being on the ‘need to know’ list regarding Marla’s whereabouts. He desperately needed to talk to her and straighten things out. God, she must think I’m such an asshole. Why hadn’t he just come out and told her he loved her during their weekend together? This whole disaster was stretching out way longer than anyone had originally thought, and Pete was curious whether the FBI had taken Alonso Fortuna into custody.

  He made a habit of checking on things at Marla’s house and nothing new had happened. Pete had gone to the vet’s office and taken the dogs back to his house to live, even putting in a pet door so they’d feel at home. In just two more weeks their casts would come off and they’d be good as new, according to the vet. He was surprised at how much he liked these dogs and how much he enjoyed even having a dog. He’d always loved animals but had never owned one himself, mostly because living in an apartment in New York was not the best place to keep a dog. He was definitely more of a dog person than a cat person, although he couldn’t say he disliked cats, he just had no desire to have one.

  When Pete heard Captain Perkins call him from the door of her office he responded immediately, maybe there was some good news for a change. He was taken aback to see that there was another person seated in her office. Someone he didn’t recognize and hadn’t seen walk in. Captain Perkins introduced her as Dr. Stravinsky and asked Pete to have a seat. Once the captain took her seat behind the desk she began the meeting.

  “Tell me what we can do for you, Dr. Stravinsky,” Captain Perkins asked calmly.

  “Well, I’m here at the request of my patient, Marla Winters. As you know Captain, I was asked to do a complete examination on her based on her behavior over the past month.”

  “Wait. What behaviors? What’s wrong?” Pete looked accusingly at the Captain. “Why didn’t you tell me she was having problems?”

  “You’re not on the list, Jensen, and you know it.”

  “Fuck your list!” Pete said as he pointed a finger at the Captain.

  “I think you two can have this conversation without an audience, since that’s not the reason for my visit.” Both nodded in agreement.

  “Let me fill you in Mr. Jensen. Marla has been suffering from a deep depression and that has caused her to stop eating, sleep excessively and stop verbal communication. Because of these behaviors, Captain Perkins requested a complete physical, which I completed earlier this week. Marla has now requested that I meet with both of you to give you the findings.” Dr. Stravinsky watched Pete nervously bob his leg as he sat anxiously in the chair, clearly struggling to maintain control of himself.

  “And exactly what are those findings doctor?” Captain Perkins asked impatiently.

  “She’s very malnourished and from what I can tell by the way her clothes are fitting it looks as if she’s lost a good fifteen to twenty pounds. I’m also able to confirm the depression, but the biggest finding was the fact that she’s pregnant.” Dr. Stravinsky watched Pete’s reaction and was pleased when he burst out in a huge smile.

  “I’m going to be a father! That’s incredible! How does Marla feel about it? Is she happy about it? She wouldn’t get an abortion, would she?”

  “She’s thrilled and I have to say it’s given her a new lease on life. I’ve still prescribed a mild anti-depressant and, Captain Perkins, I’ve assembled a list of things I want taken care of immediately.” Dr. Stravinsky went to hand the list to Captain Perkins but Pete snatched it out of her hands before she could grab it. He immediately started looking over the list, mumbling ‘um, uh,’ and other grunts of agreement as he made his way down the list. When he was done he turned to Dr. Stravinsky.

  “How far along is she?”

  “My guess would be about two and a half to three months along. Normally I would do an ultrasound for confirmation, but I didn’t have access to an ultrasound machine that day. Once she’s out of custody her regular ob/gyn will do one.”

  “Is she all right? Does she have morning sickness? You put her on prenatal vitamins, right?” Pete was babbling off questions faster than the doctor could answer them, so she just nodded yes until he finished.

  “She’s had some morning sickness, yes, but she should be coming out of that soon. As you saw by the list of instructions she’s to have a nap every day and eat regularly. I have to say she was in much better spirits when I left than when I’d gotten there. You were right, Captain Perkins, she needed someone to talk to and we did that for almost three hours. I’d be very surprised if she didn’t follow all her instructions to the letter, she’s very excited about the baby and would never do anything to jeopardize this pregnancy. Oh, and by the way, congratulations Mr. Jensen.” Dr. Stravinsky smiled widely at Pete, finding herself hoping everything worked out well for the couple.

  “Captain Perkins may I please have a few private minutes with the doctor?” She nodded her agreement as she made her way to the door.

  Once she closed the door, Pete began to spill his concerns about Marla and their relationship, fully accepting responsibility for what he had stupidly said to Dillon.

  “I guess my question is, do you think she’ll listen to me when I try to explain what an asshole I was? Do you have any advice about how I should approach her? I can’t help but feel the longer this goes on the worse it will be.”

  “Pete I can’t divulge what Marla and I discussed, but I can tell you my overall impressions, and they are that she loves you very much but has been terribly hurt. I agree that the longer this goes on the worse it will be, but you need to look at it from her point of view too. You can expect some resistance. You’ll have to prove yourself again to her. That you’re trustworthy and dependable and that you love her and are happy about the baby. One very good sign is that no matter how hurt and angry she is at you, she still wanted me to tell you about the baby. She’s afraid she won’t get the chance and she wanted you to know. That bodes well for you.”

  “I’ve considered sending her a letter through Captain Perkins but I was afraid that was too high school type behavior. At the time I didn’t think this would be going on this long. What are your thoughts on that?”

  I think that’s a wonderful idea. Pour your heart out and tell her the truth. Try to write it as if you were talking to her in person. If you make it too stiff and formal she’ll reject the information. The worst it can do is not work, and then you’ll still be no worse off that you are today.”

  “God, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all you’ve done for Marla. It sounds like she really needed you. Baby or no baby, I can’t stand the thought of her being so unhappy. She’s everything to me, absolutely everything.” Tears rolled freely down Pete’s cheeks as he felt his burden lift the same way Marla’s probably had after her talk with Dr. Stravinsky.

  “One more question. Do you have a private practice somewhere that we could go to if we need to?” Dr. Stravinsky smiled and reached into her briefcase. She pulled out a business card with just her name and a phone number on it.

  “You can call me anytime at this number. If I don’t answer make sure you leave a message or call back, don’t give up trying to get me. I’ll be happy to help you any way I can.” “Thank you.” Pete hugged her hard and quick and th
en headed for the door. “I’ll get Captain Perkins back in here for you.”

  “Thank you.” Pete hugged her hard and quick and then headed for the door. “I’ll get Captain Perkins back in here for you.”

  Pete was flying high, thrilled not only with the news of the baby but with the fact that he could finally tell Marla how he felt about her. With each passing day he had felt ready to explode from bottling up his feelings and having no outlet for them. Maybe it was more about unburdening his guilty conscience over his abhorrent behavior, but any feelings he gushed about to her would be the gospel truth. He said a little prayer, asking for guidance and wisdom. from the lord above. Pete located Captain Perkins and directed her back to her office as promised, then headed for home, anxious to get started on the letter.

  Now that Pete faced the huge expanse of the empty sheet of paper, he realized this might be just a little harder than he originally thought. The only thing that kept running through his mind was what an idiot he was. After fighting that impulse for quite a while he decided to go with it.

  Dear Marla:

  I am without a doubt the biggest asshole in the whole wide world. I hurt you with my callous remarks to Dillon that I didn’t even mean and I have no defense for my actions. I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to set eyes on me again. I deserve every bad thought you have of me. Am I groveling? Absolutely. Am I begging your forgiveness? Definitely. Do I expect forgiveness? No. I wouldn’t blame you one bit if you never wanted to see me again, but I’ll leave that decision to you and pray you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

  Let me make this perfectly clear, I LOVE YOU! I should have said those words so long ago, because I’ve known for a long time but was too wrapped-up in my own fears to say it. Pitiful, isn’t it? When Dr. Stravinsky told me about the baby I was so happy I was sure my heart would leap out of my chest. I’m sure I don’t deserve this much happiness and I’m so grateful that you decided to keep the baby. Our baby. Created out of love, because I know you love me, too.

  Please Marla, take good care of yourself and our baby. I would never presume that you would forgive me, so I’m just going to ask you to stay well until we can see each other again, but that’s your choice. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! Please give me another chance to prove it. I’ll gladly shout it out to anyone who’ll listen, in the middle of the street, at a town hall meeting, on a billboard, anywhere you wish, just say the word and I’ll gladly do it. Anything you ask, I’ll do without hesitation or question.

  Stay well, my love.

  Love,

  Pete

  P.S.: I’m happy to tell you that the dogs are doing very well. They’re staying with me now and I even installed a pet door for them. Curly confided to me that they all miss you very much and can’t wait to see you again. I’m sure I’m just a poor substitute for their true love, you. Just as you’re my one and only true love.

  Pete read the letter over and over again but didn’t change a thing. He knew it was pitiful the way he groveled and begged but he also knew everything he’d written was the God’s honest truth, so he let it stand. He carefully folded the letter and put it in an envelope, sealing it tightly. Pete had no reasonable expectations of how Marla would react to the letter, so he decided to be patient and let it just play out. One thing he did have control over was getting it into the hands of Captain Perkins, so he headed straight for the police station, knowing she was working killer hours trying to figure this case out.

  When Pete knocked on the Captain’s door she didn’t look surprised to see him at all, in fact a slow smile came to her lips.

  “Dr. Stravinsky told me to expect a visit from you. Have you finished the letter?” Captain Perkins asked.

  “Yes. Do you know when you’ll be able to get it to her?” Pete didn’t want to make any demands but he was anxious, to say the least.

  “Will later tonight suit you?” She smiled.

  “That would be fantastic, thank you.”

  “No problem. Just so I don’t have to open this, I assume there’s nothing in here about the case. Am I correct?”

  “Nothing at all, I promise. I had too many other things to clear up to get into all that. But now that you mention it, there is something that’s bothering me about the case. I haven’t been able to find any way Marla could have come into this country, but have you ever noticed that Marla doesn’t have a Canadian accent? I know Canadian accents aren’t that pronounced but she has no trace of an accent. Don’t you find that strange?” Pete asked.

  “I never thought about it but now that you mention it, you’re right. I would have noticed too because I have some family in Canada myself, and I always notice their accent. Good point Jensen. Let me think about this for a while, see what possibilities I can come up with.”

  “Thank you Captain.” Pete left her office now deep in thought, back on the case of Marla’s citizenship. Possibly the reason Pete hadn’t been able to locate a green card on Marla is because she never needed one in the first place. It suddenly occurred to Pete that the FBI had been aware of this fact all along. Maybe they didn’t say anything because they wanted the Wynott P.D. to stay out of their hair while they tried to locate Alonso Fortuna. He certainly wouldn’t put it past them, they usually had a whole separate agenda from the one they presented to the brass in the department. Well, their free time had run out because now Pete was determined to make himself their least favorite police officer.