Yeah that would be great. After a little more small talk Noah was finally out of there. Any thoughts of Rita were quickly squashed as the memory of kissing, holding and sucking Roni’s delicious skin came back to him. Funny how having Rita’s tits up against him and her legs firmly wrapped around his waist had done nothing but irritate him and here just the thought of kissing Roni again was making it uncomfortable to sit anymore.
CHAPTER 20
The night Noah returned from helping out Gio and his uncle they came to one compromise. Their friendship would remain just that, a friendship, except Noah negotiated a kiss goodnight… every night.
Veronica hadn’t argued much and though she stipulated it would be strictly a friendly kiss, she knew it would be anything but. What started as a quick peck goodnight had escalated into a kiss that nearly had her panting and in a quick need of a change of panties. The following nights it got even longer.
Her first few days back at work she’d barely managed to stay awake. Between her sleepless nights after Noah’s amazing use of his tongue and the two year’s worth of painfully boring work compliance trainings and videos she had to sit through, it was hard to keep her eyes open.
Her boss, Leslie, had yet to tell her where she’d end up once she was done training but seemed pretty optimistic that she still had plenty of time to figure it out since it would probably be weeks before Veronica was all caught up with her trainings. Really? This is what she’d looked forward to and spent hundreds of dollars on a new wardrobe for?
Derek had texted her twice that week and called her once leaving a voicemail saying he was looking forward to getting together with her again soon. The way things were going with Noah, who now despite the fact that he agreed they’d remain friends acted every bit the possessive boyfriend around other guys, she didn’t see how that would ever happen.
And the fact was after a week of being completely incapable of fighting her desires for Noah, Veronica had now started to consider the possibilities. She was going to dinner tonight with Nellie and was hoping her best friend could help her figure this out. Nellie had called a few days ago admitting she’d been feeling incredibly guilty about how much she’d neglected their friendship in the last couple of months.
Veronica told her she didn’t have to but was secretly happy to hear Nellie say she was going to make it a point to get together with Veronica more often from here on. Deep inside she didn’t like the fact that she’d become so dependent on Noah to keep her company—be her only friend. She needed to feel there was more going on in her life than just him.
A couple of her friends from work had also made mention of having to get together and catch up. But for now it was just mentioned. No one had actually planned anything.
Just a little over a week after New Year’s Veronica had easily convinced herself that maybe Noah was mature enough for her to get involved with. He took his boxing and training career very seriously. And even though his career choice was a bit unconventional he had many goals and aspirations but most admirable was his discipline. He could easily slack off and take a day off from training or veer off the special diet he’d put himself on when training for a fight but he never did.
She had to admit she knew men much older than him that hadn’t the faintest what they wanted out of life. Even though she still had her doubts about Noah being willing and able to commit to a serious relationship at such a young age, he was the one who seemed most adamant that something like that could work.
Veronica sent Noah a text reminding him that she’d be skipping her workout tonight and that she’d be home a little later because she was having dinner with Nellie. It didn’t seem weird that she’d be checking in with him. He’d started to do the same with her as well. Ever since the morning after their little argument that ended with her in tears and she left that note for him to let him know where she was, he thanked her for that and she knew he genuinely worried about her. She didn’t see it as having to check in, more so as extending courtesy so her friend wouldn’t worry.
Nellie had agreed to meet her at a local Cuban restaurant—one of their favorites. She seemed excited about catching up and Veronica quickly brought her up to speed about everything. She purposely gave her more details of her holidays with Noah, leaving nothing out until she got to New Year’s Eve.
Nellie’s jaw dropped when Veronica told them about making out with him. “I don’t know. It was just something that had been building for weeks and I let myself go with it.” She smiled feeling like she was back in high school again. “Nellie he’s incredible and it wasn’t just kissing. It got pretty heavy. I mean…” she brought her hands to her neck. “The hickeys just finally faded completely a few days ago.”
She’d barely gotten the sentence out when Nellie spit up her drink and grabbed for her napkin. Veronica laughed. She knew how ridiculous it sounded but she was so relieved to be telling someone about it she didn’t care.
“Hickeys? What are you thirteen?”
Veronica laughed even more now. God, she’d missed Nellie. When they were both done with their giggle fest Veronica bit her bottom lip and said the words she hadn’t allowed to even think about seriously. “He said he’s in love with me. Told me New Year’s Eve. ”
Veronica didn’t think Nellie could look any more stunned than she had just a few minutes earlier. “I know, right?” Veronica asked not sure if she should laugh again or puke. “We’ve only known each other a few months and at his age he probably doesn’t even know what love is.”
“He’s not a little boy, Roni.” Nellie had that tone she always had when she was being very serious. “Okay so he’s younger than you, but a twenty year old man is capable of knowing the difference between lust and love. If he says he’s in love, I believe him.”
“Really?” Veronica leaned in closer whispering as if the people in the next table might hear and think her as ridiculous as she felt.
“What is so crazy about him being in love with you? You’re a wonderful person and he’s obviously picked up on that, not to mention you’re stunning. Look at you.”
As usual, Nellie did what she always did best—chased all the self doubt away that Roni so easily harbored but there was more to it than just that. “So am I crazy for even considering this?”
Nellie stirred her drink and looked at Veronica very seriously. “What is it you’re considering exactly?”
Veronica shrugged suddenly feeling completely unsure of what she’d so successfully convinced herself earlier. “At first I was completely against the idea of anything between me and him ever happening but now… I don’t know. It doesn’t seem so out of the question.”
“What do you have in mind? I mean if he’s saying he’s in love with you, you really have to be careful what you decide to do here. Are you looking for a relationship with him or are we talking just giving in to your carnal desires?”
Veronica laughed nervously. Saying this out loud made it sound as unrealistic as she originally thought. “He’s a lot more mature than I gave him credit for in the beginning.” She took a sip of her soda contemplating whether she should bring up her real fears. “He’s really sweet and his loyalty is so admirable. His friends mean everything to him.” She really did admire his loyalty. She’d never met anyone quite like him and his friends. Abel looked ready to kill the guy that blindsided Noah. He might’ve too if they hadn’t pulled him off. “Loyal equals trustworthy right?”
“Is that what you’re worried about? If you can trust him?”
Veronica nodded but quickly added. “It’s not like he’s giving me any reason to think that he couldn’t be trusted. And this whole time he’s been living with me all he does is go to work and come straight home. Except for the times he’s gone over to his friends…” She stopped short of telling her about his ride with Rita but of course Nellie was one step ahead of her as usual.
“And what does he do when he goes there?”
“Nothing, he just hangs out.” She met Nellie’s eyes for
a second then decided she may as well tell her. She’d already gushed about how wonderful Thanksgiving had been. “Okay the day after Thanksgiving he went over to his friend Gio’s. He said he was just going to hang out. Even now, I don’t expect explanations from him about anything. And things have progressed significantly since, so back then he owed me even less.” She frowned, the emotion she’d felt the night she found out about Rita coming back to her but she held it back. “I found out later he’d slept with Gio’s cousin that day.”
Nellie stared at her but said nothing. She could feel Nellie waiting for her to go on but her voice had caught. She didn’t want Nellie to see how something Noah did over a month ago when they were no more than roommates who hadn’t even touched still hurt.
Finally, Nellie sat up a bit straighter. Veronica expected her to go into some kind of lecture about how that’s what was to be expected from a guy Noah’s age. She was almost hoping for it. If anyone could talk some sense into her, it would be Nellie but instead she reached across the table and touched her hand.
“Honey, I am so sorry that I haven’t been here for you. Obviously, so much has been going on with you and you’ve had no one to share this with.”
Veronica shook her head quickly. “No. I had my chance. The morning we went out for waffles I meant to tell you. I found out about it the night before but I decided not to because I felt stupid. He was just my roommate and—”
“You spent a wonderful holiday with him just the two of you. You said you had moments. It obviously meant a lot to you and I can totally understand why that would be heartbreaking. If I were you, I would’ve been hurt, too. You weren’t being stupid; you were being human.” She squeezed her hand. “Look, the one thing Rick and I have been hearing about for weeks in all these retreats and counseling sessions is that trust is the absolute foundation of a relationship. Without it, you have nothing. What did Noah have to say about sleeping with the girl?”
Veronica shook her head. “I never asked him about it and of course he never offered an explanation. But the girl came back for Christmas and from what his friend said she’s basically his go-to whore during the holidays. I asked him if he would be spending time with her and he said no. Instead, he spent the holidays with me. He was by my side both Christmas Eve and Christmas day, then New Year’s Eve happened.”
“But you still have your doubts?”
“It’s not just her, Nellie. She doesn’t even live nearby. It’s that he’s so much younger and you’ve seen him. The guy can take his pick of any hot girl he chooses. And there’s plenty, like the groupies at his fight. How long will it be before this old lady starts to bore him?”
“Oh get out of here.” Nellie pushed her hand away looking genuinely pissed. “Don’t even start with that crap. You look amazing and Noah certainly seems to agree. Besides this has nothing to do with age or looks anymore. The guy is in love with you. You’ll be beautiful to him now no matter what.”
“Yeah but...” She hated to bring up such a sore subject but Nellie had already done so in a way and Veronica suddenly had to know. “Did Rick ever explain why he almost cheated?”
Instead of looking taken aback like Veronica had expected, Nellie’s expression went from pissed off to satisfied. “I’m glad you brought that up. I was planning on sharing this with you anyway.”
Nellie told her about the many therapy sessions she and Rick had attended. And while she in no way blamed herself for Rick’s indiscretions she did partially fault the fact that she’d given into what the therapist referred to as ‘marriages fine art of denial’. Leading to what she now called ‘Rick’s near miss.’
“To put it simply it’s a form of regression. And it starts very early on in relationships. Most people don’t even notice it, since it starts off so subtly. It actually feels right when it first starts but it builds. In my case, I knew something was going on with Rick from the very beginning and I chose to ignore it. It was uncomfortable to talk of or even think about it. I decided our marriage and love was strong enough and whatever it was I could trust Rick to do the right thing. Turns out he was doing things because he secretly wanted to get caught. And what did I do? I kept turning a blind eye, refusing to acknowledge that there was something seriously wrong.”
Nellie told her about how for months before the intern even began working with Rick their sex life wasn’t what it once used to be. She was tired and stressed out from work all the time and she was just never in the mood. They started going days then weeks without it and of course, neither of them talked about it.
“I seriously don’t think this will be an issue for you two from what you’ve told me so far.” Nellie giggled making Veronica blush. “My point is, I know you, Roni. If you’re actually considering doing this with this guy your doubts won’t go away overnight. In fact, the harder you fall for him the more doubt will creep up. Whatever you do, don’t let your pride dictate your actions. If there is something you need to know, something that will settle your nerves or any qualms you may have, ask him. Bring it up no matter how uncomfortable.”
Veronica frowned, the first thing that came to mind was Rita. She hated that she was still hung up on that.
“Trust me on this, Roni. If I’ve learned anything from what happened between me and Rick is that I will never again hold back. Any suspicion I have, no matter how miniscule, any uncertainties I have about our marriage it’s all coming up. Of course, you don’t want to harp on everything and drive him up the wall, but Noah will have to understand one thing. I know you better than anyone. If you do this you are seriously sacrificing your comfort zone.”
Veronica nodded. She sure as hell would be. This was so not like her. She still could hardly believe she was actually giving it serious consideration.
“He’ll just have to be understanding of that.”
Out of nowhere, a small laugh escaped Veronica and she covered her mouth with her napkin. “That’s one thing I don’t think Noah will have too much of an issue with. I told you what he’s like already.”
Nellie smiled. “Normally I’d say having such a hard ass for a boyfriend might be a problem, but in your case it just might work to your advantage. He can’t complain about you ever having your misgivings if he’s barely stopped short of pissing your leg to mark his territory.”
Veronica laughed wholeheartedly now. She felt so much better. She knew she would. Nellie had always been able to talk her down or up whatever the situation was.
Excitement flitted throughout her the entire drive home. Noah walked out to meet her as she got out of her car in the garage.
“How’d it go?”
As he usually did lately, he stood close enough she could smell his breath and he stared at her with the burning eyes that drove her crazy. He’d obviously brushed his teeth very recently because she could still smell the toothpaste on his breath.
“It went well.” She smiled. “I didn’t realize how much I missed Nellie until I saw her today.”
“I see you dressed up for the occasion.” His hand took hers and he lifted her arm up, stepping back to take in her outfit. “Very nice.”
She actually had dressed up but she was still flattered Noah had noticed. She’d been a little nervous about wearing something she might have considered a bit young for her. But the long sweater tunic, black tights and her new boots had earned her nothing but compliments today at work, including a very excited one from Nellie. This was part of her big plan for the new Veronica. She still couldn’t believe how far she’d sunk in the two years leading up to her mother’s death.
“Thank you. It’s one of my new outfits.”
Her thoughts were back on Noah and the one uncomfortable thing she wanted to ask him. She’d do it once and then never bring it up again. But she needed to know.
Noah took a step forward as usual testing her limits. At this point, she typically would have a hand up between them reminding him of their friendship status and their agreement that any kissing would be only in the form of a
friendly and innocent goodnight kiss. Tonight however she let him close in on her. Of course, he wasted no time. Within seconds, she was melting in his strong arms as he drove his tongue into her mouth the way only he could do.
After his delectable greeting that she could very well get used to and would definitely consider working into their agreement, they came up for air. “I missed you tonight,” he whispered against her lips before pecking her again.
“I missed you, too.”
It seemed like it was just the obvious response but she really had. It had been nice to spend time with Nellie and the clarity that had come with their conversation had been priceless. However she had to admit the thought that she could be home with Noah instead had ruefully crossed her mind a few times during dinner.
Which brought her to her next thought. Taking Nellie’s advice she wouldn’t put this off any longer. Judging by Noah’s greeting, who knew what tonight would end up like and this was something she needed to know before she made any decisions.
She leaned back against the car and Noah pressed up against her. “Can I ask you something? It’s kind of personal.”
He backed up a little his forehead creasing a bit. “Yeah, you can ask me anything.”
“What exactly is your relationship with Rita?”
Even though Noah made great effort to appear indifferent to her question, it clearly hit a nerve. His already hard body tensed up immediately at the very mention of Rita’s name, sending out a very bad vibe that made Veronica almost regret asking.
CHAPTER 21
A test is what this felt like and Noah always sucked at tests. She’d let him kiss her and then she dropped this on him. His mind raced to try and figure this out. He searched for the perfect answer but there was no two ways around it. Rita was exactly as Roni had once put it—his drive-by one night stand. But in Rita’s case it’d been far more than one time.
He stood his ground trying to stay cool as Roni’s eyes sought something in his. “She’s just someone I hang with—well hung with,” he amended quickly. “Not anymore, in the past.” He shrugged trying to make as little of it as possible. “We were both single and neither of us was looking for anything deep.”