Chapter Fourteen
Though Paleo came to see me as often as he could, there were still times when two or three nights went by that he didn’t. When that was the case, I would simply lie in bed thinking of him and hoping he could come soon. His love-making was so far beyond wonderful that each night I would ready for bed in excited anticipation that this night might be a night that he would again take me beyond the stars and wondrous realms of imagination. I could hardly wait.
I loved Paleo so much I could no longer keep it to myself. I finally gave in to the need to tell someone and I told Nancy and Paul.
They were thrilled for me. Paul said he had a male friend who had a succubus, and claimed she was beyond his wildest dreams. Both Nancy and Paul confessed that should they ever lose one another that they would probably consider having a demon lover. Still, like me, they would probably leave things open just in case they did meet someone human of the opposite sex; someone that they would want to be with. That is, unless they were up in years. In that case, they would be very happy without a human lover and be very happy with an incubus or succubus.
Paleo never told me anything of his duties as a soldier, only that he had been on duty or had to leave for duty. He always seemed very happy to be with me, though. That, in itself, made me deliriously happy. I would have never thought that I could love a supernatural creature, especially an incubus! There are so many horrible stories and lies about them out there. When in actuality, they are some of the most wonderful beings a human could ever have the privilege and honor of knowing. I thank Father Satan daily for Paleo.
Mom and I were back to as ‘normal’ a relationship as possible, with her being an ingrained Christian. In spite of her differences with Dad, she was now attending services regularly. This, of course, according to her (and I’m sure it was true), made Dad very happy. I did warn her when we were having dinner at my apartment one Wednesday evening before service that Dad might take it as a sign she wanted to return to their marriage.
To my surprise, she kind of blew it off. “Oh well… If he wants to think that, let him,” she replied, smiling a though it weren’t a big deal. “I have no intentions of going back to him. I’ve told him so too.”
“I know you have. But he is a man, and may think that you are letting him know that you aren’t going to be easily obtainable this time. He may think you are putting up a front because you think you can set up some rules of your own. That you are playing hard to get.”
Her brow narrowed slightly and she waved her hand dismissively. “Oh I don’t believe he thinks that.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Mom. Dad’s too cocky. I think he thinks you want to come back to him. He still thinks he’s one of God’s gifts to mankind. And that includes his wife.”
She let out a soft laugh. “Well, I do agree with that last statement.” She put out a hand then. “Hey! Why don’t you come to church with me this evening?”
This I had not anticipated. “What?”
“You heard me. Come to church with me?”
“I don’t think so.” I pushed my chair back and took my plate and set it in the sink, and then turned to face her. She had stood too and put her plate in the sink as well.
“Why not?” She eyed me curiously.
“I told you before. I don’t believe that way anymore.”
“You do believe in God, don’t you?”
“I do believe in a God,” I replied. “Just not in the controlling, hellfire and brimstone-thrower that you do.”
Anger surfaced in her eyes. She went to speak, but then must have remembered our last fight. She sighed and glanced off momentarily before addressing me. “All right. I don’t want us to fight again. I just thought it would be nice if you came to church with me.”
“Even if I wanted to go to church – which I don’t – I would not step inside a church that dragged me across the yard and spent hours trying to exorcise a demon out of me!”
There was a flicker of pain in her eyes. “Oh! I forgot about that… Okay. I guess I can understand you not wanting to go there. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Mom. If you want to attend, fine. I don’t have a problem with it. Just don’t expect me to.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t go either?” she said with a far-off look. “But I wouldn’t feel at home anywhere else.” Her expression was that she was hoping to see approval from me for her to go.
“I said it was okay. Go on, Mom. I know you miss your old friends. But keep in mind they’re not mine. Not anymore.”
“I have to say that is very generous of you, considering the circumstances. I am sure they thought they were doing the right thing though.”
“I’m sure they did… in their ignorance.”
She flinched at my words but didn’t address it. Instead, she said, “I’ll help you with these dishes and then go.”
“It’s okay, Mom. I glanced at my watch. You will be late if you help me. Besides, there aren’t that many dishes for just the two of us.”
“You’re sure?”
“Absolutely. Go ahead.”
“Okay, hon. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye, hon. Have a good evening.” She kissed my cheek.
“You too.”
She left. I was relieved that our argument was settled before it got out of hand; that Mom had had the reasoning to stop when she did. Also, I had Paleo on my mind. I hoped, oh how I hoped, he could come see me. I really needed for him to hold me.
It was too early to go to bed though, and church would be getting under way soon. It was still warm enough in the evenings that I didn’t need a jacket yet, so I decided to take a walk in the park. As I approached the bench that faced opposite the church, I saw a familiar figure sitting on the far end of the bench – Erick! Seeing me, he smiled and said hello. I said hello back and took a seat by him.
“How are you this fine evening?” he asked.
“Good, I guess. Mom and I almost had a fight, but then she managed to shut her mouth before it got out of hand.”
“Yes. I thought that was your mother leaving your apartment a few minutes ago. You two look a lot alike.”
“So I’ve been told. Thanks. I consider that a compliment.”
“I meant it as one. Your mother is a very attractive woman.”
“I’m sure my mother would be thrilled if she heard you say that.”
Musical sounds of a hymn wafted its way across the street. I recognized it right away as a favorite one from my childhood: Revive Us Again. I guess I will always love the hymn, even if that’s not the way I believe anymore. I did get teary-eyed. And I hated the fact that what the churches taught simply wasn’t so. That so many were raised to believe the untruths. It wasn’t just Christianity either. It all originated when the Jews wanted the world to believe they were God’s ‘chosen’ people, and then there were the Muslims. It was all a profoundly crazy joke on mankind. Hearing the hymn brought very painful, mixed feelings to the surface. I began sobbing.
Instantly, Erick laid a comforting arm around me.
“It hurts,” I said. “It all hurts so much.”
“I know,” he replied, seeming to understand fully what I was experiencing. “But someday the truth will come out.”
I looked up at him with a start. “You know?”
I could swear his eyes glowed unnaturally. “I know, Brenda.”
I had accused him once of being supernatural, so I wasn’t about to do it again. Still, at that moment, I had the distinct feeling that I had been right to begin with. Maybe he just couldn’t or didn’t want to admit it to me. At least, not yet.
After the hymn ended, I could hear my father offering up a prayer, as he had a voice that carried well. Something that was good for a man of his profession. After the prayer, he began his sermon, and as I sat there hearing the condemnations and accusations and my father telling everyone they were going to burn in some fiery hell if they didn’t confess their sins right
then and there and beg God for forgiveness, my sadness turned back to anger.
Erick apparently saw this. “All better now?” he asked with a slight grin tilting the corners of his mouth.
“Yeah… Yeah… Thanks.”
He withdrew his arm. “Not a problem.” He sucked in air then and let it out in a long sigh.
I stood. I’d had enough of the sermon going on across the street. “I guess I’ll head back home now.”
Erick stood too. “I’ll walk you home.”
“Thanks. But you don’t have to.”
“I know, Brenda. I want to. That is, if it’s okay with you?”
“Sure! I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to.”
“I don’t. But it is dark. And I would feel better myself knowing you arrived home safely.”
“Since you put it that way… By all means, please walk me home.”
Grinning in his charming way, he held out a hand for me to lead the way, and we headed for my apartment.
To my disappointment, once more Paleo failed to come. I knew that he would when he could though. So I swallowed my disappointment and managed to fall asleep.