I smiled. “Thanks.”
As Frank walked away, memories popped into my head: the joy of falling in love with him seven years ago, the anger of finding out about Tisha, the pain of losing my first and only child, the genuine affection he’d shown me after my miscarriage, the disappointment of being only his mistress, and the wild night when Tisha had shown her true colors and I realized just how unhappy Frank really was in his marriage.
I did love Deandre, but it wasn’t the deep, complicated love I’d felt for Frank. In time, I hoped those feelings would evolve and that we would be a cute old couple, holding hands on a porch swing and sipping iced tea spiked with Hennessy Privilege. I felt guilty for comparing the two men. After all, Deandre had given me something Frank never had: a real commitment. I looked down at my ring and smiled, assured that I was making the right decision.
* * *
A few hours later, I unlocked the door to my apartment and changed out of my business suit and into a pair of jeans and a Pistons jersey. I had plans to see Deandre play the Lakers at the Palace. I wasn’t in the mood to go to the game, but I still wanted to support my future husband.
I sat in the stands, drinking beer and wishing for something much stronger. It was agonizing to watch the Lakers slaughter the Pistons. Deandre only got a few minutes of court time toward the end of the fourth quarter, and he missed both of the shots he aimed for. The final score was 98-71; it was the worst game of Detroit’s season.
Later that night, when we got back to Deandre’s house, he said, “I’m sorry you had to see that. I was so off tonight. Maybe it’s because of what you put on me last night.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I had a shitty day too,” I said.
He frowned. “Why? What happened?”
“My sister’s in trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?”
“Legal trouble. She might end up doing time.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I thought your sister was good people. I wish there was something I could do to help.”
I smiled. “Do you know any good defense attorneys?”
“I can’t say I do. I’ve never been caught up in the system like that.”
“That’s a good thing.”
“I know something that might cheer us both up though.”
“What’s that?”
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled my body close to his, so I could feel his erection. He kissed my neck. “It’s got your name on it, Reese’s.”
I pushed him away. “Hold on, Deandre. We need to talk about something first.”
He frowned. “What is it?”
“When can I meet Corey?”
“Well, uh…actually, that was gonna be one of my Christmas surprises for you. I plan to take you home next week to meet him my whole family.”
I smiled. “Really? Wow!”
He took my hand. “You’re gonna be my wife, so that’s a given.”
“Have you talked to Corey about me?”
“He knows his daddy has a girlfriend, but I haven’t talked to him about us being engaged. I think it would hurt him if he figures out that I’m marrying somebody besides his mama, but when he meets you and sees how cool you are, I think it’ll be easier for me to break the news.”
I kissed him and said, “You make me so happy, baby!”
He picked me up off my feet and carried me upstairs to his bedroom. He tossed me on the bed, and we made love like lions in the African wild. It was so intense that I had a double-orgasm from him stroking my clit with his finger and stroking my G-spot with his dick at the same time. I’d never experienced that before, and the sensation made my pussy feel reborn. After it was over, I fell asleep in his strong arms.
* * *
Just before three o’clock in the morning, I was awakened by the sound of a vibrating cell phone. I looked over at the nightstand and saw Deandre’s iPhone next to mine. Both of them had silent, black screens. I glanced at Deandre, and he was snoring softly. I slowly climbed out of bed and tiptoed across his carpeted floor, following the sound of his secret cell phone to his closet. I opened the door quietly and located it inside of his gym bag, sandwiched between a headband and a pair of socks.
Janice’s name and picture were flashing on the screen. She was a pretty, dark-skinned woman with wavy hair and almond-shaped eyes. Her bright smile looked like the stuff of Colgate commercials.
In one quick motion, I grabbed the phone, ran into the bathroom, and closed the door behind me. I thought about answering the call, but I decided to wait for her to leave a voicemail instead.
Seconds later, I played the message: “Hey Dre, listen to who woke me up…”
I heard the sound of a baby crying in the background.
“Hey, Mackenzie, say ‘We miss you, Daddy!’ This girl is getting bigger every day. I know she’s gonna be tall, like you. I watched the game tonight. Don’t worry, you’ll do better next time. Kobe ain’t all that. Corey and Justin keep asking me about you. All I hear is, ‘When is Daddy coming home?’ I can’t wait to have you here for the holidays. Anyway, I guess you’re asleep. I love you, babe. “
Tears streaked down my face at the realization that Deandre had lied to me about everything. Janice was not the mother of one of his children, but three! I sobbed even harder when I looked through the photo gallery on his phone and saw the faces of seven other children who shared his dark eyes and dimpled smile. Based on their light skin tones and wavy hair, I assumed their mothers were different ethnicities, but there was no denying that Deandre, my fiancé, had fathered them all.
I felt like the biggest fool on the planet. As a reporter, my livelihood depended on my ability to find reliable sources and fact-check everything, but I had neglected to see the truth about the man I thought I was destined to marry. As it turned out, that overweight receptionist at the police station knew more about Deandre than I did. In shock and overcome with anger and heartbreak, I dropped the phone, and it skittered across the floor.
Deandre called out to me from the bedroom, “Reese’s? Are you okay?”
I opened the bathroom door and screamed, “Did you ever love me at all?”
He sat up in bed. “Of course I love you.”
I wiped my eyes. “For once, can you stop lying to me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I found your other cell phone! When were you going to tell me Corey has ten siblings!?”
He took a deep breath. “Look, Kai, I’ve only got six kids, three from Janice and three from other chicks I messed around with back in the day. That’s the truth. I’m still waiting on the paternity results for the other ones.”
“This shit is unbelievable! Are you still in a relationship with Janice?”
“I, um…we—”
“Does Corey even have sickle cell?”
“No, but Justin does.”
“What kind of monster lies about something like that?”
“My family life was none of your business anyway.”
“So what was I to you? Some chick you could fuck whenever and however you wanted? If you just wanted a sexual relationship, I woulda been fine with that. Why’d you go to all this trouble to make me think it’s something else? Meeting my family, telling me you love me, fucking proposing to me? I just don’t get it!”
“You want the truth? Here it is. I can get any chick I set my sights on, Kai, but cheerleaders and groupies don’t exactly do it for me. I get off turning out career women. You were a real good piece of ass when we first hooked up on the casual tip, but after I told you I love you, you took the sex to another level. Your pussy got wetter, and your head game was off the charts. You fucked me better than a porn star…and believe me when I say I’m speaking from a whole lot of experience.”
“You’re so fucking pathetic!” I slipped his engagement ring off of my finger and threw it on the floor.
“You might as well keep it. The shit ain’t real anyway. I keep a drawer full of ‘em.”
/> “Asshole! All I ever I wanted from you was love. You’re heartless for pretending to love me. What kind of man does something like that?”
“Don’t be so mad about it, baby. Part of you had to know I was too good to be true—too good for you.”
I looked down at the two-carat, princess-cut cubic zirconia and thought about burning his house down like Left Eye did to Andre Rison’s, but Deandre wasn’t worth me doing a bid for arson. In fact, I knew he wasn’t worth a damn thing, and I was furious at myself for being a fool.
Deandre’s declarations of love and his fairytale proposal had suspended my sense of reality, but those cruel revelations allowed me to see the selfish man he really was. I felt emotionally bruised, but a bigger part of me was relieved to know the truth. Something had always felt a little off about Deandre, and right then and there, staring at that fake man and his fake ring, I promised myself that I would never, ever ignore my inner voice again.
CHAPTER 22
From behind a thick sheet of glass, Mama and I watched the prison guard escort LaNaya to the seat across from us. Tears formed in my eyes at the sight of my sister in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs. Her short, kinky hair was wild and matted. I barely recognized her without her fake eyelashes and Mac foundation.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d seen her without makeup. LaNaya’s bare skin was smooth, with the exception of a cigarette burn on her jaw; the facial scar was the result of an altercation with Javon years ago. She had cuts on her limbs from his knife attacks and a bruise on the side of her stomach from when he pushed her down the stairs during her second pregnancy.
The men in my life had put me through a lot, but I thanked God that I’d never had to live through the horror of domestic abuse. I understood nothing about the hell LaNaya had experienced. I thought back to all the times I’d gone to see her in the hospital after she’d fallen victim to Javon’s rage. She would look at me with two black eyes and muster just enough strength to defend him, saying it wasn’t as bad as it looked. Today, though, there was no denying that things were even worse than they appeared.
When she sat down, Mama reached out for her through the glass and hollered, “Mercy!”
LaNaya frowned and picked up the receiver.
I picked up the other receiver and held it between Mama and myself.
Mama was crying even harder than me. She said, “My precious baby…”
“Don’t cry, Mama,” LaNaya said, blinking hard to hold back her own tears.
“I’ve been praying every night for you. We’re gonna get you outta here. Jesus will see us through this.”
“Does Jesus have my bail money?”
“I’m trying to see about getting another mortgage on the house, and—”
“You shouldn’t have to do that, Mama.” LaNaya looked at me. “I know you’ve got it! How you gonna sit there and let Mama mortgage her house?”
“I don’t have $100,000 lying around, LaNaya,” I said.
“Bitch, please. You got it, and even if you ain’t, you could borrow it from Frank. I know that nigga’s paid.”
“Don’t use that language in front of Mama!”
“Sorry, Mama. That was wrong of me. I’m just frustrated as hell right now. I shouldn’t be in here. I didn’t kill nobody! You gotta believe me!”
“Honey, I know you would never do anything like that, not for nothing in this world,” Mama said.
“What we need to focus on right now is finding you a good attorney,” I said.
“And posting my bail!”
“The retainer fee is going to cost thousands.”
“Are you tellin’ me I gotta spend Christmas up in here? I ain’t never spent Christmas without my kids.”
“Maybe we could, uh…bring Cher-Cher and Li’l JJ here,” Mama suggested. “I realize it’s not the best of circumstances, but at least we’d all be together as a family on Christmas day.”
LaNaya shook her head. “No. I can’t let them see me like this.” She cried the tears she’d been holding back. “I couldn’t imagine seeing them and not being able to hug them and kiss them. That would hurt me more than anything in the world.”
Mama lifted her head to Heaven. “Lord, give me strength!”
Snot ran down LaNaya’s nose as she sobbed. “Mama, I swear on my life that I didn’t kill nobody! My only mistake was being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“I know, honey.”
“We know you didn’t do it, LaNaya, but if the jury sees that video of Ace—”
“What?”
“I saw his police interview.”
“He said I did it? That motherfucka is unbelievable!”
The guard announced that visiting time was over.
“I can only imagine how rough it is in there for you, but hang in there,” I said. “We’re gonna find you a good attorney and get you out as soon as possible.”
LaNaya smiled through her tears. “You’d better. Don’t let me turn into a prison wife.”
“Hush that talk!” Mama said, cringing.
“I’m just kidding, Mama. Big Bertha ain’t got to me yet.”
We exchanged I-love-you’s as the guard escorted her away.
* * *
Slushy snow fell on windshield as I drove Mama back home. For most of the ride, she prayed quietly. I hadn’t seen her like that since my father had passed away two decades ago. Even though LaNaya was physically behind bars, Mama was emotionally imprisoned.
When I turned onto her street, she looked at me and asked, “What do think is gonna happen to her?”
“Hopefully, she’ll be out soon, and—”
“Don’t tell me what I wanna hear, baby. Tell me what you honestly think.”
“With the help of a good attorney—”
“Even the best lawyers in the world can’t guarantee nothing.”
“So far, the whole case is circumstantial, based on the eyewitness account of a convict. Any competent jury will question that.”
“I’m not gonna live forever.”
“What are you talking about?”
“There is a chance LaNaya might end up in prison for a long time. I might be in the grave before my baby gets out.”
“Please stop being so morbid, Mama.”
“If something happens to me, how would you feel about raising the kids? I know that’s what LaNaya would want. It’s what I would want.”
I felt tears coming on. I didn’t want to think about Mama passing away. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but it was still a painful thought.
“You’ve got what it takes to be a really good mother,” she said. “You’ve got a heart as big as Lake Michigan, and those kids love you to pieces. Cher-Cher wants to be just like you when she grows up.”
“Mama, I—”
“I want you to think about it. I know you’ve got a career and everything, but you should never lose sight of the Lord’s most precious gift, family. Ours may not be perfect, but it’s always been full of love.”
Tears streaked my face as I said, “I promise to do everything in my power to get custody of the kids if something happens to you, but we aren’t gonna have to worry about that for a long, long time. Jesus can’t have you yet, Mama.”
“I love you, honey,” she said, “and I’m not trying to scare you. Lord knows I plan to be here for a long, long time. I only want what’s best for this family. I only brought it up…just in case. And I meant everything I said about you being a good mother one day.”
“Well, if that day ever does come, it won’t be with Deandre.”
“I know you’re still hurting, but don’t dwell on it. You’re still young, and there are plenty of fish in the sea. If you want, we can hit a singles’ night together. I hear Flood’s has a two-for-one drink special.”
I chuckled.
“Seriously, don’t give up on love, Kai. Too many women make that mistake. To be honest, that’s what happened to me after your father died. I carried that grief aro
und for years. I missed out on a chance to be with a wonderful man because I was too afraid.”
“What were you afraid of?”
“I was afraid of losing him like I lost your father, but if I could go back in time, I’d choose love over fear.”
“Mama, I never knew—”
“I realize I haven’t discussed this before. I guess the only reason I’m talking about it now is because I don’t want to see you repeat my mistake. It means a lot to me that you promised to take care of the kids, but I want you to promise me something else.”
“What’s that, Mama?”
“Promise not to give up on finding true love.”
“Mama, I can’t promise you that. I-I can’t even think about love right now.”
“Giving up on love is the easiest thing in the world to do, but it takes a lot of courage to love again after you’ve been hurt.”
“All I can promise is that one day, I might try.”
“Fair enough.” She smiled and extended her arms toward me. “Give Mama a hug, honey.”
I wrapped my arms around her. “I love you, Mama.”
“I love you too! So…when are we going to Flood’s? You know I still got some moves on the dance floor. I can do a mean electric slide!”
I laughed. “Oh, Mama!”
CHAPTER 23
Alcohol was abundant at the Channel 5 Christmas party, making it an all-more-festive occasion. I sipped on my third Chardonnay as I chatted with Sam and his wife, a petite brunette with a funny laugh, who shared his obsession with Star Wars films. As they recited quotes from the wise Jedi, the wine buzz went to my head. As much fun as I was having, I also felt like everybody’s third wheel. As I looked around the room, I realized that all of my co-workers were there with a significant other. Even Madison had brought a date, a young police cadet who favored Bow Wow.
After my ugly breakup with Deandre and my depressing visit to see LaNaya behind bars, I wasn’t feeling an ounce of holiday cheer. I thought about staying home, but I knew it was important for me to network with the station producers: One of them might hold the key to my next big story, and, considering that everything else had seemingly fallen apart in my life, my career was even more important to me. Plus, the party was an excuse to get my hair done and show off my badass red Donna Karan dress and Versace shoes. Usually, I felt better when I looked better, but at that soiree, my glamorous appearance and inner sadness were painfully mismatched; in fact, they clashed something awful.