I swallowed the last sip of wine from my glass and picked up my purse. I offered Sam and his pretty wife a quick, “Goodnight,” and an early, “Happy New Year,” then made my way to the coat rack.
Just as I pulled my coat from the hanger, Frank walked in. He smiled and asked, “Are you taking off already?”
“Yeah. Merry Christmas.”
He touched my arm. “Stay and have a drink with me.”
“You should have a drink with your wife.”
“She’s not here.”
“Well, the answer is still no.” I put on my coat and walked to the elevator.
Frank stepped into the elevator with me.
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked.
“I’ve got something to tell you,” he said.
When the elevator stopped on the garage level, I got out, but he continued to follow me. I turned and spat over my shoulder, “I’m going home, Frank.”
“It’s done, Kai. It’s official. Tisha and I are getting a divorce.”
“You don’t have to lie to me. In fact, I’m gonna scream if I have to listen to another batch of your bullshit, Frank.”
He took a few more steps in my direction, till we were standing only inches apart. As he looked into my eyes, I saw the man I’d never really stopped loving. “What do I have to do to prove it, Kai? I want to be with you. I love you so much, and if you give me a chance to be the man I should’ve been years ago, I promise I’ll make it all up to you. If you tell me no, I’ll just have to keep on doing whatever it takes to change your mind,” he said.
“I can’t go there again with you, Frank. I won’t.”
“Why? Because of this Deandre?” He looked down at my hand. “Why aren’t you wearing that fancy ring he bought you?”
I looked away from him, and a tear slid down my cheek.
He lifted my chin up. “Look, whatever happened…well, it happened for a reason. This is our chance to finally be together, baby. For real this time.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that simple. If you’re serious about getting a divorce, then we can wait until after it’s final.”
“That won’t be easy, but if that what’s you want.”
“I won’t allow myself to be hurt again, and my heart needs time.”
He kissed my cheek. “I love you, Kai. I hate myself for ever hurting you. I was a fool, and it won’t happen again, but I’ll let my actions speak for me.”
I ignored the fact that Deandre had said those exact same words once. “Good.”
“Do you still love me?”
“Like I said, we can discuss it after your divorce is final.”
“That’s fair. Can I at least get a hug?”
“Sure.”
As I wrapped my arms around Frank, I realized that being close to him felt like home. Deandre had done some foul shit to me, but even before that, my love for him had only been a fraction of what I’d felt for Frank all along. Deep down inside, I knew Frank was the one for me; he always had been. But this time, I wasn’t going to be a fool. I promised myself not to be intimate with him again until his marriage with Tisha was truly over—real divorce papers signed, sealed, and delivered.
* * *
The next night, I heard the buzzer on my door intercom. LaNaya was my only midnight visitor, and considering that she was still locked up, I knew it wasn’t her. When I pressed the intercom, I heard Frank’s voice: “It’s me!”
“You can’t just come here unannounced,” I snapped.
“So you’re gonna leave a brotha out here? C’mon! Baby, it’s cold outside!”
“Fine. I’ll let you come up, but don’t get the wrong idea,” I said as I pressed the button to allow him entry.
Seconds later, he knocked on my door.
When I looked through the peephole, I was shocked to see that he had three suitcases in tow. I opened the door and asked, “Are you moving in?”
“If it’s okay with you, I’d, uh…can I stay here till I can move into my own place? I put a deposit on an apartment, but it won’t be ready for two weeks.”
“No offense, but you should probably check into a hotel or something. I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to stay here. I still mean what I said about—”
“On second thought, maybe you’re right. I mean, I could find a hotel, but I’d rather be here with you. I promise I won’t try anything, Kai. I just need a place to lay my head.”
I smiled as let him in. “Gimme a minute to set up the guestroom.”
“Why? You don’t think you can keep your hands to yourself if I lie next to you?”
“Please! Frank, you promised!”
“That’s okay. Go ahead and put me in the guestroom. I’m not gonna let you violate me, girl! My mama raised me better than that.”
I laughed as I grabbed some clean sheets from my linen closet.
That night, when I went to bed, I thought about Frank, sleeping in the bedroom right next to mine. I was unable to sleep as I remembered our epic sexcapades, so I was thankful that he was only going to be in my apartment for thirteen more days. I feared that if he stayed any longer, I’d give in and break the promise I’d made to myself about not having sex with him until his divorce was final. And, once I opened the floodgates and broke that promise, I was sure I’d break it over and over again—and in every conceivable position.
* * *
Since Frank and I were on vacation, we spent a lot of time together, enjoying carryout and Netflix movies. He looked even sexier lounging around my apartment in his casual sweats than he did in his designer suits. Don’t get me wrong: I loved to see Frank all dressed up, but there was something very endearing about seeing him relaxed.
Frank knew me so well that he could finish my sentences. On top of that, he made me laugh. As the days passed, I found myself more and more drawn to him. I also liked the fact that he didn’t seem to be hiding anything from me this time. When Tisha called, he answered the phone while I was in the room. Sometimes their conversations got heated, which was to be expected in any breakup, but I heard him tell her several times that he was with me and that he planned to stay there.
I also heard him scheduling an appointment with high-profile divorce attorney. In the past, Frank had only gone through the motions of leaving Tisha so he could keep me on the side, even creating those fake separation papers to trick me. This time, it was clear that he was serious about ending his marriage.
* * *
On the night of Christmas Eve, heavy snow fell outside my window. Frank and I sat on my couch. He massaged my feet and asked me what happened had happened with Deandre. After I told him, he said, “I hate that he hurt you, but I’m not sorry it happened. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here with you right now.”
I asked him why he stayed with Tisha for so long, if he wanted to be with me so bad.
“It had nothing to do with love. Tisha is a chronic cheater, and she likes women as much as I do. She was always down for a threesome, and that shit turned me on. It’s sad for me to admit it now, but that was one of the reasons I married her.
“But she went from sexually adventurous to skank when she started fucking all these random people. She had men and women on the side. After we had kids, I thought she’d slow down, but instead, her one-night stands were outta control, to the point where I didn’t wanna touch her anymore. We even slept in separate rooms, but we kept up a solid front for the boys.
“Around that time, I tried to get back with you, but when I messed that up, I figured I was stuck with Tisha. We went to marriage counseling, and the psychologist encouraged me to indulge her fantasies to help heal our relationship. On that crazy night when we hung out in Atlanta, I didn’t mean to put you in that position, but Tisha put this guilt trip on me and…well, I know that’s still no excuse. What I did was so wrong, and I’m sorry. I later found out that she was sleeping with the psychologist, too, but that’s not the point.
“I’m glad you didn’t go along with it, bec
ause I want you all to myself. I want to give you all of me. I’ve matured enough to know that having the right woman is better than having many of the wrong ones. I’ve always loved you, Kai. I’ve always known that you’re the one for me. I’m sorry it took all of this for me to get here, but now that I’m here, I ain’t going nowhere.” Then he leaned closer to me and kissed my lips tenderly.
I wanted him so bad. He stroked my face gently and worked his hand downward, to my neck and my left breast. I pushed his hand away. “I love you, Frank, but we can’t… I’m sorry. Just…not yet.” I stood up and sprinted to my bedroom and closed the door behind me.
I was so horny that I considered using my vibrator, but I decided against it because I knew he would hear that distinctive buzzing noise and realize I was indulging in a round of battery-operated self-pleasure. I tossed and turned in my bed and stuffed a pillow between my legs. I fondled my breasts, imaging that his hands were touching me and not my own. I let out a sexy sigh and quickly covered my mouth.
Soon, I heard Frank’s footsteps approaching my bedroom door. He knocked and asked, “Are you okay in there?”
“Mmm-hmm,” I said.
“What’s that?”
“I said I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Can I come in?”
I closed my eyes and pictured him inside of me.
“Kai?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you hear me?”
“You, uh…you can’t. No, Frank.”
“You sure about that?”
“No. I mean, uh…yeah…no…”
Frank opened the door and he walked toward me with a wide smile. He removed the pillow from between my legs and climbed on top of me, till I could feel his throbbing erection between my moist thighs. We shared a kiss so erotic that I thought was going to cum right then and there, before he even took his boxers off.
I pulled away. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”
“You sure?” He kissed me again.
“Frank, I…”
He slipped his hands under my t-shirt and caressed my breasts. He whispered in my ear, “I need you, baby.” He pulled my sweatpants off, then pushed my thong aside and slid his middle finger into my soaking wet pussy. Frank curved his finger slightly and stimulated my G-spot.
My legs shook, and I let out a loud moan. As nice as it felt to be touched by him, I lusted for much more. I pulled his dick out through the slit in his boxers. Seconds later, he was deep inside of me. As he moved in and out of me, I screamed Mariah Carey high notes. The pleasure was so intense that I felt tears coming on. I looked into his eyes as I climaxed. As my pussy walls tightened around his dick, I felt him explode inside of me.
He stroked my face. “I love you, Kai. I always have, always will.”
“I love you too,” I said, feeling an indescribable glow inside.
At dawn, yellow sunlight illuminated his handsome face.
“Merry Christmas,” I said, kissing his cheek.
He opened his eyes and smiled. “This might be my best Christmas ever. You’re the gift I’ve been wanting for a long time.”
CHAPTER 24
Outside, the frigid February weather blanketed the city with ice and snow. I stood under the fluorescent lights in Dr. Wilson’s office, dressed only in a backless, disposable, thin hospital gown. Goosebumps covered my bare arms as I took it off and threw it in the wastebasket. I put on my bra and panties and slipped my wool sweater over my head, then zipped up my jeans and sat on the examination table.
My heartbeat doubled as I looked at a poster of women of various ethnicities and ages, captioned: “One in seventy-two women will contract ovarian cancer. Listen to your body and get tested!” Right next to that was another poster with a picture of a young black couple: “Stop the HIV epidemic in our community. STRAP UP!” I prayed I hadn’t been infected with some kind of fatal disease, but I knew something was wrong with me. For the past few weeks, I’d been suffering from severe fatigue, urinating nonstop. Based on my own Internet research, that panic-inducing, self-diagnosis that is never recommended, I’d concluded that I probably had the beginning stages of Type 2 diabetes. Considering that my mother had it and my grandmother had passed away from it, I was sure it would attack me someday. I just didn’t expect to receive such a grim prognosis at the ripe old age of thirty-freaking-three.
A knock came at the door, and Dr. Wilson’s voice asked, “Kai, is okay for me to come in now?”
“Yeah,” I said.
Dr. Wilson opened the door. She was a petite, brown-skinned woman with short, salt-and-pepper hair. She’d been my gynecologist since I’d had my miscarriage all those years ago, so even though I’d been leery of hospitals and people with lab coats and stethoscopes long before that tragic experience, I trusted Dr. Wilson. She always asked plenty of questions, let me ask as many as I wanted, and made me feel like I was in control of my own health. Too many other doctors I’d met, particularly the male ones, liked to think they were experts on every damn thing.
“So…how’s my favorite reporter?” Dr. Wilson asked.
“Not so good, to be honest, Doc,” I explained. “Is it diabetes?” I asked, cutting right to the chase. “Please don’t tell me I have to start insulin. I can’t imagine sticking myself with a needle. Aren’t there pills I can take?”
She laughed and shook her head. “WebMD, huh? No, it’s not diabetes.”
“Oh my God! Don’t tell me I’ve got… Look, I know you told me to always used a condom, but I’ve slipped up a few times. Actually, more than a few times, so—”
“That’s quite obvious.”
I frowned. “Oh God! Is it curable?”
“You don’t have to worry about that, Kai. Your blood and urine tests came back clean, so that rules out any STDs.”
“Thank God!”
“But still, it is very important to use protection, especially if you are not in a monogamous relationship.”
“Yes, I know that, Dr. Wilson. My boyfriend and I have been exclusive for two months,” I said, reflecting on just how serious my relationship with Frank had become. Instead of moving into his new apartment, he’d asked to move in with me. Every morning, we went to work together, and every night, we got down to business in the bedroom. On the weekends, we spent time with his sons. Just the previous Saturday, we’d taken Frank Jr. and Winston to see the newest Disney 3D animated movie, and Cher-Cher and Li’l JJ went along as well. As the six of us sat in the dark theater, eating buttered popcorn and sugary candy, I felt warm inside, enjoying the glow of family and love.
Dr. Wilson looked down at her chart and grinned. “Kai, I have some important news.”
“What is it?” I asked, taking a deep breath, not sure if I was ready to hear the answer.
“You’re pregnant.”
I smiled. “I’m what? Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“I thought I wouldn’t be able to—”
“Based on your medical history, I understand how surprised you must be.”
“Dr. Wilson, I’m so, so happy—too happy for words—but…well, I’m afraid too. I mean, what are the chances that, uh….will I have another miscarriage?”
“I realize that experience was extremely difficult for you, but let’s put things in perspective. That happened six years ago, Kai. Since then, there have been several significant scientific advances to help women who suffer from fibroids. There is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to carry a healthy baby to term.”
A tear slid down my cheek. “I want this child more than anything in the world. After all I’ve been through, I’d given up on ever having my own baby.”
“The months will zip by quicker than you think, and after the baby is born, things will go even faster. I was around your age when I had my oldest daughter. Now, she’s filling out college applications and picking out prom dresses.”
“Dr. Wilson, I-I want to ask you something, but it’s
…well, it’s sort of a sensitive question.”
“Everything you tell me is completely confidential. You have my word, and I’m legally bound by patient/doctor confidentiality anyway. What is it?”
“I know, it’s just that I’m kind of embarrassed about the situation, and I was hoping maybe you could shed some light.”
“Go ahead, Kai.”
“I don’t really know how to say this.” I paused. “I-I’m not exactly sure who the father is. Is it possible for me to find out before the baby is born?”
“Let me begin by saying you have no reason to feel embarrassed. This is a common dilemma faced by women in all walks of life. Now, to answer your question, there is a prenatal DNA test available, but such a procedure is a bit invasive and may pose a risk to the fetus. I would suggest that you wait until after the baby is born.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t wanna do anything to harm my child.” I patted my belly.
“It’s completely up to you, but I would advise that you talk to your partner about it. He might be more understanding than you expect.”
I shook my head. “Boy, that’s gonna be an awkward conversation. He was the father of my first child, and I really hope it’s him. Lord knows I don’t want it to be my ex’s baby.”
“Try not to concern yourself with that right now. Focus on that little bundle of joy. I know you’re going to be a great mother.”
“Thanks, Dr. Wilson. I’m so excited!”
“I’m going to prescribe some prenatal vitamins. You also need to make sure you get plenty of folic acid in your diet. Greens, lentils, and sunflower seeds are excellent sources.”
I smiled. “That won’t be a problem. I can always get down with a good pot of greens!”
The doctor smiled. “Congratulations, Kai. I’ll schedule a follow-up appointment for next month. We should be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat at that time.”
“Really?”
She nodded.
“Wow! That’s so amazing!”
* * *
A few minutes later, I was sitting in my car, saying a special prayer, thanking God for the gift of life growing inside of me. I looked down at my belly and said, “Whether your father is Frank or Deandre, it doesn’t matter. I’m your mama, and I’m gonna do everything in my power to take care of you. I promise to give you a good life, with plenty of love and all the support you need to realize your dreams.