Of everything I’d expected, that hadn’t been on the list. What the hell was I supposed to say here? “We were nothing,” I said. There was no way to disguise the disappointment in my tone. I’d told myself that I was writing this off. Giving up on the idea of the perfect Ash and moving on with my damn life. I was getting the feeling I wouldn’t be able to follow through.
“That isn’t true.” She moved a little closer, now just inches away. I could smell her shampoo. Coconut mixed with some kind of mint.
“It is. You don’t exist where I come from. Or, if you do, we hadn’t met.” The confession stung more than it should have. “I’ve seen you before, though.”
“Seen me on other earths, you mean?”
“A lot of them.” What I felt wasn’t love. We’d just met, for fuck’s sake. But it wasn’t simply infatuation, either. It wasn’t just physical—despite the fact that she was hot as hell and the spark between us could burn down an entire country.
“A lot?”
“Most of them.” My fingers itched to touch her. I knew I shouldn’t. My motives were selfish. I wanted to feel her skin against mine again. I wanted another taste.
“And we were…?”
Silence.
I was intrigued by her. Curious about her past. I found myself wanting to ask questions, to learn what kind of animals she liked and the foods she found disgusting. The answers wouldn’t be textbook. Nope. Not with a girl like this. Kittens and corn dogs need not apply. For the first time, I’d met a girl I found interesting.
“What were we, Noah?”
Fuck it.
“We were together.” My brain was telling me to pull back, but everything else—my heart, my body—shit, even my muscles—were telling me to stay right where I was. “You and me. We were a thing.”
“A thing,” she repeated. She still hadn’t moved, either. “As in—”
“Cade thinks you’re my constant.”
“Like, we’re fated or something?”
“I don’t believe in that shit.” Reality was starting to seep back in. She was beautiful, standing there with her kiss-me lips and those stormy gray eyes, but she was still just an Ash. Another version of the same girl I’d messed around with over and over. And sure, this one was a little different than the others, but what did that mean? Nothing. It had to mean nothing. “Do you?”
She gave a soft laugh but still didn’t pull away. In fact, I was pretty sure she leaned a little closer. “Not even a little bit. But that kiss was…” She closed the small distance between us, stopping a fraction of an inch from my skin. Without touching me, she moved up my neck and across my cheek, her warm breath sending an involuntary shudder through me that was right up there with Pompeii—and just like that chunk of rock, if she didn’t back off, I was going to explode.
I gripped her arms, meaning to push her away, but my muscles refused to obey. “Not the time or place for this.” Yeah. Even I wasn’t convinced.
“Look at our lives. You run from one version of this town to another to catch a killer, and I’ve been branded a killer—”
“Then it looks like it’s a good thing I found you.” I couldn’t help it.
She smiled. I could tell she was trying not to, to be all serious and shit, but she failed—and I was glad she did. “There’s never going to be a time for this,” she said. “Right now? This time? It’s all we have. It’s all we might ever have…”
And without further argument from me, she rose onto her toes and kissed me. Unlike the previous smackers, though, this one was slow. It was more than hormones and lust. It was connection.
And in that moment, I was glad for it.
Chapter Ten
Ash
I’d never really been comfortable around other girls. I’d tried. When I first came to live with the Andersons and they’d placed me in school, my attempts to make friends had been honest but fruitless. Even at that young age, the kids had been programmed to look down on me. I was the girl matriculating well above her stature, the unwanted charity case they all couldn’t wait to be rid of. The boys ignored me for the most part, but the girls…the girls had been downright cruel.
Then, as we all got older, the animosity changed. The whole thing shifted. It went from disgust to jealousy. The Anderson boys were the endgame of every Top Tier girl in town. Even a few of the ambitious Mid Tiers thought they’d get a shot. The fact that I had an in with them, sometimes even coming across as having Noah wrapped around my finger, made me public enemy number one. I ignored it for the most part, never bringing attention to it, but now, sitting in the room alone with Kori, I found myself feeling that familiar need to squirm in my seat. She’d been nothing but sweet to me, but old habits died hard.
“How are you doing with all this?” she asked. Probably couldn’t stand the silence, either. After I finally screwed up the guts to break that kiss—that amazingly perfect right-in-a-way-that-made-angels-sing kiss—Noah and I had met his friend and sister back at the hotel. Not even five minutes inside the door and Cade was dragging him off to deal with something.
I shrugged and pulled my feet onto the bed, tucking them beneath me. “I, uh, guess it’s easier for me than it was for you.” When she quirked her brows, I added, “Noah told me you had no idea about Infinity. That it was a secret?”
“Oh. Yeah. Where I come from, Infinity is a government project run by my dad. Inter-dimensional travel? That was just for books and movies as far as I knew. Then I found out the truth…”
“Your dad…Karl Anderson, you mean.”
“Yes. He’s your stepfather here, right?”
“Foster.”
She looked uncomfortable. “Right. Foster. And he’s… You don’t get along?”
“He and Cora never liked me. They only took me in to gain attention. Noah tells me they’re not the standard representation. Most others he’s encountered have been different.” In the beginning I’d tried to win Cora over. I’d worn the pretty dresses with the over-the-top frill in assorted shades of pink and red. I’d happily allowed her to parade me around town, shopping and eating ice cream in an attempt to showcase our new found mother-daughter bond. I’d even scrambled to catch up in school, studying day and night to pull ahead of the others for the chance to make her proud. Each attempt was met with the same disconnected scowl, then, in later years, flat-out hatred.
She offered a small smile. “They really are.”
A few moments of awkward silence ticked by. I had a thousand questions, and while I swore to myself I’d let it go after that—whatever the hell it had been back at the house with Noah—I found myself more and more curious. “Can I ask you something?”
Her lip twitched with an oddly knowing grin. “Is it about Noah?”
“Sort of.”
She shifted until she was facing me fully, then nodded. “I’ll answer what I can, but remember that I haven’t known him that long.”
“He said that your boyfriend—”
“Boyfriend?”
“Oh. I thought the other guy, Cade, isn’t he—”
She snickered. “I wouldn’t call Cade my boyfriend. It’s so much more complicated than that.”
The way Noah had made it sound… “But you guys like each other, right?”
There was a slight blush to her cheeks. “Oh yeah. We like each other a lot. I’m just not sure what label I’d slap on us just yet.”
“Noah said he’s your constant?”
“Seems that way. He’s been to multiple realities where we were together. We were together where he came from, too.”
“But she died.” My heart hurt for Noah. The haunted look in his eyes when he spoke about his biological sister was raw and tormented.
“She did,” Kori confirmed. There was a twinge of sadness in her voice. “Which is just one of the things that complicates things between me and Cade. There’s definitely something there. Something I want to chase. We’re just being careful, ya know? One day at a time.”
I couldn’t
imagine having to compete with another version of myself. “Noah told me Cade thinks that your brother is my constant.”
Her smile faded, replaced by a thoughtful tilt of her lip and the slight lift of her brow. “It looks that way, yeah.”
“But I had a Noah. We weren’t—it wasn’t—” God. I’d never had trouble describing our relationship before. Of course, that was before I went and screwed it all up…
She sighed. “On Cade’s world, he and I had been together since, like, grade school I think. Everyone expected them to end up together. He was all for it. He was nuts about her—but she wasn’t nuts about him. At least not in the same way. Long story short, he met me and eventually realized that what they had wasn’t what he really thought it was. He’s got a theory about the whole thing.” Pride sparked in her eyes, and it was so obvious when she spoke about him that she was nuts about him. “He has a lot of theories.”
“I think I’d like to hear this theory.”
“Cade believes all the Koris and Cades out there are meant to be.” She laughed and the flush in her cheeks got a little bit brighter. “Stupid, huh? That whole destiny thing used to make me want to puke. But I’ve seen it firsthand now. It’s kind of insane.”
“But you said his Kori—”
“Just wasn’t the right Kori for him.”
“That’s hard to swallow.” And even though I spoke the words out loud, a part of me wanted so badly to believe them. I’d always been captivated by Noah Anderson. The physical attraction I’d felt was nothing short of electric and had, at times, scared me a little. That night I’d kissed him, it’d made me stupid. But when this new Noah showed up, all those old feelings flared back to life and intensified. And when we kissed…I thought for sure we’d burn the entire town to the ground. But he rubbed me in a way my Noah hadn’t. Made me itch and twitch. He said the stupidest things and made me so angry, yet at the same time, made me want to figure out what made him tick. He was confusing and complicated and I found that utterly enthralling.
“Did something happen between you and my brother?”
I didn’t miss how she called him her brother, and I wondered how Noah would feel about that. He’d never once referred to her as his sister, but I got the feeling that he felt the same way.
“Let me guess,” she said. The humor drained from her expression, replaced by what I could only describe as concern. “You feel this insane attraction to him?”
The plan was to answer simply. One word. Maybe two. I didn’t need to give this girl, this stranger, my life story. But the guilt was starting to crush me now, and I felt like the pressure was getting heavier and heavier. “We always had this weird push and pull, me and my Noah. Sometimes when he looked at me I could see the fight in his eyes. The war between staying firmly in the safe zone, and crossing a line we’d both agreed never to venture over.”
Her brows drew together, lips tilted in a frown. Not with judgment, but compassion. “And did you? Cross that line?”
“I kissed him. He asked me not to.” A small snort escaped my lips. “Begged me. But I was selfish. So caught up in the moment, in what I wanted, that I risked destroying one of the few good things in my life.”
“Ash…” Kori stood and crossed to my bed, then settled down beside me. She slipped her arm around my shoulder. It was awkward and stiff, but I still found it comforting in an odd way. “Obviously I don’t have a ton of experience with this kind of thing.” She leaned away and spread her arms wide. “Other dimensions? That’s still kinda new to me. But I do understand complicated. And it sounds like what happened is just that. Complicated. It was just a kiss. One I’m betting he wanted just as much as you did.”
She was right. I’d felt it in the way he’d responded. There was no hesitation. But what I felt for this new Noah was so much more intense than anything I’d ever experienced with him. It was more complex—and that scared me. “Noah—the one that came with you… We kissed, too.” I felt the heat in my cheeks. “A few times, actually.”
There was a sparkle of mischief in her eyes. “And?”
“And… It was nothing like the kiss with my Noah.” I found that I was smiling. Grinning, actually. There was a good chance my cheeks were bright red, too, but in that moment I didn’t care. Just thinking about that kiss made me feel warm all over. “It was…I’ve got no words for what it was—which makes zero sense.”
She gave a knowing nod. “I think it’s the universe’s way of telling us to sit up and take notice, ya know? It’s saying, pay attention because I just dropped this fairly perfect match right in your lap.”
“Perfect match?” I laughed. “It was an amazing kiss, but—”
“He affects you in a way your Noah didn’t, right?”
Did he? It was more than that kiss, wasn’t it?
“You’ve affected him, too,” she said quietly. “We haven’t been here long, and I’m still getting to know him, but I can see it.”
I both loved and hated the sentiment. The rational part of me wanted to dismiss it. Who in their right mind bought into this kind of thing?
On the other hand, the idea that there was this perfect complement to me walking around out there was as insane as it was amazing. The thought that there might be someone who both needed and wanted me—for reasons other than to use me for whatever reason—made my heart beat faster.
“Just…” She hesitated, then sighed. “Noah is a complicated guy. Like I said, I’m still getting to know him, but from what Cade’s said, after his sister died, he kind of spiraled. I don’t get the impression he was ever Mr. Straight and Narrow, but his behavior got a little self-destructive.”
I could see that. He was abrasive and could be cruel, but there was something beneath it all that screamed of pain. This Noah Anderson was hurting.
“Everything okay?” Cade asked suddenly. I had been so lost in thought, I hadn’t even heard the door open and Cade and Noah slip inside, both carrying several bags of take-out food.
Kori slid off the edge of my bed and crossed the room to where Cade was setting a handful of shopping bags down on the small table. “Yep. You?”
“Didn’t have any problems—and we found Odette.”
“Alive?”
“Alive,” Noah confirmed. “And if I had to guess, I’d say Miles and Penny are alive and well also.” He dug into one of the bags, then pulled out a small bag of chips. “Our original theory was right. Doesn’t seem like Dylan is looking for them.”
“But he went after this world’s me?” Kori turned and pointed in my direction. “He tried to kill Ash.”
“I think that was more a coincidence than anything else,” Cade said. He put his arm around Kori, and the way she leaned into him, taking obvious comfort in his touch, made me a little jealous. They might not have defined the thing between them, but she was his and he was hers. They belonged to each other.
“We think he’s focusing on trying to find Ava and fix the cuffs. If they stop working, then he’s stuck here.” Noah opened one of the bags and pulled out a fry.
“So then how do we find him?”
“We don’t,” he said. He settled on the bed across from me, demolishing the single fry and tearing open the rest of the bag. He proceeded to dump out its contents—four burgers and two packages of fries—and start shoveling things into his mouth. “At least not this second.”
“You think we should focus on getting information on Infinity?” Cade didn’t look happy, but he seemed to agree. He dug into one of his bags and pulled out a burger from McDogal’s, then passed it to Kori.
“If we get this world’s Rabbit the information he needs to take down Cora and Karl, then we can figure out a way to get Dylan—and the main cuff—so he can fix whatever’s wrong.” She took a burger, then passed the bag to me.
“He’ll try to fix it,” I corrected. There were three burgers left inside the bag, but I wasn’t hungry. Between everything going on with Cora, and Kori pretty much confirming that this thing I felt—whatever i
t was—for her Noah went both ways, my stomach was in knots.
Besides, I wanted to find that information as much as Phil did. It was the only chance I had at clearing my name. But I didn’t want any of them entering into this under false pretenses. Their Cora and Karl were apparently kittens compared to my foster parents. God only knew how this would all turn out.
“Whatever,” Noah said with a roll of his eyes. He dumped the remaining contents of the first package of fries into his open mouth, then wadded it up and tossed it into the trash. He missed and the foil bag hit the floor. “Point is, we’re in the same boat Dylan is. I, for one, don’t want to get stuck in a world where my parents are murderers.”
“There’s a good possibility that the information Phil—Rabbit—is looking for is something my Noah had. We think we have a lead on Omega, a project Infinity has been working on.”
“Then let’s move on it.” Cade crumbled the wrapper from his burger and tossed it at the trash bin. Unlike Noah’s, his went in. “What’s the lead?”
I could tell Noah still wasn’t convinced the party was anything valid. He sighed and said, “Some party Cora and Karl are throwing tonight. A costume gig.”
“That’ll make it easier for you two to blend in,” Kori said. She’d taken a few bites of her burger, but didn’t seem thrilled with it. It had to be weird, going from place to place. I couldn’t imagine the kinds of differences they saw in the dietary department. Our burgers were made with 100 percent goat meat. Who knew what they were like where she was from.
“All we know for sure is that he marked it on a calendar, along with what we think is his costume choice and some note about doing some duchess at eleven.”
“Doing a duchess?” Kori cocked her head to the side, and with the slight tilt of her head, long hair falling down across her cheeks, I was struck by how much she resembled Noah. She actually looked more like him than my world’s Corey had. “Does that mean what I think—”
Noah threw up his hands. “No clue.”