Chapter Fourteen
When I woke up the next morning I checked my phone and was relieved to see a text from Holt. I read it quickly; he was asking if he could see me today. I texted him back that I had to work for part of the day but would let him know when I was done.
I hadn't slept well. Images of Fairies and Holt and Samuel had been running through my mind all night. I knew I should be grateful that I now knew what was going on, but I almost felt worse. Finding a guy to like was hard enough, but throw in choosing between two and having both of them be princes? And Fairy princes? Yeah, I hadn't slept well.
What had made it all the more difficult was that I cared about Holt so much, and now that Samuel had helped me out of the woods I couldn't hold a grudge against him anymore. I didn't want to hurt either of them. On top of all of it I knew that my parents' fighting had been stressing me out, because I just wanted them to be happy, but imagining them happy and not together upset me. It was hard to think about having a boyfriend when my mom and dad were a mess.
Once I had showered, dressed, and put on a little makeup I felt better, less like a zombie and more like a human. I'd be going about the day on only a little sleep, but I could deal with that. Coffee would be my dear friend.
As I passed Carley's room I saw that the door was still closed. She wasn't scheduled to work that morning, so there was no way she'd be up before ten. Unless Nick called it'd probably be closer to noon.
In the kitchen I quickly ate a bowl of cereal and left the house. The air was chilly, with dark clouds lumbering overhead, filling the sky. As I walked to work I made sure to avoid the Roths' house. I wanted to see Holt, but I wanted to see him when I was ready. I didn't think I could take any more surprises that day.
Since I hadn't bothered to check the forecast before I left the house, I didn't know if it was supposed to rain, but it definitely looked as if another storm was rolling in. Getting soaked wasn't going to help my mood.
I hope it holds off until I get back home, I thought.
Sometimes not having a car was a pain. My mom had promised to teach me to drive this summer, but that was before my parents' marriage hit trouble. Now she'd pushed it back to Christmas vacation. At the rate she was going I'd be a college graduate and still not know how to drive.
When I had said so to her, she said she didn't see anything wrong with that. I told her that if I ended up at college still not knowing how to drive, I'd get a college friend to teach me and I knew she didn't want that. She had just scoffed and said she'd get to it. Now I wished she'd gotten to it before this summer.
By the time I got to work my state of mind was hovering somewhere around the gutter. Even Mrs. Fritters, normally a self-involved twit, noticed that I was in a bad mood.
When she asked me about it I just shrugged it off. "Careful, dear," she said, "you don't want your face to stick in that position."
I imagined sticking my tongue out at her and that made me feel a little better.
An hour before I was supposed to get out of work I heard the first boom of thunder, followed quickly by a crackle of lightening.
A few people came in to get shelter from the storm. One of them happened to be a woman with dark hair, wearing a long red coat. I didn't pay much attention to her at first because there were a lot of customers to ring up. When it was the dark-haired woman's turn I looked up and really focused on her for the first time. Instantly I felt a jolt. She looked so much like Samuel, except that she didn't radiate a cool breeze. She radiated an icy cold.
I could feel my eyes going wide, and I was finding it hard to breathe.
"Autumn," she said. Her voice was dry, icy, like wind swept off snowy mountain peaks.
"Yes?" I said, trying to hide my fear.
"You and I should talk," she said, folding her hands in front of her.
"About what?" I asked. "Is there something you wanted to order?" I pointed toward the menu behind me.
Judging by her reaction it was the wrong thing to say.
Her eyes turned to slits of white anger. "No. And I would suggest that you speak to me with a little more respect." The last couple of words came out as a hiss.
I knew who this woman was; from the bitter cold to the dark hair she reminded me of Samuel. An older, female, and very nasty version of him, anyway.
"You're Samuel's mother?" I asked, trying to be more polite, as she had suggested, and to reference our connection. The whole caf? and all the other customers in it faded away as I focused on her. I felt like I was entering into a massive battle, but no one else in the caf? had any idea that anything out of the ordinary was happening.
"No." She leaned in to me and it felt like winds were whipping around her and pulling at my skin while my hair started to pull free of its ponytail.
"I am the Winter Queen, and you will address me with respect," she said.
Forget idiotic pleasantries. "What do you want?" I asked quietly. My hands were still on the register, so I dropped them to my sides. I didn't want her to see them shaking.
She leaned in closer so that our noses were only inches apart. "You should have listened to Leslie and Lydia when they told you to stay away from Holt Roth, but you didn't. You were stubborn. That was a mistake, so now I'm telling you. If you fail to head my warning, you will not like the consequences." She whispered the last part in my ear.
I expected her to pull away and leave after that, but she only drew back far enough to give herself room to glare into my eyes. What I saw there sent shivers coursing through me.
I'd never seen so much rage and hate before. I had a hard time believing that this was Samuel's mother. Just when I thought I would crack from the pressure of her gaze, she turned on her heel and left.
She left . . . the door swinging open and the driving rain coming in. It took me several minutes to start breathing normally again.
I stood stock still, staring after the swinging door until Mrs. Fritters came out and said, "Autumn, dear, what are you still doing here? Your shift ended fifteen minutes ago."
Oh.
I slowly took off my apron, hung it on its peg, and headed for the door, dreading going outside. For all I knew Mrs. Cheshire was waiting for me and would turn the rain to small bullets of ice falling from the sky that would pound me to the ground. I didn't even know if Winter Fairies could do that, but that was the trouble with having an overactive imagination coupled with not enough information. Disaster lurked around every corner.
I stood right outside the door under the small canopy, but it offered little protection. My feet were already getting wet. I sighed. I was going to get drenched. I had just accepted the fact that I would have to make a run for it when a familiar silver car pulled up in front of me.
For a breath I didn't move, but even as I hesitated for a fraction of a second I knew that my body would move regardless of what my mind decided. It understood what my mind couldn't accept, that I wanted to see him.
I ran to the car, feeling the water hit me as if someone was following me and dumping buckets of it right over my head. The passenger door popped open and I jumped in, closing it behind me. In the driver's seat was Holt, dressed casually in a light blue rain jacket and jeans. He looked wonderful with his hair a little damp and a huge smile on his face for me.
"Good thing you did that," I said breathlessly, pulling the door shut behind me.
"Did what?"
"Opened the door from the driver's seat. Smart Guy Thinking. It's important," I said. "That's what Carley would say."
"Well, we should definitely listen to Carley," said Holt drily. "Thought you might want a lift," he explained. "It's misting out."
"Actually, it's a downpour," I corrected. I couldn't help myself anymore. I smiled back.
"Want to go to my place for a bit? At least until the rain lets up?" he asked.
"Sure," I said. It'd be nice to see his house again.
"Everyone's home," Holt added as he guided the car through the street. "My mom would love to m
eet you." At the mention of his mother I must have looked petrified (well, if she was anything like Samuel's mom I should, right?), and Holt frowned.
I thought about telling him what had just happened but decided against it. I didn't want him to worry and I didn't want him to stop talking to me again.
Desperate to change the subject so that Holt wouldn't keep asking what was wrong, I asked, "Does she know that I know?" I didn't even have to say that I was talking about Fairies, and his mother. Holt could laugh and joke, but this was serious. If his mother didn't want him telling people who he was, he might be in big trouble for telling me.
To my surprise Holt answered me quickly. "She does. She can't order me not to tell you what we are, not when you are . . ." He stopped. I could see he was distressed. "So important," he finished. But he didn't say to what. Was I so important to him? I clearly wasn't important to Samuel, but Samuel's mother seemed to disagree with her son.
"I talked to Samuel," I said. He was pulling into his driveway now. It hadn't taken long to get to his house since he was only a couple of blocks away from UP UP and Away. This time he pulled into the attached garage instead of parking in the rain, not that it mattered to me, since I was already sopping wet.
"What did Samuel have to say?" asked Holt. He tried and failed to sound relaxed.
As I followed him around three other gorgeous cars and into the house, I told him everything that Samuel had said. Basically, Samuel didn't want me and he was angry that Holt did, because the other Cheshires were angry.
The garage led into the kitchen, where Holt offered me a chair while he prepared tea. He was quiet for a long time. He hadn't asked me if I wanted any, but I could tell he was upset and needed something to do.
"Is there anything I can do?" I offered, pointing so that he knew I meant help with the tea.
He turned around and said slowly, "You can. You have to be sure." He wasn't talking about the tea. "Before you accept the Rose you have to be sure it's what you want."
I rocked back on my heels. The intensity of his words made my body turn to mush and I had to sit down. "I can't hurt you," he said. "I can't do that again, that's why I tried to stay away from you. I didn't want Lily to get hurt either, but look what happened. Samuel told you it's his turn, and really, it is. It's very important to his family that he find a bride who can become queen."
But he doesn't want me, I wanted to scream in frustration. Samuel was gorgeous and cold and now that I knew he was a Fairy prince and supposedly my destiny, I knew why it had bothered me so much that he hated me. But I had never experienced a physical reaction to anyone the way I had with Holt. And wouldn't my body know what was right? Damn these polite Fairies and their turn-taking.
"My point," said Holt, "is that if we were free to do as we wished, this wouldn't be an issue. But we aren't. There's my family to consider and the Cheshires as well, so I don't want you to rush. I couldn't bear it if something were to happen to you. I've known that you were meant for the Rose since the second I laid eyes on you at the airport, when you knew right away that something was going on and you handled it so well."
"So, give me the Rose," I said. I knew it sounded demanding, but Holt had to know this was driving me crazy. "I don't want to wait. I don't want to have to decide. I just want to be here. I just want to be with you. If we do it that way then your parents and Samuel's parents won't be able to do anything, because it will already have happened." I knew what I was saying was foolish. I knew I was only saying it because I was confused and scared of the Winter Queen, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't like making decisions and I thought this would take away any questions, then all I would have to do was live with the consequences.
"No." Holt let out a strangled cry and backed away from me, bumping into the stove. He said, "You have to be sure, and I know you're supposed to be with Samuel. So how could you possibly be sure? He needs a queen just as much as I do. He would probably come around to you being the one. Plus, if I take a bride first there will be issues between the Courts, and there has to be something to the fact that you're supposed to be with him."
I looked at Holt. I had known him for less than two weeks, but it felt like a lifetime. I literally couldn't imagine my life without him. When I was with him my parents back home seemed like a far off and distant memory. This felt right. The idea of Fairies felt right. It felt like there was nothing else. "He doesn't want me," I pointed out.
"No," said Holt. "He doesn't want you if you don't want him, which is completely different. And that's not clear to anyone yet."
"Fine," I said, though I didn't feel like it was fine at all. I was too worn out to keep arguing, but I didn't think Samuel would ever want me. Ever was a long time, and the thought of it filled me with a dry ache.
Holt took a shaky breath and fiddled with the tea for a while.
I wasn't sure whether to be glad or not that we'd gotten that conversation out of the way. I had known it was coming, but I'd had only a little sleep and I'd just been threatened by the Winter Queen. I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed and upset. Why couldn't everyone just leave me alone?
Finally Holt looked up and said, "Okay. Come meet my family. My mom is dying to meet you."
He started to tell me about all the places she had traveled to. Talking about his family seemed to calm him down, and I relaxed more when he relaxed, knowing that we were leaving the uncomfortable conversation behind for now.
He led me into a different room than the library I'd been in the day before. This one was all light wood paneling and floral carpets. Flowers were placed everywhere around the room and the white furniture gave it an even brighter feel. This house was the residence of the Fairy Summer Court, after all.
Sitting in one of the chairs was a woman who could only be Holt's mother. I don't know whose mother I had thought she was going to look like, but she definitely didn't look like mine or any of my friends'. Her skin was perfectly smooth, her hair, almost the exact same blond color as her son's, was pulled back neatly in a bun, and the skin around her green eyes had no lines. She was tall and slender, and as we entered she rose more gracefully than I ever could have. I was relieved to realize that she looked nothing like Samuel's mother. Somehow I was worried that all Fairy queens would look alike.
"Holt, dear," she said. Her voice was lighter than Holt's and she spoke clearly and warmly.
For the first time this summer I felt very shy. I had already caused a lot of trouble, and if I had had to guess I would have said that she knew about all of it.
"This must be Autumn," she said, extending a hand.
I took the offered hand while Holt made introductions. "This is my mother, Sarah Roth," he said formally. "Mom, this is Autumn."
"Nice to meet you," I murmured. Normally I wasn't timid, but this was Holt's mom and I knew I was blushing.
"Call me Sarah. Would you like anything?" she offered, smiling.
No way I could call her by her first name!
"I'm fine, thank you," I said. I felt awkward and didn't know where to look.
She invited me to sit, and Holt and I sat on a couch opposite the chair she gracefully slid into.
"How are you holding up, dear?" she asked. She reached one long perfectly manicured hand toward me.
"I'm fine," I mumbled. I wasn't sure how to handle all of this attention. "It's kind of a lot to take in."
"Yes, well I'm sure it is, which is why my darling son here should give us a few minutes to talk privately." She gave Holt a look that would have sent me scurrying to the other side of Castleton, but Holt only nodded. Apparently he was used to his mother's withering looks.
"If it's okay with Autumn" - he looked at me and I nodded - "I'll be back in a few minutes then. Maybe I'll actually finish the tea this time." He pushed himself off the sofa.
After the door closed behind him I wondered if his mother was really that formidable or if he was just worried about me.
"Now that he's gone," she said, settling more comfor
tably into her seat, "really, how are you holding up?"
"I'm fine. Really, I'm not in a bad position. I'm actually worried about Holt," I said.
"Oh, he'll be fine," she said. I didn't know if she said it because she believed it or because she was trying to make me feel better.
I decided to get straight to the point and ask the question that no one had been able to answer for me yet.
Taking a deep breath I said, "How is it possible that both Holt and Samuel could give me a Rose? Shouldn't it just be one of them? And really, shouldn't it just be Samuel?"
Mrs. Roth sighed. "I don't know, honestly. No one seems to. I asked my sister about it. She's really the expert on such things. Of course she doesn't live close by, but she said she wasn't sure either. There is one other person to ask, but it is not my place."
"Who is that?" I was holding my breath and tried to let it out slowly.
"Mrs. Cheshire," said Mrs. Roth grimly. "I believe she may have had a similar experience."
My first reaction was to wonder why one person would want to marry Mrs. Cheshire, let alone two.
She must have seen something cross my face, because she said, "Uh oh. You've already met Mrs. Cheshire, then? I was afraid of that. Well, we will just have to wait and see what happens."
"I'm just confused," I muttered.
"It will be alright dear," she said, rising. She looked worried, but she was trying to hide it, and I wondered what she had to worry about. "Now, let's go find that son of mine. I know Susan is anxious to talk to you too, but please, if there's anything else you need, don't hesitate to ask." She smiled reassuringly at me, but I could tell she was bothered. Just because she had met me didn't mean anything was settled. It was just the opposite, in fact.
I followed her into the kitchen. Holt was sitting at the table across from Susan and they were both drinking tea out of mugs.
As soon as Susan saw me she leaped out of her chair, rushed over to m, and crushed me against herself in a massive hug. I could see Holt over her shoulder laughing.
"If there's anything you need you just let me know, okay?" she asked, staring into my eyes. I nodded, noticing the silver designs of foliage under her skin. They weren't everywhere, just in certain places, and every time I focused on them they shifted and disappeared. I thought back to the afternoon at the lake and realized that Susan felt comfortable enough around me now to let her designs show.
She saw me looking at her skin and grinned. "Normally I'd try to hide them, but at the moment I'm too excited to hide them! During Court sessions they come out more. It's wonderful!" She'd said everything very fast and maintained a tight hold on my hands. Mrs. Roth, who was still standing behind me, excused herself, giving me a pat on the back and Holt a meaningful look as she left.
"Holt said that Samuel talked to you," said Susan, suddenly becoming serious, even worried-looking. "Why?"
When I paused, not quite knowing how to answer, Holt said quietly, "Because he's part of this too. It should be him."
"If it's not, it's not," said Susan, shrugging. "He should just leave well enough alone. Plus, Mrs. Cheshire . . ."
"Anyway," said Holt, glaring at Susan, "we should talk about the Solstice Party."
I was relieved at the change of topic. I was already embarrassed enough.
Instead of worrying more about Mrs. Cheshire, I listened to Holt and Susan chat about the Party. Susan couldn't wait for it. She would literally jump up and down with excitement when they went over some of the details. Apparently there was going to be a fireworks display to rival New York City's, not to mention Fairy-cooked food that would eventually put all of the guests in a blissful stupor.
Eventually, though, I started to yawn. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten, and I was beat. As soon as Holt saw that I was tired he sprang into action and offered me a ride home. Saying goodnight to Susan, who was still going like she had popped five-hour energies every three, I went to the garage and got in the car.
The drive back to Carley's house was too short, as usual. When the house came into view I could see that it was dark. At some point in the evening Carley had texted me, but I'd been so caught up in Fairy talk and Solstice plans that I hadn't answered. I'd talk to her in the morning, I told myself.
I smiled a goodnight to Holt and headed inside. Once I had showered, changed, and gotten into bed I thought to wonder how odd it was that Holt had gone back to not touching me. His touch was very tempting, but I worried that he was avoiding it again because he didn't want to provoke the Cheshires. I fell asleep thinking of fireworks.