Chapter Thirteen
I couldn't sleep, not after everything Holt had told me. I needed someone to share it all with, but how could I tell Carley?
"Hey, by the way, those two families with really hot sons just happen to be Fairies? No big deal!" I realized I could never say that to her.
In the early hours of the morning I decided I should talk to Susan. She'd been so sweet to me, and since she was a Fairy too she might be able to answer questions I wanted the answers to, but didn't want to ask Holt. Bottom line: I was really confused and needed someone to talk to.
While it was still half dark outside, I threw off the covers and showered. Once I was dressed in shorts and a blue t-shirt I headed downstairs to eat breakfast and watch TV. Not for the first time did I miss my mom's cooking; she always made a hot breakfast when I wanted it. I was capable of cracking an egg and putting it in a frying pan, but that didn't mean I should do it, because when I did, it tasted awful. Feeling more miserable than ever, I started to channel flip.
I had decided who I needed to talk to, but I waited to text her until I was pretty sure I wouldn't wake her up.
As soon as I thought it was late enough, I texted Susan and asked if we could hang out. She texted me back instantly to say that it was a great idea. She suggested a picnic lunch and said she'd bring everything we needed; she just wanted to know if I preferred American or cheddar cheese.
After I texted her back that I preferred cheddar, I sat back and relaxed. Somehow she must have known that I wanted to be alone with her, not around a bunch of people. I couldn't very well ask her about Fairy magic in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
The minutes dragged by until I was supposed to meet her. I knew it would help if I didn't stare at the clock every two seconds, but I couldn't help it.
Finally it was time to leave. I grabbed up my tote and headed out the door. We had agreed to meet at the beginning of the same road where Nick had spent the night, and it took me no time at all to get there in the mood I was in. Susan was actually waiting for me there.
"Hi," she said brightly. As usual, she gave me a big hug. She was wearing pastel colors today: pink shorts and a yellow top with tiny blue flowers along the sleeves, plus oversized sunglasses. It was a look I definitely couldn't have pulled off.
"How are you doing?" she asked me seriously, looking into my eyes.
I squinted in the sun. "I'm fine," I lied.
"Uh huh, and I was born with black hair," she said with amusement.
I laughed. "It's just a lot to take in." She'd brought a picnic basket, and I grabbed the handle and picked it up while she carried a blanket.
"So, Holt told you that he told me?" I asked timidly. I wondered how Holt had described my reaction. I'd been in shock, so I could barely even remember what we'd said. I just remembered the gist, the main point: two Fairy princes were fighting over me.
"You must be overwhelmed," said Susan sympathetically, putting an arm around my shoulders for comfort.
"I guess a lot of people would think it's a good kind of problem to have," I joked.
Susan laughed long and hard. Her laugh was always lovely, like a jingle of bells.
"I don't know about that," she said with amusement. "Actually, it's very odd that it even happened at all. It's not supposed to."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well," said Susan carefully, "normally two princes are not born at the same time. For a long time people just thought that the Winter Queen, Samuel's mother, couldn't have children, then she had Samuel, but she was much older than Mrs. Roth was when she had Holt. I looked it up in our histories. Nothing like this has ever come close to happening before."
"But why me?" I almost wailed. It was the same question I'd asked Holt the day before, and above all I wanted an explanation for the feelings I was having. I'd never been a wishy washy girl, and I knew I cared about Holt. I knew that was real, but apparently I was supposed to be with Samuel. But since Samuel wanted nothing to do with me AND his family didn't think I should be with Holt, I had no idea what to do. Apparently, as long as Samuel was in the picture, Holt and I could never be together, which filled me with dread. Carefully, I tried to explain my fears.
We walked while we talked, and finally we got to the picnic area where Susan had been heading, which had a stunning view of the lake surrounded by trees. Susan laid the patchwork blanket down on a soft spot of grass right by the water's edge. There was a gentle slope falling into the lake in front of us, and there was no one else in sight except for a small fishing boat off in the distance.
While I kept talking, Susan set out all sorts of food. It looked like she'd bought an entire grocery store.
When I had finally told her everything, she nodded understandingly. "I don't know what to say," she said sadly. "It's never happened before. You are destined for Samuel, and every other time that's happened it's never even been a question. Basically, you shouldn't feel for Holt the way you do."
"Wonderful," I muttered. "But I do feel that way."
Susan chewed her lip. "We'll figure it out," she promised. "Everyone's just trying to understand right now."
"Yeah, but while you're busy doing that the Cheshires are busy threatening Holt, and me too," I said hotly.
Susan looked alarmed. "That shouldn't be happening," she insisted. Then her shoulders slumped. "But it doesn't surprise me. That's how the Winter Court handles things. Violently."
Now it was my turn to look alarmed.
Quickly Susan said, "Don't worry. It doesn't mean anything. I promise. I shouldn't even have said it. I know they won't hurt you. This is just upsetting for me as well."
I took a closer look at Susan. She had dark circles under her eyes, and beneath the bright smile I could see worry.
"The thing is," I said, "I don't like Samuel and he definitely doesn't like me."
Susan nodded. "It would just be so much easier if you liked him and didn't care for Holt at all. And he liked you."
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" I cried, starting to jump to my feet.
"No, no," Susan said, reaching out her hands to stop me. "That's not it at all. It's just that . . . the Cheshires sort of think they own you. Not Samuel, but the others. They think Holt is trying to steal you away."
"No one owns me," I told her stubbornly. "I'm a person, not some piece of meat."
"I know that," said Susan, "and so does Holt. I even think so does Samuel."
I did realize that somewhere underneath all that sarcasm Samuel was a decent guy. Even if his family had threatened the Roths and me, he hadn't. And I was sure that he wouldn't.
I could see that this conversation had upset Susan. In an effort to cheer her up I said, "Why don't you tell me about Fairies?"
Susan's face instantly brightened.
"What do you want to know?" she asked. In her excitement she almost spilled the pitcher of lemonade she'd brought for us, but she caught it just in time and giggled.
"Well, for starters, in books Fairies can use Glamour or something like it, and Holt said something about it too. Is that true?" I asked.
Susan laughed. "Yes, well sort of. It's not exactly the same thing. We can't really make people see stuff that isn't there. Not for very long anyway. But we can sort of . . . change what they see. If we have to. We can change their memories. If they see something we don't want them to, one of us performing magic, for example, we can make them forget. Just give them a happy memory in its place."
I nodded. Instantly an image of Holt performing Fairy magic popped into my head. It was hard NOT to think of Holt whenever I saw Susan or talked about Fairies, and thinking about him always had a calming effect on me.
I suddenly had an unsettling thought. I knew Holt hadn't tried to use Glamour, but maybe one of the others had. "Has anyone used that on me?"
"Oh no," Susan cried, shaking her head so that her ponytail waved back and fourth. "We would never use that on family. Plus, one of the reasons Holt knew you were s
pecial was that you could see his magic."
I was touched. "You want me to be family?" I asked softly.
"Oh, Autumn, of course!" said Susan. "If that's what Holt wants, then the rest of the family is going to support him. You know about us. After he showed you what he could do back there at the airport, you never said a word about it. You're already family, whether or not you and Holt ever marry."
I felt my heart skip a beat. Marry. Holt. "I'm not sure I'm ready for that," I muttered, blushing fiercely.
Susan gave her bell laugh. "Of course not. Not yet. You're both young, but when you know it's forever you just know."
I didn't want to think about forever. I could barely think about this coming school year, let alone next summer or the rest of my life.
"Anyway," I said, wanting desperately to change the subject. "What about the stuff under your skin?"
"What, this?" asked Susan, holding out her arm. One second all you saw was pale smooth skin; the next instant thin rivers of light were flowing under it. The designs didn't detract from her beauty, they enhanced it. She looked more otherworldly, more Fairy, I guess, when she did that.
"Wow," I breathed.
"Don't be afraid to touch them," she said, holding out her arm. "It's still just my skin. These are the designs that mark me as a Fairy."
"How do you get them?" I asked.
"Through experiences," she said, lowering her arm. "The more powerful and important Fairies have more designs if they choose to show them. Fairies who are just starting out don't really have a choice. Some gave gotten into trouble, because people have seen their designs and thought they were a new sort of tattoo."
I grinned. "Seriously, people thought this stuff was tattoos?"
"Yeah," said Susan, smiling. "Disappearing ink or something like that."
"They're beautiful," I said, and meant it. I wondered how they looked on Holt. Everywhere?. Then the thought of Samuel snapped the idea out of my head.
"Thank you," said Susan. "They are what make us, us. It is a great honor to have designs."
I nodded. For the first time since I had found out about Fairies I realized what it might be like to be one. Susan had started to fill me in on Fairy powers and she had even showed me how Fairies honored accomplishments.
For the first time I realized I might some day be one of them. The thought made me smile.