“Silly kitty,” Seri says softly as she strokes his fur. “You just want to be warm, don’t you?”
Solo meows and roughly presses the side of his head against her hand. He places his little paw on her arm and howls at her.
“He better not be muscling in on my girl.” I glare at him, and Seri snickers.
“He wouldn’t dare!”
I smile at her, but my thoughts turn inward. I can’t remember smiling like this during any of my previous winters in the cabin. Even though Margot has a good sense of humor, I don’t recall ever laughing with her like I do with Seri. I try to remember what it is like to lie here in this same bed all through the winter with nothing to do other than to remember the horrible things that happened in my past.
Seri changed all of that.
“I do love you,” I say softly as I run my hand over her cheek. “I never thought of myself as lonely before, but now that I have you here”—I stop for a moment and swallow hard—“well, I just don’t want to be alone like that anymore.”
Seri leans close and presses her lips lightly against mine.
“You never need to be alone again.”
Epilogue
“Get off the damn counter!” I place my hand on the side of Solo’s head and gently push him until he jumps to the floor. “Training a cat is pointless.”
He whines and rubs against my legs.
“I don’t want him to start another fire,” Seri says, glancing up from her book. “If he can learn to stay off the counters, he can learn to stay off the mantle, and we wouldn’t go through so much kerosene.”
“I still wish he was a husky.”
“If you want a dog, get a dog.”
“I didn’t say I wanted a dog,” I say as I place Solo’s food bowl on the floor. “I just wish Solo was a dog. Not the same thing. If there were one more living creature in this place, I’d have to build an addition.”
Seri waves her hand dismissively and looks back down at the book. It’s the mystery I bought in Yellowknife at the beginning of the winter season, which now seems like a couple of lifetimes ago. We have both been reading the book, switching off after a couple of chapters and discussing our theories. A few times, Seri read out loud to me. Now, she’s reading the last chapter, and I’m still two chapters behind.
Solo finishes his fish, and I wash the dishes from his meal and ours. Just as I get everything on the drying rack, Seri speaks again.
“Okay,” Seri says as she places the book down on the table, “I’m finished. You have to catch up because that ending was—”
“No spoilers!” I yell, and Seri laughs.
“Read faster!”
“Later,” I say. “We need to get the wood brought up from the barn before it gets dark. You ready?”
“Yep. Let’s do it.”
As Seri and I get our winter gear on, Solo meows and runs back and forth in front of the door.
“Solo wants to go out, too,” Seri says.
“I can’t believe how much that cat likes snow,” I say with a shake of my head. “After his beginnings, you’d think he’d never stray more than ten feet from the fire.”
We make our way outside, and Solo prances over the snow, attacking little chunks of ice between the cabin and the barn. As we load wood, Solo sits just inside the barn door and licks snow from his paws.
“Maybe we can make him some little boots,” Seri says. “He’d be so cute!”
“I’ll make them,” I tell her, “but you have to put them on him.”
“Good point.” Seri nods. “That could be a very dangerous activity.”
We finish loading the sled with wood and the last of the fish. Solo helps by jumping to the top of the sled and using the logs as a scratching post. He tilts his nose up and sniffs the air with his mouth slightly open, and I wonder what it is he smells.
Can cats be taught to track game for a hunt, like dogs are?
I look over at Seri, and I see her looking out toward the rocks to the northwest. She bites down on her lower lip and then looks away.
“Never should have told you where I buried them,” I mumble.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
She narrows her eyes at me but doesn’t press the issue. At least now she’s wondering what I’m muttering about instead of thinking of Kyle McGuire’s gravesite.
We load up the sled and haul the wood back to the cabin in good time. Solo rushes back and forth in front of the sled, occasionally jumping on top of it for a ride. Once all the wood has been stacked up inside the cabin, I haul the sled back to the barn.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a bright golden glow. As I walk back to the cabin door, I stare at the horizon as the gold slowly changes to green, and lights streaks across the sky.
“Hey, Seri!” I call out. “Come back out here!”
“What is it?” Seri asks as she pokes her head out the door.
“Look.” I point north and watch Seri’s expression as she stares up into the sky.
“Is that the northern lights?”
“Yep.”
“Oh my God.” She takes a few steps out the door. “You can really see the lights move!”
“It’s a good, clear night,” I tell her. “We could get quite a show.”
As Seri stares at the sky with her mouth open, I head back inside and grab the bearskin rug. I lay it on top of the snow, and Seri and I sit down to watch as the lights change from green to pink, dancing across the sky.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” I pull her closer to me and press my lips to her temple.
“Fucking gorgeous.”
I glance at her eyes and bright smile. Though Seri curses more often than she used to, it still catches me off guard, but there’s no sign of Iris in her expression. Still, I wonder if there isn’t something left of her, buried deep down.
I miss Iris sometimes—Netti, too. Then I think about how strange it is to mourn for someone who didn’t truly, physically die. In fact, the physical form is sitting right next to me, smiling up at the horizon and pressing her body against mine. The scar on her shoulder isn’t bad at all, especially considering the jagged edge of the hunting knife. Going to the clinic had been risky, but I couldn’t take a chance on Seri’s well-being.
No one knows what happened out here but Seri and me. I haven’t even told Margot about it—only that he came here and eventually left, never to be seen again. She gave me quite a skeptical look, but she didn’t press for more information.
“This is really amazing,” Seri says.
“I’m glad you decided to stay with me before you saw it,” I tell her.
“Why is that?”
“Otherwise, I’d assume you’d just want to stay for the lights. You know, there are people who travel all over the world just for the chance to see this. Last year, the lights lasted for a full week, and I had the perfect view right there on the porch.”
“How do they last for a whole week?”
“Do I look like a fucking meteorologist?”
Seri laughs. I grin as I grip her hand, but my grin fades.
“You do still want to stay?” I ask her. “I mean, you aren’t reconsidering living here, right?”
“Of course I want to stay.” Seri looks at me quizzically. “Why would I leave?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. At this point, I can’t imagine Seri not being here, and the idea that she could leave me is troubling. Though I’m used to living with Seri, I still suck when it comes to expressing myself. “It’s cold. The food isn’t great, and you only have me for company.”
“We have Solo, too.” Seri looks back at the sky. “And don’t forget, you promised to take me to that Hand Game tournament next week.”
“I haven’t forgotten.”
I’m not sure if I’m looking forward to introducing Seri to everyone in the community. People are going to recognize her from Kyle’s pictures and ask questions. They’re going to want to know who she is and why that guy was t
rying to find her. As Margot has said, small communities like to know everything about everyone’s business. They’ve learned to leave me be, but I’m not sure how Seri will fare.
At least I won’t have to worry about Iris getting into another verbal sparring match with Margot. Well, I hope not. I can’t be positive, but sometimes I see this glint in Seri’s eye, and I think Iris isn’t completely gone.
Maybe she isn’t. Maybe Iris and Netti are still in there, hidden deep inside. Seri says they are not, but how can I ever know for sure? I’m no more a psychiatrist than I am a meteorologist, and I don’t have many answers. One thing is for sure—I love the woman sitting next to me just how she is, as a single or with the others. I no longer think in terms of what’s real and what isn’t. I’m not sure that it matters. I’m happy. Seri is happy. Who cares about the rest?
I lean against the single woman in my life, and she turns her head to place her lips against mine. The kiss is gentle and warm, and I wonder if we could keep warm enough to have sex out here under the brilliant spectacle of the aurora borealis.
Seri pulls away and snuggles against me with her head on my chest. I wrap both arms around her and glance down. Her eyes are closed, and she’s smiling—perfectly content in my embrace.
When I first found Seri and Iris and Netti, I felt outnumbered. Over time, I got used to the idea of three women inside of one body. Now that they have merged into one, adjusting has been easier. Though I sometimes miss the others, I know I’ll be content with my one and only Seri.
I still have my demons, and I’m still a loner. The bombardment of violent images that used to haunt me has abated. With Seri in my life, perhaps they will disappear completely. I still remain awkward and often unable to “open up” and express myself, but Seri understands and encourages me. She’s there for me, and I am there for her. That’s what a relationship is supposed to be about, isn’t it?
Hell if I know.
I’m just glad she’s here beside me on a bearskin rug. I’m happy she’s satisfied to live a simple life with me in a tiny cabin surrounded by this beautiful, snow-covered landscape.
Just the two of us.
~~The End~~
More Books by Shay Savage
Evan Arden Series:
Otherwise Alone
Former Marine Lieutenant Evan Arden sits in a shack in the middle of nowhere, waiting for orders that will send him back home—if he ever gets them. Other than his loyal Great Pyrenees, there's no one around to break up the monotony. The heat is unbearable, but he makes do with the little he has. He’s accustomed to harsh conditions and simply exists as best he can. The tedium is excruciating, but it is suddenly interrupted when a young woman stumbles up his path.
She’s lost; she’s cute, and he can’t resist the temptation of luring her into his bed. Why not? It’s been ages, and he is Otherwise Alone.
Otherwise Occupied
Evan Arden is a hit man for a Chicago mob boss and moves through life with darkness in his soul and a gun in his hand. Those who know him for what he is fear him, and those who find out the hard way never get a chance to tell anyone else. The few people who get a glimpse inside his head wish they never had. A merciless killer, his only loyalty resides with his employer, the man who calls the shots that rain from Evan’s weapon.
As a POW of the Gulf War, Evan spent months in captivity, and the memories of his confinement combine with thoughts of the woman he left in Arizona. He lives his life day-to-day with little more than the company of his dog, Odin. As insomnia overtakes him, he seeks comfort from an unlikely source, but will confiding in her be his undoing?
He’s struggling to forget his past and to keep himself Otherwise Occupied.
Otherwise Unharmed
After Evan Arden was imprisoned by the enemy for a year and a half, he returned from the desert as a military hero. He’d suffered some minor injuries during his captivity, was discharged from the Marines with a touch of shellshock, but was considered otherwise unharmed. Now he wonders how he ended up where he is—incarcerated in Chicago’s Metropolitan Correctional Center for using his sharpshooting expertise to take out the neighborhood park with a high-powered sniper rifle and multiple rounds of ammunition.
Lia Antonio, the woman he rescued from the desert heat the previous year, is the only person who can bring him out of his sleep-deprived psychosis and mounting PTSD. When she does, Evan knows he can’t just let her go again. He’s never considered leaving the business before—who retires from the mafia?—but he’s determined to get both Lia and himself out of harm’s way.
Evan faces overwhelming forces from multiple directions as a deal to get him out of jail turns more dangerous than he imagined. With a mob war on the horizon and the feds holding evidence over his head, Evan has no choice but to throw himself into the middle of another warzone.
In his efforts to make things right, Evan crosses the wrong man and finds himself on the business end of the crosshairs. With his acute perception and intelligence, he tries to stay a step ahead of his former co-workers, but this time, it isn’t just his own life on the line—he’s got to protect Lia from the man who once called him son.
Isolated
Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome. The mantra is good enough for the Marines; it’s good enough for me. Improvise . . . Near the top of the world, I fight for my life against my opponent, Sebastian Stark. He has the upper hand in strength, but I have the cunning to turn the tables on him. I battle the elements, my demons, and him until Stark and I manage to strike a deal to ensure freedom for us both—and the women we love.
Adapt . . . Being alone comes naturally to me. I’ve spent most of my life alone. Sharing my experiences, opening up to another human being, developing a relationship—all these things are foreign to me. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even meant to be.
Overcome . . . I’ve been away from Lia for far too long, yet I still have commitments I must keep. When I make my way home, I will tell her I have decided to end the life I have led and move on to become the man she needs. I can overcome my demons; I must. But will Lia be willing to wait?
Irrevocable
Have you ever made a mistake?
A big one?
I’m back in Chicago and back in business with my boss, Rinaldo Moretti. So much for my run at a normal life. There are some new faces in the organization, and someone’s been cooking the books. Personally? I think they’re after more than a just little cash. If I have any hopes of flushing out the traitor, I’m going to need to find a good hooker to help me sleep at night.
As the bodies pile up, I find solace in Alina. There’s something about her, something different. She understands me without asking a lot of questions. It’s as if she’s known me for years, yet we’ve only just met. If I weren’t so distracted by business, I’d try to figure out her story. She’s the only one keeping me grounded as my world spins out of control.
I’m going to lose the one man who has ever meant anything to me – the only man to ever call me son. I want to deny his request, but there is no avoiding what awaits me. I never wanted any of this, but I’m out of options, and time is running out.
Some choices have unforeseen consequences, and some choices are simply irrevocable.
Uncockblockable
Nick Wolfe is famous in Chicago—or is that infamous? He’s not only known as the illegitimate son of Mafia boss Rinaldo Moretti, but also as an unstoppable ladies’ man. He always seems to get the girl in the end, even when everyone around tries to plot against him. He’s a party guy, doesn’t work, and spends all his time picking up women and making notches on his headboard. He's the ultimate ladies’ man...or is that man-whore? However, his days of infamy come to a startling halt when he meets her, and she turns the tables on him.
Surviving the Storm Series:
Surviving Raine
As the captain of a schooner catering to the elite on the Caribbean Seas, Sebastian Stark does his best to avoid any human encounters. Interacting with people is
n’t his thing, and he prefers the company of a bottle of vodka, a shot glass, and maybe a whore. There’s no doubt he’s hiding from a checkered past, but he does well keeping everything to himself…
…until the night his schooner capsizes, and he’s stuck on a life raft with one of the passengers.
Raine’s young, she’s cute, and Bastian would probably be into her if he wasn’t suffering from alcohol withdrawal. As the days pass, DTs, starvation, and dehydration become the norm. Even the most closed person starts to open up when he thinks he’s going to die, but when she realizes their traumatic pasts are connected, it’s no longer the elements that have Bastian concerned.
He has no idea how he’s going to Survive Raine.
Bastian’s Storm
Sebastian Stark just isn’t cut out for normal life with a girlfriend in the hot and humid city of Miami. All in all, he’d rather be back on the island where it was just the two of them, and he could keep everything in balance. The bar down the street tempts him daily, but he’s determined to remain strong. Adjusting to normal life is difficult, but Bastian is doing his best to keep himself together and the nightmares away. Raine’s happy, and that’s what matters to him the most.
But not all nightmares can be driven away.
When Bastian’s former mentor comes into the picture and presents him with an ultimatum, Bastian slips into old habits. Though he wants to shield Raine from the truth, the shady circumstances of his past form into a hurricane he can’t control. In an effort to protect her, Bastian has no choice but to throw himself back into his old job—death match tournaments—just one last time.
Dropped into the arctic wilderness with weapons loaded, Bastian has to compete against representatives of major crime lords from all over the States. He’s studied his competition; he knows their weaknesses, and he’s ready to battle for the woman he loves. There’s only one opponent in the mix that causes him any concern. In order to guarantee Raine’s safety, Bastian will be pitted against the key hit man for Chicago’s largest mob family—a guy who’s known as one hell of a shot.