Chapter 3/The power of dreams
That night Selah went to bed, thinking she would again try to discover what she could in that other place, world, whatever… She was overtired she knew, her aunt was coming in the morning, thank goodness her mom was stable. Her dad had called a little while before Selah went to bed.
Tracy’s parent had come to pick her up around 9; she had left her bike, saying she would pick it up tomorrow. Her thoughts drifted to Daniel and the sincerity he had shown her. She picked up her phone looking through her contacts and saw he had taken a picture of himself and put it next to his number. She stared at the smiling face looking back at her, and couldn’t help but grin. She sent him a message, “Thanks again Daniel, my mom’s doing ok, gonna try and sleep, sweet dreams.”
Selah put her phone on the night stand thinking he wouldn’t answer too quickly, as she reached to shut off her light she heard the phone vibrate gently. He had answered “That’s good I’m glad, try not to worry too much and get some sleep, maybe I’ll see you there in my dreams, good night my beautiful Selah.”
Instantly Selah felt better he was like medicine for her, a drug. She turned off her bedside lamp and turned onto her left side, she always put a pillow in between her legs. She had finally gotten comfortable thinking of Daniel, he had said she was his, she could handle that, being his and only his…she drifted …and felt her spirit and body actually disconnect…she was in a field of purple flowers, the smell of lavender reminded her of the bath salts her mom used. Selah looked at what she looked like, she glowed brightly and was wearing, a long flowing gown, it was made of a shear fabric and she was completely naked underneath, she had had Daniel in her thoughts. Maybe she wanted him to see her in that, then he’d think I was beautiful on the outside too she thought, she raised her eyebrows grinning wickedly.
With Daniel still in her thoughts she wondered if she could somehow find him, deciding to go to where she had found the millions of lights she had went to the previous time she was here… Selah let herself go and flew straight up in the air, this place was awesome…it had gravity when you needed it but if you didn’t, well she was flying, she felt free. She reached the outside again and saw all the million lights, like stars shining in the night’s sky. She felt drawn to one and went towards it, she found herself inside the dining room of her house… her mom was at the rocking chair cross-stitching again, and she was brighter in color this time, last time she was washed out greyish.
Selah walked over to her and began saying here name, Diana rocked and hummed softly, Selah kept repeating her name…All of a sudden Diana turned and looked straight at her and said “Selah honey, is that you?” and then she disappeared.
Selah was confused, but realized her mom was probably in a dream, and hadn’t really seen her. She went back again to the outside realizing how comfortable she had become there, she began to look at all the different lights and suddenly she felt like she was pulled into the wake of an extremely bright light, it was so bright her eyes began to burn, she lost control of her momentum and plummeted to its center.
She opened her eyes and saw Daniel with skates on showing a young boy how to skate, she was surprised at how bright his colors were, it was as if he were alive, the little boys colors also. The boy tripped, and Daniel stopped and helped him up.
As soon as Selah arrived Daniel felt her, she was getting stronger he was surprised she had found him so soon, she had only been sleeping a short while. He wondered if she was aware of her dream, or if she had unconsciously found him. He cautiously turned as he got closer to her; he had to see if see was aware.
Selah watched as he turned and began skating towards her, as he got closer he lifted his head and looked straight at her, he couldn’t be seeing me she thought…isn’t this just his dream…
Daniel looked away as fast as he could realizing she was completely awake her aura was here strong, too strong for her knowledge of the place, she could be in grave danger and she had seen him look at her…already he thought she truly wasn’t ready for this. He pulled her to him…
Selah found herself in the café and Daniel was in front of her with a strange look saying “Aren’t you gonna pour me a cup…”she had the pot of coffee in her hand and he was holding a cup…she looked at him confused and began pouring the coffee as she heard him say, “You should really be careful with what you’re doing…you could get hurt.”
Pouring coffee would hurt me? She wondered what that meant as she looked and saw she was in her English class, as her teacher Mrs. Bradshaw looked at her and said “You really shouldn’t play with things you know nothing about; Selah you have to learn how to listen, there are rules you know.”
Daniel hoped she was grasping the messages he was trying to put across to her, she truly didn’t know anything about the void yet, but here she was flying by the seat of her pants, unafraid, she really hadn’t changed at all, she was so reckless…she proved it as he watched her clothes changing rapidly right before his eyes, she even had had a sheer number that had taken his breath away…yes she had grown up nicely he thought…he was glad she thought it was only her teacher before her, Mrs. Bradshaw.
Selah tried to focus her thoughts as she realized she had no control here, where was Daniel? She wondered, and why was Mrs. Bradshaw so bright…maybe she didn’t understand how this place worked, she was confused. She closed her eyes and pictured Daniel with every fiber of her being…
Daniel lost his grip on his strength and found himself standing in front of Selah. She had willed him to her…man was she ever strong, even though she had no idea what she was doing…
Selah smiled angelically and said “I know you won’t remember this but I found you, here in your dreams.” She then reached up and pulled his face to her’s and softly kissed his lips.
Daniel was surprised and excited by her frankness, as he let his lips linger unto hers, tasting her…she thought this wasn’t real…he couldn’t stop himself now…he lifted his hands and pulled her even closer to him, as his lips parted hers and he brushed his tongue lightly against her lips, tasting her perfectly straight teeth, savouring every second.
Selah felt her body burn with longing, this was the best dream…he wanted her here… she would stay here forever.
Daniel lifted his head from hers looking deeply in her eyes, he lifted his hand, as his fingers gently closed her eyes and said “Sleep my angel” Selah felt her body return to her bed, as she clutched her pillow tightly as she moaned one word “Daniel.”
The next morning Selah woke with a smile on her face thinking of Daniel and the kiss she had dreamt of, if the real thing was only even a fraction as good as that, she would be in putty in his hands. As reality crashed down on her, she grabbed her phone and texted her dad “How’s mom did she have a good night?” again feeling guilty for having a second of joy as she thought of Daniel. Her dad reassured her that her mom was ok, she had slept most of the night…Selah told him she would come to the hospital for a visit as soon as she had dressed and had breakfast. Her dad agreed saying he would love to come home, shower and make a few calls.
Selah jumped in the shower quickly washing up and getting dressed, she went downstairs she realized in all the commotion Gunner had been sorely neglected. She let him in, his tail wagged frantically as he came over to her wanting to be rubbed behind the ears. She sat on the floor and gave him a big hug, he was so soft and cuddly, he licked her face and gave her his left paw, he wanted some toast…she popped a few in the toaster and put loads of jam…she ripped a few small pieces off, giving it to him for a treat…all the while telling him about her mom…and of course Daniel…he looked at her lovingly as if he understood everything she was saying…she made some toast for herself along with a bowl of cereal…Gunner so happy to finally have some attention patiently listened to all her tales…
Selah went out and made sure he had food and water for the day…she cleaned up her dishes...checked on Jacob, still sleeping…it was the weekend still… then reached for her co
at remembering her gloves this time…again she thought of Daniel. She would text him after she saw her mom at the hospital she decided.
As she drove to the hospital, she remembered her Aunt Eve’s phone call the night before…she would be arriving this afternoon sometimes…her dad had mentioned having to go to the city so her mom could have some test done, Aunt Eve would probably stay with them while they were gone.
When she got in her mom`s room, she noticed she was awake and her head was propped up with pillows, she gave Selah her half smile, and lifted up her good hand waving. Her dad was sitting on a cot the nurses had given him the night before to sleep on. He smiled at her, glad she had arrived, Selah sat on the bed as she had done yesterday clutching her mom`s hand again, she began talking to her as if everything was the same and she had never had a stroke…
Her dad got up and told her mom he was going to go wash up and would be back soon, he reached down and kissed her, squeezing her tightly. As soon as her dad left Selah began telling her mom about Daniel…she explained the café where she had first met him…and how he had walked her home last night…
Diana saw how Selah`s eyes lit up every time she mentioned Daniel`s name, she was surprised at how fast she had fallen for this boy…Selah was usually pretty level headed when it came to boys…this one was obviously different…
Selah pulled out her phone showing her mom his picture…Diana smiled and gave her the thumbs up sign with her good hand…if only she could speak, so they could talk girl talk about this handsome fella…they had never talked that way…Selah had never shown any interest in anyone before…she prayed they would be able to eventually.
The time passed very quickly and before they knew it Selah’s dad was back with Jacob right behind him, Selah gave them some time together and went to the cafeteria for a coffee, she decided to text Daniel “Hey, did you sleep good? Just saw my mom and she’s doing much better,” she wrote.
She got back to her mom’s room, they began talking about what would be happening the next few days…her mom and dad would be going by ambulance to the Victoria General hospital in Halifax so her mom could have a MRI and a CAT scan on her head to see how much damage the stroke had cause, and also to see if they could see the reason for the stroke in the first place. Her dad had made arrangements to take the next week off of work. As Selah had figured her mom’s sister would stay with them.
Selah told her dad she had asked for some time off of work as she didn’t think she could concentrate on that…Jacob and Selah agreed they would go to school in the morning.
Selah felt her phone vibrating she immediately checked it, thinking it was Daniel…Thomas had left her a message instead… “Sorry about your mom, I just heard are you alright?”
She texted Thomas back “She doing alright so far, me too I guess, I’m at the hospital now.”
“Call me later if you need to talk, ok” he messaged back.
Selah answered that she would, she visited a while longer with her mom and then headed home with Jacob in tow.
When she got home, she made some lunch for both of them; she let Gunner in…if she tried hard it felt like a normal Sunday…her mom was just out…
Selah settled in to do her homework for the next day, she had just begun studying for a chemistry quiz on the periodic tables when she saw her phone vibrate on the table…she hesitated trying not to hope it was Daniel…
“Sorry I took so long to get back to you I was on the ice with the team. I’m glad your mom’s better. And yes I slept really well, you any good dreams?” she smiled as she read his message.
Not wanting to sound too needy she waited a bit before she answered him…pretending she was busy…Selah drummed her fingers on the table wishing the time to pass...unable to wait a second longer she wrote, “That’s ok, and yes I slept good too.” She could still feel the kiss from last night’s dream; she put her fingers to her lips tracing the path his tongue had left.
Daniel texted her back instantly “Do you want to get together today?”
Selah felt her pulse quicken as she thought of seeing him again, “Yeah, sure what do you have in mind?” she asked.
“I have to drive the Zamboni this afternoon in between a few games and its really boring waiting in between the periods, want me to come get ya?” Daniel asked her.
“Yeah, that sounds… interesting, when are you coming?” she answered him.
“Is fifteen minutes too soon?” hoping she would say yes, and she did..
Daniel left the arena remembering what had happened last night and how bold she had been…thinking she was dreaming…her kiss had left his blood hot…
He pulled his car into her driveway a few minutes later…honking the horn, she came out a minute later wearing a fuzzy hat, gloves and a scarf, as she got in the car he couldn’t help but laugh “Are we going to the artic?” he teased she was definitely more modest than the night before…the sheer outfit…he felt his face warming remembering…
Selah looked at him incredulously, “I’m not freezing my butt off today, the arena is usually cold.”
Still laughing he pulled her hat back and looked at her, “Just making sure I’m picking up the right girl, you look like some small fuzzy animal…but an ooh so cute one”
Selah punched his armed lightly acting offended…then laughed and asked him “Is it really that bad?”
“You’re adorable, like a furry kitten I used to have… I see you have claws too, just like the other kitten.” He feigned being in pain, rubbing his shoulder.
“Good, you deserved that,” she teased him back enjoying their repertoire… he was so easy to talk to.
When they got to the arena, he got the Zamboni ready as a game was just ending, he helped her get on, Selah felt incredibly special being there with him. He had scooted over giving her just enough room to scrunch in next to him, as they made their way around the ice he told her how he covered for the regular Zamboni driver on Sunday’s so he could have a little break.
Selah noticed some girls sitting on the bleachers, they were pointing at her and talking frantically…that’s right girls I’m with him…not you, Selah thought gloating deep inside. It felt so right being with Daniel she turned and smiled her best smile at him.
Daniel smiled back at her, happy she had agreed to spend some time with him, he felt complete with her, whole again. They laughed and played around the rest of afternoon.
Selah, got home later feeling as light as air, as Daniel pulled out from her driveway promising to talk to her later, she noticed her aunt had arrived… her car was parked in the driveway.
As she opened the door to the house she heard Eve rambling on as Jacob sat at the table listening, as Selah got in the kitchen her aunt grabbed her hugging her close, tears in her eyes, as she began talking a mile a minute. Selah raised her eyebrows looking at Jacob as he rolled his eyes back in his head… Selah cut her eyes at him giving him a stern warning look, to be nice…
Selah understood why Jacob was annoyed as she listened to Eve talk to them both as if they were under the age of 4, she had been spending way too much time with toddlers obviously. She cornered Jacob, he announced he was going to his room to do homework; clearly he was frustrated if he was offering to do his homework on a Sunday afternoon…Selah reassured him that she most likely wouldn’t be here long, and was just trying to be helpful…
Selah began putting things together to cook a roast for supper, surprising Eve immensely on her skills in the kitchen, she settled down after that as she sat at the kitchen
table drinking her third or fourth cup of coffee. The caffeine was definitely making her antsy…
Selah finished putting the spices on the roast and grabbed her own coffee, sitting down next to her frazzled aunt… “You know we could of done alright all by ourselves… mom has always made sure we were independent and in two years I’ll be heading to university already.”
Eve looked at Selah actually seeing her for the first time as the women she was…she sig
ned deeply and confessed to Selah, “Your mom was always the strong one in the family, I see your just like her…she’s lucky to have raised such a beautiful family…when I saw how she was in the hospital, I was just so worried… that I would have to try and hold everyone together…And I suck at that, I mean really suck…I sometimes forget Parker or Jewel’s Dr. appointment’s for god sake…I’m the opposite of organized.” She wrung her hand together in exasperation, clearly a mess. “I want to help you guys…be here for you all…but I’m scared I would be more of a nuisance than actual help…” her eyes filled with tears, “if Diana could talk she would tell you, it’s true.”
Selah grabbed her hand, shocked at her honesty, she had no words to say and she couldn’t find the strength to reassure her…she needed all her strength for herself. What was happening with her mom was beyond her control and the lump forming in her throat told her the worse was still to come…
Selah finished her homework and decided to touch base with Thomas, knowing he would be concerned, and after all he had been there for her the past few months. She called him, and told him to meet her at the park…
Thomas waited on the swings, glad that Selah had phoned him, he was really worried about her, he hoped she would let him in more…they joked around a lot but she never leaned on him when something came up…maybe this time…
Selah spotted Thomas and walked over to him, she sat on the swing next to him, “Well, I think I have officially had the most frigged up weekend ever…” she wondered how much she could confide in him…
Thomas said nothing, waiting for her…
Selah began telling him “I’m really worried about mom, she can’t speak, or move one side…” she then and there decided to confide in him “I’m scared that we might actually lose her Tom…my gut instincts say this isn’t the worse…”
Thomas had never had anyone he really loved die, he didn’t know what to say as he turned his swing to face her, “I’m sorry Sel, I hope she gets better and you’re wrong about you feeling…maybe it’s just cause you’re really worried that you feel that way.”
Selah thought about that, and wished it was that simple, she knew deep down it would never be… “There something else I want to tell you about…I met someone, Thomas, someone incredible…”
Thomas felt his heart shrink in his chest, hoping for a second she was joking, and secretly wanted him. “Really, when did you have time to meet someone, with everything that happened…?”
She turned her swing and faced him, a dreamy look in her eyes as she began to speak, “Friday night at the café, he came in and I waited on him, his name is Daniel Evans, have you ever heard of him?”
Holy crap, him! His sister had the biggest crush on him since he moved in town 3 years ago, he had been in her graduating class…for a year all he heard about was Daniel this… Daniel that… he was much older than Selah… he wouldn’t be interested in her. “I’ve heard a little about him, doesn’t he play hockey…isn’t he like 20 already or something?” trying to dissuade her and prevent her heart from being broken, he had probably just said “hi” to her and she was head over heels…he assumed he wasn’t done hearing about Daniel, if Selah had a crush on him.
Selah lifted her legs in the air and let her swing go round and round after she had twisted the rope going in a circle. She began to laugh, “He makes me feel like this, Tom, all dizzy and light headed.”
She was gonna be crushed when she realized he didn’t want her…well I could be the one picking up the pieces, Thomas thought smiling, “That’s great, Sel, but do you really think he’s right for you?” trying to bring her down to reality.
“Oh that was Friday night, I went for a walk to tell Dave at work about my mom, and ask for some time off, and I ran into him again…he walked me home, and we’ve been texting ever since…and today he picked me up and I went to work with him at the arena…I actually was on the Zamboni it was so awesome…he gets me Thomas he understands a lot…he lost his dad to cancer.”
Thomas was speechless, he had picked her up…they were texting? He was most likely using her, thinking he could get into her pants…if he saw him he would give him a piece of his mind. “Selah isn’t he too old for you, you should be careful he might want more than you want to put out…” he hated being so blunt, but she had rose coloured glasses on as far he could see…
Selah slammed her feet down and stopped herself from twirling. “Give me a break, Thomas, I’m 17 years old and never been kissed, if he’s willing, well I don’t have to spell it out for you, do I?” She thought he would be happy for her, that something was going right with her, she was wrong to have confided in him “Listen just forget about it, I thought you and I were friends, I poured out my heart to you about all the crap that been going on these past few days and I thought you would be glad that there was a light for me at the end of the tunnel.” Her anger beginning to bubble to the surface, she realized he hadn’t done anything wrong but she couldn’t help herself after she began… “I thought I could trust you…maybe I should of just…” She jumped off the swing as it came to a stop, “never mind this was a bad idea…”
Thomas realized a little too late, he had gone too far…she was already on an emotional edge with what was going on with her mom…he should have just listened… “Sorry Selah, I really care about you I don’t want to see you getting hurt…you’re going through so much already…don’t be mad, please, I just want to help.” He tried to stop her as he ran, he touched her shoulder, the anger there in her eyes, made him release her. “Please, Sel, I didn’t mean it, give me a chance to explain, I was jealous ok.”
Selah put her head down knowing she hadn’t wanted that information out of him, it complicated things even more between them…her voice soften as she said “Thomas,
we’re just friends I…I don’t feel that way about you…I thought you knew that…and Daniel isn’t like that…”
“I know Sel, but that’s why I reacted that way, I know we are just friends and that’s all…I’m ok with that, really…I just can’t stand you being mad at me, and I never had to deal with another guy in the picture…I’m only human, and if he hurts you…well, I’ll put a hit out on him,”
Selah couldn’t help but smile at that last comment, “Ok, tough guy I’ll tell him he’s been warned!”
“I’m serious, Sel, and don’t worry I’ll tell him myself if I see him,” he puffed up his chest like a peacock. “You only deserve the best, you’re something special Sel, and if he doesn’t realize that, you’re better off without him…”
“Plenty other fish in the sea, right?” she teased him “Not to mention the dolphin coming to my rescue right now, right…?”
Thomas smiled brightly glad they were back on track “Well since you mentioned it, you did pick the right mammal, dolphins are extremely intelligent you know, and hey who doesn’t want to swim with the dolphins in their life time?” he winked wickedly at her.
Selah grinned at him shaking her head, as she walked back to her car, he was such a tool…but he would stand beside her, through thick or thin… that she was certain of.