“Don’t ruin it, crazy girl. I’m serious. That was insane.”
Tristan held my face with both her hands and I held her close, not wanting her body to leave mine. Ever. “It didn’t work the way I’d planned. I only meant to give you all my energy; I didn’t mean to take yours. Wow, Ty.”
I didn’t really have energy swapping conversations with people and so I didn’t. “We made a mess,” I said instead, my eyes shifting down. Well, I tried anyway. They stopped on her full breasts and I kissed her, right between them on her soft chest.
Tristan sighed and got up, moving to the small space between our bed, and Baby-T’s little room. She retrieved a blue towel from below the counter and wiped herself and then tossed it to me while I tried to read the mood, watching her pull on cotton yellow panties with turquoise trim and a Snoopy t-shirt.
“Who needs lace to be sexy,” I said in a smile and it was the truth. I’d take her in her a cartoon shirt over black lace any day. Not that I could even picture her wearing such a thing.
“Lace is a lie and sexy is propaganda. Girls are programmed from a very early age what they need to look like to be sexy. Most of them never look like that and are too embarrassed by their body to wear it. Half of the women don’t even take their shirts off because they feel too ashamed of their body. That’s so messed up. Girls nowadays think they have to look like everyone else to be happy. And they’re taught that from a very early age. Teach them about their own chakras if you want a happy kid. The only person they need to worry about making happy is themselves. Moms would rather their daughters be head cheerleaders than happy.”
“Tristan.” I quietly interrupted.
“What?”
“Can you stop trying to change the world tonight?”
“Uh. Yes. Sorry. I’m trying, Tobias. It’s hard now that I’m around people who have the same humanity bug. I’m not one for small talk and I don’t care about your passion pink poison.”
I rubbed my right eye, trying to figure out what the hell she was going on about now. We were moving on to passion pink poison? Who knew what the hell that was. “Poison?”
“Fingernail polish. Triphenyl phosphate, or TPHP. More than fifteen-hundred-nail products including polishes contain TPHP. There finding it in blood test with women and have now linked the two together. I’m not saying don’t do what makes you feel happy. If you think you need fingernail polish to feel pretty than by all means, paint away, but at least know what you’re buying. You know. Start doing a little bit of research before you get in line.”
“Tristan.”
She took in a deep breath, her passion calming into a sad tone. “Sorry. Do you want to watch I Origins?”
I didn’t want a thing between us, but I felt one. “Um, yeah, sure. Did I say something wrong?”
Tristan smiled a crooked grin to the right, her head tilting in the opposite direction. “Nah, you’re doing fine, T. Let’s watch the movie,” she warmly said, her body falling into mine.
Tristan set up the movie on her laptop while I pulled out the sofa, creating a bed big enough for three people. I really don’t know why though. We didn’t need the extra space. She retrieved sleeping Baby-T, caressing his head with her lips. With her back against my chest, and her baby next to her, we settled in for a movie. We watched the strange, but thought provoking movie in silence, Tristan laying in my arms and Baby-T in hers.
The movie had barely started when I questioned it, ignoring the part where the lead dude followed the elevens to her eyes. “She’s the love interest?”
“Yes. Can’t you just feel the connection between them, T? This is the first movie I’ve ever watched that I have actually felt the twin flame connection. Like us,” she said, her lips meeting my jawline with a quick kiss.
We made it to her favorite part and she repeated it, word for word. “You ever feel like when you meet someone, they fill this hole inside you…and then, when they’re gone, you feel that space painfully vacant? Ahhh! I love that so much.”
You would have thought it was Tristan’s first time seeing the movie. She definitely wore her heart on her sleeve. It sounds a little out there, but I could feel that from her. I didn’t know if I was ready to admit that it had anything to do with energy swapping or not, but it was no doubt something. My chest warmed and my skin tingled with her emotions; the excited ones, the sad ones, the angry ones, and the ones filled with love. I should have known something horrible was about to happen. Tristan sat up, her fingernails between her teeth and her shoulders hunched around her neck.
I sat up, too when it happened, unbelieving of what had just gone down. Not what I was expecting at all. “Are you serious? She died? I hate this movie.”
“Shhh, just keep watching. They find each other again.”
I didn’t want to watch anymore, and I didn’t want Ian Gray to be with anyone but Sophia. I didn’t even like Karen. They didn’t have the same connection as Ian and Sophie did. As strange as the movie was, I couldn’t stop watching it. Tristan was right. It was intense, thought provoking, and raw. Quite possibly the most captivating movie I’d ever watched, especially with a girl. This girl. My girl in my arms, and a sleeping baby beside us. Her, me, and Baby-T.
Even after the bazar movie, we talked about it. “We’ll find each other again, T. I know we will. If not this life, the next one.”
“I don’t like the way that sounds. Let’s just make a pact to stay together in this one.”
Tristan curled into a ball, snuggling Baby-T as close to her as she was me. “I think Sophia was only meant to cross Ian’s path. You know…To wake him up. Just because you’re twin flames doesn’t mean you’ll always be together. I don’t think it works like that. I do believe I’ve known you for thousands of years though, I believe I’ve loved you through countless lives, and I’ll love you in many more.”
Her tone sounded a little too dark and dramatic for me, and honestly, I didn’t want to think about us not always being together. I’d die without her. Literally die. Instead of continuing the morbid conversation, I moved the curtain. “Look at the moon, T.”
Tristan tossed an arm over my head and fingered my hair, her eyes moving to the moon over the tall dark pines. “It’s so beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful and I love you.”
“I love you more. I’m going to close my eyes now. Baby-T will be waking up to eat soon.”
“I love him, too. I’m glad he’s here.”
“I know you do. Night, T.”
“Night, T,” I replied with a soft kiss to her head, only I didn’t close my eyes. I stared up to the bright moon and stars feeling…different? I don’t know how to explain it. Tristan made me think things I didn’t think about. Things that were never important to me before. I thought about the movie for a bit, and then the sky. What if she was right? What if someone really was spreading chemicals the sky? Better yet, why wasn’t it being talked about more? Why were we allowing it, and what did it mean for our future? For Baby-T’s future? I didn’t think Tristan wore a tin hat at all. She wasn’t like that. Yes, her mind and eyes were wide open, but she didn’t just believe something someone told her. She did her homework, and she could hold her own in a debate that she strongly believed in without faltering. Tristan knew her stuff, and even when I didn’t believe her, a little bit of my own research usually changed my mind. This was no different. I witnessed it for myself, and with everything in me, I knew that trail shouldn’t have spread and stayed in the air for hours afterward. Anyone who wanted to look up and see for themselves could see it. It wasn’t hard at all. Scary as hell, but that’s what I loved about her. Tristan stood up for what she believed in. Tristan stood up for all of us. Tristan stood up for humanity and she didn’t care if it made her stand out.
The next thing I remembered was waking up to Tristan’s excitement. “Tobias, wake up. Look out there. Oh my God. I’ve never seen this many people at a rally before. This is it, T. This is the change. This is the resistance. Come on. Let
’s go. I want to go say hi to everyone coming. This is huge.”
My nose scrunched and my eyes squinted at the bright light from her abruptly, opening the side doors. “What?”
“Wake up. I want to go. Look outside, Ty.”
With my hand over my eyes, trying to block the sun, I sat up, still trying to wake up. “Holy shit. That’s a lot of people.”
“I know. Now I’m going to be nervous.”
“Why?”
“You’ll see. Come on. I’ll make us oatmeal.”
I looked out the window again, seeing a field full of campers, vans, pickups with caps, cars with people setting up tents, motor homes, and a line waiting to get in. Looking back to Tristan, I scratched my head. So help me God, if that girl told me I’d see, one more time… Why couldn’t she just tell me? I hated, you’ll see. If she thought for one second, I was having anything at all to do with snakes or hot coals, she was crazier than I thought.
For whatever reason, Tristan was on top of the world; happy nervous energy permeating all around her. Once I’d spent a few minutes in the bathroom tent, I met her with a fresh mouth, and a sweet kiss. “You’re very happy this morning.”
She smiled and fell right into me. “Of course I am. I had the most amazing night last night, right down to the deep sleep, and now this. This just goes to show you that you don’t need social media to plan an event.”
“You planned this?”
“No, not exactly. I just told a few people I’d be here. You’ll see tomorrow night.”
“Tonight. Keisha just got here. She ran into George broke down at some rest stop somewhere in Ohio. He doesn’t know if he’s going to make it. Did you see this, Tristan?” Toni said, her information ending on a surprised question and a thumb hike toward the crowd.
To no surprise, Tristan was more worried about George. Whoever that was. “Is someone helping him? Maybe we should see if we can get a couple guys to go help him out.”
“He said he had someone on the way. I figured we’d just split you and Max up. That way you can take Ty to see Keisha tomorrow night. Their setting up the Tepee up now.”
I noticed Tristan’s hand tightening around my waist, pulling me closer to her when she agreed. For whatever reason, I could tell that she liked this idea. That sort of scared me. Jesus, what did I get myself into? “Yes, that’s fine. I was hoping to fit a session in with Keisha anyway. I promised my guy I’d rock his world.”
They both laughed, but not me. My eyebrows rose to the clear blue sky, trying to decipher the meaning behind the words. She’d already done that the night before, and I couldn’t imagine anything coming close to rocking my world than that. As soon as I thought about it, remembering the explosions, the weak foundation I felt in my legs prove it. She made me weak in the knees and there was no denying it.
Even though I knew it was a lie and when it came right down to it, I’d crumble at her feet, trying like hell to stand up for myself for once. “You’re not getting me into anything I don’t know about ahead of time.”
“We’ll see. Here go change him while I finish up here.”
I wasn’t really given a choice. Tristan handed me Baby-T and my arms reacted on their own. For the first time in my life I smelled a baby’s butt. So much for standing up for myself. It was a trick to distract me;I knew it was. Nonetheless, I took the little shit without complaining. To her anyway. Complaining to Baby-T came natural. Right after I caught a good whiff. “Oh, T-Man. We had this talk already.”
It really wasn’t that bad. At least it was solid and not clear up his back. “Good grief,” I said aloud, hearing myself and what I’d just thought in my head. Ty Sheffield was thinking about the density of baby poop.
“There. All clean. You’re cramping my style, little man,” I said, my hands sliding under his tiny body and picking him up, being extra careful with his bobbling head. Only it wasn’t so bobbly. “Tristan. Look.”
Tristan and Toni stuck their head in the side of the van and to my excitement. Baby-T had his head on my shoulder, and although it was wobbly, he held it up all by himself. I didn’t help at all. Tristan smiled warmly at me, winked, and tapped her heart with two fingers. I knew without words that part was for me and I had a pretty good hunch that she’d already witnessed this growing progress herself. It was the fact that I found it a huge deal that touched her heart, and truth be known; I sort of loved watching her heart melt. I loved her.
We spent the entire day, walking around and talking with people from all over the United States, two from Canada, and one back-packer who’d flown there all the way from Australia. My girlfriend was a social butterfly; everyone treated her like…I don’t know. Like she was the chosen one or something. It was weird. She didn’t run into anyone who didn’t know who she was, but not through her famous, political mom. Nobody mentioned that at all. Every time I got the chance to ask her why, and how, somebody else came up to her.
“Travis! Oh my God. How’s the baby?” Tristan asked, once again sidestepping my wondering question. How the hell did these people know who she was?!
I’d stepped away with Baby-T, to show him to a couple little girls who wanted to see him. They were cute, both dirty little girls, but cute. There were eleven little babies there. That’s the information I’d gotten from the two little girls. Four boy babies and six girl babies.
“Tobias, come on. I have to go see someone.”
I stood there staring at her for a brief second, paying close attention to the way I felt. Tristan was upset; hurt, and I felt it. Literally. Without even seeing the expression on her face, I felt it. “I’ll see you guys later. Have fun. What’s wrong, T?”
“That was my friend, Travis. They had a baby a month before I had Baby-T,” she said, her hand going to her mouth, choking back real tears.
“What, T?”
“He died, Tobias.”
Even though I felt the pain stirring in my chest, I knew it wasn’t for the family I didn’t even know, but from her. Tristan’s pain was my pain. “Oh no. That’s horrible.”
Once we made it to Willie’s camper where the mother who’d lost her baby, Jenny was visiting; I once again stood back with Baby-T. The two of them didn’t even speak. The young girl stood and they embraced. No words. Tristan held onto her, hugging her tight and sharing something I was beginning to understand more and more. I still couldn’t explain it at this point, not out loud, but I myself understood. Sort of. No words were needed. Tristan showed her condolences with real, raw, love from the inside out for an entire four minutes before finally pulling away and speaking.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she questioned, this time holding both her hands.
“No, it’s okay, Tristan. I get it. I mean, I don’t, but I do. I know there was a lesson to be learned, but I’m not sure what yet. I know that had I been told I can only have him for three days, I still would have had him. It sucks so bad, but we still have Madeline and each other. So yeah, I’m just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other until it stops hurting. You know?”
“No, I don’t know, Jenny and I can’t even imagine, but I’m here if you need to talk or scream, oh and I have Ty here if you need to punch someone,” she joked, an attempt to lighten the mood.
“Thanks a lot, T.” I said from behind, happy to move away from the sadness.
That got a half ass laugh from her at my expense and I was totally fine with it. “Nice to meet you, Ty.”
“You too. I’m sorry about your loss.”
“Thank you. You’re a very lucky guy. Remember that.”
“For sure. Every day,” I truthfully said; yet I didn’t know why. I mean, yes, I really was thankful for Tristan and Baby-T every single day. I knew that. What I didn’t get was why everyone else thought so, too. They knew something about her that I didn’t know, and it was driving me crazy.
Other than that one lost baby, and that sad moment, I had a blast. Most everyone there lived this way; on the road and simple. It baffled me. A lot
. I met a group of people just like Tristan and if there was any truth to this energy thing at all, it was here. In the middle of this open filed, on top of a majestic mountain, shaded by beautiful maple trees placed throughout the opening. I’d never met so many thoughtful, happy, fun people in all my life. These people truly would give you the shirt off their back, even if it was the last one they had.
Another thing they did that surprised me was show their love. The way the couples openly expressed love for each other was…hmmm. I guess you could say it was refreshing. Public displays of affection were all around us. It wasn’t like some cheesy concert kind of love where slutty girls twirked their asses off of a guy’s crotch. Nothing like that. This was different. Way different. Nothing dirty about it. These people loved just like Tristan. Hard. And it showed.
Tristan and I were no exception. I swear she was wrapped around my body all day, her lips touched mine a thousand times, and our fingers never unlaced. We never needed two chairs either. Not even when we ate. If I sat, she was on my lap. Of course Baby-T was always with one of us while the other one had a hand on him. I was happy that she didn’t hand him over to everyone that wanted to hold him. That might have driven me crazy and been a little bit my fault. The apprehension I had when we left him with Nana May for an hour just about gave me an anxiety attack. There were so many kids around her camper, and it was a real issue and I didn’t think I was being silly at all. She could have easily not paid attention to him on accident, too busy with all the other kids. We didn’t leave him again after that. Not even when we spent four hours with a shit ton of kids of all ages, building some maze thing to release concerns, troubles, or something like that.
It really was sort of amazing though. With my drawing and nineteen kids to do the grunt work, the thing was sick, whatever it was. Tristan was beyond ecstatic over it, and her, me, and Baby-T were the first three to walk it. Hand in hand, heart to heart. I would beg to differ the magic in it though. Without a doubt, I knew the magic came from her and Baby-T, not some cool looking maze made out of river rock and field stone. I didn’t have anything to let go of at that time. There just wasn’t anything. I was too happy and there was nothing I needed to let go of.