Read Perception or The Oatmeal Cookie & Michelle's Mind Page 8


  Jon walks across the parking lot towards the grocery store. Herman is on Jon’s shoulder.

  JON

  How do we do this?

  HERMAN

  I have a clipboard with a

  checklist.

  JON

  Where did you get that? What’s

  it for?

  HERMAN

  For you to pretend to be a

  health inspector.

  JON

  I don’t pass for that.

  Herman holds a grey jacket and a white dress shirt.

  JON

  You’ve gotta be kidding me.

  INT. 24 HOUR GROCERY STORE – NIGHT

  Jon walks in wearing a white dress shirt with a grey jacket overtop. Herman hides in the pocket. He passes the checkout counter and the EMPLOYEE leans over his counter and stares at the back of Jon. Jon walks into

  INT. GROCERY STORE VEGETABLE AISLE – NIGHT

  He stops and stares at cucumbers.

  JON

  I haven’t had these in a long

  time.

 

  HERMAN

  Have one now, Jon. This is all

  free for you. Soon no one will

  question your power.

  Jon grabs a CUCUMBER.

  CUCUMBER

  (screams)

  NO----

  Jon drops the cucumber. Through Jon’s POV it has arms and legs and it runs away.

  CUCUMBER

  (screams)

  I want to live! I want to live!

  At the end of the aisle is the employee. He sees Jon with his right hand out in front of him with a cookie on it, and a cucumber rolls across the floor.

  HERMAN

  Don’t eat that one.

  JON

  I won’t. It screams.

  Herman climbs down Jon’s leg. It walks over to the cucumber. Herman mumbles to the cucumber. Herman pat’s the cucumber’s back. The cucumber smiles.

  JON

  What just happened?

  HERMAN

  I told her you are the new king to

  prevent humans from taking away

  their family and friends. You will

  only eat those who defy you.

  JON

  What of they all obey me? Do I

  never eat?

  Jon picks up Herman and places it on his shoulder.

  HERMAN

  (whispers)

  They are lesser creatures, Jon.

  You may eat them.

  Close up of Jon’s eyes. They are very red and huge grey circles are underneath.

  CUT TO:

  Clips of Jon in the grocery store:

  1. He runs up one aisle, turns and runs down the next aisle.

  2. He hops on a shopping cart and stands while it rolls down the aisle.

  3. He knocks over tea boxes on a shelf while he runs.

  4. He puts chocolate milk into a shopping basket casually when the employee watches him in the distance.

  5. He has his mouth open underneath the bulk candy dispenser. He opens the latch and candy pours out.

  6. He sits on the ground in the vegetable aisle and has tea with the cucumber, a carrot, broccoli, eggplant, and a PEA. 7. He pours chocolate milk into a cup of tea.

  PEA

  Thank you.

  8. Jon walks into the bakery. The lights dim. Disco lights are on. A disco ball comes down from the ceiling. Disco music plays. Jon makes a dance pose and all the vegetables, baked goods, juices, etc., appear. They all have faces and limbs. They all dance. The employee walks by the bakery and watches. He sees Jon twirl his grey coat above his head. There are groceries scattered all over the bakery.

  CUT TO:

  INT. GROCERY STORE CHECKOUT COUNTER – NIGHT

  Jon walks up to the check-out counter.

  EMPLOYEE

  Are you okay?

  JON

  No. I need your new cookie mix

  discontinued.

  EMPLOYEE

  And who authorized that?

  JON

  My supervisor.

  EMPLOYEE

  You can’t fool me. You were here

  a few days ago.

  JON

  I’m on duty now.

  EMPLOYEE

  This late at night?

  JON

  It’s a flexible schedule.

  There is a pause. His eyes get shifty.

  JON

  Just pass the message along,

  alright?

  EMPLOYEE

  Oh, I will.

  JON

  Thanks.

  Jon makes a giant checkmark onto his checklist and hands it to the employee. Jon exits the grocery store.

  INT. JON’S BEDROOM – NOON

  Jon wakes up and sits upright in his bed. He looks worse from the day before. His hair is up. Matt walks in from the hallway and leans on the doorway.

  MATT

  Dude, your house is a total mess.

 

  JON

  How’d you get in here?

  MATT

  The front door.

  Jon rubs his eyes.

  MATT

  It was unlocked.

  Jon looks frantically around his room worried.

  JON

  Herman? Herman?

  MATT

  Who’s Herman?

  JON

  He’s my new friend.

  MATT

  Oh yeah, right. You mentioned

  him before. Awesome, he should

  come to the party too.

  JON

  If I can find him.

  MATT

  (yells)

  Herman. Get in here.

  JON

  (yells)

  Herman.

  Matt goes over to the plate on the floor next to the bed and picks it up.

  MATT

  Can I have this?

  JON

  (excitedly)

  Herman.

  Matt looks confused and hands the plate to Jon.

 

  MATT

  Have you been taking your meds?

 

  JON

  I don’t need them.

  MATT

  Right. Have a shower and I’ll

  meet you downstairs.

  INT. JON’S KITCHEN – DAY

  Matt puts dishes into the dishwasher. Jon enters the kitchen.

  JON

  So, what are we doing today?

  MATT

  How can you forget? We’re getting

  ready for the house party.

  JON

  Oh yeah. Does it have to be here?

  MATT

  Yes. Don’t question anymore.

  EXT. JON’S HOUSE – DAY

  Matt walks down the porch steps while Jon locks the front door. Molly is at Sandra’s front lawn. She sees the two men exit the house and runs over.

  MOLLY

  Hi.

  MATT

  Hey, Molly.

  Molly blows some bubbles. Jon walks on over.

  MOLLY

  Whatcha up to?

  MATT

  We’re gonna get ready for a party

  in a few days.

  Molly and Matt high five.

  MOLLY

  Can I come?

  MATT

  Sorry little lady, this is for

  grownups only.

  MOLLY

  Awe. No fair.

  JON

  You can come to the mall with us.

  MOLLY

  Really? What about stupid Herman?

  JON

  He’s not stupid. And he’s not

  coming.

  MOLLY

  Okay. Lemme ask mom.

  Molly giv
es her bottle of bubbles to Matt and runs back to Sandra’s and enters the house.

  MATT

  Oh, I get it. It’s a game. I was

  worried about you for a second

  about this Herman.

  Jon stares at Matt and says nothing. Molly comes back out of Sandra’s house with Sandra.

  JON

  Hey, Sandra.

  SANDRA

  I hear you’re taking Molly to the

  mall.

  JON

  Yeah. Do you wanna come too?

  MOLLY

  Yeah mommy!

  SANDRA

  I got a photo shoot soon. Sorry.

  Jon runs over to Sandra. He puts his hand on Molly’s head.

  JON

  Hey, umm… do you… ummm… want to

  have dinner with me tonight?

 

  SANDRA

  Yeah, sure. We haven’t really

  talked and hung out for a long

  time.

  JON

  Doug won’t mind?

  SANDRA

  You’re my friend. He can’t keep

  me from having a social life.

  JON

  See you tonight.

  Jon picks up Molly and puts her on his shoulders.

  MOLLY

  Wee! See you mommy!

  Sandra waves. Jon walks over to Matt. Matt is blowing bubbles.

  INT. PARTY SUPPLIES STORE – DAY

  Jon, Molly, and Matt enter the party supplies store and Molly runs towards a bin of stuffed toys.

  MOLLY

  Are you sure this is a party for

  grownups?

  JON

  Yes.

  MOLLY

  Sure doesn’t seem like it.

  JON

  We’re not going to buy stuffed

  toys.

  (pause)

  How about this, you can pick out

  anything in this store.

  MOLLY

  Really?

  JON

  Really.

  Molly cheers and runs off to another bin of toys. Jon’s POV: Jon looks down at the bin below him. A STUFFED BEAR starts moving. It looks up.

  STUFFED BEAR

  Hey, Jon.

  JON

  How do you know my name?

  STUFFED BEAR

  The vegetables are yakkers, ya

  know?

  JON

  But, the grocery store isn’t

  attached to the mall.

  STUFFED BEAR

  People still pass through here.

  MATT (O.S.)

  Hey, c’mere.

  Jon walks away from bin slowly.

  STUFFED BEAR

  Hey, why don’t you take over this

  place! Don’t back away! You can

  help us too!

  Jon turns around. End Jon’s POV. He walks towards Matt.

  MATT

  (points to sign)

  What do you think if we hire a DJ?

  The sign indicates “We do DJ Rentals!” and has prices listed.

  JON

  That’s pricey. Renting the

  speakers and hooking it up to my

  laptop would be better. No DJ

  needed. Just play the tracks.

  MATT

  Woah, technicalities. That’s why

  you’re the editor man. Okay, we

  rent the speakers. Anything else?

  JON

  Alcohol. Lots of it.

  MATT

  Dude, we’re gonna get hammered.

  I should call up our old college

  buddies.

  JON

  You never went to college.

  MATT

  But, we went to a lot of parties!

  Molly walks up next to Jon and Matt.

  MATT

  Hey, whatcha got there?

  MOLLY

  It’s an art kit.

  (to Jon)

  You said I can pick out anything

  from the store.

  JON

  Yup.

  MATT

  Okay, let’s rent this!

  CUT TO:

  INT. MALL -- FOOD COURT – DAY

  The three are sitting and eating food. Around them are over 10 bags of alcohol and a giant keg of beer. Matt and Molly high five.

  JON (V.O.)

  Little does Matt know the alcohol

  is for me and hopefully I won’t

  seem odd talking to myself all

  the time.

  A WITCH then appears behind Matt. She cackles. Jon glares at her. Matt and Molly do not hear or see the witch.

 

  JON (V.O.)

  Hey witch!

  The witch looks up.

  JON (V.O.)

  Yeah, I’m talking to you.

  The witch wiggles her fingers around Matt’s head.

  JON (V.O.)

  Keep away from my friend.

  Jon makes a shooing motion with his hands.

  WITCH

  (manly low voice)

  Oh fine. You’re no fun.

  The witch walks away.

  MOLLY

  Can I have ice cream?

  JON

  Sure, on the way back.

  INT. JON’S HOUSE – DAY

  Jon opens the front door and enters the house. Molly and Matt follow. The door closes. They put their bags onto the floor.

  The DOORBELL RINGS. Jon opens the door to reveal a DELIVERY MAN. He’s holding a clipboard and has a package on the ground.

  DELIVERY MAN

  Hello, I have a package for Jon

  Castillo.

  JON

  That’s me.

  The Delivery Man hands his clipboard to Jon.

  DELIVERY MAN

  Sign here.

  Jon signs.

  DELIVERY MAN

  Thank you!

  He takes the clipboard back and hands the package to Jon. The Delivery Man walks halfway onto the pathway and then stops. He is then beamed up into a bright light. Jon closes the door. The package has a label “Space Delivery.”

  MATT

  Who was it?

  Jon

  Delivery guy.

  Jon opens the package. He pulls out flighlight slippers. Molly runs over.

  MOLLY

  Cool.

  MATT

  Why did you buy it?

  JON

  Saw it on the shopping network.

  Molly turns a switch on the slipper and light comes out of the toe of it.

  JON

  Might come in handy. Lady on the

  show said it was a must have and

  can prevent tripping.

  They walk into

  JON’S KITCHEN

  Jon grabs the slipper from Molly.

  JON

  It’s not a toy Molly. It’s adult

  stuff.

  Molly looks saddened.

  MOLLY

  Can we do something fun?

  MATT

  We’re gonna clear out space for

  the party.

  MOLLY

  No not that.

  JON

  Then what?

  Jon sits down on the couch in the living room.

  MOLLY

  We still haven’t edited the rest

  of the movie.

  MATT

  You didn’t finish yet? I thought

  you were done?

  JON

  Ignore her. She’s delusional.

  MOLLY

  You meanie.

  JON

  Go sit in a corner or something.

  Molly goes to the plate in the living room and grabs it.

  MOLLY

  I
have Herman.

  JON

  That’s not him.

  Molly opens her mouth. She moves the cookie to her mouth.

  JON

  (franticly)

  Hey. Stop that.

  Jon gets up and Molly runs to Matt in the kitchen.

  MOLLY

  He didn’t finish editing, Matt.

  JON

  She lies!

  Jon runs into the kitchen.

  JON

  Do you want the slippers? Is

  that it?

  HERMAN

  Help me Jon! She’s crazy.

  MATT

  Dude, you go edit the movie. I’ll

  go set up.

  MOLLY

  I just want to have fun with

  you Jon, like always. You’ve

  become weird.

  Molly opens the patio door and runs…

  OUTSIDE

  She climbs onto the fence and sits. Jon runs outside, frantically.

  Molly puts the cookie into her mouth and bites a bit of it.

  HERMAN

  (horrific scream)

  AAHHHH-----

  Jon runs to the fence.

  JON

  (yells)

  Herman!

  Molly finishes off the cookie. Jon pushes Molly off the fence and she lands on her side. Cries are heard and Sandra is seen coming out of her backyard patio.

  SANDRA

  (yells)

  Molly.

  Sandra goes over to the fallen Molly and picks her up. There are scratches on her and she is a bit dirty. Molly is crying.