Sebastian turns to me. “What did I do to deserve you?”
“Look,” I say. “I’m not as great as you make me out to be. I have problems too, I’m not perfect. I’m just in love with you.”
“You would really do anything for me?”
“Try me.”
“You didn’t even pause.”
“Sebastian,” I say. “I think you have trouble believing something good can happen to you.”
“That’s not it,” he says.
“Then?”
He glances at the floor. “I’m afraid I guess.”
“Of what?”
“I’ve lived my whole life pretending to be someone I’m not,” Sebastian explains. “I’ve always been unhappy and pretended to be happy and no one knew the difference. Not even the people I call my friends. Look, I don’t blame them, because I guess it’s because I’m such a good actor, but still. Sometimes, you wish it wasn’t like that. You wish for things…that aren’t yours to wish for.”
Fuck. Why did he have to say something like that? There are things, that I’ve been holding on to, that I need to tell him but I don’t know if I can. But he deserves the truth. I feel like a monster when I think about all the things I’ve done behind his back. I want him to be happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I need to relieve him of this burden that he’s carrying, that he thinks he’s going to carry forever.
“Sebastian,” I say. “There’s something I need to tell you. But I want you to promise me that you won’t freak out.”
He looks at me, fear evident in his eyes. He thinks his fears are about to come alive, his dreams are about to break. “I can’t promise you that.”
“Sebastian,” I say, after a pause. “The other day, when you were sleeping and we were at your place, I got my hands on this.” I take out the tiny key from my pocket and show it to him. He stares at it blankly. “That…that’s the key to my…”
“Secret room,” I finish for him.
“What…what…um…what’re you doing with that, Liam?”
“Look,” I say. “Sebastian, I know your secret. Okay? I know what this key is hiding away.”
He’s just staring at me still. “I can’t believe you would do something like that.”
“Sebastian,” I say. “I had to find out what it was that was bothering you so much! I had to use this key because you wouldn’t tell me.”
He stands and there’s a fear inside my chest of losing him that suddenly rears its head. What the hell did I just do? Did I just admit to him that I had been snooping around his house? Looking for some stupid answers to some stupid questions? “Look,” I say. “Take this. I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore.”
My heart aches just getting those words out.
He takes the keys from my hand. “I don’t believe you, Liam.”
I don’t even lift my gaze from the floor to face him. “Letting me inside your home,” I say. “It was a sacred thing, Sebastian. You trusted me and I broke your trust by doing this. But I couldn’t help myself. I was afraid it was something—”
“Deranged?” he says and this time I can tell that he’s choking back tears.
“Sebastian, you’re not deranged!” I say, finally able to look at him. “You’re a beautiful, caring guy who deserves to be happy. Who deserves to be treated like he’s the only thing in anyone’s life!”
“Shut up!”
“If it doesn’t bother me, then why does this thing bother you so much?”
“Fuck you, Liam!”
He tries to leave but I grab him by the shoulders before he can and hold him back. “Sebastian,” I say. “I love you.”
“How’s that possible?” he sobs. “After what you saw?”
I grab his face in my hands. “Listen to me,” I say. “It wouldn’t be love if I didn’t accept you with all of this.”
“If this comes out I’ll kill myself,” he says and he’s still sobbing.
“Don’t,” I say. “Don’t you dare talk that way.”
“I mean it, Liam. You don’t know—”
I place a finger on his lips to quiet him. “Shhhh.”
When I kiss him I can taste his tears. “Don’t cry, please.”
He kisses me and then puts his arms around me and rests his head on my chest. I just hold him there and wish that time would stop.
“I don’t know what to do,” he says, after a long time has passed.
“Sometimes we get so used to trying to control things, to have them go a certain way that we forget how much better it is to just let go.”
“What happens if I fall?”
I lift his face up to mine. “I’ll catch you before you hit the ground.”
How Can We Breathe?
TEAGUE
I see Ashley approaching but don’t try to get away. I realize that sooner or later I have to face this so it’s better if I do it now. “Hi,” she says, coming to stand next to me at the bar counter in Liam’s game room.
“Hi,” I say, taking a sip of my beer.
“Where’s Mia?”
“I think she’s redoing her makeup again.”
“Mia seems like a nice girl,” Ashley says. “I’m glad you two are together.”
“I told you I was always in love with her,” I say. “Ever since high school. We’ve been together for most of our lives. Except for that one time that I met you.”
“I know,” she says. “You were pretty talkative as I recall.”
“Look,” I say, gathering the courage to say the next words. “Ashley…whatever happened during those few months, I’ve always regretted it.”
“Really?” she says. “Because I’m sure there were parts of it that you didn’t regret.”
“There are…there were…what I meant was…”
“I know, Teague. I know what you’re talking about; you don’t have to say it.”
“I love Mia,” I blurt out. “We’ve been having a rough go of it the past few days, because I did something I shouldn’t have done.”
“Yes. The incident with the illegal fight.”
“You know about that?”
“I’ve been in Springvale for a while,” Ashley says. “My fiancé had some business here. You were kind of hot news for quite a bit. It’s hard to ignore.”
“I’m making a fresh start with Mia,” I say. “I just want to put everything bad behind me. Including everything that happened with you.”
Ashley looks heartbroken. “So, she doesn’t know? About what happened?”
“No,” I say. “And if you’re planning to tell her, then its better if she heard it from me.”
“Teague,” she says. “I won’t tell her anything. Why would I?”
“I just thought…never mind.”
“You thought that I’m desperate enough to try to get my hands on you when I know that you have a girlfriend?” she says. “Desperate enough and cunning enough to tell Mia? What the hell for? I told you, I’m engaged. I have a fiancé now and we’re happy together. Why would I want to do that?”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean to sound rude. I wasn’t thinking. I saw you and…”
“You thought that I had some kind of obsession with you?”
“It’s been a rough few weeks. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to imply that you were some desperate girl looking to get back with me. And I’m glad that you’re with someone and that it’s serious.”
“Thank you,” Ashley says. “And it’s okay. Honestly, I’m just happy that I got to see you. And we were always friends, Teague. We can still be that. So if you ever want to talk, well, you have my number.”
“Hey guys,” Mia says, announcing her presence and kissing me on the cheek. “What’re you two plotting?”
“I was just making sure that Teague comes to the party,” Ashley says.
“And?” Mia asks. “Did he complain and say that he wasn’t coming?”
“He did at first,” Ashley says. “But then he agreed so I’m just
happy about that.”
“She’s lying,” I say. “She knows I never miss a reason to party.”
Ashley and Mia both smile. “I have to go find my friends,” Ashley says. “I’ll see the two of you this weekend.”
“See you Ashley!” Mia says and turns to me. “You’re not having any feelings for the ex, are you?”
“Mia, no. We were just talking.”
“I know,” Mia says. “But just to be clear: we have a strict, ill-chop-your-balls-if-you-don’t-comply policy about not fucking anyone other than each other, right?”
“I remember.”
“So don’t do it.”
“Just curious about one thing though,” I say. “With no balls in the picture, would my cock still be working? I mean, I don’t mind if it shoots blanks so long as it works.”
“Pretty sure having zero balls means no more shooting anything. Except your crazy girlfriend shooting you right in your face. With a load of lead.”
“Wow you’re really committed to the whole crazy girlfriend act. I like it.”
She glances up at me fake-sweetly and bats her eyelashes. “Baby,” she says. “What makes you think it’s an act?”
Something More
LIAM
Sebastian has barely left the room when there’s a knock on my door. Thinking it might be him again I open it and find Ashley standing outside. “Can we talk?”
I glance in the hallways to make sure there’s no one close by. When I’m certain no one is seeing us, I let her in. “What’s wrong Ashley?”
She goes right up to the dresser and checks her makeup. “How do I look?”
“Don’t you think I’m the wrong person to ask that question, Ashley?”
“Right. I forgot.”
“How can you forget?”
“Well,” she says, turning to face me. “I see you acting like a straight guy so much it’s hard to remember you’re anything but.”
“Did you come here to tell me that?”
“What’s up with you?” Ashley asks. “Why’re you so angry?”
I roll my eyes. “We had an agreement, Ashley. And according to that agreement you’re not supposed to be seeing me in private like this. You even realize what’s at stake here?”
“I didn’t come back to Springvale because I didn’t know what was at stake, Liam.”
“So why are you here?”
“I made sure no one saw me. You can relax.”
That does nothing but make me more annoyed. She’s taking this too lightly and I don’t like it. I don’t like that my entire plan is dependent on her behaving right. “I did what you asked me to do,” she says.
“Oh,” I say. “So you’re looking for approval. Bravo, Ashley! You were brilliant out there. Will that be all?”
“Sometimes I wonder why I agreed to work with you. You’re an asshole, Liam.”
“And your point is?”
“Months,” Ashley says. “I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting. All because you said so. And now that I’ve seen him again, I’m supposed to just let him be with that bitch?”
Leave it to Ashley to make everything dramatic and overly complicated. But I’ve known her a while and I know the way to handle Ashley is not to be rude, no matter how stupid she is being. “Ashley,” I say, more gently this time. “I know you’re dying to get to the destination. I am too. I would love to just skip this whole act and get to the end. You think I’m enjoying this? But there’s a way to do this, we both agreed. That’s why we had a plan, we talked about this. I know it sucks, but the only way to get what you want, is to be patient.”
“How can you ask me to be patient when you’re having the time of your life with Sebastian?”
I must look a little surprised because she rolls her eyes. “Oh please. You think I don’t know the two of you have been sneaking around? I see the way you look at each other.”
If she noticed, do other people notice too? I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad, but it’s bad that I’m not the one controlling it. And I hate losing control. It’s the one thing that scares me to death. “We’re still sneaking around,” I say. “It’s not like we’re announcing it to the world. We still have to hide.”
“Yeah but at least you got what you wanted!!”
If only she knew. “It may look that way to you, but it’s not true Ashley.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want to talk about that right now.”
“But we’re friends, aren’t we?”
Oh God, I can’t believe this woman is still talking. “Listen,” I say. “We’ve been in here for long. If anyone catches us, our whole plan could be in jeopardy. Is that what you want?”
She looks like she’s actually debating it, the stupid bitch. “No,” she says at long last.
“Then leave,” I say.
“Fine!” she slams the door on her way out, but at least she’s gone.
I finally have some time to be with my own thoughts.
This world is cruel.
When you know what you want, you can’t let others get in the way, and there’s nothing I will allow to come between me and Sebastian. I don’t think he knows how much I love him. He doesn’t know that while he brings out the best in me and I’m tempted to do things the right way that I won’t hesitate to destroy everything in order to get to him. I promised him the world and that’s exactly what he’s going to get. The world. In a silver platter, just like he deserves.
“What happens if I fall?”
“I’ll catch you before you hit the ground.”
Love Does Everything But Breathe
MIA
He pushes me against the wall and we start to kiss. We’re in one of the rooms in Liam’s house and the house is so big anyone could get lost in it. But that’s exactly what we needed, a place to get lost in. This room is at the end of a long hallway and Teague chose it because it was so far away.
“God,” Teague says, tugging at my dress. “I hate that I can’t tear this thing off.”
“You can,” I say, playfully massaging his crotch. “If you want to see me go naked through the swarm of party guests and butlers servings champagne.”
“Maybe we can just stay here till they leave.”
“We don’t even know if this room belongs to someone,” I say. “What if Liam doesn’t want us here?”
I guess I have a hard time loosening up in Delaney’s home because it just looks so intimidating. I get why Sebastian is such good friends with the guy, Liam happens to be his employer and Sebastian has to listen to what he says, but most of the time, I find Liam to be a bit odd. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to bitch about him but there’s something about him that makes me feel as though he’s hiding things. Of course it doesn’t matter much. It’s not like any of us are in a relationship with him. Well, technically Sebastian is in a work relationship but that’s not the same thing.
Teague and I start kissing and caressing one another, he’s taking it slow this time. “Come over here,” he says and leads me towards the sofa. He sits on the edge and I straddle him, his hands push my hips towards his body as our mouths search and our hands explore each other’s bodies. I use my hands to push Teague’s shirt off his shoulder and toss it aside. I kiss him on the neck, licking his ear lobe in between and then going back to the skin of his neck. I lick and kiss my way down and then back up to his face, feeling his slight stubble on my tongue. Our mouths meet again, more sensual this time and Teague pushes the hair back from my face and just looks at me for a moment. “You’re beautiful,” he says, and we go back to kissing. “Take off your clothes,” Teague says and I know we’re both ready. So I take off the dress and set it aside, while Teague unbuttons his jeans and takes his pants off.
When we’re both naked, I bend to place my mouth on his cock and don’t take it off until he is hard and big enough to hurt. I look up at him and he looks into my eyes. “You like that, baby?” I say. “Want me to keep going?”
> “Fuck,” Teague says. “I love this! But you can’t keep going.”
“Why?” I ask innocently even though I know the reason.
“Why?” Teague mocks me. “You know very well, why!”
If I stay on the blowjob for too long, Teague ends up finishing. Like really, finishing! I love the control I know that I have. Teague pulls me up and kisses my mouth. “I fucking love you,” he says. “I don’t want this to ever stop.”
“It won’t,” I say, kissing him again and then I straddle him on the sofa and pull on a condom over his length, guide it towards my slick, waiting hole and we fuck that way on the couch, me straddling him and impaling myself over his cock over and over until we’re both sharing a rhythm that’s new to us even though we’ve shared it so many times before. As my hips are moving over his cock, I start to get close to coming and grab Teague’s shoulders.
Suddenly, Teague grabs my body at the hips, lifts me and places me down on the sofa so he can get on top. His cock slips out but his fingers slip inside my wetness, and I must have come multiple times when he keeps using this same movement of his fingers to go in and out and concentrates on one singular spot, the one that makes everything around me melt and give way to perfect beauty, and when he just can’t help himself, he slides his cock back in and starts thrusting. His hands go over my breasts, as I lie back and enjoy the sensations when he lifts one leg of mine and places it against his shoulder and fucks me even harder.
In the next moment, Teague is lying on top of me and we’re both panting, and he kisses my forehead and pulls me into a hug and I bury my face into his chest.
He gets up and picks up his clothes from the floor, throws me my dress. “I’m tired,” I say, putting on my dress. “Can we go home now?”
“You’re tired?” Teague says. “That’s a first.”