Chapter 7:
My eyes opened to cream tile and I knew immediately I was somewhere else. I pushed myself up off of the floor to a sitting position and looked around me. I could hear water running to my side. I looked over toward the sound of the water. My familiar burgundy shower curtain was hanging on the rod above the tub. I shook my head in disbelief. I sat there in shock, refusing to believe that I was in my bathroom. Maybe I just hadn’t regained consciousness yet. Surely that must be the case.
Minutes passed by and nothing changed. I was still on my bathroom floor. The shower still ran. The reality of the situation reined in. I began to cry uncontrollably. I could hear the screams in my head that had not yet formed on my lips.
“He is gone. Oh god, he’s gone. It’s over.” I whispered to myself. I started clutching my hair, tugging on it firmly as madness moved its way in. I yanked down and several strands of hair came out in each hand. I opened my palms and watched the strands fall to the floor. I jumped up and looked at myself in the mirror. All of my injuries had disappeared. The silver dress was gone. I stood completely nude. I just stared at my reflection unable to understand. My left shoulder was without flaw. No little scratches were scattered across my skin. I looked down to my knees and the scrapes had disappeared. The acid burn was gone from my leg. All proof that I had ever left this bathroom was gone.
I let out an inhuman scream, my eyes bulging as I saw the water glass that had broken before I had went through the mirror on the counter. There was not even a scratch on it. I started to feel dizzy, my confusion becoming unbearable.
I climbed up on the counter and started pressing my hands against the mirror, trying to find a way back in. I couldn’t allow myself to believe that there would be no more chances. After pressing against the entire surface I started to bang on it.
I leaned my head against the glass and started screaming, “Please let me in. PLEASE! I can’t… I just can’t. Please! Somebody help me! I can’t deal with this!” Tortured sobs came between my hyperventilating. I slid off of the counter and placed my feet back on the floor.
I stared at myself in the mirror, self-hatred growing by the second. I glanced down and picked up the water glass and heaved it at the mirror, shattering the image of myself. I watched the pieces of glass fly to the ground. I screamed again as I realized that Andrew’s shirt, boxers, and towel were missing from the floor where they had been when I left.
“WHAT IS HAPPENING?!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I turned towards the door and walked out of the bathroom, not bothering to turn off the shower. My feet crunched on the glass as I exited, tearing up the soles of my feet with each step. I did not even pause.
I crossed over to the closet door and opened it. I stood unable to move at first and then threw up as it became too much for me to mentally grasp. His side of the closet was completely empty. Every shirt, every pair of pants, every box was gone. My clothes hung neatly on one side of the closet. The other side of the closet remained completely vacant, as if I was waiting for someone to move in and take the other half.
“No, no, no…. this isn’t possible. THIS ISN’T POSSIBLE!” Tears and snot ran down my face. I slammed the closet door and made my way towards the bedroom.
I walked over to our dresser and opened the drawer where he kept his underwear and socks. It was completely bare except for a concert ticket from a show we had gone to the previous year. My panic rose in my chest growing more the longer that I stared at the blank space. I slammed the drawer back into the dresser.
I walked over to the nightstand and Andrew’s phone was gone. I began to cry hysterically. What was happening? Where had everything gone? It was as if the queen had sent me back and sucked everything that was Andrew’s in at the same time. I ran to the other side of the bed and picked up my phone. I feverishly dialed Mike’s number. Maybe she had taken everything, but Mike would remember my call. She couldn’t take that from me.
“Hello?” Mike answered. He sounded somewhat strange.
“Mike, thank god! It’s Torey. Do you remember the conversation that we had earlier, the one about Andrew being missing?” I choked out.
There was silence. I started to panic. “Mike! Mike, are you there?!”
“Yeah, I am here. Torey…. are you, um, ok?” his voice sounded almost frightened.
“No, I am not ok! Andrew has been kidnapped! He is gone! I don’t really know how to explain it to you right now, but he is gone. All of his stuff is gone. I don’t know what to do!” I couldn’t control the loud sobs as they flowed out of me.
“Look, Torey, calm down ok. I am going to come over. We will work all of this out ok?”
“Oh thank you! Thank you! Please hurry!” I said, feeling a small bit of relief. Someone else was going to see what I was talking about.
“Just don’t go anywhere. I am leaving right now. I will be there in 45 minutes,” he said reassuringly.
“Ok, I won’t. See you then.” I hung up the phone and went to the closet to grab my housecoat. I slid the black satin housecoat on and tied it. I walked through the hallway, and across the living room, paying no attention to the trail of blood my feet were leaving. I walked out the front door and down the walkway.
I reached the carport. Against every wish and hope I had, his car was gone. I walked over to the shed and opened the door. His surfboard was gone as well. I made my way back inside. I walked into the living room and sat on the couch. I reached over to the side table and grabbed the photo of Andrew and me from the prior Christmas. At least the photos remained. At least I still had those.
I curled myself up into a ball with the picture. He was gone. Even though Mike was coming, it would not change anything. Even if he remembered the conversation, it would not change the fact that Andrew was in an unreachable place now. When I told him the story of what had happened he would think I was crazy. Maybe I would even be blamed for his disappearance. They would lock me up forever. That was just fine with me. After all, what was left now? What was left to look forward to? Nothing. Years and years of nothing was all there was now. They would execute me probably. They would ask over and over where the body was, never believing my story. I couldn’t blame them though. I wouldn’t believe me either.
I stood up walked to front door, locking it. I turned and walked toward the kitchen, picture still in hand. I picked up a pen out of the cup on the counter next to where we keep our bills and turned to the fridge. I pulled one of the “To do list” sheets off of the magnetized pad and walked over to the breakfast table.
I sat down and placed the photo in front of me and started to write down the gist of the events that had taken place, looking up from time to time to stare at Andrew’s face. I described the plains, the tunnel, the monsters, the queen, the fortress and what had taken place there, waking up in the bathroom, and everything else that had happened since as quickly as possible, so that there would be no confusion.
After I had written what happened I decided that I needed to write some sort of apology for what I would do next:
I want everyone I love to know how sorry I am. I never intended on doing this, but I have lost everything. I know no one will ever believe me. No one will ever be able to understand what I have been through. I know that I will never be able to forgive myself for not being able to save him. I know that I will never be able to live knowing that I will never be able to see him again, that he still exists, but he is where I will never be able to reach him. I am sorry to anyone and everyone this hurts, but I don’t know what else to do. I love all of you.
Love always,
Torey
I folded the letter twice neatly and sat it under the framed picture. I got up and walked back to the kitchen, opening the drawer to the right of the stove. I pulled out my butcher’s knife and walked back over to the table. I sat back down and I stared at Andrew’s face.
“I know you wouldn’t approve of what I am about to do, so I apologize for that. I apologize for failing you. I apologize for not be
ing able to save you. I love you so much. I hope that maybe someday in the stretch of eternity, that I will see you again.” I kissed my pointer and middle fingers and placed them on the lips of the image of Andrew in the picture.
I took the butcher’s knife and ran it across one wrist and then the other, flinching with each cut. I watched as the maroon liquid seeped from my veins and down my arms, dripping onto the carpet. I stared at the image of Andrew’s face. I allowed my arms to hang loosely at the sides of the chair. The blood ran warm against my hands, the wounds throbbing.
Every moment of my life slowly started playing itself in front of my eyes between flashes of my current setting covered in blue and purple dots. I saw my mother and my father, as I remembered them from when I was young. I saw my siblings and different scenes of us playing together and then the arguments that we had when we got older. Dizziness moved in, slightly at first and then stronger. The light in the room became dimmer and dimmer. My ears began to ring. I closed my eyes and let my head hang back, waiting for the end.
All of the sudden I heard people outside of the front door. There was something said about blood on the sidewalk. I heard a banging upon the door.
“Police! Open up!” a male voice called. “Police!” There was another loud series of rapping. I guessed that Mike had assumed the worse and sent them over.
There was a loud bang and then another. I could not open my eyes. There was a loud crash and the sound of wood splintering. I heard the footsteps of several people moving into the living room.
“Oh dear god! Get an EMT in here now! Hurry, she’s slit her wrists!” The man called out. A few moments later, I felt fingers on my throat searching for a pulse.
There was silence, and I knew that I was dead.